30 December 2015
22 December 2015
Andrew Conrad
Remember this? Haha Suze you're such a good sport.
Well, I didn't think it was fair for Calvin to get a bunting and not Andrew. We don't want him thinking that his Aunt Nen doesn't love him. Even though his amniotic fluid's on one of Aunt Nen's towels from the very focused car ride to the hospital. I ran red lights and everything. I'm kind of a badass.
Oh, kid. Your birth story is pretty good. But that's for another day. Just remember when I answered your mom's midnight phone call asking for a ride to the hospital, she started by asking, "Whatcha doing?" Like it was just another day. How ironic!
Well, I didn't think it was fair for Calvin to get a bunting and not Andrew. We don't want him thinking that his Aunt Nen doesn't love him. Even though his amniotic fluid's on one of Aunt Nen's towels from the very focused car ride to the hospital. I ran red lights and everything. I'm kind of a badass.
Oh, kid. Your birth story is pretty good. But that's for another day. Just remember when I answered your mom's midnight phone call asking for a ride to the hospital, she started by asking, "Whatcha doing?" Like it was just another day. How ironic!
14 December 2015
red velvet
THANK YOU.
When I watched this part of this episode, I felt so much love for him. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS that red velvet is nothing special. But he does. He understands!
When I watched this part of this episode, I felt so much love for him. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS that red velvet is nothing special. But he does. He understands!
13 December 2015
Twelve Days of Christmas for Hubs 2015
The Twelve Days of Christmas for Hubs is back again! A few years ago I saw a neat idea that I thought I'd try for Christmas.
The idea is to give your hubs a gift on the 12 days leading up to Christmas, following the number theme. It was a huge hit, so it has become a tradition.
This year we decided to go backwards, starting with the number 12. Mostly because the gifts would be more useful in that order.
Day 11: Eleven items that might be useful while camping. Noticing a theme? A camping trip is pending and there's always a need for travel-sized bug spray and easy-to-apply sunscreen! Plus a few other necessities like Duck tape and hand sanitizer.
Day 10: Ten hot sauces to tantalize his taste buds. Obviously this is a lot of hot sauce for one person, but it's a fun taste-test and there's plenty to share!
The idea is to give your hubs a gift on the 12 days leading up to Christmas, following the number theme. It was a huge hit, so it has become a tradition.
This year we decided to go backwards, starting with the number 12. Mostly because the gifts would be more useful in that order.
12 Days of Christmas for Hubs
Day 12: A Texas Parks Annual Pass. Twelve months! Because he likes camping. This one is good for all Texas parks, all year. I printed out a map and laminated it with the pass. Because any excuse to use the laminator...
Day 11: Eleven items that might be useful while camping. Noticing a theme? A camping trip is pending and there's always a need for travel-sized bug spray and easy-to-apply sunscreen! Plus a few other necessities like Duck tape and hand sanitizer.
Day 10: Ten hot sauces to tantalize his taste buds. Obviously this is a lot of hot sauce for one person, but it's a fun taste-test and there's plenty to share!
Day 9: Nine scratch off lotto tickets. Because he just might win big! And because 9 is a hard number and scratch offs are easy to buy in any multiple.
Day 8: Eight ounces of fancy shaving cream. Because even though he has a beard right now, things need shaving every once in a while.
Day 7: Seven ounces of peach rings. Because the man likes his peach rings.
Day 6: A six pack of beer. Because you don't mess with a good thing.
Day 5: A five pack of chocolate coated licorice. Because for some reason I thought he liked licorice. I was wrong. Oops!
Day 4: I made up for the Oops on Day 5. Four bottles of liquor. A winner every time.
Day 3: Three cigars to smoke at holiday parties. Because after the new year, he'll be trying to cut back.
Day 2: Two bic lighters! Because like last year, all of our lighters disappeared. And by disappeared I mean they got thrown into the bonfire with all the leftover fireworks during 4th of July. That was spectacular, actually.
Day 1: A Nirvana Tshirt. Because I heard him say he needs a new one, even though he's already got one. I think he probably meant he needs a new style, but I wound up getting him the same one. So now he has two. So he can wear them more often! Yeah!
The 12 Days always make our holidays more enjoyable, but this year I definitely think these silly little gifts helped him wind down and get into the holiday spirit after a tough semester. Even a grown man can get excited to open a gift early, which is the best part to me.
See all 12 Days of Christmas for Hubs
Day 8: Eight ounces of fancy shaving cream. Because even though he has a beard right now, things need shaving every once in a while.
Day 7: Seven ounces of peach rings. Because the man likes his peach rings.
Day 6: A six pack of beer. Because you don't mess with a good thing.
Day 5: A five pack of chocolate coated licorice. Because for some reason I thought he liked licorice. I was wrong. Oops!
Day 4: I made up for the Oops on Day 5. Four bottles of liquor. A winner every time.
Day 3: Three cigars to smoke at holiday parties. Because after the new year, he'll be trying to cut back.
Day 2: Two bic lighters! Because like last year, all of our lighters disappeared. And by disappeared I mean they got thrown into the bonfire with all the leftover fireworks during 4th of July. That was spectacular, actually.
Day 1: A Nirvana Tshirt. Because I heard him say he needs a new one, even though he's already got one. I think he probably meant he needs a new style, but I wound up getting him the same one. So now he has two. So he can wear them more often! Yeah!
The 12 Days always make our holidays more enjoyable, but this year I definitely think these silly little gifts helped him wind down and get into the holiday spirit after a tough semester. Even a grown man can get excited to open a gift early, which is the best part to me.
See all 12 Days of Christmas for Hubs
10 December 2015
Lappy
My laptop is on its last leg. Which is why I haven't been blogging much. But, you know, Christmas is coming... Hopefully the situation will be rectified soon. In the meantime here is a post from my phone.
Suzy's tweet this afternoon had me cracking up.
Suzy's tweet this afternoon had me cracking up.
24 November 2015
Takers?
If anyone wants a headache, body aches, and massive sinus congestion, come and get it. I don't want it. This sucks.
12 November 2015
Anti dull
I walked into the lab this morning to find plastic sheets covering the instruments and blankets on the floor. Apparently a pipe had burst in the ceiling overnight directly over the chemistry analyzers.
That's what happens in old buildings I guess. Apparently this situation happens a lot because who has large plastic sheets on hand like that?
So a renovation has been proposed where we will literally relocate to a different part of the building for a few months. Millions of dollars of highly specialized equipment just hanging out in a random area of the hospital.
The law of the lab means there is never a dull day!
That's what happens in old buildings I guess. Apparently this situation happens a lot because who has large plastic sheets on hand like that?
So a renovation has been proposed where we will literally relocate to a different part of the building for a few months. Millions of dollars of highly specialized equipment just hanging out in a random area of the hospital.
The law of the lab means there is never a dull day!
06 November 2015
another rung
I originally applied for the Lead Tech position at my new job. However, they were concerned about my lack of experience. The fact that I'd been off the bench for so long was not in my favor, even though I'd been essentially performing duties on a manager level (yet not getting paid for them) at MDA.
So they offered me a floater position instead.
Which is basically a regular tech but knowledgeable in every area of the lab so you can cover any bench. Which was actually ideal since my goal has always been to be trained as a generalist. Generalists are more marketable. Combined with all the other perks of this new job, I took the position even though I really wanted my next move to be a step up. It would still boost my resume more than my previous position.
Fast forward to yesterday when my boss called me into her office and asked if I was still interested in the Lead Tech position, which they have not filled. Of course I said yes, then she said HR would be contacting me about my increased salary and I'd sign a new job description and it would be effective the next pay period. Done.
Now I'm the Lead Chemistry and *Point of Care tech!!
*It was supposed to be just chemistry, but because I have Point of Care experience and they realized they don't have a Lead POC tech, they asked if I would feel comfortable doing it and of course I'd be paid more money. Um, Yes. They offered me more money for something I could basically perform in my sleep. I guess working in point of care for the last couple of years wasn't useless after all!
I didn't say anything to my coworkers because 1. It's not official and 2. It's weird being the new girl younger than everyone else, and everyone trained me and now I'm suddenly their Lead Tech and I don't want to get a big head and overstep my unwritten social boundaries. Tact, y'all. I'm still feeling this bunch out.
I did get some excited "congratulations" from a few of them who must have heard the news, including the chick who trained me in chemistry, and my fellow Lead Tech who covers Hematology and Blood Bank. And my manager gave me a side hug and told me she was excited. Probably because we're just about to switch to a new chemistry analyzer next month and it's going to be HELLA crazy and they just want someone to take the responsibilities, haha. I'm okay with that. I'm used to stress. Now I'm getting paid for it.
There's only one way to move up and this is it! Yeah!
So they offered me a floater position instead.
Which is basically a regular tech but knowledgeable in every area of the lab so you can cover any bench. Which was actually ideal since my goal has always been to be trained as a generalist. Generalists are more marketable. Combined with all the other perks of this new job, I took the position even though I really wanted my next move to be a step up. It would still boost my resume more than my previous position.
Fast forward to yesterday when my boss called me into her office and asked if I was still interested in the Lead Tech position, which they have not filled. Of course I said yes, then she said HR would be contacting me about my increased salary and I'd sign a new job description and it would be effective the next pay period. Done.
Now I'm the Lead Chemistry and *Point of Care tech!!
*It was supposed to be just chemistry, but because I have Point of Care experience and they realized they don't have a Lead POC tech, they asked if I would feel comfortable doing it and of course I'd be paid more money. Um, Yes. They offered me more money for something I could basically perform in my sleep. I guess working in point of care for the last couple of years wasn't useless after all!
I didn't say anything to my coworkers because 1. It's not official and 2. It's weird being the new girl younger than everyone else, and everyone trained me and now I'm suddenly their Lead Tech and I don't want to get a big head and overstep my unwritten social boundaries. Tact, y'all. I'm still feeling this bunch out.
I did get some excited "congratulations" from a few of them who must have heard the news, including the chick who trained me in chemistry, and my fellow Lead Tech who covers Hematology and Blood Bank. And my manager gave me a side hug and told me she was excited. Probably because we're just about to switch to a new chemistry analyzer next month and it's going to be HELLA crazy and they just want someone to take the responsibilities, haha. I'm okay with that. I'm used to stress. Now I'm getting paid for it.
There's only one way to move up and this is it! Yeah!
02 November 2015
Odd things in the fridge
I had to switch pharmacies because CVS isn't a "participating pharmacy" in our new insurance plan.
So I switched it to the local Randalls, since it's the next closest pharmacy. When I picked up the package it was larger than normal. I questioned that they had filled the correct prescription. They looked at me weird and said yes.
When I opened the package, I found they gave me a 3 month supply. Baller! Especially bc I'm technically out of refills so I expected a hassle. Definitely cool, man.
So that's the story of why there is a box of Nuva Ring sitting on the door of my fridge next to the pickles and bbq sauce.
So I switched it to the local Randalls, since it's the next closest pharmacy. When I picked up the package it was larger than normal. I questioned that they had filled the correct prescription. They looked at me weird and said yes.
When I opened the package, I found they gave me a 3 month supply. Baller! Especially bc I'm technically out of refills so I expected a hassle. Definitely cool, man.
So that's the story of why there is a box of Nuva Ring sitting on the door of my fridge next to the pickles and bbq sauce.
More about convenience
I'm a huge fan of those little tabs that you plunk in the toilet tank and leave there until they dissolve.
Bleach with every flush? Um, yes, please.
I forget what brand I used, but there was one kind that gave you a fresh whiff of bleach alll the time. My kind of toilet. Especially because our older fixtures need all the help they can get. Nothing skeeves me out like a dirty dingy toilet.
Not only did it keep things smelling fresh in between weekly (ish) scrubs and wipedowns, it kept that dreaded toilet ring at bay and underneath the rim from getting mildewy.
Because I'm the kind of crazy that will take an old toothbrush and scrub that stuff off.
I'd rather not scrub underneath the rim of the toilet with an old toothbrush, though, so yeah. I like toilet tabs.
The only problem was, it was hard to tell they had run out until it was too late and funk had taken over.
I will start this next sentence by saying that yes, I do have an opinion about blue toilet water. I don't like it. I think it's tacky. I know, I'm weird. That's been long established.
However, chris talked me it trying them and I have to say, it is super awesome being able to tell exactly when the bleach tab is running out. Tacky blue water is a small price to pay for continuing bleach goodness.
This concludes my ode to toilet tank bleach tabs and how much I dig them. Blue or not.
Bleach with every flush? Um, yes, please.
I forget what brand I used, but there was one kind that gave you a fresh whiff of bleach alll the time. My kind of toilet. Especially because our older fixtures need all the help they can get. Nothing skeeves me out like a dirty dingy toilet.
Not only did it keep things smelling fresh in between weekly (ish) scrubs and wipedowns, it kept that dreaded toilet ring at bay and underneath the rim from getting mildewy.
Because I'm the kind of crazy that will take an old toothbrush and scrub that stuff off.
I'd rather not scrub underneath the rim of the toilet with an old toothbrush, though, so yeah. I like toilet tabs.
The only problem was, it was hard to tell they had run out until it was too late and funk had taken over.
I will start this next sentence by saying that yes, I do have an opinion about blue toilet water. I don't like it. I think it's tacky. I know, I'm weird. That's been long established.
However, chris talked me it trying them and I have to say, it is super awesome being able to tell exactly when the bleach tab is running out. Tacky blue water is a small price to pay for continuing bleach goodness.
This concludes my ode to toilet tank bleach tabs and how much I dig them. Blue or not.
01 November 2015
But first
It's hard to hear the tv because my washing machine, dryer, and robot vacuum cleaner are too loud.
Then it occurred to me that I'm sitting on the couch relaxing while machines clean my house.
I'm playing scrabble with my sister miles away, and I have all of the information in the world at my fingertips.
The crock pot cooked dinner for me last night.
But my robot vacuum is too loud.
Then it occurred to me that I'm sitting on the couch relaxing while machines clean my house.
I'm playing scrabble with my sister miles away, and I have all of the information in the world at my fingertips.
The crock pot cooked dinner for me last night.
But my robot vacuum is too loud.
28 October 2015
This kid
The stickers Calvin chose after going pee in the potty.
No glow in the dark zombies or googly eye pumpkins.
Leftover garage sale stickers. He insisted.
Ok, kid.
27 October 2015
Awkward thing
You know what's awkward?
Today I was driving home. Tootin through the neighborhood like normal.
There was a lady jogging on the sidewalk. No big deal. Except as I approached my driveway... so did she.
She was at a distance where I had to make a choice. Either pull into my driveway before she got to it, or wait for her to cross the driveway and then pull in.
Rather than cut her off and screech into the driveway right in front of her (haha could you imagine??), I chose to pull over at the curb and idle while she passed.
It was only a wait of about 5 seconds, but time seemed to slowww down. Of course, she looked over her shoulder to see who was creeping behind her, and all I could do was give her the wave. Which I'm not sure she saw.
Too bad I didn't have "Eye of the Tiger" ready to blast.
Then I waited an additional appropriate amount of time so she could cross the driveway before I pulled in, so she didn't think I was being rude or impatient.
And she looked behind her shoulder again as she jogged away. I felt like such an awkward creeper. I should have driven around the block to avoid the whole situation haha.
Only I over think these random ass scenarios.
Today I was driving home. Tootin through the neighborhood like normal.
There was a lady jogging on the sidewalk. No big deal. Except as I approached my driveway... so did she.
She was at a distance where I had to make a choice. Either pull into my driveway before she got to it, or wait for her to cross the driveway and then pull in.
Rather than cut her off and screech into the driveway right in front of her (haha could you imagine??), I chose to pull over at the curb and idle while she passed.
It was only a wait of about 5 seconds, but time seemed to slowww down. Of course, she looked over her shoulder to see who was creeping behind her, and all I could do was give her the wave. Which I'm not sure she saw.
Too bad I didn't have "Eye of the Tiger" ready to blast.
Then I waited an additional appropriate amount of time so she could cross the driveway before I pulled in, so she didn't think I was being rude or impatient.
And she looked behind her shoulder again as she jogged away. I felt like such an awkward creeper. I should have driven around the block to avoid the whole situation haha.
Only I over think these random ass scenarios.
26 October 2015
Choices
I made big ass salads for dinner. Too bad they're sitting in the fridge bc there's wine and caramel brownies in the house.
25 October 2015
Fresh
It's finally sufficiently cold enough outside that the windows are open and the cool air is beginning to course through the house.
Fresh clean sheets are drying as we speak. I love when those two things coincide.
My toenails are painted, gold and green sparkles. Didn't quite turn out the way I expected but oh, well.
In other news:
Fresh clean sheets are drying as we speak. I love when those two things coincide.
My toenails are painted, gold and green sparkles. Didn't quite turn out the way I expected but oh, well.
In other news:
24 October 2015
rainy day
The plumber was right on time.
The doorbell rang, I jumped out of bed half-asleep and remembered to grab a tshirt and some shorts. Opened the door and EEE OOOOH EEEEE OOOOH. Oops, forgot to turn off the alarm. Hang on.
Through the house, out the back door, "Hey guy, watch out there might be poop." Duck under the overgrown (and moldy-- eew I had no idea plants could mold?) bushes to the back side of the house.
I said to the guy, "Here's the problem. We tried to fix it. Sorry about that."
Guy ran to get parts and came back just in time for it to start raining. Fortunately 30 minutes and $160 later, he was soaked, it was fixed, and we had water again! Yay!
Did I mention the stop/street sign out on the corner rusted through and fell down? Our corner of the neighborhood is looking pretty classy right now. Remind me to call the city on Monday.
Did the grocery shopping for the week, returned Chris's dad's truck, grabbed lunch at the local bbq place, and now I'm ready to hunker down on the couch and watch ParaNorman.
It can go ahead and rain now.
The doorbell rang, I jumped out of bed half-asleep and remembered to grab a tshirt and some shorts. Opened the door and EEE OOOOH EEEEE OOOOH. Oops, forgot to turn off the alarm. Hang on.
Through the house, out the back door, "Hey guy, watch out there might be poop." Duck under the overgrown (and moldy-- eew I had no idea plants could mold?) bushes to the back side of the house.
I said to the guy, "Here's the problem. We tried to fix it. Sorry about that."
Guy ran to get parts and came back just in time for it to start raining. Fortunately 30 minutes and $160 later, he was soaked, it was fixed, and we had water again! Yay!
Did I mention the stop/street sign out on the corner rusted through and fell down? Our corner of the neighborhood is looking pretty classy right now. Remind me to call the city on Monday.
Did the grocery shopping for the week, returned Chris's dad's truck, grabbed lunch at the local bbq place, and now I'm ready to hunker down on the couch and watch ParaNorman.
It can go ahead and rain now.
23 October 2015
no water
because this house is cursed and when a simple leak should be a simple fix, but it's not, you end up having to turn all the water to the house off or else let the equivalent of the hose run all night. I'm (sub)consciously not drinking water because the darn toilets don't flush right now and ew. I'm also glad I figured out the hand sanitizer stinky armpit solution because a shower won't happen tonight.
Home ownership bites sometimes.
This is soo ironic because the strongest hurricane ever is literally over Mexico right now and our forecast includes tons of rain and flash floods. Water, water everywhere-- except for out of our faucets.
The neighborhood plumber (thanks, neighborhood facebook page!) should be coming by tomorrow morning to fix our fix, and I'm hoping it won't cost too much. But it probably will because plumbers are expensive.
Oh also today was madness, especially in the morning when it was crazy hectic and everybody needed blood and then a tube exploded, just vaporized, in the cell washer. The noise was actually cool- only a noise that exploding glass tube could make. Aerosol-ed glass and blood. It sure was fun to clean up.
Le sigh. It could be worse. I should count my blessings, and I am. But I'm going to bitch about things too.
Also, after a glass of wine I probably won't care so much!
Home ownership bites sometimes.
This is soo ironic because the strongest hurricane ever is literally over Mexico right now and our forecast includes tons of rain and flash floods. Water, water everywhere-- except for out of our faucets.
The neighborhood plumber (thanks, neighborhood facebook page!) should be coming by tomorrow morning to fix our fix, and I'm hoping it won't cost too much. But it probably will because plumbers are expensive.
Oh also today was madness, especially in the morning when it was crazy hectic and everybody needed blood and then a tube exploded, just vaporized, in the cell washer. The noise was actually cool- only a noise that exploding glass tube could make. Aerosol-ed glass and blood. It sure was fun to clean up.
Le sigh. It could be worse. I should count my blessings, and I am. But I'm going to bitch about things too.
Also, after a glass of wine I probably won't care so much!
13 October 2015
adjusting life
It's 5:30 in the afternoon and I've gotten home from work and had time to unload/load the dishwasher, do some yoga/get a light workout, drink some green tea and eat a snack while playing scrabble on my phone, and catch up on some blogs.
This is lovely.
I don't feel like I have much direction lately.
Well, not that.
I don't feel like my life can be compartmentalized in order to place it into a blog post. My thoughts are not organized.
I'm trying to settle into a groove.
I keep comparing this job to my last bench job and noticing the similarities and differences and making subconscious adjustments to accommodate my old habits.
It's still hard to get up in the morning, but if doesn't matter if wake up at 4am or 6am or 8am. It's still hard to get out of bed.
Started training in blood bank today. This is something I haven't touched since school. One of the problems is, I knew it so well back in school that I don't have many notes on it. So when I tried to study, it was hard to refresh my memory. It started to come back once I actually did a few type & screens.
I feel so much smarter lately. Like I'm using my advanced clinical skills instead of creating excel spreadsheets and wagging my finger at nurses. (Not that I don't love those things.)
This is lovely.
I don't feel like I have much direction lately.
Well, not that.
I don't feel like my life can be compartmentalized in order to place it into a blog post. My thoughts are not organized.
I'm trying to settle into a groove.
I keep comparing this job to my last bench job and noticing the similarities and differences and making subconscious adjustments to accommodate my old habits.
It's still hard to get up in the morning, but if doesn't matter if wake up at 4am or 6am or 8am. It's still hard to get out of bed.
Started training in blood bank today. This is something I haven't touched since school. One of the problems is, I knew it so well back in school that I don't have many notes on it. So when I tried to study, it was hard to refresh my memory. It started to come back once I actually did a few type & screens.
I feel so much smarter lately. Like I'm using my advanced clinical skills instead of creating excel spreadsheets and wagging my finger at nurses. (Not that I don't love those things.)
06 October 2015
Cheerios?
My boxes weren't included in the recall, but the canker sores in my mouth are screaming "hidden gluten."
So for now, I've switched back to Chex. Bummer.
So for now, I've switched back to Chex. Bummer.
29 September 2015
breathe in that fresh lab air
My day started out slow, but picked up after mid-morning. Read my first slide in 2.5 years: dimorphic population with spherocytes. Man, I need to brush up on my skills. New bedtime reading.
Man, it feels good to get my hands on the bench again. Learning new LIS and software is the hardest part but the programs are pretty user-friendly. There are only so many ways you can display a test result on a computer screen.
The machines are very similar to the ones I used to use, so finding my way back into that groove won't be that hard.
What surprised me was the volume. Very low compared to what we used to crank out. It was almost leisurely. There must not be hospital rounds? Or maybe I get there after rounds? Whatever the reason, I'll take it for now.
My hours will not be what I originally thought. Initially, the miscommunication annoyed me because that was a big perk. But I don't think I can get the experience I want on the shift I thought I was working, so in the end the hours are still reasonable and it's all good.
Going to finish this cup of tea and do some yoga. Namaste.
Man, it feels good to get my hands on the bench again. Learning new LIS and software is the hardest part but the programs are pretty user-friendly. There are only so many ways you can display a test result on a computer screen.
The machines are very similar to the ones I used to use, so finding my way back into that groove won't be that hard.
What surprised me was the volume. Very low compared to what we used to crank out. It was almost leisurely. There must not be hospital rounds? Or maybe I get there after rounds? Whatever the reason, I'll take it for now.
My hours will not be what I originally thought. Initially, the miscommunication annoyed me because that was a big perk. But I don't think I can get the experience I want on the shift I thought I was working, so in the end the hours are still reasonable and it's all good.
Going to finish this cup of tea and do some yoga. Namaste.
28 September 2015
Promise?
First day at work and their intense focus on customer service makes me feel like I'm home. ♡
The 11-minute commute doesn't hurt, either.
The 11-minute commute doesn't hurt, either.
26 September 2015
rearview mirror
Here's the big huge dump of the scenarios surrounding leaving my job.
It's been a whirlwind of emotions, soul-searching, gathering facts, making comparisons, and trusting/ defending myself.
I suppose the biggest surprise and disappointment of this whole experience is that my superiors were unable to maintain a professional attitude. I really thought there was mutual respect and they were better than that. Suck it up, take your loss, grit your teeth, and wish me luck. Nope.
Here's the story about what happened. It's not unique.
I came to work and gave 100% every day. I excelled. I gained respect. I loved my job and the people I worked with.
I also gained a lot more work. After a while, I began to see how lopsided things were. It's that classic misguided strategy: Keep piling things on top of the person who performs them best.
I asked for compensation for my efforts; especially because our salaries are public and it was evident that the person who carried the most weight received the least amount of money. (I'm obviously talking about myself here.) I felt like a fool; my coworkers made more money than I did, including ones with less experience who graduated after me, and including ones who pulled WAY less of the workload. Combined with a miserable hour-and-a-half commute each way, my job began to feel discouraging.
When I asked my boss, I was told that she did everything she could when it came to yearly evaluations and raises (and she did), but institutional limitations meant I couldn't be given more money, even though I deserved it. The inequality of salary in the department, even though it was supposed to be based on experience, could not be explained. They also acknowledged that yes my commute sucked but think about my benefits! I was reminded that I would eventually rise up in the ranks and one day it will be worth it. But in the meantime they asked if I could take on this extra project? And that one? I was told how good I was. I was the best in the department. I was the star. Actual words from my boss. I appreciated that.
I know that everywhere you go, you're overworked and underpaid. It's not a unique situation. And I believed them when they said that one day it would pay off. So I updated my resume, but trudged on.
Then we were blindsided. We were asked to do some pretty unreasonable things, like drop everything to be on call for someone who threw a temper tantrum over regulations that we have no control over, and work mandatory overnight 12-hour shifts on the weekends with no notice.
This was not a situation where something went terribly wrong and somebody needed help. This was the kind of situation where we were chosen to be the doormats because the person who made the decision decided that we didn't matter.
I watched my coworkers scramble to re-arrange their lives to keep their jobs, and I did the same, and that was the last straw for me. Not only was it insulting, but it set precedent. Even after this situation got resolved, I didn't want to stick around to see what happened next.
You know what? I've said it before. Life is too short and there are too many jobs out there to stay where you're unhappy. So I looked around and found something great for many reasons. Among them are a super short commute, less responsibility, accrual of valuable marketable skills in this field, an ideal schedule, not to mention that pay raise. Yes, please.
When I resigned I was met with incredible resistance. I made it very clear that I was leaving in part because of the recent shenanigans, and I was not met with surprise there; my boss understood that part because we'd all been clamoring about how it was NOT okay. I also clarified that it was nothing personal and my decision was based on what was best for me, and there were no hard feelings from my end.
It wasn't enough.
My superiors were pissed I was leaving and though they tried, there was nothing they could do about it. Since there was nothing tangible to offer, the guilt was poured on thick. Which was super fun to endure while maintaining a professional attitude. I am grateful that they thought highly enough of me to convince me to stay. What I didn't appreciate was the way they treated me when I told them my final decision. Zero respect. No thanks or well-wishes. Their attitudes trickled down.
The lesson here, besides don't mistreat your employees, is don't make someone irreplaceable. Spread the workload more evenly. That way when the one person you rely on most walks out, you're not left wondering what the hell to do. Literally no one else in the department knew how to do some of the things I did. It's not my fault. I simply did what I was asked to do, and I did it well. I'm certainly remembering this experience for the day that I'm a manager and I make decisions like these.
After word got out, I lost count of how many times I was told "You're making a huge mistake." By my supervisor, manager, colleagues, random people from other departments, people I don't even know. The widespread knowledge of me and my departure was staggering. I even started to hear un-true things about myself. It was super bizarre because I pride myself on staying under the radar and excluding myself from gossip. Suddenly I was the target.
I know it was probably said with good intentions, "You're so good you can't leave." I was even asked to meet with mythical creatures such as the Director of the division. I told the same professional story everywhere; my decision was based on what was best for me and there were no hard feelings from my end.
After a while, it became insulting. I felt like I was basically told over and over again, "You're not intelligent enough to make a decision about your own life." I started to feel attacked. Some of these people knew nothing about me, my life, or my situation. Yet they insisted I must be stupid if I decided to leave.
I declined to say anything negative about my reasons for leaving, but with the rumors flying everyone knew what was going on. Yet I was still condemned for leaving. I couldn't figure it out.
Those kinds of remarks made for a really rough couple of weeks. I went from a respected individual to someone who was making a huge mistake. The only support I received was either reluctant, or from my own coworkers who understood and are currently actively pursuing what's best for them.
Then it hit me one day when I was being bombarded by "well-wishers" in the break room, and it creeped me out: These people, these employees, institution-wide, really are brainwashed to believe that there is no better place to work and when someone leaves, no matter what the reason, it's considered a mistake. Unthinkable. This is the Stepford Wives of the Institutional Machine, believing that there's nothing better out there.
That realization only reinforced my decision to leave. It super creeped me out. When I confided in my coworker Chic about the brainwashed theory, she wide-eyed told me that she secretly thought the same thing. I knew I liked her. So far I haven't been brainwashed. I'm okay with moving on. This feels right.
I did not make this decision rashly. I did my homework, I weighed scenarios, I checked my gut, and I feel that this move will improve my quality of life. Faced with the facts (and I checked them thoroughly), one organization compared to another is roughly equal. Even though I've had a bad experience, this institution is NOT a bad place to work, and continues to be a phenomenal place to receive treatment, but it's certainly not the above-all, end-all magical best place to work. Even with the perceived benefits, it's not worth it to me. In the end, I'm not sorry that I made a decision about my life that is different from what they thought I should do.
I can't say enough that I will miss the wonderful, thoughtful, hard-working people that I work with, and I value our relationships.
But man, I'm ready to leave that mess behind, and I'm excited about this next chapter.
It's been a whirlwind of emotions, soul-searching, gathering facts, making comparisons, and trusting/ defending myself.
I suppose the biggest surprise and disappointment of this whole experience is that my superiors were unable to maintain a professional attitude. I really thought there was mutual respect and they were better than that. Suck it up, take your loss, grit your teeth, and wish me luck. Nope.
Here's the story about what happened. It's not unique.
I came to work and gave 100% every day. I excelled. I gained respect. I loved my job and the people I worked with.
I also gained a lot more work. After a while, I began to see how lopsided things were. It's that classic misguided strategy: Keep piling things on top of the person who performs them best.
I asked for compensation for my efforts; especially because our salaries are public and it was evident that the person who carried the most weight received the least amount of money. (I'm obviously talking about myself here.) I felt like a fool; my coworkers made more money than I did, including ones with less experience who graduated after me, and including ones who pulled WAY less of the workload. Combined with a miserable hour-and-a-half commute each way, my job began to feel discouraging.
When I asked my boss, I was told that she did everything she could when it came to yearly evaluations and raises (and she did), but institutional limitations meant I couldn't be given more money, even though I deserved it. The inequality of salary in the department, even though it was supposed to be based on experience, could not be explained. They also acknowledged that yes my commute sucked but think about my benefits! I was reminded that I would eventually rise up in the ranks and one day it will be worth it. But in the meantime they asked if I could take on this extra project? And that one? I was told how good I was. I was the best in the department. I was the star. Actual words from my boss. I appreciated that.
I know that everywhere you go, you're overworked and underpaid. It's not a unique situation. And I believed them when they said that one day it would pay off. So I updated my resume, but trudged on.
Then we were blindsided. We were asked to do some pretty unreasonable things, like drop everything to be on call for someone who threw a temper tantrum over regulations that we have no control over, and work mandatory overnight 12-hour shifts on the weekends with no notice.
This was not a situation where something went terribly wrong and somebody needed help. This was the kind of situation where we were chosen to be the doormats because the person who made the decision decided that we didn't matter.
I watched my coworkers scramble to re-arrange their lives to keep their jobs, and I did the same, and that was the last straw for me. Not only was it insulting, but it set precedent. Even after this situation got resolved, I didn't want to stick around to see what happened next.
You know what? I've said it before. Life is too short and there are too many jobs out there to stay where you're unhappy. So I looked around and found something great for many reasons. Among them are a super short commute, less responsibility, accrual of valuable marketable skills in this field, an ideal schedule, not to mention that pay raise. Yes, please.
When I resigned I was met with incredible resistance. I made it very clear that I was leaving in part because of the recent shenanigans, and I was not met with surprise there; my boss understood that part because we'd all been clamoring about how it was NOT okay. I also clarified that it was nothing personal and my decision was based on what was best for me, and there were no hard feelings from my end.
It wasn't enough.
My superiors were pissed I was leaving and though they tried, there was nothing they could do about it. Since there was nothing tangible to offer, the guilt was poured on thick. Which was super fun to endure while maintaining a professional attitude. I am grateful that they thought highly enough of me to convince me to stay. What I didn't appreciate was the way they treated me when I told them my final decision. Zero respect. No thanks or well-wishes. Their attitudes trickled down.
The lesson here, besides don't mistreat your employees, is don't make someone irreplaceable. Spread the workload more evenly. That way when the one person you rely on most walks out, you're not left wondering what the hell to do. Literally no one else in the department knew how to do some of the things I did. It's not my fault. I simply did what I was asked to do, and I did it well. I'm certainly remembering this experience for the day that I'm a manager and I make decisions like these.
After word got out, I lost count of how many times I was told "You're making a huge mistake." By my supervisor, manager, colleagues, random people from other departments, people I don't even know. The widespread knowledge of me and my departure was staggering. I even started to hear un-true things about myself. It was super bizarre because I pride myself on staying under the radar and excluding myself from gossip. Suddenly I was the target.
I know it was probably said with good intentions, "You're so good you can't leave." I was even asked to meet with mythical creatures such as the Director of the division. I told the same professional story everywhere; my decision was based on what was best for me and there were no hard feelings from my end.
After a while, it became insulting. I felt like I was basically told over and over again, "You're not intelligent enough to make a decision about your own life." I started to feel attacked. Some of these people knew nothing about me, my life, or my situation. Yet they insisted I must be stupid if I decided to leave.
I declined to say anything negative about my reasons for leaving, but with the rumors flying everyone knew what was going on. Yet I was still condemned for leaving. I couldn't figure it out.
Those kinds of remarks made for a really rough couple of weeks. I went from a respected individual to someone who was making a huge mistake. The only support I received was either reluctant, or from my own coworkers who understood and are currently actively pursuing what's best for them.
Then it hit me one day when I was being bombarded by "well-wishers" in the break room, and it creeped me out: These people, these employees, institution-wide, really are brainwashed to believe that there is no better place to work and when someone leaves, no matter what the reason, it's considered a mistake. Unthinkable. This is the Stepford Wives of the Institutional Machine, believing that there's nothing better out there.
That realization only reinforced my decision to leave. It super creeped me out. When I confided in my coworker Chic about the brainwashed theory, she wide-eyed told me that she secretly thought the same thing. I knew I liked her. So far I haven't been brainwashed. I'm okay with moving on. This feels right.
I did not make this decision rashly. I did my homework, I weighed scenarios, I checked my gut, and I feel that this move will improve my quality of life. Faced with the facts (and I checked them thoroughly), one organization compared to another is roughly equal. Even though I've had a bad experience, this institution is NOT a bad place to work, and continues to be a phenomenal place to receive treatment, but it's certainly not the above-all, end-all magical best place to work. Even with the perceived benefits, it's not worth it to me. In the end, I'm not sorry that I made a decision about my life that is different from what they thought I should do.
I can't say enough that I will miss the wonderful, thoughtful, hard-working people that I work with, and I value our relationships.
But man, I'm ready to leave that mess behind, and I'm excited about this next chapter.
moment
This afternoon I spent a few hours at the park with my sister and my nephew. One of those fun afternoons spent playing and chatting and leaving our phones in our purses. (Except, of course, to text Helen about the status of the foundation on Ashley's new house. Right. Down. The Street. Gah!)
The weather was warm but with a nice breeze, the slides were nice and sticky, and we all left with a fine coating of dust and grime to go eat some dinner at the local grocery store.
One of those simple afternoons that was special because it wasn't. I really, really needed that.
Going to spend the evening with a glass of wine and clean up the craft room. I did some rearranging and decided I hate the cubby holes and want to do long, narrow shelves instead.
The weather was warm but with a nice breeze, the slides were nice and sticky, and we all left with a fine coating of dust and grime to go eat some dinner at the local grocery store.
One of those simple afternoons that was special because it wasn't. I really, really needed that.
Going to spend the evening with a glass of wine and clean up the craft room. I did some rearranging and decided I hate the cubby holes and want to do long, narrow shelves instead.
17 September 2015
The decision
This week has consisted of much guilt.
Because while this decision is strictly professional and I harbor no ill feelings towards my coworkers or my boss (in fact I will honestly miss most of them and I value our relationships), the truth is, guilt is all that the leadership in this department has to rely on. A whole bunch of 'what ifs' and nothing concrete.
Simply because of the limitations imposed by the organization. In order to maintain consistency, sometimes the most valuable people can't be rewarded for their skills and efforts. And that's nothing personal. It's simply business.
While I am incredibly flattered and humbled by their efforts to make me stay, including recognition of my value, I can't bring myself to reverse my decision for something I can't rely on 100%.
If I make the wrong decision, I can kick myself. My gut is telling me it's okay to move forward with this, and I trust it.
So that is what this week has been like--internal struggle. Ultimately I have to consider what's good for me instead of what's good for everyone else.
Feels better to get this out after a week of being pulled in so many different directions.
Because while this decision is strictly professional and I harbor no ill feelings towards my coworkers or my boss (in fact I will honestly miss most of them and I value our relationships), the truth is, guilt is all that the leadership in this department has to rely on. A whole bunch of 'what ifs' and nothing concrete.
Simply because of the limitations imposed by the organization. In order to maintain consistency, sometimes the most valuable people can't be rewarded for their skills and efforts. And that's nothing personal. It's simply business.
While I am incredibly flattered and humbled by their efforts to make me stay, including recognition of my value, I can't bring myself to reverse my decision for something I can't rely on 100%.
If I make the wrong decision, I can kick myself. My gut is telling me it's okay to move forward with this, and I trust it.
So that is what this week has been like--internal struggle. Ultimately I have to consider what's good for me instead of what's good for everyone else.
Feels better to get this out after a week of being pulled in so many different directions.
14 September 2015
Opportunity
Looking forward to this so much.
31 August 2015
NuvaRing Update
It's been about a year (ish) since I've been on the NuvaRing. Here are my observations.
I like it. Mostly.
The biggest issue I have is that I sometimes forget about it and I can't remember when it's time to remove it/put in a new one. Which usually results in a panic that sends me to my calendar to remember when I last put it in. NOT ideal. I initially set up a reminder on my phone-- incorrectly-- and I missed my reminder by a week one time. That was panicky and I took a few pregnancy tests because I didn't get my period. But then I got my period. Whew. Birth control schedule is nothing to mess around with. I do not like the potential for forgetfulness.
To help with that, I set up a new reminder on my phone, and I also signed up for auto-refills at the pharmacy. This way at least I get a text message to remind me my prescription has been refilled and it's kind of a backup reminder if I messed up my phone reminder again. Not ideal, but it's better.
My initial concerns, addressed:
I was initially annoyed when my doctor didn't give me enough refills so that I could use them to skip my period. After the uncertainty regarding the schedule, it turns out I really like having my period as reassurance. It's usually very light and only lasts from Friday night to Sunday night. Don't have to worry about taking tampons to work. For now.
He also did not give me the extra samples he promised. In hindsight this is a good thing because they require refrigeration and are stable at room temperature for 3 months. The scientist in me noticed that. I can see it now. Hey, dad. Go grab a beer. Never mind the birth control stored in the fridge. Besides, with Obamacare, it's free so the samples really aren't necessary. And, as I mentioned before, the auto-refill text message from the pharmacy is nice as a backup reminder.
It's never accidentally fallen out, even though I still sometimes get paranoid that I will somehow push it out when I poop. Hasn't happened. For the record.
I've gotten used to the insertion and removal. It's still awkward and uncomfortable, but it's not so bad now. I like that Chris can't feel it. I like that I don't have to take a pill every day, plus the side effects are minimal, except libido and sensation are diminished, as with all hormonal methods I've tried. Merp. But, what can you do? It's the price you pay for no babies.
I figure after I hit 35 my chances for a blood clot/stroke will rise and since my aunt just had a stroke from that exact reason, I will need to look for a hormone-free option. I will probably be really, really sure I don't want kids at that point and the doctor will feel comfortable with tying my tubes or using that Essure method, or some other non-hormonal form of birth control. We'll see what happens with that.
So there you have it. I will probably stick with this method for now not because it's perfect, but because it's the least of all the evils!
I like it. Mostly.
The biggest issue I have is that I sometimes forget about it and I can't remember when it's time to remove it/put in a new one. Which usually results in a panic that sends me to my calendar to remember when I last put it in. NOT ideal. I initially set up a reminder on my phone-- incorrectly-- and I missed my reminder by a week one time. That was panicky and I took a few pregnancy tests because I didn't get my period. But then I got my period. Whew. Birth control schedule is nothing to mess around with. I do not like the potential for forgetfulness.
To help with that, I set up a new reminder on my phone, and I also signed up for auto-refills at the pharmacy. This way at least I get a text message to remind me my prescription has been refilled and it's kind of a backup reminder if I messed up my phone reminder again. Not ideal, but it's better.
My initial concerns, addressed:
I was initially annoyed when my doctor didn't give me enough refills so that I could use them to skip my period. After the uncertainty regarding the schedule, it turns out I really like having my period as reassurance. It's usually very light and only lasts from Friday night to Sunday night. Don't have to worry about taking tampons to work. For now.
He also did not give me the extra samples he promised. In hindsight this is a good thing because they require refrigeration and are stable at room temperature for 3 months. The scientist in me noticed that. I can see it now. Hey, dad. Go grab a beer. Never mind the birth control stored in the fridge. Besides, with Obamacare, it's free so the samples really aren't necessary. And, as I mentioned before, the auto-refill text message from the pharmacy is nice as a backup reminder.
It's never accidentally fallen out, even though I still sometimes get paranoid that I will somehow push it out when I poop. Hasn't happened. For the record.
I've gotten used to the insertion and removal. It's still awkward and uncomfortable, but it's not so bad now. I like that Chris can't feel it. I like that I don't have to take a pill every day, plus the side effects are minimal, except libido and sensation are diminished, as with all hormonal methods I've tried. Merp. But, what can you do? It's the price you pay for no babies.
I figure after I hit 35 my chances for a blood clot/stroke will rise and since my aunt just had a stroke from that exact reason, I will need to look for a hormone-free option. I will probably be really, really sure I don't want kids at that point and the doctor will feel comfortable with tying my tubes or using that Essure method, or some other non-hormonal form of birth control. We'll see what happens with that.
So there you have it. I will probably stick with this method for now not because it's perfect, but because it's the least of all the evils!
waiting for the offer
that may or may not come.
I have to keep reminding myself that if I don't get this, it's okay and another opportunity will come along. Even though I think this one will be really, really good for me. Like really.
No matter where you're coming from or where you're going, the experience is pretty much the same. It's the waiting, the transition, the anxiety, the impatience.
I have to keep reminding myself that if I don't get this, it's okay and another opportunity will come along. Even though I think this one will be really, really good for me. Like really.
No matter where you're coming from or where you're going, the experience is pretty much the same. It's the waiting, the transition, the anxiety, the impatience.
30 August 2015
Spontaneous
Shout out to my sister for cleaning my greasy cheesy briskety kitchen last night. Holy crap that was awesome. Made today's great cleanup so much easier.
Also I have like a 6 month supply of tortilla chips and a ton of beer.
28 August 2015
Comes back around
I posted this several years ago as I started my last job search. Same attitude, chin up. Persevere.
Anxiety < Confidence. On to better things, no regrets. I never make a decision like this until I'm ready.
As always, I hope my hopes happen but in the end, the right thing always happens.
24 August 2015
23 August 2015
i should be paying bills
Well.
The past few weeks have been interesting. May be seeing some major changes around here if things don't turn around, or if the grass actually ends up being greener on the other side.
Because, due to recent events, I finally got motivated. Like, slap me in the face how-dare-you kind of motivated. In fact, the whole entire department has developed the same attitude, which should be interesting. In fact, we've already lost 1 of the new people we just hired.
Hey, man. We're not joking. You really can't treat us like that.
You know, stuff like that. Which leaves me in super-anxiety mode, which is always fun.
We went to Ikea twice this weekend. After I slept in on Saturday until 11am. That's the kind of weekend it was.
Let's see what kind of week it will be.
The past few weeks have been interesting. May be seeing some major changes around here if things don't turn around, or if the grass actually ends up being greener on the other side.
Because, due to recent events, I finally got motivated. Like, slap me in the face how-dare-you kind of motivated. In fact, the whole entire department has developed the same attitude, which should be interesting. In fact, we've already lost 1 of the new people we just hired.
Hey, man. We're not joking. You really can't treat us like that.
You know, stuff like that. Which leaves me in super-anxiety mode, which is always fun.
We went to Ikea twice this weekend. After I slept in on Saturday until 11am. That's the kind of weekend it was.
Let's see what kind of week it will be.
16 August 2015
lately, in pictures.
The morning involved a double batch of waffles, to freeze.
I don't know what happened. I bought these at the same time, put them in the same place, gave them the same amount of water. One is thriving, the other went Poof and dried up in like a day. I'm sorry little rose bush on the right! I hope you survive!
This is the unfortunate state of my craft room. Full of racing stuff and man stuff. Which means pretty much no crafts until the man room is done. Motivation to get it done-- Mama's gotta craft!
Because... here is a picture of the guest/man room before we bought the house: (yes, that's a lot of holes in the wall)
Here is a picture after we moved in and plopped a bed in there...
And here's how it looks now.
I was very skeptical of the color initially, but Chris insisted and I'm glad he did. It looks pretty cool, and I think with the right decor, it will end up being a really cool room. I've been looking at pinterest for color inspiration.
Spent a good part of my morning running errands, including a trip to the dollar store to hopefully find k-cup storage solutions. I didn't find one, but of course it's the dollar store so I managed to find a few things. ;o) I might need to suck it up, brave the Galleria traffic one day, go to the Container Store, be done with it and move on to another project. Ooh, or maybe Ikea has something. I need to do some more research. Or maybe I could build something custom. Because Chris doesn't get nervous at ALL when I use his tools.
I don't know what happened. I bought these at the same time, put them in the same place, gave them the same amount of water. One is thriving, the other went Poof and dried up in like a day. I'm sorry little rose bush on the right! I hope you survive!
This is the unfortunate state of my craft room. Full of racing stuff and man stuff. Which means pretty much no crafts until the man room is done. Motivation to get it done-- Mama's gotta craft!
Because... here is a picture of the guest/man room before we bought the house: (yes, that's a lot of holes in the wall)
Here is a picture after we moved in and plopped a bed in there...
And here's how it looks now.
I was very skeptical of the color initially, but Chris insisted and I'm glad he did. It looks pretty cool, and I think with the right decor, it will end up being a really cool room. I've been looking at pinterest for color inspiration.
Spent a good part of my morning running errands, including a trip to the dollar store to hopefully find k-cup storage solutions. I didn't find one, but of course it's the dollar store so I managed to find a few things. ;o) I might need to suck it up, brave the Galleria traffic one day, go to the Container Store, be done with it and move on to another project. Ooh, or maybe Ikea has something. I need to do some more research. Or maybe I could build something custom. Because Chris doesn't get nervous at ALL when I use his tools.
15 August 2015
today's events
-Edamame and cupcakes from Trader Joe's today after an epic Garden Ridge trip. Except I haven't tried the edamame yet and the frosting on the cupcakes melted in the heat. They were still delicious, even if the sugar was too much. I've definitely noticed a decreased tolerance for sugar again lately. I'm counting that as a good thing.
-The last room in the house is painted!!! Horraaahhhh!!! It only took a year and a half to repaint every single room in the house. Even though the guest/man room is nowhere near being complete, at least that part is done. I forget how sore I get after painting. Also I feel really productive and I'm surprised at how good it looks since I was initially super skeptical about the bright blue color he chose. I think it will end up looking really great. Pictures if I feel like it.
-I got really pissed at Chris today because of, basically, his habit of cleaning off his desk by shoving random papers in drawers. Including my defensive driving paperwork, which I need to finish the course and show back up at court. After about 20 minutes of furious, diligent digging, I found them shoved in a random drawer alongside old lottery tickets and gas receipts. That is not where important papers go. Toot.
-I haven't had wine in about a week, because last week I felt sick on and off, with a rotating combination of a fever, headache, and stomach ache. Today I started my period and ironically because those random ails decided to leave town for the day, it's the best I've felt all week! I also bought 5 bottles of wine because Trader Joe's has a ridiculously large selection of good cheap wine. I haven't had any yet because I really wanted to paint straight lines, but the possibilities of a full wine rack are endless!
-It is nearly midnight and I've probably wound down enough to get ready for bed.
-The last room in the house is painted!!! Horraaahhhh!!! It only took a year and a half to repaint every single room in the house. Even though the guest/man room is nowhere near being complete, at least that part is done. I forget how sore I get after painting. Also I feel really productive and I'm surprised at how good it looks since I was initially super skeptical about the bright blue color he chose. I think it will end up looking really great. Pictures if I feel like it.
-I got really pissed at Chris today because of, basically, his habit of cleaning off his desk by shoving random papers in drawers. Including my defensive driving paperwork, which I need to finish the course and show back up at court. After about 20 minutes of furious, diligent digging, I found them shoved in a random drawer alongside old lottery tickets and gas receipts. That is not where important papers go. Toot.
-I haven't had wine in about a week, because last week I felt sick on and off, with a rotating combination of a fever, headache, and stomach ache. Today I started my period and ironically because those random ails decided to leave town for the day, it's the best I've felt all week! I also bought 5 bottles of wine because Trader Joe's has a ridiculously large selection of good cheap wine. I haven't had any yet because I really wanted to paint straight lines, but the possibilities of a full wine rack are endless!
-It is nearly midnight and I've probably wound down enough to get ready for bed.
13 August 2015
Irk-le
Went in to work early so I could leave early. Instead I have to stay late to cover for the SAME coworker I've had to cover for all summer. Talk about annoyed.
But, at least I can start on this online defensive driving course. I completely put that off and the due date is looming...
But, at least I can start on this online defensive driving course. I completely put that off and the due date is looming...
12 August 2015
Sometimes
I go to H&M on a Wednesday. And magically (for my wallet), I only walked out with 1 thing, under $20.
It's so cute that I wanted to wash it in the sink and wear it tomorrow, but it can wait bc let's get real.
It's so cute that I wanted to wash it in the sink and wear it tomorrow, but it can wait bc let's get real.
10 August 2015
I knew I didn't feel well.
Woke up this morning with a funny stomach and a headache. I considered calling in sick but I didn't feel pukey so I went. It got worse as the day went on and I started feeling achey so when I got home I took my temperature.
Bingo. Fever. I knew I didn't feel well but it hsppens enough that sometimes I think I'm being a hypochondriac.
Trying a bit of chicken soup and after a shower I might feel better. I'm hoping this is the worst of it and tomorrow when I wake up I'll be better.
Bingo. Fever. I knew I didn't feel well but it hsppens enough that sometimes I think I'm being a hypochondriac.
Trying a bit of chicken soup and after a shower I might feel better. I'm hoping this is the worst of it and tomorrow when I wake up I'll be better.
09 August 2015
grateful
I am grateful that I am fortunate enough to have a sister within a short driving distance that will let me hang out at her house all day because I'm lonely at mine. Who face-times my other sister so we can be loud and obnoxious and gloriously connected and inadvertent wake up my brother-in-law. Who keeps gluten free bread in her freezer and microwave mac & cheese in her pantry. Who shares her chocolate. Who changes up her dinner routine to include the GF-est option she planned for the week. That is love, people.
I'm grateful I have a nephew who, even with his 2-year-old attitude, makes me laugh and doesn't mind too much yet when Aunt Nen grabs him for a snuggle. The way he's growing into a little person blows my mind and it's so fun to watch him learn.
I'm grateful for a husband who I love enough to miss when he's gone and who buys me fresh fruit at the farmer's market on the way home even though there's lots of traffic.
Oddly enough, I'm grateful for the dog, because I promised Chris I'd play with her when he was gone. She miraculously made me feel like coming home to an empty house is not quite so empty. Even though she smells and sheds and does other dog-things.
I love that Chris randomly found his lost wedding ring today, and that I found mini roses on sale for $2 a pot, and that Calvin decided to use my phone's voice-activated Google to search Big Rocket Ships and Little Einsteins about 50 million times. Impressed at the toddler-talk translation that google managed to pick up. Hilarity at the mis-interpretations it managed to pick up along the way. I'm sure I'm on some FBI watch list now.
Not so thrilled that tomorrow is Monday and this weekend went by way too fast and it's back to another week of work. But maybe I should also be grateful for that.
I'm grateful I have a nephew who, even with his 2-year-old attitude, makes me laugh and doesn't mind too much yet when Aunt Nen grabs him for a snuggle. The way he's growing into a little person blows my mind and it's so fun to watch him learn.
I'm grateful for a husband who I love enough to miss when he's gone and who buys me fresh fruit at the farmer's market on the way home even though there's lots of traffic.
Oddly enough, I'm grateful for the dog, because I promised Chris I'd play with her when he was gone. She miraculously made me feel like coming home to an empty house is not quite so empty. Even though she smells and sheds and does other dog-things.
I love that Chris randomly found his lost wedding ring today, and that I found mini roses on sale for $2 a pot, and that Calvin decided to use my phone's voice-activated Google to search Big Rocket Ships and Little Einsteins about 50 million times. Impressed at the toddler-talk translation that google managed to pick up. Hilarity at the mis-interpretations it managed to pick up along the way. I'm sure I'm on some FBI watch list now.
Not so thrilled that tomorrow is Monday and this weekend went by way too fast and it's back to another week of work. But maybe I should also be grateful for that.
07 August 2015
solo
I'm lonely and sad. Which is odd.
Normally I'd be thrilled at the chance for some of this rare "me" time. I'd have plans to make the most of it, do some crafts, play silly music on the tv music channels, go shopping, etc.
I think the psychological aspect of dropping him off at the airport has something to do with it. Every other time I've done that, it's to send him off to war, or deployment, or for an extended period of time. This time it was only for a measly few days, but that same sense of emptiness is here.
If he had woken up early and driven off for the weekend, it would have felt different. I had almost forgotten this feeling, and I don't like it showing up now.
Maybe nap will do the trick. I didn't sleep much/well last night and being tired always magnifies negative emotions. Maybe I'll wake up ambitious and renewed.
Normally I'd be thrilled at the chance for some of this rare "me" time. I'd have plans to make the most of it, do some crafts, play silly music on the tv music channels, go shopping, etc.
I think the psychological aspect of dropping him off at the airport has something to do with it. Every other time I've done that, it's to send him off to war, or deployment, or for an extended period of time. This time it was only for a measly few days, but that same sense of emptiness is here.
If he had woken up early and driven off for the weekend, it would have felt different. I had almost forgotten this feeling, and I don't like it showing up now.
Maybe nap will do the trick. I didn't sleep much/well last night and being tired always magnifies negative emotions. Maybe I'll wake up ambitious and renewed.
04 August 2015
03 August 2015
beauty routine, updated
I haven't talked about my beauty routine lately. It's fun to record it and see how it evolves.
When we last spoke about it, I had stopped using all products for fear they would irritate my skin after the rash episode. No creams, makeup, nothing. Now, after help from the dermatologist, the rash is gone but I'm still very cautious of what I put on my face. So far, things are calming down and honestly for the first time in my life my skin is really clear. I'll get a bump here and there but if I don't mess with it, they usually go away.
Cleanser: Cetaphil. Every week on Sunday I add a bit of baking soda to gently exfoliate. Like I said zits aren't really a problem, but blackheads on my nose continuously mock me.
Moisturizer: I used Simple Day/Night Cream for a while until I ran out, and I loved it. It's really light and feels good. However, I really like wearing an SPF during the day so the dermatologist recommended Cetaphil Oil Control with SPF. I used to wear this a while back and loved it, so I had no problem going back.
(At night, I'm using the Simple Rich Moisturizer because it was on sale. I like it, but it's a bit heavy for the summertime. When I run out I'll go back to using the Day/Night Cream.)
Treatments: I'm still using the prescription Ovace cream from the original rash treatment on the spot if I get a zit. It's really thick and forms kind of a waxy coating over the skin after you rub it in and it works great.
Makeup: As far as makeup goes, I don't feel like I have to wear it as much anymore now that my skin is less zitty. My skin tone is still a bit uneven, but honestly with the summer heat everything would slide right off anyway. I might dust a bit of Chanel Double Perfection over my face because I will forever love that stuff, or spot-conceal a zit but that's about it. Standard drugstore mascara, nothing fancy.
Lip Color: Generally I don't wear lip color. I've tried over the years to get into it, but it's just not me. That being said, I pulled out a Tarte Lip Stain Pencil that I got in a birchbox long ago, and I have been wearing it almost daily. It makes me look refreshed and put together and I swear it's the perfect color for summer. I will probably buy more when it runs out.
When we last spoke about it, I had stopped using all products for fear they would irritate my skin after the rash episode. No creams, makeup, nothing. Now, after help from the dermatologist, the rash is gone but I'm still very cautious of what I put on my face. So far, things are calming down and honestly for the first time in my life my skin is really clear. I'll get a bump here and there but if I don't mess with it, they usually go away.
Cleanser: Cetaphil. Every week on Sunday I add a bit of baking soda to gently exfoliate. Like I said zits aren't really a problem, but blackheads on my nose continuously mock me.
Moisturizer: I used Simple Day/Night Cream for a while until I ran out, and I loved it. It's really light and feels good. However, I really like wearing an SPF during the day so the dermatologist recommended Cetaphil Oil Control with SPF. I used to wear this a while back and loved it, so I had no problem going back.
(At night, I'm using the Simple Rich Moisturizer because it was on sale. I like it, but it's a bit heavy for the summertime. When I run out I'll go back to using the Day/Night Cream.)
Treatments: I'm still using the prescription Ovace cream from the original rash treatment on the spot if I get a zit. It's really thick and forms kind of a waxy coating over the skin after you rub it in and it works great.
Makeup: As far as makeup goes, I don't feel like I have to wear it as much anymore now that my skin is less zitty. My skin tone is still a bit uneven, but honestly with the summer heat everything would slide right off anyway. I might dust a bit of Chanel Double Perfection over my face because I will forever love that stuff, or spot-conceal a zit but that's about it. Standard drugstore mascara, nothing fancy.
Lip Color: Generally I don't wear lip color. I've tried over the years to get into it, but it's just not me. That being said, I pulled out a Tarte Lip Stain Pencil that I got in a birchbox long ago, and I have been wearing it almost daily. It makes me look refreshed and put together and I swear it's the perfect color for summer. I will probably buy more when it runs out.
02 August 2015
New and not so new things
New things:
-Contacts. New Rx, more comfortable. Also got new frames which is huge bc that hasn't happened in a very long time.
-Curtains. Got tired of looking at the grungy hardware on the dining room blinds so I put up curtains. Pretty, but maybe too pretty. I like a shabby chic country vibe but these may be too much for me. I might end up putting the curtains back in the kitchen, and installing some pretty molding like this. Normally the set of blinds comes with something similar, but these came with the house and didn't have any. Hence my problem.
Not so new things:
-The electric bill has been high (duh) and to hopefully save a few bucks and give the old A/C unit a bit of a rest, we programmed the thermostat a few degrees higher. I definitely notice it. Especially when I come home and try to cook dinner and I literally start sweating in the kitchen. Hence the boycott on kitchen appliances lately.
-The stress level at work has also been high lately, leading to anxious dreams, including dreams about my teeth falling out. Always a sign that things need to chill TF out. This summer has been especially rough and I need a vacation so damn bad. Not a day off. A vacation. I'm not sure I can hold off until January's potential trip to tropical paradise.
-Tummy is finally starting to calm itself after last week's glutening. Although the accompanying canker sore decided to hang around for a while. Fortunately, I've found that warm salt water helps a bit.
It's bound to be another busy week, and Chris is in his finals week of summer school/ preparing for a big camping trip, so here we go.
-Contacts. New Rx, more comfortable. Also got new frames which is huge bc that hasn't happened in a very long time.
-Curtains. Got tired of looking at the grungy hardware on the dining room blinds so I put up curtains. Pretty, but maybe too pretty. I like a shabby chic country vibe but these may be too much for me. I might end up putting the curtains back in the kitchen, and installing some pretty molding like this. Normally the set of blinds comes with something similar, but these came with the house and didn't have any. Hence my problem.
Not so new things:
-The electric bill has been high (duh) and to hopefully save a few bucks and give the old A/C unit a bit of a rest, we programmed the thermostat a few degrees higher. I definitely notice it. Especially when I come home and try to cook dinner and I literally start sweating in the kitchen. Hence the boycott on kitchen appliances lately.
-The stress level at work has also been high lately, leading to anxious dreams, including dreams about my teeth falling out. Always a sign that things need to chill TF out. This summer has been especially rough and I need a vacation so damn bad. Not a day off. A vacation. I'm not sure I can hold off until January's potential trip to tropical paradise.
-Tummy is finally starting to calm itself after last week's glutening. Although the accompanying canker sore decided to hang around for a while. Fortunately, I've found that warm salt water helps a bit.
It's bound to be another busy week, and Chris is in his finals week of summer school/ preparing for a big camping trip, so here we go.
28 July 2015
Roll with it
When your husband accidentally glutens the burgers, you make lunch meat wraps with the bomb ass Costco cheese you just bought and get over it.
My new goal, inspired 100% by new tennis shoes, is to work out once a week. I set my alarm for 3 days a week but most of the time it gets turned off. But once a week= So far, so good. On week 2.
Which is when my hair goes into a high bun for work bc it's wet and I'm not about to try blow drying it after my shower bc summer. Oddly enough, everyone at work loves it. Evidence:
Do I really look like that? I suppose I probably do. I look tired.
My pants fit better but I dunno maybe they just fit better because I basically spent the months of May and June walking around at work. SO. MUCH. TRAINING.
Anyway I forgot what else I was going to say.
My new goal, inspired 100% by new tennis shoes, is to work out once a week. I set my alarm for 3 days a week but most of the time it gets turned off. But once a week= So far, so good. On week 2.
Which is when my hair goes into a high bun for work bc it's wet and I'm not about to try blow drying it after my shower bc summer. Oddly enough, everyone at work loves it. Evidence:
Do I really look like that? I suppose I probably do. I look tired.
My pants fit better but I dunno maybe they just fit better because I basically spent the months of May and June walking around at work. SO. MUCH. TRAINING.
Anyway I forgot what else I was going to say.
21 July 2015
Knob.
You know you're old when things like fancy new doorknobs are exciting. Behold, the last new doorknob in all its fancy glory!
20 July 2015
19 July 2015
shopping highlights
When it's your sister's birthday, sometimes you spend the day hitting up garage sales and thrift stores and stuffing tamales in your face while walking between stores in 100-degree heat, and having a ridiculous blast.
I scored some fantastic deals. Do you wanna see? Of course you do.
Plate rack- $1
Moustachioed sun- $2
Metal (ice) bucket- $2
Neat old oiler can for the hubs, peace offering for staying out allll day spending money :o)- $8
And, my most exciting find, this chair, $20
Coincidentally, my mom and sister found fantastic pieces at that same store, and we all walked out giddy on serious shopping highs, with our purchases slung over our shoulders.
About the chair. I've been wanting a cute little chair to put in that corner for two reasons:
1. Our living room is an awkward mismatch of one sectional + a bunch of little tables. SO MANY TABLES. ONE AWKWARD COUCH. Sure, the karaoke stage offers seating when we have guests, but that's ghetto. Since the price was right the girly little chair came home!
2. My nightly dilemma. The lamp light doesn't quite reach the couch when Chris is watching TV at night and I'm trying to read, so I've been needing a reading spot. A side table is necessary to hold the lamp (and a glass of wine, duh). The smallest table (okay, cabinet that used to be my pantry that now holds dvds that we can't watch because we don't have a dvd player) is a tad too wide, but it will do for now.
That tiny change required a bit of rearranging. I dragged a bunch of tables around while Chris was napping and here's how things ended up:
The giant useful coffee table that always got in the way and spontaneously gathered clutter was moved to the karaoke stage. In its spot went grandma's round side table and now the couch is so much more accessible.
The other side table that was hidden behind the couch got moved to the other side of the fireplace. It still sticks out but at least now it's got a function until we find a better place for it.
Still kind of awkward because the couch blocks the windows and severely restricts the creativity, but the flow is a bit better.
Where did the giant useful coffee table go?
Funny how an afternoon of shopping ends up with the room being rearranged. Chris is such a good sport and pretty much rolls with all of my random redecorating. I wonder if he even notices the small things I move around simply to see if they look better in a different spot? I should start to keep a record.
I scored some fantastic deals. Do you wanna see? Of course you do.
Plate rack- $1
Moustachioed sun- $2
Metal (ice) bucket- $2
Neat old oiler can for the hubs, peace offering for staying out allll day spending money :o)- $8
And, my most exciting find, this chair, $20
Coincidentally, my mom and sister found fantastic pieces at that same store, and we all walked out giddy on serious shopping highs, with our purchases slung over our shoulders.
Hey, Roomba
About the chair. I've been wanting a cute little chair to put in that corner for two reasons:
1. Our living room is an awkward mismatch of one sectional + a bunch of little tables. SO MANY TABLES. ONE AWKWARD COUCH. Sure, the karaoke stage offers seating when we have guests, but that's ghetto. Since the price was right the girly little chair came home!
2. My nightly dilemma. The lamp light doesn't quite reach the couch when Chris is watching TV at night and I'm trying to read, so I've been needing a reading spot. A side table is necessary to hold the lamp (and a glass of wine, duh). The smallest table (okay, cabinet that used to be my pantry that now holds dvds that we can't watch because we don't have a dvd player) is a tad too wide, but it will do for now.
That tiny change required a bit of rearranging. I dragged a bunch of tables around while Chris was napping and here's how things ended up:
BEFORE
The giant useful coffee table that always got in the way and spontaneously gathered clutter was moved to the karaoke stage. In its spot went grandma's round side table and now the couch is so much more accessible.
The other side table that was hidden behind the couch got moved to the other side of the fireplace. It still sticks out but at least now it's got a function until we find a better place for it.
AFTER
Still kind of awkward because the couch blocks the windows and severely restricts the creativity, but the flow is a bit better.
Where did the giant useful coffee table go?
BEFORE
He moved moved to the karoke stage to hold the tv since the
temporary shelf we were using was starting to bow and we haven't made
much effort to find a table that fits the space. Plus it hides the
obnoxious cords better.
AFTER
Funny how an afternoon of shopping ends up with the room being rearranged. Chris is such a good sport and pretty much rolls with all of my random redecorating. I wonder if he even notices the small things I move around simply to see if they look better in a different spot? I should start to keep a record.
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