lazy daze

We could not get it together this weekend. We kept saying we were going to go outside and do projects, but never could muster up the energy to do it. Once or twice we tried, but ultimately we found ourselves back inside on the couch. Maybe it was the heat, maybe we are worn out.

At some point Saturday I called it and said that we should just embrace the failures to rally and make it a relaxing day inside. Somehow Sunday was the same. Neither of us had the steam to do much of anything.

I did make it out to the garden on Sunday morning, fueled by caffeine and the only small amount of ambition I had all weekend. It was cloudy and little windy, which made it bearable to be outside. As I was pulling weeds, it started to drizzle and it felt like such a relief from the heat that I didn't mind. When it got to the point where it was a steady downpour, I was already soaked anyway so I kept pulling weeds. 

When was the last time you were outside in a rainstorm and instead of seeking dry cover, you let yourself get soaked? I squished myself to the outdoor shower and scrubbed off the sunscreen and grime, slipped a moo moo over my head, and that was about all I got done. 

Kinda bummed that my recent overall boost in energy levels (attributed to the testosterone booty pellet) seemed to tank this weekend.  I'd like it to come back, please.

week what?

After a couple weeks of trying to walk normally, I'm still not there. I'm doing better, but my gait is not even and there's a bit of a limp, occasional unbalance, and I still walk very slowly. Especially at the end of the day when I'm tired. FH still goes ahead of me in stores and I just meet him at the destination. Ashley would not be able to handle walking with me. Actually, that would be pretty funny.

I saw my first customer this week, and after the 1.5 hour drive, standing and walking for 2 hours, and the drive back, I felt okay. My lower back was sore but that's actually normal. I should probably work on that. I don't think the customer caught on that I wasn't walking normally so I can't be that bad.

Next week I've got 2 customer visits scheduled (against my will, but since I'm the only person working in the Houston area for the next 2 months, it's all on me!) I'm trying to keep things spread out to give myself a breather. So far, so good.

Physical therapy has been really good. They have several people to work with and I've worked with them all at this point, but my favorite person has been this chick who really kicks my ass and I like it. Today we started lunges and they were hard but I could do them. She told me that I'm only allowed to do them twice a week because she's savvy and has obviously identified me as a person who will absolutely overdo it if I am left to my own devices.

At this point I haven't felt that pinchy surgical pain in a while and am mostly feeling persistent muscle soreness. Still can't do any twisting, pivoting, bringing my knees up to my chest past 90 degrees, turning out, stuff like that. I can do things like paint my toenails but it's not easy or comfortable. 

I've come a really long way but I feel like I won't be back to normal for a long time either.

call me stella

I woke up this morning and decided that it's time to get my groove back.

Today I started actively trying to walk without a limp. At this point it's mostly muscle memory and I need to re-train my brain and my muscles. I can feel my glutes already.

With the doctor's approval, I plan on returning to work next week, with restrictions not to travel for the next month because I don't feel ready to travel by myself. I think that's reasonable. I'd say I'm about 75% recovered. Plus I plan to take as many office days as I can, because yes I'm getting bored but also I'm not trying to go above and beyond.

things I'm loving lately

Some fun things.

Cookie scoops. I got myself a pack of 3 different sizes for Christmas and I use them for cookies & batters, but also just about everything I can think of. Like when I make a big batch of something I use these to portion them out to freeze. Rice, quinoa, etc. I feel like a lunch lady and it's really satisfying. If you come visit and you get a perfectly domed portion of something, you know what's up.

Pretty PJ sets. I'm once again over the faded, stretched out, stained old raggedy tank tops and searching for some cute sets. I found 2 that I like, but mostly I'm finding a lot of shitty polyester and no, thank you. The search continues.

Speaking of, I bought several different colors of a linen tank top that doesn't make me feel like I want to rip it off the second I step outside. I have resorted to simply wearing a bathing suit top and cotton boxers when I know I'll be outside for a while. It's the least amount of clothing I can wear and not be reported to the authorities.

Disposable paper towels. Not for every day use, but for parties. There is nothing quite like washing your hands and going to dry them off on an already soggy hand towel because 20 people before you used it. At least you hope. Ugh. I am NOT above bringing them to a party and casually leaving them in the bathroom.

Naked Pea protein powder. Unflavored. What is with the questionable ingredients in all the protein powders out there? And GOD FORBID I don't want it sweet. I like this stuff, and am already on my second package. I like to add it to smoothies.

some pretty pill organizers. Because we take lots of supplements lately and it's easy to remember if we took them or not with these. And when you travel you just take those days and toss them in your bag.

pft.

Well I had a shitty day.

Mostly because I was super annoyed that, SuRpRiSe I'm still in pain from the really stupid move I made, and it affected everything I tried to do today. So my mood just compounded bad upon bad and eventually it provoked FH which turned into a bad mood for everyone.

So I stewed in my bad mood until this afternoon when I tried to shake it off and failed. At that point there's only one thing left to do and it's take a shower, eat dinner, pour a big glass of wine and go to bed early. Tomorrow will be another day, and hopefully better.

progress?

Well I'm a moron. 

A few days after the conversation with my doctor about how I needed to slow down, I decided it would be a good idea to mow the yard.

Hear me out.

I ran it by FH first, and he actually gave me the okay. I mean, mowing the yard is basically walking behind the mower since it's self-propelled. and I've been walking pretty well, even in the yard.

So I did it. But I forgot about the pulling, the pivoting, and all the other movements involved in mowing. In my defense, I went very slow and made deliberate movements and nothing actually hurt when I was doing it. As soon as I was done, I sat on the couch with an ice pack and rested for a while. Then I rested for most of the day, and I felt fine. A little tired, but no pain.

Until the evening. 

At some point, I took a step, felt sharp pain, and that was it. I knew I had overdone it. It was painful to walk the entire next day, and I spent most of it sitting with an ice pack and taking tiny, slow steps whenever I needed to walk. 

The tendonitis in my arm also flared up and I was in so much pain. 

Talk about a setback. 

I feel so stupid. I thought I was doing good, but once again I overestimated my progress. Ugh. How embarrassing. 

Now I'm in healing jail and I'll be scared to take too big of a (literal and figurative) step forward for a while. 

I really hope this is a lesson learned and I don't do something stupid like this again.

6 weeks

Dude. Essentially at my 6-week follow up today the doctor told me I am overdoing it and I need to slow down.

I thought I was going slow! I also thought I'd be ready to go back to work 3 weeks from now but when I saw the look on his face while I was talking I felt my plans go down the drain. He said that's probably not realistic.

Really? I know progress is slow but come on.

Then I started to believe him when he explained that yes, I could go until I hit pain, but then I needed to stop immediately, NOT keep going for a little bit and then stop. And that if I did get sore, I shouldn't still feel sore the next day and if I did, that means I over did it.

Oh.

Then he did an exam and all the movements we made came with a small sharp pain at some point or another and that's apparently also a sign to slow down.

Because overdoing it (even a little bit) every day slows down your overall progress.

So that whole appointment was disappointing, overall.

To drive the whole point home (pun intended), I have been in pain all afternoon. Why? Because I drove to the appointment (about an hour) and I felt a little bit of pain after about 30 minutes but kept going. This was before the conversation with the doctor. Had I stopped and switched with FH and he took over the driving, I might not be in pain right now.

Sigh.