The whole house is napping and I'm wide awake, bored AF. Even if I do nap, I won't sleep tonight and it will be hard to get up for work tomorrow, so.
I really wish I had a project to work on this weekend since our other plans went on without us, and we were pretty much confined to the house.
The house is spotless, the laundry is done, the bills are paid, even did some yard work today. Felt good to get sweaty and also clean up the jungle that keeps trying to re-emerge in the back yard. Have declared that the back yard is desperately void of flowers and I need to find some sturdy varieties that the dog will not destroy in her blind quest for the elusive squirrel. Also I will probably be very sore tomorrow. Also I'm still completely smitten with the vincas by the front door. They're doing well, and they make me smile every time I see them.
I have spaghetti on the menu for tonight but I'm just not feelin' it.
Super discouraged about this ugly rash face, but I guess there's nothing to do but try not to think about it and avoid mirrors and try not to itch.
I do have a book to read, but it's just not that good. I'm skimming my way through it to get to the main points, and there are few.
25 May 2015
24 May 2015
life and lemons
I just took antibiotics with wine. I am my mother.
You know how life is just kinda going along and then sometimes something happens and fucks it all up and you're like, WHOA I did NOT see that coming...?
Well Friday night Chris had to work and I had solid plans to get drunk and go to bed early because life/work has been so goddamn exhausting lately. Well, I didn't get drunk or go to bed early but I was all cozied up in bed, fading fast watching some tv at about 11.
Then I got a call because Chris had an accident at work; he fell off of ladder and broke his wrist, sprained the other one, and bruised up pretty much everything else. I jumped out of bed to meet them at the ER. I got there to find my sweet tooter husband lying in bed all beat up. I told him that I was going to start an ER scrapbook because we can't seem to go a year without visiting one.
As with a typical ER visit, we got home in the wee hours of the morning after an exhausting night, and we spent the weekend trying to make him comfortable and making sure he takes his pain meds. Because the thing is, he only has a splint on his arm. He will need surgery and of course he broke his wrist on a Friday night before a long weekend, so it won't be scheduled until Wednesday-- IF the worker's comp claim is filed in time. So no cast until it's got a nice, sturdy metal plate to hold the bones together. Which means there's still a lot of pain and no real healing can take place yet. I feel terrible because he can't get comfortable or completely get rid of the pain.
Plus his entire summer plans of working for this guy are all out the window and who knows how he's going to heal or what's going to happen.
His mom will be arriving tomorrow to take care of him while I'm at work. I wish it was a slow time of year so I could easily chunk deuce for a week, but such is life. Of course I'll take off when he has the surgery but his mom's retired and doesn't really have anything better to do so it kind of works out.
My mom gave me some adult diaper rash cream to put on my face, and so far it's the most effective thing I've tried. I scheduled a dermatologist appointment for, you guessed it, Wednesday, but it will most likely need to be rescheduled due to Chris having surgery. So who knows when I'll be able to fix my rashy face. Sad (rashy) face.
On top of those circumstances, I got a speeding ticket today. My first ever. I am so fed up with life's little curveballs lately that I wasn't even upset; just another drop in the bucket. Fine, give me the ticket. I'll figure it out and deal with it. Hopefully a boring online session of Defensive Driving will take care of it. I haven't heard people complain too much about resolving tickets so it can't be that bad. *KNOCK ON WOOD*
You know how life is just kinda going along and then sometimes something happens and fucks it all up and you're like, WHOA I did NOT see that coming...?
Well Friday night Chris had to work and I had solid plans to get drunk and go to bed early because life/work has been so goddamn exhausting lately. Well, I didn't get drunk or go to bed early but I was all cozied up in bed, fading fast watching some tv at about 11.
Then I got a call because Chris had an accident at work; he fell off of ladder and broke his wrist, sprained the other one, and bruised up pretty much everything else. I jumped out of bed to meet them at the ER. I got there to find my sweet tooter husband lying in bed all beat up. I told him that I was going to start an ER scrapbook because we can't seem to go a year without visiting one.
As with a typical ER visit, we got home in the wee hours of the morning after an exhausting night, and we spent the weekend trying to make him comfortable and making sure he takes his pain meds. Because the thing is, he only has a splint on his arm. He will need surgery and of course he broke his wrist on a Friday night before a long weekend, so it won't be scheduled until Wednesday-- IF the worker's comp claim is filed in time. So no cast until it's got a nice, sturdy metal plate to hold the bones together. Which means there's still a lot of pain and no real healing can take place yet. I feel terrible because he can't get comfortable or completely get rid of the pain.
Plus his entire summer plans of working for this guy are all out the window and who knows how he's going to heal or what's going to happen.
His mom will be arriving tomorrow to take care of him while I'm at work. I wish it was a slow time of year so I could easily chunk deuce for a week, but such is life. Of course I'll take off when he has the surgery but his mom's retired and doesn't really have anything better to do so it kind of works out.
My mom gave me some adult diaper rash cream to put on my face, and so far it's the most effective thing I've tried. I scheduled a dermatologist appointment for, you guessed it, Wednesday, but it will most likely need to be rescheduled due to Chris having surgery. So who knows when I'll be able to fix my rashy face. Sad (rashy) face.
On top of those circumstances, I got a speeding ticket today. My first ever. I am so fed up with life's little curveballs lately that I wasn't even upset; just another drop in the bucket. Fine, give me the ticket. I'll figure it out and deal with it. Hopefully a boring online session of Defensive Driving will take care of it. I haven't heard people complain too much about resolving tickets so it can't be that bad. *KNOCK ON WOOD*
20 May 2015
cooking
The other day, Chris asked me if I liked to cook.
This struck me as a significant question, so I asked why, and he said something like, because I do it every day.
Well, I do the dishes/ drive to work/ clean the litter box every day, but I don't exactly like to do those things, they're just a necessary part of life. We need to eat. And I don't mean chips and popcorn and ice cream and wine. Although clearly those things are all part of a balanced diet.
The thing is, I really do enjoy cooking. I don't exactly enjoy the cleaning up part, but as my mom taught us, that's a necessary part of cooking and you can't have one without the other. Including wiping off the counter tops, stove, and cleaning out the sink. When you're done cooking there shouldn't be a mess. While that little life lesson is a pain in the ass because I can't relax until the "cooking is complete" and the kitchen is cleaned up, I'm so thankful that she engrained that little habit into our minds. Because crusty nasty dishes the next day are no fun and used to be a huge part of why I didn't cook. Thank goodness for dishwashers. *side note* I took a lot of pictures of my dirty dishes back in the day LOL. And I bitched about them a lot. It's a big deal.
My type A side (oh who am I kidding, it's the whole thing) really gets off on the organization of cooking. The dance of having all of the ingredients ready and multitasking so that the different parts of the meal are ready at the same time. Chopping vegetables while the water boils, etc. I love the efficiency and orchestrated flow of things. Today I made these enchiladas (because the avocados were suddenly ripe) and some mexican rice that Chris's friend's wife taught me how to make while she was visiting. Unhindered, the kitchen was all mine. I shredded and heated and stirred and I was having a blast the whole time. Not to mention the meal was absolutely divine. This is a solid recipe, man. I only had a bit of enchilada sauce left over in the freezer from last time, so I thinned it out with the juice from the can of beans and chiles. Perfect.
I'm slowly getting better and better at making recipes because I know what flavors go together, and how long things take to cook, etc. So yes, I enjoy cooking. Some days more than others, but overall yes. It seems all of my sisters have inherited mom's bit of talent for making scrap meals and avoiding throwing food away. So there's that.
This struck me as a significant question, so I asked why, and he said something like, because I do it every day.
Well, I do the dishes/ drive to work/ clean the litter box every day, but I don't exactly like to do those things, they're just a necessary part of life. We need to eat. And I don't mean chips and popcorn and ice cream and wine. Although clearly those things are all part of a balanced diet.
The thing is, I really do enjoy cooking. I don't exactly enjoy the cleaning up part, but as my mom taught us, that's a necessary part of cooking and you can't have one without the other. Including wiping off the counter tops, stove, and cleaning out the sink. When you're done cooking there shouldn't be a mess. While that little life lesson is a pain in the ass because I can't relax until the "cooking is complete" and the kitchen is cleaned up, I'm so thankful that she engrained that little habit into our minds. Because crusty nasty dishes the next day are no fun and used to be a huge part of why I didn't cook. Thank goodness for dishwashers. *side note* I took a lot of pictures of my dirty dishes back in the day LOL. And I bitched about them a lot. It's a big deal.
My type A side (oh who am I kidding, it's the whole thing) really gets off on the organization of cooking. The dance of having all of the ingredients ready and multitasking so that the different parts of the meal are ready at the same time. Chopping vegetables while the water boils, etc. I love the efficiency and orchestrated flow of things. Today I made these enchiladas (because the avocados were suddenly ripe) and some mexican rice that Chris's friend's wife taught me how to make while she was visiting. Unhindered, the kitchen was all mine. I shredded and heated and stirred and I was having a blast the whole time. Not to mention the meal was absolutely divine. This is a solid recipe, man. I only had a bit of enchilada sauce left over in the freezer from last time, so I thinned it out with the juice from the can of beans and chiles. Perfect.
I'm slowly getting better and better at making recipes because I know what flavors go together, and how long things take to cook, etc. So yes, I enjoy cooking. Some days more than others, but overall yes. It seems all of my sisters have inherited mom's bit of talent for making scrap meals and avoiding throwing food away. So there's that.
18 May 2015
oh snapish
I purposefully didn't download the facebook app to my new phone. Freeeeeedom, man. I will let you know when I cave.
I'm home along drinking by myself with the pop hits music channel on tv. Fuck yeah, it feels like a free-time Saturday! On a Monday! So you know what you get?? A drunk blog full of rambles and curse words and italics and a few typos! Yeah!
I danced to Uptown Funk with the cat and the dog for a bit. It was great. Pumpkin is disgruntled and used to it. Andy wasn't quite sure what to think but she got all excited.
Spent a good part of my commute home trying to think of WHAT my skin could be reacting to. It's spread to around my mouth, which doesn't make me look like a nasty diseased whore or anything. Good thing I'm training tons of people face-to-face every day during this rash-fest. And good thing I have plenty of time to take off work to go back to the doctor! You know I'm fucking busy when I don't take time off to handle a facial rash that seems to be spreading.
Seriously, I would not have missed it for the apocalypse but taking two days off work to go see Goob meant I had to stay late at work to get even remotely caught up on some time-sensitive shit. Kuz you know this bitch doesn't do overtime unless pressed.
...Can I take another two days off to hang out with my sister? Kuz that was way more fun than work. But you know, I like living indoors and providing a better life for my cat. Plus now Suzy has, like, a job now too, man.
I've been putting off this home appraisal thing where they seriously majorly over-appraised our house, but you know, wine. Plus they made a mistake and they're sending out new ones. But I'm not sure if we were included in that. I don't understand adulty appraisal-type things and taxes! Merp.
I get emojis on my new phone and they are pretty fun. Soon I'll be like mom and send only-emoji texts. Decipher that, bitches!
You betcha I put the Pinterest and Instagram apps on my phone, though. Also Twitter, because it's mostly annoying but it's my window to goob's life. If only I could get snapchat and then I'd really be connected.
All of those major work changes my bosses have been hinting at lately are starting to happen. They're actually interviewing and hiring for some new/related positions. I'm still guarded and waiting to see what really happens.
Working out has completely and totally FAILED since Dad came to visit. But my pants kind fit now so... back to lacking motivation.
My top hits channel has taken a ballad-y tone and now I'm not pumped anymore. Shower time!
I'm home along drinking by myself with the pop hits music channel on tv. Fuck yeah, it feels like a free-time Saturday! On a Monday! So you know what you get?? A drunk blog full of rambles and curse words and italics and a few typos! Yeah!
I danced to Uptown Funk with the cat and the dog for a bit. It was great. Pumpkin is disgruntled and used to it. Andy wasn't quite sure what to think but she got all excited.
Spent a good part of my commute home trying to think of WHAT my skin could be reacting to. It's spread to around my mouth, which doesn't make me look like a nasty diseased whore or anything. Good thing I'm training tons of people face-to-face every day during this rash-fest. And good thing I have plenty of time to take off work to go back to the doctor! You know I'm fucking busy when I don't take time off to handle a facial rash that seems to be spreading.
Seriously, I would not have missed it for the apocalypse but taking two days off work to go see Goob meant I had to stay late at work to get even remotely caught up on some time-sensitive shit. Kuz you know this bitch doesn't do overtime unless pressed.
...Can I take another two days off to hang out with my sister? Kuz that was way more fun than work. But you know, I like living indoors and providing a better life for my cat. Plus now Suzy has, like, a job now too, man.
I've been putting off this home appraisal thing where they seriously majorly over-appraised our house, but you know, wine. Plus they made a mistake and they're sending out new ones. But I'm not sure if we were included in that. I don't understand adulty appraisal-type things and taxes! Merp.
I get emojis on my new phone and they are pretty fun. Soon I'll be like mom and send only-emoji texts. Decipher that, bitches!
You betcha I put the Pinterest and Instagram apps on my phone, though. Also Twitter, because it's mostly annoying but it's my window to goob's life. If only I could get snapchat and then I'd really be connected.
All of those major work changes my bosses have been hinting at lately are starting to happen. They're actually interviewing and hiring for some new/related positions. I'm still guarded and waiting to see what really happens.
Working out has completely and totally FAILED since Dad came to visit. But my pants kind fit now so... back to lacking motivation.
My top hits channel has taken a ballad-y tone and now I'm not pumped anymore. Shower time!
16 May 2015
other things of note
Dad visited for about a week and a half. It was good to see him. I couldn't take any time off of work because of everything going on, but I did get a morning off.
He convinced me to get a new phone. A Galaxy S5. It's like a real smart phone. Trying to customize/ figure everything out. While I love knowing my old phone in and out, I gotta move on to bigger and better phones/things.
I haven't spent any real time with Chris since the beginning of the month. He had finals, I spent my evenings with Dad, then he left to go work out of town. When he comes back he'll start working nights temporarily and I realistically probably won't really see him until June. Not ideal and I miss him, but what can you really do?
On today's list:
clean the dog hair and sand out of my car
Home Depot- curtain rod, keys copied, paint sample (the last room!)
Hobby Lobby- for fun
Aldi- groceries
Laundry, wine, repeat.
He convinced me to get a new phone. A Galaxy S5. It's like a real smart phone. Trying to customize/ figure everything out. While I love knowing my old phone in and out, I gotta move on to bigger and better phones/things.
I haven't spent any real time with Chris since the beginning of the month. He had finals, I spent my evenings with Dad, then he left to go work out of town. When he comes back he'll start working nights temporarily and I realistically probably won't really see him until June. Not ideal and I miss him, but what can you really do?
On today's list:
clean the dog hair and sand out of my car
Home Depot- curtain rod, keys copied, paint sample (the last room!)
Hobby Lobby- for fun
Aldi- groceries
Laundry, wine, repeat.
15 May 2015
another scientist in the family
This weekend my sweet little baby sister graduated from college.
I'm so fucking proud of her. It's a long hard road and all the various things that accompany graduation are quite stressful, including the huge milestone of becoming an "adult," and the pending previously elusive phenomenon known as "free time." Not to mention the added pressure of getting a job, collecting a paycheck, and paying off student loans. Rather than elating, it's mostly exhausting.
I remember my graduation, and how tumultuous it was. It's not simply a joyful, "Hey everybody, I graduated!" but more of a frantic culmination of exams and projects and a whirlwind of emotions and booze and coffee. I forgot all of that, since I've been comfortably settled into my post-graduation life for some time now. It's funny how life changes and you're so overwhelmed but then everything settles down and you look back and the big things at that time aren't so big anymore. They're just part of the process.
I see Suzy going through some of the same things I went through, and while I had plenty of advice, had to live through it to really understand any of it.
The biggest thing I learned after graduating was that my decisions were not as important as I thought they were. I thought that if I made the wrong decision, it would affect my life forever. I was poised at a turning point in my life and the decisions I made regarding career paths and living situations and relationships would pave the way for the rest of my life.
Not so much. Aside from birthing a child, no decision has that much weight. Pretty much with everything, I learned to go with my gut and roll with the punches and take it one thing at a time. I can always change my mind, and situations will most definitely change and you know what? When things change, I change with them. I adapt. Yes, a decision I made 5 years ago affects me, but not in the huge way that I thought it would. Even if it was the "wrong" decision. Hindsight, man. I stressed out so hard over so many things that I didn't need to. I'll look back in 5 years and think the same thing about the things I stress about about now.
P.S. Jumping into the San Marcos river is apparently a tradition after graduation. I haven't figured out all of the settings on my new phone, so I got a few blurry snapshots. And then we partied into the wee hours of the morning, which included snap chats, bottles of wine in purses, potential fights, and involving strangers in several Biz Markie sing-alongs. Gotta love family time, man.
I can't believe what a strong, beautiful person she has become. I'm very excited to see where her life takes her.
I'm so fucking proud of her. It's a long hard road and all the various things that accompany graduation are quite stressful, including the huge milestone of becoming an "adult," and the pending previously elusive phenomenon known as "free time." Not to mention the added pressure of getting a job, collecting a paycheck, and paying off student loans. Rather than elating, it's mostly exhausting.
I remember my graduation, and how tumultuous it was. It's not simply a joyful, "Hey everybody, I graduated!" but more of a frantic culmination of exams and projects and a whirlwind of emotions and booze and coffee. I forgot all of that, since I've been comfortably settled into my post-graduation life for some time now. It's funny how life changes and you're so overwhelmed but then everything settles down and you look back and the big things at that time aren't so big anymore. They're just part of the process.
I see Suzy going through some of the same things I went through, and while I had plenty of advice, had to live through it to really understand any of it.
The biggest thing I learned after graduating was that my decisions were not as important as I thought they were. I thought that if I made the wrong decision, it would affect my life forever. I was poised at a turning point in my life and the decisions I made regarding career paths and living situations and relationships would pave the way for the rest of my life.
Not so much. Aside from birthing a child, no decision has that much weight. Pretty much with everything, I learned to go with my gut and roll with the punches and take it one thing at a time. I can always change my mind, and situations will most definitely change and you know what? When things change, I change with them. I adapt. Yes, a decision I made 5 years ago affects me, but not in the huge way that I thought it would. Even if it was the "wrong" decision. Hindsight, man. I stressed out so hard over so many things that I didn't need to. I'll look back in 5 years and think the same thing about the things I stress about about now.
P.S. Jumping into the San Marcos river is apparently a tradition after graduation. I haven't figured out all of the settings on my new phone, so I got a few blurry snapshots. And then we partied into the wee hours of the morning, which included snap chats, bottles of wine in purses, potential fights, and involving strangers in several Biz Markie sing-alongs. Gotta love family time, man.
I can't believe what a strong, beautiful person she has become. I'm very excited to see where her life takes her.
01 May 2015
reflections
Friday night. Thank GOD. This week was a bitch and it's not about to get any better any time soon. Trying to schedule training for 250+ nurses is like trying to herd cats. The sheer amount of emails is astounding.
Plus a new LIS system that needs to be built and tested and the pace is excruciatingly slow, but I've learned that the snail's pace is expected at this institution. Is it all large institutions? Or just mine?
Plus coworker is having a baby and there's NO TIME to get anything done because short-staffed. But job security.
Mentally considering a second job on the weekends for obvious cash-flow reasons. But re-considering for sanity reasons.
Back on the cleaning OCD train. I think the emergence of massive dog hair has triggered it-- MASSIVE dog hair. Oh. My. God. Roomba is stuffed full at the end of every day's cleaning and the floor is filled up with dog hair every morning again. The morning sun shines right through the window and highlights the dog hair on the floor. Thanking GOD for Roomba every single day.
Plus husband has completely and totally stopped even attempting to clean up after himself. Is it too much to ask? Pick up your dishes. Put them in the sink. Every time. Seriously. Not a joke.
Face rash is weirdly spreading/worse/better, depending on the area.
Some days my thinking is more rational than others. Simply put, it's due to a lack of trust, but what is in the past is in the past... or is it? My mind changes at any given moment. Even if my worst fears come true, it's not like the decision is mine to make AT ALL so I kinda have to let it go and stop stressing about it. Right.
I have kept true to my declarations for exercise this week. Even after I missed one day because of after-work plans, I exercised the next day, so I'm pretty proud of myself. I've been sore every day, too, which makes me feel like I'm sapped of energy but I really want to be strong.
Dinner was leftover edamame and rice and red wine. Oddly incredibly satisfying.
In the back of my mind I wonder if my coffee and red wine consumption is staining my teeth. But they're all janky anyway so I suppose the whiteness doesn't really matter.
P.S. The first book hit the spot, but the second and third Ember books suck. Really bad. I'm over it.
Plus a new LIS system that needs to be built and tested and the pace is excruciatingly slow, but I've learned that the snail's pace is expected at this institution. Is it all large institutions? Or just mine?
Plus coworker is having a baby and there's NO TIME to get anything done because short-staffed. But job security.
Mentally considering a second job on the weekends for obvious cash-flow reasons. But re-considering for sanity reasons.
Back on the cleaning OCD train. I think the emergence of massive dog hair has triggered it-- MASSIVE dog hair. Oh. My. God. Roomba is stuffed full at the end of every day's cleaning and the floor is filled up with dog hair every morning again. The morning sun shines right through the window and highlights the dog hair on the floor. Thanking GOD for Roomba every single day.
Plus husband has completely and totally stopped even attempting to clean up after himself. Is it too much to ask? Pick up your dishes. Put them in the sink. Every time. Seriously. Not a joke.
Face rash is weirdly spreading/worse/better, depending on the area.
Some days my thinking is more rational than others. Simply put, it's due to a lack of trust, but what is in the past is in the past... or is it? My mind changes at any given moment. Even if my worst fears come true, it's not like the decision is mine to make AT ALL so I kinda have to let it go and stop stressing about it. Right.
I have kept true to my declarations for exercise this week. Even after I missed one day because of after-work plans, I exercised the next day, so I'm pretty proud of myself. I've been sore every day, too, which makes me feel like I'm sapped of energy but I really want to be strong.
Dinner was leftover edamame and rice and red wine. Oddly incredibly satisfying.
In the back of my mind I wonder if my coffee and red wine consumption is staining my teeth. But they're all janky anyway so I suppose the whiteness doesn't really matter.
P.S. The first book hit the spot, but the second and third Ember books suck. Really bad. I'm over it.
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