sweetums

I'm drinking my dinner tonight.

Because. The latest stray cat turned out to be really cool. He was super sweet & cuddly. He also had a serious injury and a selection of other medically expensive ailments. I convinced FH to let him stay through the weekend, so I could try to find him a home. 

I did my best, but I was not able to find him a home.

He got a few days of food & loves, and I cleaned his wounds the best I could. He followed me around, hung out with the chickens, and sat on my lap for pets and scratches. He was so cool that he started to win over FH, and we had a brief discussion about keeping him.

Unfortunately, as cool as he was, the timing is just not right and we do not want any cats right now. My last cat was a 20 year commitment and that's not what we want right now.

So we sent him on his way, and it broke my heart, I'm sure it broke his too. (The cat, not FH. He probably thought he had found a home and I can't imagine what he was thinking as we proved him wrong.)

It would have been different if he was an asshole cat, but he was the sweetest. I really wanted a happier ending for him. In the end, we gave him a few good days and I did my best to set him up for a better future.

I'll never know what happens to him. But I'm sending the best vibes out into the universe.

kitties

I have a struggle.

Regarding cats.

There have been several stray cats that have wandered across our yard, and some are obviously feral but some are obviously not. I think people are dumping their animals out here because a feral cat will run from you but a dumped cat (or dog) will run toward you.

Now, if this were truly the Cat Distribution System choosing me, I would embrace it, but I can't care for every sweet little snookums that comes running up hungry and injured. It breaks my heart because I want to save them all but I just can't turn into the cat house, nor can I involve myself with trapping and taking these animals to the vet, etc.

I don't feed them, even though I want to, because then they'll for sure stick around, but I do show them kindness. FH chases them away because I can't be mean to them.

Now, if one of these kitties figures out that there are mice living under the deck, then that's not my problem. In fact, that's my solution. :)

hm, well.

Turns out the doctor was right.

Today I had to drive to the Woodlands, which according to google maps is 1 hour and 32 minutes away. A bit far, but it's under my self-imposed 2-hour drive time limit. Well, it turns out in real life and terrible weather and traffic, it took closer to 2 and a half hours. I did stop after about 45 minutes to walk around, and then again after about another 45 minutes, but by that 2 hour mark I was hurting. Those last 30 minutes were tough.

Once I got out of the car and made my way into the lab, I felt better. But that drive home, again, was tough. Tonight I'm really sore, it hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, and it's that weird pinchy hurt. This hurts worse than any physical therapy pain. 

HOW does sitting/driving make it hurt worse than walking around and doing lunges and going up and down the stairs ten times a day? The doctor said that driving/sitting/flying would hurt, but I honestly didn't think it would be this bad. 

At this rate, I will not be traveling for a while. Which is a bummer. 

Also I have to drive to Pasadena tomorrow which is a shorter drive but now I'm a little scared. I'm going to be spreading out my drives from now on. And maybe stopping more frequently. 

bath time

It's been 10 weeks since I was forbidden from taking baths. There have been a few times where I thought to myself, "I want a bath."

But it's been too soon, or the weather wasn't right. Then the surgeon said I could but I still didn't feel like things were healed enough and it wasn't worth the risk of infection.

Tonight was the night. I cleaned the tub (which wasn't that bad since FH had cleaned it out previously because he loves me) with soap and then with bleach to make sure no weird germs were there. 

And Oh. My Gawd. 

It was good.

I so missed this.

lazy daze

We could not get it together this weekend. We kept saying we were going to go outside and do projects, but never could muster up the energy to do it. Once or twice we tried, but ultimately we found ourselves back inside on the couch. Maybe it was the heat, maybe we are worn out.

At some point Saturday I called it and said that we should just embrace the failures to rally and make it a relaxing day inside. Somehow Sunday was the same. Neither of us had the steam to do much of anything.

I did make it out to the garden on Sunday morning, fueled by caffeine and the only small amount of ambition I had all weekend. It was cloudy and little windy, which made it bearable to be outside. As I was pulling weeds, it started to drizzle and it felt like such a relief from the heat that I didn't mind. When it got to the point where it was a steady downpour, I was already soaked anyway so I kept pulling weeds. 

When was the last time you were outside in a rainstorm and instead of seeking dry cover, you let yourself get soaked? I squished myself to the outdoor shower and scrubbed off the sunscreen and grime, slipped a moo moo over my head, and that was about all I got done. 

Kinda bummed that my recent overall boost in energy levels (attributed to the testosterone booty pellet) seemed to tank this weekend.  I'd like it to come back, please.

week what?

After a couple weeks of trying to walk normally, I'm still not there. I'm doing better, but my gait is not even and there's a bit of a limp, occasional unbalance, and I still walk very slowly. Especially at the end of the day when I'm tired. FH still goes ahead of me in stores and I just meet him at the destination. Ashley would not be able to handle walking with me. Actually, that would be pretty funny.

I saw my first customer this week, and after the 1.5 hour drive, standing and walking for 2 hours, and the drive back, I felt okay. My lower back was sore but that's actually normal. I should probably work on that. I don't think the customer caught on that I wasn't walking normally so I can't be that bad.

Next week I've got 2 customer visits scheduled (against my will, but since I'm the only person working in the Houston area for the next 2 months, it's all on me!) I'm trying to keep things spread out to give myself a breather. So far, so good.

Physical therapy has been really good. They have several people to work with and I've worked with them all at this point, but my favorite person has been this chick who really kicks my ass and I like it. Today we started lunges and they were hard but I could do them. She told me that I'm only allowed to do them twice a week because she's savvy and has obviously identified me as a person who will absolutely overdo it if I am left to my own devices.

At this point I haven't felt that pinchy surgical pain in a while and am mostly feeling persistent muscle soreness. Still can't do any twisting, pivoting, bringing my knees up to my chest past 90 degrees, turning out, stuff like that. I can do things like paint my toenails but it's not easy or comfortable. 

I've come a really long way but I feel like I won't be back to normal for a long time either.

call me stella

I woke up this morning and decided that it's time to get my groove back.

Today I started actively trying to walk without a limp. At this point it's mostly muscle memory and I need to re-train my brain and my muscles. I can feel my glutes already.

With the doctor's approval, I plan on returning to work next week, with restrictions not to travel for the next month because I don't feel ready to travel by myself. I think that's reasonable. I'd say I'm about 75% recovered. Plus I plan to take as many office days as I can, because yes I'm getting bored but also I'm not trying to go above and beyond.