stress!

ok. so.

Yesterday was my interview. It was very cool touring all of the labs and hearing more about the program.

The thing is... They only accept 4 people. When I heard that my heart kinda fell.
I interviewed with two different people, and one person sounded more enthusiastic than the other one... so, I dunno. We'll see. I say no hopes are up, but I really like the sound of their program. I have an interview for Hospital A next week, and their program is a little different than the other hospital's.

When I was being interviewed, I realized that I really do need a backup plan. If I don't get accepted then I'll just keep taking classes towards a bio degree, then try again next year. Cal 2 and Genetics Lab are classes I SEVERELY don't want to take, but if it comes down to it, what choice do I have? I have to meet with my advisor and see what's going on with that- a JOY in itself...

Which brings up another point: I have to get my taxes done in order to fill out the federal form for financial aid. But I've been sub-contracted this whole year and this is a whole new ballpark as far as what that means tax-wise. I may be screwed.

On the plus side, pizza fusion (the GF pizza place) opened in Houston and Chris and I are going there tonight to stuff our faces.

bummin' around

I hope everyone had a fab Christmas. (I think "fab" is my new word.)

My day was good. I am bummed that it's quite humid and balmy outside instead of cold and fresh. Frank woke us all up at 6am, as usual, despite my pleadings to wait until 7 o'clock. Then we opened gifts. I always love watching people open the gifts I got them.

I got some great stuff as well. It was weird this year. I felt greedy expecting gifts, and a little bit guilty. I don't know why, as I over-spent on everyone's gifts as it was. *shrug*
The one "big gift" I did want this year was a CHI hair straightener. My mom even got me a pink sparkle one. Can I get a what what...

But after the morning greed was all done and over with, it was still way earlier than I'd normally even be awake. That's the thing about Christmas Day. Once the activities are over, there's really nothing to do but lay around because everything's closed. And A Christmas Story gets really old after the 3rd time around.

Looking at my calendar, I realized that Monday is my interview for the other hospital. Eek!

AND, I just checked my grades. Three As and 2 Bs.
Bitchin! I do believe that is Dean's List!

Going to go find something to do besides eat.

Merry Christmas

tick tock

Seren's graduation party was a blast. Everyone dressed up and looked FAB. She really knows how to throw a party.

The only glitch in my evening was the fact that Chris failed to show up. I was really looking forward to it, and I told him I'd like it if he went but wasn't going to force him to go. The last thing I wanted was to bring a sulking boyfriend to the party.

Before I left for the party, all dressed up, my mom took a picture and my dad asked me if Chris was picking me up. You know, like what a normal boyfriend would do. It made me sad, because he bails a lot on special occasions and I can't really count on him, time and time again.

Nevertheless, I have learned not to let his absences and inconsiderations spoil my evenings, and I did have a great time. I am just letting it sink in slowly that I do deserve much better from a relationship. Whether he steps up or someone else provides it, only time will tell.

skinny wiener

It's 4-something on a Friday afternoon and I'm sitting here drinking a glass of wine and eating deviled eggs. Life is good.

I spent the last couple of days at work helping Jackie prepare for Christmas. She got back in town less than a week ago and is trying to decorate and get stuff ready for the family she has coming in today. We put up trees, decorated them, wrapped and shipped gifts, etc. It was a nice change from sitting at the computer.

A while back my mom won 5 free personal trainer sessions and a 1-month free gym membership but she didn't want them and gave them to me. Today I went in and met my trainer, and he seems like a really cool guy. I got measured, weighed, and pinched, then we did a few exercises to determine my "range of motion." Basically that consisted of me getting on the treadmill, and then doing some machines that made me focus on muscles I'd never even thought about, much less worked out. He was really good, though, and I actually learned a lot today.

For instance, did you know that it's safe to lose 1-2 pounds a week? Any more than that and you're losing muscle weight, which is BAD because muscle raises metabolism. Low metabolism is not good for losing weight. And, you can lose up to .5 % of body fat a week. My "goal" he set is to do just that, but I seriously doubt that's going to happen... My goals don't really focus on percentages or pounds. I just want to get toned up and fit again. Maybe lose that tummy roll in the process.

I have my first "real" training session Monday so we'll see how much my ass hurts after that.

SKINNY WIENERS comes from this: Heavyweights, possibly the best movie ever.
(start it at around 3 minutes)

implication

Just because someone says "No offense, but..." doesn't make whatever follows okay to say.

Especially when it's how it's said that makes it particulary offensive. It wasn't what was actually said, but what was obviously implied.

I hate it when ignorant people make judgements and then follow through with an off-hand insult.

I'm not usually offended, but this remark struck me the wrong way and I had to bite my tongue and shake it off. It's probably because I don't particularly like this person. I have no reason not to like her, she just gives off shitty vibes to me.

I wish I could shed my non-confrontational habits and tell more people to fuck off.

stuff

I am bummed to report that my brother's attempt at installing the new router has left me internet-less. I have to jack my mom's computer to check my email the old fashioned way, logging into gmail instead of having my emails pop happily onto my desktop in Outlook. And the only person I know who can fix it is in College Station because he can't tow his trailer safely in this kind of weather. Besides being internet-less, I am running dangerously low on snuggles!

Right now I'm watching it snow. It's not much, but it's always exciting to get snow here in Houston. One year it snowed on Christmas Eve, and that was really cool.

I've decided not to take my cell biology final. I have a B in the course right now. The only way to make an A in the class is to totally ace the final, and I honestly don't see myself doing that. So, I am donesky for this semester.

I got an invite for an interview at the other hospital's CLS program, but the people who schedule their interviews before Dec 19 are picked first. My interview is Dec 29. BALLS. I told the receptionist to call me if someone cancels, but I feel bummed out about that.

I also won a free month at the gym by my house, and 5 free personal trainer sessions. Sweeet. It's good, too, because I've been getting a little chub around my middle.

Well, CA dad's calling so I'll talk to him for a while.

Deuce.

whew

I am TIRED.
Tired but still wound up.
I hate that post-test combination.

I -think- I did well enough on my tests to skip final exams in all of my classes. We shall see!
I had some luck today. To study for analytical, our prof posts previous tests and we study from those. My study group also had a copy of a different test from someone who took it a while back. After going through both of them, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of the material.

Imagine my GLEE when the test we were given was EXACTLY the same one we'd been studying. Not the one he posted, but the one from the friend. Same questions, same answers, everything.

As I breezed through it, I started to feel guilty.
But there was no way we could have known he'd use the previous year's test again, and we had studied the concepts and actually knew how to do the problems. It's not like we just memorized the answers.

I figured this would only happen once in a lifetime and it was a bit of good karma.

If I did well on cell bio, this means that my semester is over, except for a lame-ass lab report due Wednesday.

I would love to skip work tomorrow and lay around but, gotta do it!

*a bit of a bummer- the lady from the other hospital called me today and said she needs my rec letters from my profs. They haven't sent them in yet! They were supposed to... so now I have to deal with that. GR!

twenty four

So, another birthday has come and gone. It was actually a great day. The weather was great, and I had a great hair day.

I woke up, ate some cereal and had some coffee, then got ready to head to the mall.
Yes, the mall. But it was Sunday and it was right when it opened and everyone was still at church. We even would up leaving right as it was gettin busy, so we missed it all. It was a breeze.

We went to Dillard's and Macy's and my mom, me, Ash and Suzy went on a bra-shopping bonanza. I found my size in a "designer" section, -but- I found my size and I bought two bras: One beige and one black.

I did some research to double-check my size, and I read that the support is supposed to come from the band, not the straps. So you get the smallest band you can (and it's comfortable), and hook it on the last size so as they get old and stretch you can still make it smaller. Makes sense to me.

These bras feel amazing. I noticed when I took it off after wearing it all day that there were no red strap marks on my shoulders. I'm never buying the wrong size again!

After the mall we went home and I made my birthday cheesecake and took a nap.

I had a few close friends over for pizza and cake, and it was real laid-back and nice.

The only thing about it is, Chris didn't come. About an hour before, he called me. He was in one of his "moods" and didn't feel like socializing, and it really hurt my feelings. I was super disappointed and got mad instead of being understanding, because I'd mentioned it several times beforehand how much I wanted him there. It seems like he bails at the last minute a lot when it's important to me that he be there.

Nevertheless, it was fun having a few close friends there. I felt loved and special. :o)

Chris and I ended up talking last night for a couple hours, and I just don't know what's going to happen with that. Kinda puts a damper on things.
One day at a time, I guess.

This week I have three tests, one quiz and a lab report. I already turned in a paper today. So, it will be busy, but if I do well enough to skip finals this will be my last week of school.

creepy crawlies

I'd like to think that I don't overreact. In fact, few things send me into a screaming fit that requires immediate attention. With the exception of roaches.

Today I walked into my room, looked at the floor, and this is what followed.

"OH MY GOD!!"
DAD!!!
OH MY GOD!
THAT THING IS HUGE!!
DADD!!!!"

He happened to be standing outside my door and was trying the doorknob, but it was locked and that thing was in-between us. That thing was the biggest freaking spider I've ever seen, with the exception of the tarantula my neighbor had once. All of the other spiders were put to SHAME by this beast. This was the grand daddy of all big ass spiders that have been living in my kitchen.

When he finally did reach my room, even he had to admit that it was, in fact, huge. And he's been killing bugs in people's houses for years.

It was so huge that he didn't even want to kill it.

He kept asking for a cup so he could put it outside before it crawled under the cabinet. I kept yelling for him to kill it.

What happened? It crawled under the cabinet. I don't see how it even freaking FIT under the cabinet.

My pleas for copious amounts of poison to be sprayed under the cabinet were met with various excuses:

"I bet it's been sitting there eating roaches."
"It doesn't even build webs, it just sits there and eats stuff on the floor."
"I know it's not poisonous. It won't bite you."
"It's more scared of you than you are scared of it."
"It didn't get that big by being stupid. It won't come back out."

All very, very reassuring.



*UPDATE*

Oh man.

Just as I was wrapping this up, my dad is outside giving the garbage men beer.

We always ask if they'd like some water, especially in the summer time, but this time they jokingly said, "How about a beer?"

Next thing you know, my dad is running two beers out for them.

Then you know what my mom said?

"They know we're drinkers. They take our trash out."

No other words, man. Just laughter.

future

It's official.

My future is in someone else's hands. The forms are filled out, the letters are all stamped, sealed, and ready to be sent tomorrow. The only thing left is to re-send my updated transcripts after this semester is over, and then... wait.

I was talking to my friend Anthony who is also applying, and he asked me my back up plan if I don't get in to either school.

Um, back up plan?

Let me say that again.

Back up plan?

There is no back up plan. This is what I want to do. The last howevermany years have been leading up to this.

I'm qualified. I know I am. I know I'll kick ass at this. I just hope it was conveyed through my applications.

He got me kinda freaked out. I thought I'd feel relieved when it was done but instead I feel anxious.
I guess I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.

Wish me luck and send good "pick jen" vibes to the Hospital A and other hospital CLS people!

zombies, food

Today was a good day. Long, but good. I even got p-izz-aid.

My boss took me to lunch today for my birthday, and I thought that was super nice of him. He even told me not to clock out, because it was a "business lunch."

And you know what I noticed? He has two different colored eyes. One's greyish and one's brown. I've known the guy for about a year and I never noticed that. I guess you don't really look at someone's eyes until you're sitting across the table from them. Well, I don't anyway.
It reminds me of that zombie movie where the kid with different colored eyes is immune to the zombie virus or whatever. When zombies take over, I'm high-tailing it to work, fo sho.

After work I ran to Fedex, then I went over to Tony's for a pre-Thanksgiving hang out. We made dinner and drank some wine. It was nice to chill.

Then I came home to tons of gluten free goodies that my mom baked. It really touched me that all of the traditional goodies were converted to gluten free. My mom really makes an effort to make me feel included.

I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

boobies

There is nothing like an unsupportive bra to ruin my mood.

What happened to all of my supportive bras? They're old and stretched out and not supportive anymore. They still look pretty, though. What deceit! I've got about 10 in my drawer that I don't wear anymore because they're useless.

And how much does a new bra cost? I can't just run to Walmart and get one for $10. They start at $40 and work their way up for a decent bra that doesn't leave me pulling and hoisting all day. And, it is so difficult to find my true size. I have to settle for the next compromise size. Otherwise I'd have to get them custom made. Read: $$$ (By the way, that's going to be a birthday/ Christmas gift to myself this year.)

I can't wait to become rich (or at least not broke) and I'm gunna have like 100 bras, just to make up for all these years of crappy bras.

Speaking of bras, take a look at this. Wow!
Even a 5 million dollar bra like that one doesn't look very supportive. Can you imagine running in that? Psh.

anti-soda and routine

I have recently discovered that carbonated beverages give me terrible headaches. The last half-dozen or so that I've drank have given me immediate headaches. No more sodas for me! I don't drink them that often anyway so it's no big deal.

I am in a place right now where things don't suck, but they aren't super wonderful either. I feel like I'm just here. You know that quote up there, sometimes I sit and think, sometimes I just sit? Well, this is one of those "just sitting" blocks in my life. Nothing exciting, no profound thoughts, just a get-through-life kind of attitude.

I feel dull, but not depressed. I'm sure it's the crappy un-changing routine of school that's got me this way. There's not much wriggle room for spontaneity. I always get this way when things get too routine.

On that note, I am getting things done, slowly but surely. Applications are moving along, and they'd better be; they're due by the end of the month.

My patience is back to normal, but that's not saying much, now is it? haha.

Things with Chris are better. He's getting settled into his own routine after his recent life- upheaval, which gives him extra time for me. That makes me happy. He's been working a lot and many things are still in boxes, and I'm DYING to organize his apartment. But I have to exercise self-control and let him do his thing. After all, it is HIS apartment, not mine.

Let's get crackin' on this ridiculous busy-work psychology paper, as it's due the day after my birthday and I really don't want to spend my birthday working on a paper that I hate.

stuff

I never want to hear the word Dictyostelium again. I spent three days working on that darn paper, the majority of the time trying to find acceptable research. It's done- finally.

Other things are not done, including the applications I wanted to get sent out by the end of this week. Stupid internet and printer problems, and I kept forgetting to print them out at school with all this school stuff to do.

Oh yeah- it's already been one year since I was diagnosed. Horray for me!

past blast-ness

I got an apology message today. I had completely forgotten about it until I was reminded of the past significance of today's date. November 19 used to be an anniversary, and if things had kept going the way they were going, I'd probably be married right now.

Oy. So glad that didn't happen. It's amazing how things can change so much, including yourself.

I'm fighting a headache and gotta do some research. These next few weeks of school are going to be a bitch.

motivation

I have decided that my mood is not going to improve until I get the stuff done that is always in the back of my mind. Bothering me, interfering with my sleep, etc. It's affecting aspects of my life that it shouldn't be.

Tomorrow I plan on being super productive, because procrastination is only dragging this funk out.

My motivation? Tonight I hung out w/ Dayna and Scott. Although I had fun and it was super nice to get out of the house and away from this desk full of schoolwork, I felt like I wasn't enjoying it as much as I could have, because of everything weighing me down. Enough is enough, and it's time to get shit done and off my mind.

And I've had time to think about my gripes regarding Chris and put things into perspective. I still stand by what I said about being a little selfish and needing some support. I do it for him, and I expect the same in return.
But, he has been working a LOT lately and he is exhausted. When I think about how things used to be, I can see he's making major efforts. So, I guess I just have to pick my battles and have some patience. These crappy times will pass and there's no use taking my frustrations out on him.
As much as I complain about the stupid crap, the bottom line is he makes me freaking happy, 98% of the time, and I do see improvements where things used to suck.

That's all for now.

funky monkey

There are so many times that I look back at what I've written and not been satisfied with it.

I've stopped writing when I'm upset so I don't have to go back and retract my ideas once I've calmed down.

I have been in a foul mood lately. Like that little black cloud is over my head, or more like deep down inside- I don't know which.

There is so much going on right now that I can't make sense of it all and pinpoint what is causing this mood. I'm going to try some free-writing to see what pops out.

Med Tech school applications. I've been putting them off. I don't know why. They're due soon.

There are times that I regret starting this relationship with Chris again. It's an odd thing. There are far more good times than bad, but it's the bad that seem stand out the most. Or maybe it's like that psychological phenomenon. You remember the good when you're happy, and the bad when you're unhappy. I forget the term. Mood-related memory or something like that. Either way, it has been very hard to be understanding and patient with him lately. Call me selfish but I've got a lot going on and I wish he was there for me more. I'm just asking for a little comfort.

My relationship with my mom has been a little tense lately. I absolutely respect and try to make her happy, because I like to see her happy. But for some reason I feel myself being impatient with her and taking things out on her, in small ways. She doesn't deserve that and it makes me feel like shit.

I've been treating myself like shit as well. I haven't been eating right and have no motivation to exercise. I know if I started again I'd feel better, like I always do, but I have no ambition.

I haven't been sleeping well. I wake up several times a night and have tense dreams. This has made me wake up tired lately, which makes the whole day drag.

I haven't spent much time with friends lately either, outside of school or the occasional hour or so at the teahouse. School has got to take priority.

I can see why I'm in such a funk, but it doesn't seem like it should be having this much of an affect on my overall mood.

complain

The internet at mi casa has been lame lately.

I have been in a grouchy mood. Not because of the internet. Well, partly. It's partly because of a lot of stuff. The shitty weather, the depressing DARKNESS that falls at like 530, being broke, etc etc.

I have also been suffering from a serious lack of snuggles. Like serious. I can't remember the last time I got snuggles. Way before Chris moved, that's for sure. Even though he's moved closer, I see him less. GAY. Although it is nice to go hang out for a few hours without having to drive all that way.

I'm stressed out over the never-ending pile of schoolwork and all of the other things in the back of my mind that have to be done. And what do I do when I'm stressed out? I reach for comfort.

Chris has been stressed out over other stuff, and what does he do when he's stressed out? He wants to be alone. Do you see an inconsistency here that maybe has to do with my lack of snuggles? Yeah. GAY.

Not that I'm all that pissed about it. I'm actually pretty used to it, and it's one of the smaller factors contributing to my grouchiness, but I'm just complaining.

I'm totally PMSing and being a fat tonight eating junk food.

Oh yeah, and I got a new toothbrush today. It's just one of those things I never think about but I think you're supposed to get one every few months. If you haven't gotten a new toothbrush in a while, get one. I never realized how funky my mouth was feeling b/c of an old toothbrush until I used my new one. Squeaky clean today!

.

I wish I was ready.

listen to your body

I always pay attention to what my body is telling me.

Little clues, neurons firing, signals relayed to my brain. Sometimes subtle, sometimes in-your-face.

With my finicky stomach, I especially pay attention to what my body wants to eat. I always eat what I feel like eating; even if it's living off of ice cream and rice for 2 days. I figure if I'm craving it, I'm craving it for a reason. Everyone always asks if I'm pregnant, but I've always been this way.

For instance, I have been craving rice and ice cream the past couple days. This morning I woke up wanting ice cream, but figured I should eat something with some kind of nutrition. So I made eggs, and they weren't appetizing at all. After I ate them, my stomach hurt. I ate some ice cream, and it calmed down.

And I don't always crave junk food. Sometimes it's pumpkin. Sometimes it's tuna. Sometimes it's pasta salads, apples, or soups. But the bottom line is I always feel best when I listen to what my stomach is telling me- and eat accordingly.

I don't know why I second-guess myself.

princess & the pea

There are some things in life that just can't be matched.

Take, for instance, a fresh clean bed. I don't just mean clean sheets. I mean the real deal. I washed the blanket, fluffed and washed the feather comforter, and even fluffed the pillows. I was in a puffy cloud of fabric softner smells and soft jersey knit sheets- all free of cat hair. Pair that with a chilly night and I was in bed hog heaven.

Few things can compare to that.

tiredness, retro mixing bowls, and gifts

It's at that point in the semester when I wake up tired every morning.

As soon I finish one thing there's something else to take care of. It's exhausting, and I'm starting to do things half-assed *cough*psychology*cough* just so they're done and over with.

My last chemistry lab is next week, which will be one less thing to worry about. It's bittersweet. It took a lot of time but it's the class I enjoyed the most. I'd much rather be done with cell bio...

On the plus side, my mom and I went garage sale-ing and I got an awesome orange daisy retro mixing bowl and a thing to make salad dressing in.

I've been trying to start my Christmas shopping but I haven't had much luck finding stuff. Today I found Ashley's gift. Mom was out shopping and called me about it. It's awesome, I want it for myself.
STAY OUT OF MY CLOSET ASHLEY!!!

quote of the day

My mom, while painting.

"Whew! That's strong! I'm taking a trip and not leaving the farm, I tell you what!"

freaking never a dull moment over here, haha!

Nov 4

Happy Election Day, hope you guys exercised your right and voted.

This is my second time to vote in a presidential election.

I, for one, am disappointed in the outcome. Again.

Yes, I am a Democrat, but I voted for McCain.

Nooo I'm not racist.

I just think Obama is way too liberal for me. On a lot of issues, which I will not go into now. I think that McCain was too conservative for me on a few issues, but I voted on the side of caution.

I am more interested in how this presidential term will pan out than any other one before. I don't know if it's because I'm older and realizing how this will affect me, as an adult, or because it is such a historical, controversial election.

But, the US voters have spoken. We'll see where the next four years takes us!

party ANimal

Everyone's asking about my halloween weekend.
What was I?
I was the best girlfriend ever.

I headed over to Chris' at about 11 yesterday and helped him pack and move with his parents and a couple of friends. They got all the heavy stuff first and packed it in his race trailer. At about 7 they left, and it was just us to move the rest. We got it all boxed and packed up, and the thought of lugging more heavy boxes down 3 flights of stairs was not making us happy campers. I never realized how much shit he has.

Then, Chris had a genius idea. We went out looking to steal a shopping cart, because there's a small elevator at one end of the complex. We found one right away on the side of the road, and noisily walked it down the corridors. That saved us many trips up and down. And we even had enough energy to carry the 8-ft tall bookcase down winding flights of stairs. Yes, we are badasses.

Then, at about 1 or so, right as we're about to leave for the new apartment, he discovers his battery is dead. Lovely! Right at that time, this guy he met randomly who lives in the complex pulls in and gives him a jump start. They talk about cars and stuff for a while with their hoods up as I try not to fall asleep standing there, and finally we head out.

We get there and unload stuff as quietly as possible in a zombie-like state. Thank GOD he's on the 1st floor.

While we were outside, we heard a clatter and Chris said, "Oh great. Not again." Because there was always loud noises and stuff at the old place. Turns out, it was a raccoon in the dumpster. Then, he pointed out the sound of a hoot owl and the small grove of trees on the other side of the fence from his patio. He had such a satisfied look about him. I think Mr. redneck country man has found his home, haha.

I dug out the bedsheets and made his mattress up, because I know he had been up for way longer than I'd been, and he carried the heavy stuff to boot. Then I drove home at about 4 to sleep in my comfy bed. Sore, tired, and dirty. But it was a good sore, tired, and dirty.

Overall, it took 17 hours of straight packing and loading. I think we took a 20 minute break for lunch and that's it.

Today... is studying.

I'm such a party animal.

overload

I elected to stay in and study tonight. I won't get much done tomorrow with the moving and all that.
Next week is swamped- my busiest week... ever?

We have on the agenda: 2 exams, 1 literature review, 2 pre-labs, 2 lab write-ups- 1 a formal paper, 1 quiz, and 1 outside-of-class biology experiment to perform. All in four days.

Anyway, I handed out candy tonight. We had some super cute kids. We ran out of candy so I started giving out instant hot chocolate packets and microwave popcorn. I even threw in a Jiffy Pop, haha.

Happy Halloween ya'll.

only thursday??

Hooo maaaan.
What a long effing day.

First of all, I got up at 8 on my day to sleep in a little to go help Chris look for apartments. Long story involving that. I'd go into it but it's not something you put on a public blog.

Anyway. That was super-frustrating at first, but turned out ok. He found place he likes and I like it too, because it's way closer to my house than his last apartment. So, just in the nick of time, he found an apartment. Whew.

So anway, apartment hunting took longer than I thought and at about 6:00 we get back to his place and I head to work. Because I still had to do the work I planned to do today. I stay there until 9, head home, and pour myself this delicious glass of wine. I made one of those instant noodle meals, but it was sub-par.

Tomorrow will consist of making sales calls for work, hopefully finishing that early, and helping Chris pack. Hopefully we will get enough done that I can go part-ay some for halloween.

Saturday I was hoping to go to the Renaissance Festival. We'll see how tomorrow goes!

I haven't drank in a while and this wine is making me sleepy.

voting, school and graham crackers

What a long freaking week . Wait-- it's only Wednesday?? Aye aye aye

I blew off some stress and brain drain by making graham crackers. They smell fantastic.

I voted today. On my way to school I saw one of the early voting places, and I was running early for once so I swung in and voted. It was quick- 5 minutes and I was out of there, making history.

I'm interested to see how this election turns out. A lot of people feel very strongly about their chosen candidate- moreso, it seems, than normal. Like I said, it will be a historical milestone no matter who wins. And then there are those who just don't know. I hope those people go vote anyway.

Well, this chunk of exams/ papers is over, but there is another one waiting just around the weekend. Guess I should get started and save myself from staying up till 2 am like I did last night.

The Moth

Since it has been gorgeously cool here, I've been leaving my door open at night when it gets that extra bite in the air. I know an open door means extra bugs, but it's worth it.

Last night I was working at my computer when I heard the buzzing of large wings. Fearing the worst, I turned around and prepared to run screaming from a flying roach. To my relief, it wasn't a roach, but a rather large moth, bouncing off the overhead light in the kitchen. In an effort to lure it out, I turned all my lights off and turned on the porch light. Of course, it just sat there.

I got a stick and tried to shoo it towards the door, but of course, it flew into the farthest corner away from the door. I called Luke in, for manly backup support, and I tried to shoo it away from the corner. It flew, I ducked and screamed, it hit Luke in the head, and disappeared. We tried to look for it, but gave up and decided it was just going to stay wherever it was.

Fast forward to about 4 o'clock this morning. I hear the buzzing of large wings through my sleepy haze. There is one of those paper globe lamps that hangs directly above my bed, and I heard it bouncing around in there. Terrified it would fall onto my head, I got up and took the lamp down. By that time it had moved on to the bathroom. I could hear it bouncing around in there.

Relieved that no moth would be falling on my head from the lamp, I went back to sleep.

Fast forward to about 5 o'clock. Pumpkin comes in, eats some food, drinks some water, and climbs up on the windowsill to take a bath, like always. I am halfway asleep and vaguely aware when she jumps up to go investigate the noises that have resumed in the bathroom. For about 5 minutes all I hear is beating wings and the klink of pumpkin's rabies tag on her collar. Then, the tumbleweed of noises travels onto the rug next to my bed, where the sound of claws on carpet joins in.

I peek one eye open and she's frantically playing with the thing. Hiding behind a shoe, then pouncing. Munching a bit, then leaving it to lay there.

Well, that's the end of that.

ode to my boss

This week, work was extra fun.
I did little more than stuff envelopes, but the weather was hoodie-friendly and Jackie likes to keep the windows open.

Lee is out of town and Jackie and I bonded. And, does she like to talk! She is the most adorable lady, talking about whatever comes up. Cheerful and yapping away; I love it.

While we work I usually have the radio on. Towards the end of the day Thursday she had put on some oldies music, so I turned mine off and was jammin to "sittin on the dock of the bay" and "can't buy me love."

Yesterday, she ran to the post office and I was starting to wonder where she was after she'd been gone an hour and a half. Well, she comes in with this large -gorgeous- framed oil painting and another framed picture. She'd seen an estate sale and dropped in!

That's one of the things I love about her. She loves decorating and antiquing. She constantly recycles the pieces she has with new ones from craigslist or yard/ estate sales and the salvation army. She really knows how to get a bargain.

They have so many neat pieces in their home. There's this old wooden icebox they have, the kind where you used to put the block of ice in the bottom. Neat old tables and desks, beautiful chests of drawers, all with tons of character. You name it, she's probably had it.

She's from a large family and has had 5 children herself, so we bond over the large family thing. And let me tell you, she does not look like she's had 5 kids! She's kept herself looking pretty darn good. I think Lee has 2 or 3 kids, so all together they've got lots of kids... all grown and out of the house, with a couple in college and 6 grandsons. She just treats me like one of her own.

Anyway, she's the sweetest lady and I'm really glad some random craigslist ad turned into something like this.

dynamics

My attitude is changing.

This is such a drastic change from what it used to be. I wonder what it means.

I'm kinda feeling Missy on this one. Without going into too much detail, since when is it mandatory that we put up with our partner's issues and "be there?" How much is too much and when do we draw the line? As long as it's balanced, and each person is there for each other, it's okay. But when it gets unbalanced... then what?

Not saying that things have been bad in that area lately; they've actually been very good. But it's something that I've thought about when it does get bad.

I find myself feeling relief instead of anxiety when I'm not invited to participate in his problems. It's more, "hey, I'm not going to trouble myself" instead of "why won't he tell me what's wrong?"

I know it has nothing to do with me when he gets overwhelmed by crap going on, and there is often nothing I can do about it. So, all that time I spent worrying and trying to help was pointless, and I feel a lot better when I simply don't worry about it. It feels a little selfish, but it leaves me with a better feeling than any other strategy I've tried.

This relationship has morphed from me wanting so much more than he was willing to give, to getting it tenfold, and recently things have cooled off a little. We are both busy, and haven't spent as much time together.

The thing about it is, though, I don't miss him as much as I used to when we wouldn't see each other often. I don't crave his presence as much.

Is this a bad thing?
Not necessarily.
I kind of like this "non-smothering" relationship. You know, the one where you don't spend all free time with your significant other and get lots of space to do your own thing.

I think that we have a stable enough "foundation" for us to be comfortable like this. This is not to say that we don't see each other at all- just not in the overkill pattern that relationships tend to fall into. I think time spent apart makes you appreciate the other person more.

That intimate connection you get with spending time with someone isn't as strong, and I think that's the way I like it. At least, for this point in my life anyway. I'm not looking or focusing on anything more than that right now.

I think I've found that balance between "too close" and "not close enough."
Not to leave on a bad note, but we all know how easily scales are tipped...

bees

This guy told me a story today about how his dad and uncle pulled down a tree with a beehive in it, blowtorched the bees, and took all the honeycomb. One of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time. Except I was sad they killed the bees. You're not supposed to kill honeybees!

happenin'

So the weekend I'm sick is the weekend the internet and cable goes out. At least I've gotten some homework done. I watched Beauty Shop with Queen Latifa last night. I love Queen Latifa.

Chronicling the sickness, last night the pain subsided, but came back with a vengeance on both sides early this morning. After sucking down more tea and painkillers, it's slowly faded and I'm feeling a little better. My tonsils are still looking pretty nasty though. My sisters looked at them and grossed out, lol.

Last night was Homecoming, and my sister Suzy looked absolutely beautiful. Here is one shot I got of her that I loved. Just gorgeous.


My brother Luke and his friends looked so handsome. They're trying to look cool in this picture by not smiling. What is it with boys and not smiling in pictures?

If you notice their ties, my brother's (on the left) is a piano tie, and the guy in the middle made his out of duct tape. I also heard my brother won a dance-off to Michael Jackson's Thriller. I never would have guessed my brother's got moves.

home remedies and clean digestives

Well, I still feel shitty. I hardly slept last night because every time I tried to swallow I would wince and wake myself up.

Today I was supposed to go shopping w/ Dayna, but I just don't have enough energy.

Since the doctors offices are all closed and I'm trying to avoid that anyway, I looked up some home remedies. Some were pretty bizarre and sounded like old-school magic potions. But some were ok.

-gargling with warm salt water (ickk, but it sorta helps)
-drinking tons of tea with honey
-eating nothing but fruit.

I have been wanting to go on one of those "detox" diets for a while now. I've just felt gross and bogged down and puffy and wanting to do some digestive system cleansing. But, with my schedule I can't go a whole day on nothing but liquids and fruits/ veggies. I would die.

Well, I'm sick, drinking tons of fluids anyway, don't have an appetite, and am doing nothing but laying around, this seems like a good time to try that.

...and bitch some more.

My. Throat. Effing. Hurts.

Lamesauce.

*update*

I know I'm a hypocondriac and paranoid, but I think it's tonsillitis. I did some research and it seems like that's what it is.

This blows.

free time

I accidentally woke up early today. I thought it was an hour later than it really was, and I glanced at my phone and thought: "that's not right." Well, it was. So now I am much more relaxed and have an hour to kill.

Still worrying about applications, but I talked to a couple people and I just gotta take the stress factor down a notch. I mean, it's not like there is much else I can do. I talked to a guy after class yesterday, who is also applying, and he's so chill about the whole thing it calmed me down a little.

Today is also the first day all week that I haven't felt exhausted. This past week I've just been feeling crappy. Not on the surface crappy, but as if I'm about to get sick and my body is fighting it hard. I have a sore throat today, but other than that I feel all right. We'll see how the day pans out.

I have a man-free weekend, but I am so broke again I can't do anything that involves money. If I'm smart I'll stay in and catch up on studying. But I know I'll end up laying around, hanging out and baking way too much.

And did I mention it's cool weather?? Not cool enough for a hoodie, which is how I define cold-weather happiness, but it's a breather.

AAHHH!!

I'm freaking out man.

I deliver my resume, personal statement and transcript to a professor tomorrow along with some forms and stamped envelopes for rec letters.

I emailed another professor who somewhat reluctantly agreed to write one, but he said he'd do it and required electronic copies of everyting. I just emailed him and I'll deliver stamped envelopes next week to his office. I hope he writes a good one.

I am nervous.

It's my own fault for not getting to know professors, but I hardly had time to attend class, much less suck up during office hours. I know I'm not the only college student who worked a lot and never got to know their professors, not to mention how hard it is to do that when you're in a class of over 500 people.

The only people I got to know were my lab TAs, but they're not allowed to write letters because they're only TAs. But, ironically, they're the ones who know exactly how I work in a lab- which is what I'm going to school for in the first place!

I just feel so wierd asking for letters from professors I've never bonded with. What if they email me back and tell me my personal statement and resume aren't good enough to write letters for? What if my GPA isn't high enough? What if... what if I'm not good enough??

I know I can get a good one from my boss, but he's not faculty. Will it count?

What am I going to do if I don't get into Med Tech school? How much of their decision do they base letters of rec on anyway?

Maybe I should focus on the fact that there's a shortage in the workforce and they need med techs right now. But I can't help but worry.

I'll be worrying until they're all sent, then it's out of my hands. And I want to wait until the end of this semester to send them so my GPA will be a little higher.

I'm totally freaking out man.

trendsetter

Oh yeah, just call me a trendsetter. After I got a neti pot, Missy decided to get one, and Chris also just got one. I'm going to try and get Luke to try it because he is the poster boy for allergy-prone. Me? I still love mine.

It's a little odd. When I use it regularly, like every morning, I have noticed a serious decrease in stomach upset. One thing my allergist told me when I went in was that the upset stomach could be caused not by a food allergy, but by an airborn allergen that creates postnasal drip, which causes the upset stomach.

By flushing out the postnasal crap and allergens and all that, I've reduced the potential offender and have been noticing a difference. And the best part? I don't have to take another (expensive!) pill or icky nasal spray every morning.

This is, of course, just a theory. And, as a scientist, I know that correlation does not denote causation, but either way I'm still reaping the benefits.

water water everywhere

This morning I was standing sleepily in front of my bathroom sink brushing my teeth when I noticed the rug was a little damp.

My first thought: Pumpkin peed. I bent down to smell it, and it was not pee. Whoo! Small victory over the day.

My second thought: It is probably still wet from when it rained real hard and the ceiling leaked the other day. (don't even get me started)

So the rug went up on the shower rod and I went on with my morning.

Ten minutes later, I'm washing dishes and my pj pants are suddenly wet. I look down, and there is a puddle on the floor. I know I haven't had my coffee yet, but I didn't spill any water.

I go change, then look in my bathroom, remembering the wet rug. The entire floor is covered in water. A quick check under the sink reveals a nice layer of hot sudsy water as well. Dammit.

I move into the office where dad is sitting with his cute reading glasses. "Daadddyyyyyy. The floor is covered in water."

I hate to tell him this because after the hurricane there was damage to the roof and water pipes that was a pain in his ass, but what else am I supposed to do?

He comes in, looks under the sink and amidst the cleaning supplies and mountains of grocery bags goes, "You jammed too much crap under here and the joint came undone."

Oops.

He screwed it back on (after a small lecture) and I went to cleaning the water from the floors.

The plus side? My bathroom floors are really clean from the hot soapy water, and I have been meaning to clean out under the kitchen sink anyway.

Happy Monday Morning Ya'll.

whine. bitch. repeat.

Dude.
This sucks.

I've been feeling nauseous at some point every day during the last week. I'm pretty darn sure it's not gluten, so what the heck is going on?

Needless to say, pepto bismol pills have been my friend lately.
And today I have a terrible headache which is also contributing to the tummy ishyness.

Oh wait? What's this? I'm going with Chris to some Korean restaurant for his friend's birthday tonight? Horray for unfamiliar food on an upset stomach at a restaurant where I have no idea what I can eat.

Not that I'm bitching about that. I think it will be fun. And, worse case scenario, I can be "that girl" who orders steamed rice with plain steamed vegetables. Which happens to be one of my favorites anyway.

But man, it would be SO NICE to be normal.

funk

The last week and a half have not been fun. School has taken a huge shit of assignments on my desk and I've had to shovel them off, one by one. I've been in a bad mood, stressed, anxious, worried, and all of the above. It's been a little overwhelming. I still can't shake that cocktail of bad feelings, even though the majority of the list is scratched off.

Last week I had my first ever recurring dream that continued where it left off the night before. I've heard people talk about that happening but it's never happened to me. I don't remember the subject of the dream but it made for a restless sleep and an uneasy feeling the next morning. I didn't like it at all and don't care to repeat it.

I dunno. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and feel refreshed.

creatures

Now let's talk about something horrifying and disgusting.

I got some water on the floor and some if it went under this baker's rack I have in the corner. I moved the baker's rack and, in the corner, there was a huge pile of turds. Okay, maybe not a huge pile. More like a smattering. But still. TURDS. Mouse, maybe?

So we all know my next reaction. A call to dad. He comes in, looks at them and says, "American Cockroach." Not just a roach. He knows the kind. By looking at its turds. Ugh.

At this point some major skeeves kick in. Roaches??!! Pooping??!! In the place where I live??!!

I haven't seen any roaches. Believe me; if I had, this place would have been poisoned like crazy. So they're either new or stealthy. He said they just moved in, probably after the hurricane. And, judging by the poop size, they were BIG. *shudder* He put some poison out and told me not to worry.

Worry? About what? Giant roaches leaving poop piles in corners? Nooo, neverrr.

I have the major heebie jeebies now.

P.S. I did clean up the turd pile. With copious amounts of lysol and my fancy purple nitrile gloves Chris got for me to wear in my labs.

Nasty.

errrghhh

Mom: Can I use your digital camera to take pictures of this water damage for the insurance?

Me: Sure, it's in my desk drawer.

Mom: Ok, do you have to wind the film or does it advance automatically?

Me: *silence*

This is coming from the same lady that wondered why you could not flip a cd over and listen to the other side, as you could with a record. Ah, this is why we all love her. Never a dull moment.

I have writer's block. I have to write two scientific papers that are due next week, as well as a personal statement so a prof can write a letter of recommendation. Oh, can't forget about the prelabs, out-of-class experiments and chem exam next week. All this, after the week I just had? Damn Ike, I knew this would happen. I am rapidly burning out.

Frankish is back! He came home today and he's here until Tuesday, I think. I was trying to get all my schoolwork done before he came so we could chill, but that's totally not going to happen.

Looking forward to dinner at Scott & Dayna's tonight. I'm bringing apple crisp, which I can't WAIT to start baking.

I am trying really hard not to be bothered by certain things going on that I can't do anything about.

hump day thoughts

- I hope I poop today.

- I am feeling that workout from yesterday and it feels goooood. Might give it another go today. As soon as this taco baby goes away.

- That idea that I had? Yeah, it was absurd for a reason. Won't be taking that route. Back to square one...

- School is nutso. Got one professor to agree to write a rec letter but I haven't had the time to get all the paperwork together yet.

- Still no work. It's been several weeks and I'm kinda getting broke but they've had a lot of chaos over there from the storm so I don't blame them. Rolling several ideas around in my head about that. Contemplating adding in something retail but hate the thought of the hours. Me? Ambitious? More like grab every lazy moment I can. I am not Missy, here. LOL

- Frank flies in Friday for a weekend visit- raise the roof ya'll.

- It's officially October so that means I can get rid of my taped up phone! (I think-- I hope so!)

work it babayyy

My chem lab let out at 130 today, a full 4 hours before my next class. (Btw, guess who got the highest grade on the quiz today?)

So, I waited around for a while, then decided I was tired of waiting around. The trade off for not going to class was that I had to work out and go over the chapter that was being covered today.

So I got home, grabbed one of Ashley's workout videos (something about a tummy toning dance party) and cranked down the AC. Holy crap man, those videos work you OUT! Especially when you're out of shape and not a fan of cardio. I was gasping for air and sucking down water, lol. I will definitely feel this tomorrow.

Then I noticed that my floor was really gross when it came time to do crunches. My mom fixed the vacuum so that it actually sucks instead of moving stuff around. Clean floors are awesome, and they usually fuel more cleaning, but I made myself stop so I would study and not be up late.

Yesterday evening me and Chris took a walk down Braes Bayou. It was such a gorgeous night and we got a good clip going. He even decided to jog a bit. I think the late exercise kept me up because I could not sleep last night. I will definitely sleep tonight.

I will leave with this: Why is it that cats will ignore you or watch you work out from a distance until you get down on the floor to do crunches or stretch, then they're laying all over you? Fur and sweat is a gross combination.

tugs

Hello, my name is Jennifer. And I am addicted to ice cream.

In other news, I've done a lot of not thinking about what to do to spice up my life. As in, I haven't worried much about it and am just kinda waiting for something to strike me. What's this? Patience? NO! ...Yes. Maybe? Not so much patience but not knowing what to do... so I do nothing?

Whatever it is, through this "not thinking about it" thing, the same thing has hit me over and over again. I haven't tried to force any ideas, but this is what my brain has presented.

I know exactly what I want.

Like deep down soul-craving want it.

The catch is: there's no way in hell I'm actually going to make it happen. At least not any time soon.

And, to make matters more confusing, I'm not ready to tell anyone about it yet. Because it's absurd. And huge. Life-changing like I said I wanted. And I don't know if people will support it. And I suppose I should let it stew for a while longer to make sure it's what I really want.

Yay for cryptic-ness because people read this blog now! haha

study candy

Yes, it's Saturday night and I'm studying. I spent all day lounging around with Chris after my study group was cancelled, so now I'm gettin' to it. Almost.

When I study, I like to munch. Usually Hot Tamales or Life Savers. Sometimes Skittles. Something small that doesn't fill me up so I can mindlessly pop them in my mouth.

On today's Study Candy list: Hot Tamales, Rolos, Starburst, White Peanut Butter Cups, Almond Snickers and 3 Musketeers. And a Milky Way Midnite for my mom.

It's the first time I've tried the White PB cups, and they're surprisingly good. I did forget the Life Savers though.

Does anyone else have any study rituals? I'd love to hear them.

do itttt

As of yesterday, my chem lab partner and I have the same grade in the class. And, awesomely enough, we have the two highest grades in the class. Which is good, because only the 2 or 3 top students get an A in the course, no matter what your grades are like. It kinda sucks that they curve "down." Usually it's the opposite. My plan is to keep this up. I want that A.

On the other hand, my cell bio lab is a joke. I dread Wednesday mornings. No one knows what's due when, or what we need to prepare. And I'm sure the TA is going to be all pissed off that no one knows what's going on, but he runs the class terribly and does not answer emails. I do not like him.

Especially when I ask a completely legitimate question about the theory of the lab, and he lets out a huge sigh as if it's such a huge chore for him to answer it. I swear once I saw him roll his eyes.

It's his job! It's what I am paying a hellofalotta money for. For him to teach me, not to make me feel stupid for wanting to learn.

And it's not just me, or an isolated instance. It's pretty consistent and a lot of people feel the same way I do. I can't wait to write this guy's evaluation.

save my life

Today I am going to write about Pepto Bismol pills.

If I was 636benjamin, this would the the Awesomosity for the Day. (Oh yeah, go vote on his poll!)

Back before I discovered these, and back in senior year of high school when my stomach started acting up, our little "dance team nurse" Jen Nguyen would offer me one of those chewable peptos to get me through practice. Despite the taste, I was amazed at how much less I wanted to hurl after eating one. They were magic!

Then it got real bad, and I forgot about pepto for years and instead downed bottles of Tums and Rolaids, which didn't really do much.

Then, I was in Walgreens one day (I do love that store) and I saw the pills. What? No goopy cold minty pink crap to drink when I'm already nauseous? No chalky chewable that gets stuck in my teeth? I just swallow and go? These have saved my life since that discovery a couple years ago and I don't leave home without them.

I just want to say, thank you, Pepto Bismol people.

wild night.

I had a dream last night that in the midst of studying and writing up labs, I missed a day.
In the dream I was suddenly in my lab, but didn't know how I got there. I had to turn in my half-written prelab and report, and I was pissed that even though I knew all the information, I hadn't written it down yet.

And to make things even wierder, my lab partner was not there, and was replaced by Brian. I remember he was wearing a yellow shirt. My TA was replaced by a buxom gym-teacher type lady who was interested in why, for some reason, my lab bench had moved to behind a wall and I couldn't watch her lecture. I don't know...

Then I got really hungry and remembered I had some cake in my bag. Even though it was regular cake, I shoved a piece in my mouth. Then someone (I can't remember who) shook their finger at me for eating it. Then I felt guilty.

Then, there was this truck that pulled up that had TONS of candy on it. The scene was almost like on the Vegas strip (or what I'd imagine it'd be.) There were lights everywhere, music, almost like a carnival. I circled around it, but the only candy you could reach from the ground was gross generic candy. The good chocolate and stuff was all in the middle.

And then, my dad was there and he said that while they were on vacation my mom died. We all reacted like it was no big deal, but in my dream the more it sunk in, the worse I felt. The lights flashing all kind of became surreal and mocking. Then I really regretted getting annoyed with her earlier this week for something stupid.

Then, I was back in my lab and everyone else's experiment was moving smoothly while I had screwed around with the truck full of candy and everything and hadn't even started. Meanwhile, neither my real lab partner nor the replacement Brian was there, so I contemplated going home and taking that grade as my drop grade. The whole time wondering how on earth I lost an entire day.

Then, I woke up and panicked for a minute about what day it was. Today is Sunday, right??

routine

I feel like my life has gotten too routine.
I've been on the same track for a while now. I'm restless.

I have the urge for a change. A big-ish one. Something that will change the rest of my life almost.

I won't be graduating for a while. That track is long and sluggish.
Can't do anything about that day-to-day drudge.

I like my job. I have been thinking about picking up an additional upbeat part-time job, though.

I don't really have the resources to move or anything, and besides I like living here.

I don't want to cut my hair. Or dye it. My appearance is not what I want to change.

It seems that I'm content with my life, but it has just become routine and dull. And I don't know what to do to spice it up.

A new hobby? party more? re-arrange my furniture?

I don't know. Something will strike me.

Ideas, anyone?

Neti Pots

Okay, so a little background info.

A few months ago I was in Walgreens and saw one of those neti pots sitting on the shelf. My reaction: eew gross. But Chris said his mom uses one and loves it. Then a few weeks after that Indigo Daisy wrote about hers and I thought there might be something to this thing.

Well, the day after the hurricane hit my throat started to hurt, then migrated up to my sinuses. What usually follows is a week of terrible pain and congestion, and amidst the chaos and no AC, the thought of going through that was too much. The last time this happened I was in so much pain and the doctor found nothing wrong. Off to Walgreens I went. And of course dragged Chris with me while I sat in the aisle and compared prices.

Now, if you google these things, and look up the images, you're going to see some people pouring crap in their noses. Ugh. The pots themselves look like they have hard-ons. I'm sorry, that's just what I see, lol.

Anyway, the first time I used it my brother and Chris were standing there watching because they were curious. I recommend NOT having an audience because it was really hard not to giggle and inhale saline water. Once you get the hang of it, it's a really strange feeling but it's not uncomfortable.

After I used it, I noticed that there was a whole lot less pain back there, and it really did help me breathe easier. I've used it since then, half a packet of the stuff you're supposed to use once a day, and I swear it's cut this sinus thing's normal duration in half.

I think another skeptic has been hooked...

Oh, and here's a video of the tree in our front yard being yanked down my my dad and his hillbilly friends lol

More Ike Aftermath

We have power here at my house! I was told it was a temporary fix since the circuit and stuff is really old and needs major repairs. But for now... I get to sit here at my desk and write this blog.

Here are some pics from the past few days:

We opened the door Saturday morning to this:

Trees down in our yard

Throughout the weekend all of our neighbors were outside and we all pitched in to help rake each others yards and the guys all had fun with the chainsaws.

When our neighbors got power back, a couple a few houses down made margaritas and we all hung out at our house. I have some pretty cool neighbors. Even though they've all been to the crawfish boil, I've never really conversed with them. Our other neighbors let us use their washing machine. We have others who shared ice. We shared food, beer and air conditioning from our window unit. There were tons of offers from friends to let us spend the night, use their internet and have a hot meal. We are truly blessed.

It seems that everyone helped each other out. In some parts of the neighborhood there were extension cords run across the street from people who had power to those who didn't.

Another thing I noticed was the people at grocery stores, restaurants and gas stations. Even though everywhere was packed, the workers and customers alike were friendly and helpful, not rude. It could have been much, much worse. I heard from Missy and read in the paper that even as far away as Illinois had flooding from the storm.

My dad is in Galveston right now trying to rescue a friend of a friend's elderly mother who is flooded in and trapped. They got on the island because they are certified First Responders. He called and said that it was really trashed down there.

It's really easy to take the simple things for granted. It will be a while until things are back to normal.

Ike Update

This post is provided by Missy's internet.

So, I had hoped to be able to provide up-to-the-minute details on the hurricane-ness, but the power went out Thursday night and still is not back on at my house.

The hurricane itself was pretty scary, though it did not hit our area as bad because it veered at the end. Still, the winds were terrible, the trees were swaying, and my neighborhood got a LOT of trees and fences down. Our house had two trees land on it, and I'll post pictures later. We spent a lot of time cleaning up and it looks like orderly chaos now since none of the debris has really been picked up.

We had a generator and our water was running, so we kept our fridge cold. Our stove is gas so we were able to cook. Gas stations have lines going around the block, and others are just plain out of gas. That is life here right now. There was an awesome cold front that is coming through that is making life way better!

A lot of our neighborhood has power now, and the street right next to ours had power the night after the storm, so it's kind of frustrating that ours isn't back on. There are scattered areas of town with power.

The thing is, though, I can bitch about not having power but Galveston and Bolivar and Freeport and all those areas got hit WAY bad. There are people who lost everything and we are lucky that we have a house with just a little roof damage. I can't imagine my home being demolished, whole neighborhoods being reduced to rubble. My heart goes out to them.

UH is open tomorrow, but the local schools are not open until the end of the week. I guess we'll see what happens in the next few days.

Ike

What have I been up to? Preparing for Ike.

We have cases and a 50-gallon drum of water in the backyard, tons of juice boxes and pitchers of water. Batteries, bug spray, food, snacks, trash bags, and a generator that can run an AC unit and a fridge. Candles, flashlights, gas in our cars, you name it and we got it. My mom went out a few days ago before the mad crazy rush to get everything. And our stove is gas so we can still heat stuff and cook if the power and water goes out. Lots of people in our neighborhood have their windows boarded, too. Oh, and of course, we have plenty of booze. Because during a hurricane, there's not much else to do but party.

Of course, Chris gets the urge to prepare last minute. Just like he goes Christmas shopping on Christmas eve, we were in Target last night to get food. Not even hurricane stuff, but groceries in general too. MAN, those shelves were cleaned out! And the gas stations either had lines or were out of gas. I guess a lot of people prepare at the last minute...

My relatives who live in other parts of the country are watching the news and getting freaked out. My great aunt is praying and lighting candles for us in church today. Guess it couldn't hurt!

And I am a little skeptical to get all hyped up and freak out, like everyone does for no reason, but that thing is pretty huge. Way bigger than most hurricanes that come our way. I was shocked when I finally took a look to see what the fuss was about. We will probably get flooding and power outages, and a few trees knocked down. As they say, we're preparing for the worst.

If I lived in Galveston or all of the other mandatory evacuation areas, I'd be out of there for SURE. They showed on the news some people who are staying. They are freaking NUTS.

Here's one of the images:














It's supposed to hit us tonight, but it's already looking stormy and cloudy. Cross your fingers the damage isn't too bad!

computers and gadgets

You know how I'm always talking about how I need to back up my files? I always back up my school files but I'm talking about pictures and stuff.

Well today Windows automatically dowloaded an update and needed to restart the computer. So I clicked ok, and it shut down... and did not start back up. It was just a black screen.

So I turned it off, then on again a couple times, with just the black screen coming up. The little flickering light on the side of the computer that tells you it's thinking wasn't even working. Shit. In the past I got a new hard drive for 80 bucks and everthing was fine, but at least it started up in safe mode. This... was nothing. Maybe it wasn't just a crashed hard drive but some major system failure.

So I turned it upside down and started it, to see if the little fan was spinning. After a minute it started spinning as usual and making the appropriate clicks and whirrs. I looked at the screen, and we had life!

What followed was a frenzy of flash drives and cd burning to transfer a copy of all important files off of the computer. I got it done, and I have no idea if it will start back up the next time I turn it off, or if that little blip was a sign that it's about to die soon. I just hope I didn't forget to transfer anything.

Tomorrow I'm going out and getting larger external hard drive, to back everything up every time I need to, all in one place instead of on random flash drives and cds.

Most importantly, though, I like this computer! I have all the settings just the way I like them, and re-customizing a new computer would be a PAIN.

We shall see!!!!

tired tuesdays

I am freaking tired. It wasn't a hard day, just long.

I sat in traffic today for more than half the way home because of an accident. Not just slow traffic, but "stop and go a few feet" traffic. The super annoying thing was that right before I was about to hit the spot where I could have gone a different way to avoid traffic altogether, the radio traffic report came on and it said all was clear. Less than 2 minutes later and 15 miles behind the actual accident, I was slowing down. Grr!

I miss my boyfriend. It's been a week since I've seen him and after a day like today snuggles would be the best thing ever.

Not looking forward to the annoying TA in my cell bio lab tomorrow. The experiment looks cool though. We shall see how that goes.

Ack, it's only Tuesday!...

PS. I hate it when people use the phrase "the one" when talking about a significant other. For instance, today someone told me, "My wife is awesome. She's the one."

First of all, no shit she's the one. You married her. I kinda assumed that.

Second of all, I think the reason I don't like it is because it's so overused, typical and cliche. That phrase carries so much baggage and implication. Let's deviate from the norm a little bit, people! Especially when it comes to something so individualized as love. Yeah, we all love but we all love differently. No one feels that same love for that same person quite the way you do. But for some reason everyone feels obligated to use the traditional cookie-cutter expressions of love.

That, and I hate hearing about people whom I don't know that well gushing over how in love they are. That is an extremely awkward position to be in unless you know the person well. Then it's not so bad.

For the record, I am never calling anyone "the one." Unless I say it with finger quotes.

perspective

Oh, how I love the wise advice I always get from Missy. I swear, she sees life through the eyes of a seasoned old woman but still looks like she should get carded for a lottery ticket. And her empathy is amazing. Of course, she's always been that way.

Thank goodness for that fateful day our sophomore year when she was sick eating cheerios on the sideline during dance team practice and I asked her if they were honey nut or regular.

Because, not only would I not have this sudden change in perspective, but I would also be out a lot of great memories, shenanigans, San Antonio experience, enchiladas and general Missy-ness.

So. About this change in perspective. It surprises me because I am usually a double-checker when it comes to making sure I'm being understanding. I see now that lately I've been too critical, too paranoid, and not confident enough.

--Which is even more of a shocker to me because I have never been like this. I do have my reasons, but I think it's time to let those reasons go. I'm only hindering myself and sabotoging what may come if I keep holding on to the past and being scared.

I think it's time to let go and trust him. Not just a little bit, but all the way. He shouldn't have to keep trying to redeem himself when he already has. I can't keep holding this over his head or things will never change.

Who needs a therapist when you have Missy? Her rates are way cheaper-- a latte or a cheese plate every now and then pays the bill!

note

Today was (un)officially Little Old Lady In Wheelchair day at the mall. I saw like 10. It was great.

I hope they went and got nice comfy white cotton panties and snug little socks like my mom wants when she's old.

TOTAL DOUCHEBAGGERY

You know, I'm a little pissed off.

Because I keep getting $93 bills from the gastroenterologist I saw a while back. Apparently my insurance didn't cover all of the $281 bill.

Now, normally I take responsibility for my bills. But I'm really freaking pissed off that I get a bill for $93 after that bullshit "appointment." On top of my $40 copay which I thought was a complete rip-off to begin with. Let me tell you about that appointment.

I get there, wait until 20 minutes after my appointment time until he sees me. Oh, wait. Until one of the nurses comes in, asks me some questions, and I sit there for a couple minutes until he comes in. He talks to me for, seriously, less than 5 minutes. I wanna say 3. He suggests an upper GI endoscopy and leaves. Doesn't even ask me any different questions from what the nurse asked me, which he had already read off of a piece of paper. Nothing genuine, nothing that even seemed like he wanted to make a patient feel like he gave a crap. My thoughts as I was walking out: "What a total douchebag."

And now I have to pay him $31 for each minute of his precious douchebag time.

Let it go to collections.

new

The sky was gorgeous when I was driving home today. One of those skies that you have to force yourself to pay attention to the road and not look up at the great sunset.

What a long day! I spent a lot of it with my lab partner in the library during the 4-hour break between lab and class. And what do I do when I get to know a new person? I analyze them.
I can tell he's one of those people that makes friends with people instantly. Just one of those personalities. I think I'll be able to work with him well because he knows how to act in a lab and actually get the procedure done right and accurately. So many lab partners I've had have NOT been like that. What a relief.

Finally got to talk things over with the man and I think I overreacted. Sort of. Some things I feel are justified but I do have to stop jumping to conclusions.

Either way, it's in the past and I feel good about it now. He = much hearting.

Gotta finish this pre-lab and then I'm off to BED.

i don't get it

Hey, I remember this feeling.

You know, the one I said I wouldn't put myself through ever again?

The one that put me through long, confused hours of heartache?

The calls that remain unreturned, the questions that were never answered.

The "say one thing, do the opposite" syndrome.

The overall feeling that somehow it's okay for him to act like this, and I need to be understanding.
Fuck that.

There is absolutely no excuse for this. It takes five minutes to pick up the phone and make someone feel like maybe they're not a piece of shit.

I knew this would happen again.

plusses and minuses

+ UH financial aid office rocks this semester. $ is here!

+ Went shopping and got 2 new tops, went to a new Kroger that has an enormous GF section and also got a VENUS FLY TRAP! (how cool) I hope I don't kill it. I don't have a name for it yet.


- Mouth HURTS. Must have eaten gluten and now I have an ulcer on my gum way in the back that's making the whole side of my face hurt.

+, - Pumpkin decided she likes to scratch at the shower caulk I re-did a while back, so I had to re-caulk in that corner because I saw more wormy things. But it's done now and I'm getting pretty efficient at that. Grr to the cat.

+ Chris updated my computer's defense systems and replaced my outdated ones, and these are supposed to be much better. He put in Firefox, too, and there are a couple things I don't like about it but I'm sure I'll adjust. I'm glad he knows something about computers kuz I sure don't.

- My ghetto phone is all rigged up and taped together because I have to wait until October for a free upgrade. One month, gotta hang in there.

+ I got my analytical chemistry book for $1 online. Sweeeeettttt

I'm going to go lay around now. Hope everyone has a fun Labor Day.
We all work hard at something, so enjoy your day off!

Fri to the day

This morning while I was eating breakfast I accidentally inhaled a bit of potato into back by my sinuses. I don't know how it happened. That kind of thing just happens without warning. Kind of like sharting. But it's very bothersome and I'm making all kinds of strange noises in an attempt to get it out. Ugh.

I, for one, am very ecstatic that it is Friday. This week has been SO LONG. I am most excited about sleeping in tomorrow.

I went to work yesterday and was pretty surprised that my bosses brought me back a gift from NY. I am now the proud ower of a cute blue tote bag with matching makeup bag (perfect size for a book bag, beach bag, you name it). They also threw in some flip flops and an "I <3 NY" T shirt.

FRIIDDAAAYYYY!!!!!

changes

I'm still beat from the extra burst of activity this week, and sore from trekking all over campus. The weekend can not get here fast enough.

My cell bio lab seems simple enough, but there is a lot of work involved for a simple 2-credit lab. Formal lab reports, two papers, 5 quizzes, yadda yadda. I can tell it will be annoying.

I wrote the president of UH an email asking about my financial aid, and to my surprise, I received two emails yesterday in response. One was from a lady telling me that things are just a little clogged up but to expect something, by the latest, at the end of the week. She gave me her number to call if I had any more questions.
Then I got another email from her co-worker, saying that he wasn't sure if she had replied, but had left for the afternoon and he wanted to make sure my issue had been addressed.

*pause*

This is the first time EVER that I have not had to sit on hold for 30 minutes, only to talk to someone rude who didn't want to help me. I did not have to wait in the line that snaked around the corner only for them to tell me there was nothing they could do. I got an actual response... which I didn't even expect. From two separate people making sure I knew what was going on?

I am liking this new president- a lot!

frickin' tired dude

Today was a good day. Long and REALLY HOT walking around campus, but good. Seriously though, it's hot out there.

My profs seem to have upgraded. They all seem like they give a crap about the course they're teaching instead of posting lecture notes online and reading them lifelessly during lecture. I'm pretty excited about that. My Polish analytical chem professor even told corny jokes and stories and metaphors to illustrate his points. And involved the class by asking questions and actually expecting answers. Finally.

Today during my psych lecture the new president of the university came and spoke to our class. She's going to do good things and I get good vibes off of her. She was talking about her goal of making our school one of the top tier schools, and how no other school in Texas is even close to us. We've already got two top schools in Texas: UT Austin and A&M. So, get ready for UH to be #3. Woo! A pretty official stamp on my diploma if it happens before I graduate.

My analytical chem lab is awesome. My TA speaks very good english (always a major plus) and seems really laid-back, but also very knowledgeable about the subject. I think he can teach us a lot besides the "do this and do that and this should happen." The class is only 12 students, compared to the usual 20-something, so we'll get a lot of extra 1-on-1 time. AND... *drum roll please* There are 3 other Med Tech majors in that lab. I've only met one other one in my whole college career! And this one chick is applying at the same time as me, so we kinda bonded over that. The only drawback is that we have to have lab partners, but mine's a cute boy [for the record, the boyfriend's cuter ;o)], and he seems pretty cool. I hope the three of us can form some kind of study group or something.

Serenity's in my cell bio class, which is awesome because we have always studied really well together, and we always motivate each other to get A's. I think this is my 3rd class with her. (genetics, biochem, and this.)

The drawbacks: my financial aid was scheduled to disburse the 25th, and it's not in my account yet, meaning I don't get $ to buy books. I guess I can use mom's credit card, but sometimes they give me crap for that and don't let me use it because our last names are different. And there was some sort of financial aid department fiasco and a bunch of people got fired so I dunno what's up with that. I hope they do some major changes because I've experienced nothing but rude people and no answers and all kinds of trouble with our financial aid office.

The only thing left to discover is cell bio lab. I hope that's good.

I need to sleep.

monday morning

Every time I pour a cup of coffee I look for coffee grounds floating in the bottom of the pot. When I don't see them, I consider it a small victory over the day. Sometimes they're there, sometimes they're not. Some days there are just a few and every once in a while there are a lot. I wonder if you can read coffee grounds the way they read tea leaves? I wonder what mine would say?

"This girl sucks at making coffee."

Haha, no matter, I drink it anyway. But it's just something that I do. Today was one of those days where all the coffee grounds stayed in the filter.

I couldn't sleep last night. Several things were on my mind. Trivial things, but when added up they formed into a very nice anti-sleep cyclone. I'm not in a very good mood today because of that. I'll see what happens today before I officially bitch.

I can't figure out what to eat for breakfast. I'm hungry but nothing sounds good. After a couple weeks of eating everything, it's back to the ole wandering appetite. My first class isn't until noon so I have a while to figure something out.

In the meantime this week I'll be stalking my student financials online to see when my financial aid is deposited into my account, because we have to manually go and request a refund before they'll mail us the difference check. I'll be all over that like white on rice.

life's good and boring

I have noticed that my blog entries are only insightful and thought-provoking when I go through a rough patch or something's bothering me. I haven't felt the need to write about something like that in quite a while.

Maybe I just went through another phase of self-reflection and learning the ways of the world and now is just the calm period between that phase and another one.

Because, to be honest, life has been pretty good and mellow lately. Nothing earth-shattering to ponder, no big life decisions, no massive amounts of stress. I got rid of the stressful job that I hated and traded it in for one that's a lot more laid-back. I'm on my last semester of required courses before med tech school, and I have most of the applications filled out and am just waiting on recommendation letters. I got more money for school which takes a huge load off of my mind. My entire summer has been full of relaxation and I'm ready for a new semester. Those medical bills are paid off, finally. Somehow the stars have aligned just right and things in the romantical area are way better than they've ever been. I finally feel like that pool of potential is being dipped into and it's every bit as great as I thought it'd be.

I mean, there are things that I have been thinking about and ideas that I've been toying around with, but only half-heartedly and I'm not really ready to discuss them. Although, I'm sure it will change soon. Life will take another turn that I didn't expect. Then I'll have stuff to deliberate and write about, haha.

But for now, I guess there's nothing else to do but enjoy the calm in the storm.
And I am most certainly enjoying it.

it's friday night?

Things have been pretty chill the last few days. My mom and I have done a lot of shopping since I still don't have to work till next week.

We got stuff to bring to school for lunches. Still looking for a way to streamline the "bringing food to school" thing.

Went to Office Max and got school supplies. I love me some brand-new spirals and pretty folders. And a new black ink cartridge for my printer so I can stop bumming off Luke's.

Victoria's Secret sends me tons of "free panty" coupons since I've gotten a credit card there. They've upgraded me to the next level of card, and they gave me a $10 gift card with it. So I gave the free panty to my mom and purchased her '5 for $25' undies, and I got my own '5 for $25' deal too. Except I had a coupon for a free ($24) makeup bag. Along with my gift card, I ended up getting a pretty awesome deal.

We left the mall in a great mood :o)

Anyways, like I said, things have been pretty chill. I think everyone's laying low because school's about to start. Chris is out having his man race weekend and everyone else either is sick, with their significant other, has other plans, or is just plain busy.

So it's me and my glass of boxed wine left over from Dayna's wedding, sex & the city reruns and illegally downloading music. [shhhhh]

Oh, and I've been watching My Name is Earl re-runs. That show cracks me up so much. It's so white trash and hilarious.

Probably my last care-free weekend for a while. Cheers!

moms and gay bars

Last night I'm hanging out over at Dayna's and I get a call from Ashley.

"I'm at a gay bar and you'll never guess who's with me."

"umm, I don't know."

"GUESS!"

"um, Mitchell?"

"NO... MOM!"

Ashley and Oscar took my mom out to a gay bar last night. And I just heard mom's story about how it was and it is HILARIOUS! Just her take on things and her opinions were so funny.

She thought the shots we take now are huge compared to the size of shots she used to take.
"No wonder people are dropping dead from drinking!"

She thought the bowl of condoms by the door was such a great idea and went up to the bartender and told him that. I'm sure he thought she was just adorable.

She wondered why everyone was half-naked and loved the drag queens.
"There was one that was ugly but the other one was really pretty. She/he had a nice perky ass." and "There was one half-naked stripper that seemed to be at all the bars, but maybe I was just that drunk."

Ahh, I love my mom.

CA Trip!

Well, I'm back from CA! And things look a little different here at blogger. No matter.

CA was FUN! The days were fun-filled. I think mostly because of the time change, I crashed into bed exhausted every night but woke up ready for more fun the next day.

When we flew in we had lunch at Pizza Fusion, right in the heart of the gay area of San Diego. What luck!! Our waiter was 'fabulous' and got excited right along with me about the gluten free pizza they served. They also had GF brownies, which I got 'to go' because I was stuffed on pizza. It was super nice to go out to a restaurant and get pizza without having to cook it myself. It was pricey, but well worth it. And, of course, I loved the atomosphere. We then headed out to the Oceanside pier that night and got to watch the people fishing. I wanted to fish but that's one thing we never got around to doing, since we were there such a short time.

the view from the pier

Friday we slept in, ran some errands and headed to the beach. We spent the evening BBQing at the beach with some of my dad's friends.

my feet on the beach!

Saturday we headed straight for the beach, after a 711 authentic slurpee detour of course, and spent the day swimming and boogie boarding. The weather was perfect, the waves were great and the water was cool but not freezing. Then we took the train to San Diego and had dinner in the gaslamp district at this place called Rock Bottom. It was pretty neat taking the train.

neat building downtown

Then Sunday we got up and had breakfast at the historic 101 Cafe and headed back to San Diego to spend some time at Seaport Village. We wanted to tour this aircraft carrier but got there 2 minutes after they stopped selling tickets. Bullocks. Instead we toured a couple of ships on the harbor; The Star of India, some old Russian submarine, and a couple smaller boats. It was pretty neat. Then we had dinner (which was good but glutened me. not getting into that right now) and headed back to the hotel for SLEEP and a heating pad to the tummy.

cute sculpture thingy next to the aircraft carrier

This morning we woke up at 4 to head to the airport. Booo. We got there within reasonable time but the security line was so long we were one of the last people to board the plane. I'm so glad I ran to the McDonald's to get a parfait because all I had to eat was an apple. I was pretty hungry when we landed, so when we were driving back we grabbed Dairy Queen and that made me pretty darn happy.

So that's that. I'm glad to be home but I wish we could have stayed longer.