fishing

We had some firsts today.

Today, I learned how to clean a flounder. Because FG caught a flounder. Then, we ordered a new filet knife because you know what's difficult? Trying to filet a flounder with a dull knife. I managed.

You know what else? It's very weird that fish can flop after you've started to cut into them. It's unnerving and I felt bad because I second-guessed that I had killed it properly. Still not sure I did that right. I hope the next time that doesn't happen.

It felt good to catch and prepare our dinner. 

Especially when our grocery bill has gotten so high.

hi/high

Sittin' on the couch at the river with a huge glass of wine and Punk next to me and I'm so very happy.

Life is busy, but life is so, so good. 

I have everything I ever wanted, and I'm enjoying every second of it.

FG got laid off last week but to be honest his job was getting so toxic and I am certain that this is one of those blessings in disguise. Manifesting a job with a better work life balance and lots of money. :)

In the meantime, he has lots of free time to hang out with me, and he's in a much better mood now that he's not carrying so much work stress. Plus I've got a to-do list a mile long with his name on it and he's checking things off every day.

It's also made it easier to spend more time at the river. In fact, we brought Punk here a while ago and we haven't spent enough time at "home" to justify bringing her back so she's been kickin' it at the river with us. I love having her here instead of sitting alone in an empty house. She's done lots of exploring but isn't a huge fan of the water and keeps her distance.

Did I mention that I pinch myself every day that I wake up, pour myself a cup of coffee, and sit outside on the swing watching the sun rise with the breeze and the birds chirping and the fish jumping out of the water, and the hummingbirds buzzing around? Because it's truly a dream. 

I know life is full of ups and downs, and right now this is clearly a high point. Let's see how long we can stay here, shall we?

whew

Today I think I will make a 3rd cup of coffee (decaf bc I like myself) and enjoy it with a cupcake.

I have been very into small indulgences lately. Taking the moments of peace where I can get them. A nice stretch, a mud mask, a tiny nap... etc.

This summer flew by in a blur of juggling work and houses. It was so damn hot and we worked really hard, and now much of the work is done and I'm looking forward to a little bit of calm. 

I keep using that phrase.

The hummingbirds have arrived! I counted 6 this morning. They are so much fun to watch.

We are about to go on vacation to Mexico and I'm SO ready for it. There is a walmart near the resort so I can get a few groceries. I'm still not ready to trust the restaurants after the last glutening.

When we come back I suppose it will be time to switch into fall mode. I believe I heard that pumpkin spice is here, but it's so hard to get into the mood when it's still hot outside. Give me that first cool morning and then I'll be happily busting out the scarecrows.

On a slightly deeper note, here's something I've noticed: I've gotten very good at choosing what to care about. I'm not sure if this is due to years of cultivating my own thoughts, or age = acceptance, or simply lacking energy and brain power to devote to dumb shit.

This is especially noted when it comes to self-consciousness. I simply have stopped caring what other people think of me, and it's AWESOME. I have let go of hating certain parts of my body, I rarely worry if people like me, and I'm just ME. My body is what it is, my personality is what it is, and there is no point in stressing over it. 

I guess I got tired of going through life worried that someone won't like my outfit or will critique my big crooked tooth, or will think that my jokes aren't funny, etc. 

Instead of devoting brain waves to those types of thoughts, I've found myself focusing on the nicer things that come with everyday experiences. And it's really easy. I'm so happy that I got to this point in my life.

The secret to cleaning glass shower doors

I found it. 

The secret to cleaning glass shower doors aka the 2nd most annoying chore in the world.

Glass shower doors suck. Not only do they always leak, but cleaning them is a nightmare. 

I hate HATE trying to clean hard water deposits off of glass shower doors. To the point where when I had them, I would clean them, then shower in the other bathroom so they wouldn't get dirty again. To the point where it was a deal breaker when we were looking at vacation houses. I have tried (almost) every product out there to clean glass shower doors and was never very happy with the results.

Tell me why I wound up with glass shower doors and VERY hard well water with this house. (Ironically, this house is full of deal-breakers but I do love it)

I remember when we first looked at the house, I noted how clean the shower doors were and wondered... HOW? 

When we moved in, I found something curious: the previous owner left a box of these sitting under the bathroom sink. I wondered why he had such a heavy-duty product in the bathroom, but the guy did some weird stuff so I tucked the information into the back of my brain, ignored them, and left them there.

After we moved in I procrastinated cleaning the shower doors for about a month and by then they looked so bad that I had to do something. So I tried a bunch of stuff that I knew wouldn't work, just to get the majority of the scum off. 

Fast forward to a couple weeks later and the shower doors were, again, disgusting. At that point I was so fed up. I remembered the curious box under the sink and decided to give them a try. I was afraid they would scratch the glass so I did not scrub, just lightly wiped them over the wet doors. 

Y'ALL. Y'ALL! 

These are it! I didn't even scrub and they took the majority of those blasted hard water spots. I couldn't believe that after YEARS and trying SO MANY PRODUCTS that these humble little pads did the trick. My life is CHANGED.

I can't wait to try these little miracles to clean other things.

Double meaning

Look what I made!

I got my inspiration from this pin that I pinned a long time ago in the original Lake House board:

Sure, I could have ordered a poster for $30, but where's the fun in that??

I made it using old fence boards and craft paint so I spent nada, and I now have a pretty cool piece of art to hang above the bed at the river.

hey I'm tired

Dude. Apparently it's too much for me to manage one household and establish another at the same time. We've been spending every weekend at the river, trying to get things in order, and during the week we're so busy that we can barely figure out what to eat for dinner.

I have been working nonstop. Between actual work and projects at home and the river, I haven't had a moment's rest. Well, not if you count the alternating afternoon power nap or iced coffee to get me through the rest of the day. I'm stretched pretty thin lately.

I need a relaxing day where I don't do any work or host- just laze around and read magazines and do a craft and take naps. So I looked at my calendar, hoping to schedule it on the weekend or take a PTO day, and I'm looking at August before I can catch a break. Oh. Okay.

I'm so tired that I told FG to call the house cleaners. This is a big deal. He used to use them a lot but I do a better job than they do and I enjoy cleaning, so we haven't called them in a long time.

I'm at the point where I don't have the time or the energy and the house is a freaking mess and it's stressing me out. So they came today while we tackled approximately 1,000 projects that we've been ignoring at home while focusing on the river house. And you know what? It's not perfect but it's clean enough. I'm noticing clean things that I didn't have to do: There's no cat hair on the lamp shade on my desk! Nothing sticks to my bare feet as I walk around the house! They even cleaned under the couches, which I would never do. Well worth the money. I'm so grateful.

In the meantime FG and I (and the cat) are covered in sawdust but we put thin strips on the new fence between every picket so it has privacy and I can garden naked if I want (and I do), and the flower beds are actually going in, yay!

And the bedsheets are clean and the bed was magically made while I shoveled dirt and picked up stray nails and cigarette butts in the backyard in the 100+ heat.

Tomorrow we pick back up on the projects bright and early, but because of the insane heat we decided to take a mid-day break and I get to go see my sister and parents. I'm embracing these mini-breaks where I can.

Also, I mentioned before that FG and I have been snipping at each other a lot lately, and it's started to put a strain on our relationship. I'm trying to nip this in the bud and have really tried to maintain a positive attitude and treat him with more kindness than usual, especially when tensions start to get high. 

And it's working! It turns out, when the cycle of crabiness is broken, it's broken. 

...thank goodness.

oh hey it's june

Two days after my last post, we looked at a house on the river, put in an offer (lots of $ over asking), and after a LOT of drama, we closed in 13 days (to keep a decent interest rate). Whew.

But Woo River House! I love it. I want to be there all the time. It's beautiful. It's been a lot of work so far, but the major stuff is almost done and then the ratio of work: relaxing should be a little better.

Probably due to the amount of stress in the last month, I've found myself more cranky lately. FG and I have definitely been on edge, in general and towards each other. Great, we buy a house together and NOW we start not getting along.
A big one lately is that his smoking has really been bothering me. Not that it's my business but it gets on my nerves, for many reasons. Currently attempting a relationship reset. Sex is usually a good place to start- we generally bicker when it's been a while...

Pumpkin has tolerated her new pain meds very well. A few times I've wondered whether it's time to put her down, but she bounces back and I change my mind. Some days are just rough when you're old.

It's May.

Ok! *cracks knuckles*

Where were we?

Oh yes. I moved past my anti-social stage. It was glorious to hide out for a while but I'm ready to socialize again. Once I get some free time. Weekdays are tiring and weekends fill up so fast.

I was using that natural deodorant but I started to dislike the wetness from occasional sweating. So I layered on an unscented antiperspirant before applying the same deodorant. You know what? I smelled! There's something about antiperspirant that makes my sweat smell bad. So I'm back to using just the deodorant and dealing with occasional (non-smelly) sweatiness.

The lake house search continues. In fact, it has evolved. We are currently looking at an area that's on the way to the beach, along a river, so we have that fresh water view and amenities, but if we want to go to the beach it's an easy option. The market was super slow for a while, but it seems to be picking up again.

Still getting hives on my arms & legs but not as frequent. The doctor was not much help (shocking), but I've narrowed it down to a few triggers.

Going to take a self defense class. I want to be able to kick someone's ass if I need to.

I've been avoiding corn (see two topics above), so in place of tortilla chips I tried bean chips. Dude. They are so good. I mean, I love beans in practically every form, and these are no exception. I'll take ALL THE BEANS please.

That's all for now. Got a busy week ahead of me so y'all have a good one.

socially

I have spent the majority of this week alone. 

Am I lonely yet? Nope. 

Do I want to socialize yet? Nope. 

I'm perfectly happy with all this me time. I did go visit customers a few days, so it's not like I didn't have any human interaction.

This week I've also been eating whatever I want and drinking a lot of wine. I like this new softness in my body but I've gotten to the point where I'm feeling gross and sluggish and ready to shift in a healthier direction. More veggies, less desserts. I know FG feels the same way so maybe this time he'll be on board. I'm hoping that the time change will motivate us to go on evening walks or MAYBE even go to the gym. I'll believe it when I see it, but summer is coming and sweaty fat rolls are motivating.

I've been watching a lot more tv this week. There's a show on Netflix about vacation rentals that has my wanterlust FLARING. I'm pinning all of the places they go because they all look so amazing. I may be anti social but I'm ready to start traveling again.  

"Our" lake house still hasn't closed yet... and it should have. I'm not hoping that the sale falls through because that's bad karma, but if it does, we're ready to snatch it up. I still feel like that's our house. 

it's only tuesday

First order of business. FG is on Day 3 of a cruise and at first I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I used to live alone and I loved it! What did I do?? (Psst. I drank a lot more than I do now)

So far I have spring cleaned the house, including windows, ceiling fans, floors, and baseboards. I've done all the laundry, including rugs, throw blankets, dog beds, and pillows.

I've also started painting my desk and have moved my office into FG's office in the meantime. I feel like Ron Burgundy working from that huge desk with 3 monitors, 2 keyboards, and several mice.

My taxes are done, I baked a bunch, exhausted social media, watched some tv, and should probably schedule some work stuff for the rest of the week.

I do miss FG and his company and I will be happy when he is home...

But, I do enjoy being able to fart at will, cooking only when I feel like it, having control over the remote. and snuggling with Pumpkin at night. She is so much more calm during the day when she's not locked up at night.

I already knew that I would hate a cruise, but that has been confirmed. FG said that you can feel the boat moving, and the dining options are plentiful and gluten-ful. Not exactly my cup of tea on either account. 

Happy to be on dry land with my own kitchen, embracing the solitude. After feeling so burnt out socially, maybe a week of me time will set me straight.

Oh! This morning I was asked out on a date. A guy who used to be a customer, then worked for us, but went back to being a customer, texted me asking me out to dinner. Obviously not going to happen, but it's always nice when the ego gets boosted like that. *still got it*

Chair makeover

I finally got around to updating this chair. (Fun fact, I still have and use all of the items I bought that day. Except the oil can.)

The fabric had worn and it was looking a little gross and shabby, so I started slowly taking it apart. I took a ton of pictures of small details as I took it apart, so that I would have that as a reference for when I put it back together. It was basically staples and glue, but there were several times where I went back and checked the pictures to make sure I had things positioned properly.

I couldn't re-use anything because the foam had dry-rotted and basically disintegrated as I pulled it off. Messy and gross. I oiled the springs so now it doesn't squeak when I sit down, and I painted it a glossy black.

I upgraded to a much thicker foam for the seat, and found some fun fabric. For the trim I was going to use matching double cording, but then I saw the fun braided kind and I like the way it looks a lot. Here it is now:

I love it. Of course now that the chair has been updated, my desk looks shabby...

quickie

I am so annoyed that the A/C is on. Ugh, so it begins.

We just finished season 2 of Love is Blind and I normally hate tv shows like that, but it's SO GOOD. Plot twists everywhere!

I have been so socially drained lately. I have a few theories, but I'm not entirely sure why I'm feeling so burnt out. Choosing to listen to myself and not schedule anything over the next few weeks.

Watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Such a good one. Why can't I be invited to a party where I get to "frost myself?"

Just got wind of a humongous project with work that will make this summer super busy and most likely miserable. Officially not worried about work being slow anymore.

oh yeah it's Valentine's Day

Welp. That "happy belly" phase didn't last very long. I got a few weeks of glorious eating before food didn't sit right again. It coincided with trying a different brand of digestive enzymes and they did NOT do the trick. I switched back, but since then it's been iffy. Back to reality. It's okay. I haven't eaten a salad in a long time and my body was bound to bitch about it.

Speaking of my body revolting, the itchy skin scenario has also flared and as a result of the scratching I look like a crackhead. I plan to beg the dermatologist for anything that will calm the beast. And, since I'll be there, ask about further lasering the spots off my face.

This weekend I trimmed the rose bushes and cleared all the dead plants out of the flower beds. It was a lot of work but now it looks so clean and bare and ready for some more flowers. I always get excited about that. 

Leadership at work has outlined a plan for us to have a better work/life balance and part of that plan involves encouraging us to take all of our PTO this year (we all often lose hours at the end of the year). I've been kind of wanting a girls trip... and also work has been really slow so we could all use a better balance in the other direction. Example: I didn't get out of my pjs today. Hm.

This morning I cut the strawberries into hearts and this evening I cut the carrots in the salad into hearts and FG did not notice either one. Haha. I hate the idea of making a big deal out of Valentine's day in the traditional way, but I love the idea of celebrating love all around. So while I actively reject flowers and chocolates today, I am lucky enough to enjoy them, and other random acts of schmoop, randomly all the time.

I'm pretty used to my cup being filled on a daily basis. Seriously, tell me I'm pretty every day and do things like put air in my tires, and thank me for making dinner every night, and every damn day is Valentine's day. 

hump day

It was a long day. 

It was a good day, but a long day. Lots of standing, walking, and numbers.

I had a good dinner and now I'm full and so tired that I don't even want to finish my wine.

Working in northern Louisiana, in a hotel that's decent enough but the shower pressure is so low that I skipped it last night in favor of a sink whore bath.

It's really dry here, too. Even with the travel humidifier next to the bed, I've been waking up with dry nostrils and eyes. 

I'm always happy to travel for work, but sometimes the comforts of home can't be beat.

Started my period, my hip is sore, my head hurts, I'm itchy, and all signs point towards going to bed early. I don't want to wake up at 4am, though, so I'm powering through for at least another hour.

Turning a flat sheet into a bedskirt

Have you priced bed skirts lately? I was finding it difficult to find a bed skirt to fit an 18-inch tall California King frame. I'm not paying $100 just to hide the crap under the bed.

Fortunately, I'm resourceful. I found a flat sheet in the right size (for $20) and here's how I tailored it:

First of all, IRON the sheet. It will look so much nicer. Wrinkles don't fall out over time, no matter how much you try to tell yourself that they will. 

Next, drape the sheet over the bed frame, wrong-side up. Line everything up where you want it. Mine happened to be the perfect size so that all the edges lined up with the floor.

On each corner, pull the bottom corner of the sheet out and pin the sides of the sheet together along the leg of the frame. Make sure the bottom edges line up.

Trim the excess, leaving a few inches of fabric to work with.

Remove the sheet from the bed frame. One at a time, lay each corner flat. Mark where the top and bottom pins are with a pencil. Move the pins over and use a ruler to line up with the marks. Draw a line, to mark where the pins were. Baste along the line. 

(Since the initial measurements were eyeballed, I felt more comfortable basting first. If you're confident in your pinning abilities, go for it with a regular stitch.)

Put the bed skirt back on the bed and, if necessary, make adjustments. Once you're happy with the fit, take it back off and sew using a regular stitch. Trim the excess fabric, then use a zig zag stitch along the raw edges to prevent fraying. Turn the corners right side out and press with a hot steamy iron.

I also added 4 ties (ribbon I had on hand) to the top of the sheet, so that it could be tied to the head of the frame to help keep it in place.

Look at how nice those corners look.

(I still needed to adjust that one corner when I snapped the picture.)

Stick the mattress back on the bed, adjust if it shifted, and you're done.

wild saturday

Sitting next to FG on the couch munching on a snack plate and drinking wine while he watches football.

Today was perfect hiking weather. Did we go hiking? No. We completed a few tasks on the to-do lists and I spent much of the day battling one of those damn headaches that makes me useless. The damn heater spews all that dry air and it fries my sinuses. Gotta bust out the humidifier. 

The bedroom transition is moving along. We have looked at approximately 100 bedroom sets at 7 different stores and didn't love any of them. Then we decided that we don't need to be spending $5000 on bedroom furniture while we are trying to buy a lake house. So the new plan is to update the bed (the '70's porno bed is GONE), get an additional dresser on a budget, and upgrade to a matching set later on. So far I found a headboard, frame, and bedskirt for less than $200.

FG just asked if I was blogging about the good loving I got last night. LOL. I told him I don't generally blog about that.

Little baby Olivia was born this week and I've been doing my best to respect my brother and sister-in-law's space, but I'm going to need to snuggle that baby soon. She's so tiny and Emma's reaction to her baby sister is the cutest damn thing.

Starting to feel itchy but I'm trying not to take benadryl so often bc of the dementia-related risks that Suzy pointed out. The dermatologist recommended this lotion that smells like old people (or like icy hot) but works pretty well. I have also found that when it gets cold and dry, if I don't shower my skin feels better. Something about the hot water? But I can only go so long without a shower... 

belly, floors, lake, clothes

I feel like I've eaten SO MUCH FOOD lately. 

My stomach has been tolerating everything I eat and it's awesome. I wonder how long this bout of normalcy will last? I feel so nourished and soft and happy. People really take it for granted when their digestive system simply digests food without complaint.

Also my period was 4 days late this month. Normally it's on a very regular, 28-day schedule and in the past I would have freaked out, but since I got my tubes removed, it's no big deal. I love that peace of mind.

A friend of mine told me that instead of sweeping or vacuuming his floors, he uses a leaf blower and blows all the pet hair and dirt out the front door. I tried it today. Sure, it blows all the stuff out from under the couch, but it's very hard to direct the flow. Everything blew up into the air and while some of it made it outside the door, I think half of it is now on every surface in this house. Now I have to freaking DUST! My other least-favorite chore! I won't be trying that again. The 3 roombas will just have to do.

We don't have any trips planned. Weird, right? FG is going on a cruise but I refuse to be trapped on a floating cesspool. Ever. (You will never find me on a cruise).

The current lack of traveling works out okay because I'd rather spend my weekends looking at lake houses. The perfect house got away from us, and we were crushed because it had everything we wanted and we really thought that was OUR house. Man, it was hard to lose it. It had original hardwood floors and an incredible view and it was just so good. That's okay though because there will be something else that is just as good. Everything happens for a reason, right?

I started taking benadryl at night again. It seems to help with my itchy arms and it helps with my sinuses too. FG thinks it's creepy that I don't wake up when he comes to bed and kisses me goodnight, but I'm perfectly happy to sleep like a rock.

Work is still really slow. Again, I'm getting a little stir crazy but I'm also choosing to embrace it, because I know I'll be slammed again at some point.

I bought 10 pairs of jeans online and returned all of them. I know that high rise pants are the style right now, but that is NOT a good look for gals with no butts. Even the mid-rise styles didn't work for me. Not only are they unflattering, I don't like the feel of the material over my entire belly. I'd prefer them to hit at my hip bones, but apparently I need to wait for lower rise styles to come back into fashion and buy that shit up. Buying pants sucks.

I think I'm going to make some peanut butter cookies. Because right now, I can eat them and they won't fuck me up. Cheers.

Mascara review

A few months ago I wanted to try something new so I asked for mascara recommendations. I picked the 4 most suggested ones and tried them out.

Overall, all of them looked very similar once they were on. They all washed off completely with my normal facial cleanser, so the big difference between them all was application and wear. 

For consistency in the experiment, all of them were regular formula black mascara. I did not wear eyeshadow, and did not curl my lashes.

All ratings are out of 5 stars.

1. Maybelline Sky High

Brush type: Thin, hard spiky brush. 

Application: 4.5 stars. The skinny brush made it easy to get mascara on all lashes, including the inner and outer corners, without making a mess. The formula goes on thick and clumpy but combs out surprisingly easy.

Wear: 5 stars. No noticeable smearing at the end of the day.

2. Too Faced Better than Sex

Brush type: Big brush.

Application: 4 stars. The bulky brush made it hard to get corner lashes without making a mess. The formula goes on smooth and any clumps were easy to brush out. My lashes felt soft and feathery.

Wear: 4 stars. Some days there was smudging on the undereye area.

3. Elf Big Mood

Brush Type: Big uneven brush.

Application: 3 stars. The brush size and shape made it difficult to get corner lashes without making a mess. Mascara tended to glob on the tip of the brush when it came out of the tube. The formula goes on clumpy and it was difficult to brush out clumps.

Wear: 3.5 stars. Smudged a little bit on the undereye area.

4. Loreal Telescopic

Brush type: Thin, hard spiky brush.

Application: 3 stars. The skinny brush makes it easy to apply to corner lashes. The formula goes on thick and I spent a long time trying to brush out clumps. It made my lashes feel stiff.

Wear: 3.5 stars. Smudged a little bit on the undereye area.

Greetings from 2022

I tapped out last night at around 10:45. I was feeling crummy already + the champagne I was drinking gave me a stomach ache. I was briefly woken up by fireworks going off like crazy at midnight.

Sitting on the couch drinking tea endlessly because that's what you're supposed to do when you're sick. Watching a Doctor Who marathon. Earlier, FG walked by and announced that he didn't care for sci-fi. Then he made fun of the Ood. Still dumbstruck by that exchange.

I asked him to come up with a three-word affirmation for this year. After the cold front comes through tomorrow I plan to open up the house, sage, and set some intentions. His mom likes to call that stuff "woo woo" stuff and he is always a good sport when it comes to the "woo woo" stuff. The words he chose were health, happiness, and prosperity. Interesting. 

Ashley asked me what resolutions I have. Not really feeling resolutions this year.

I should come up with some things I'd like to accomplish but, you know, there's not much I'd change right now. I've been really happy. Guess I'll continue with the periodic mini goals.