check and check

I cheaped out again and didn't buy the ice cream maker I've been wanting at Wal Mart. I went originally to buy a new litter box with higher sides. My retardo cat will sit in the box but somehow manage to pee right off the side of it. I would get one of the massive covered ones but my bathroom is very small. Besides, she only pees in it when she's locked in and can't go outside.

Anyway I've wanted an ice cream maker for SO long and I keep waiting for it to go on sale or something. I'm cheap.

I crossed another couple of projects off my list. I re-stuffed and re-covered the cushion on a chair I've had for a while, so now you can sit on it again. Yay for being able to sit on chairs.

I cleaned out the junk cabinet and now it's all organized. I did laundry, which my cat is now laying on getting all full of fur, and I also cleaned out my other cabinets and threw out a lot of food I knew I wasn't going to eat or had gotten stale and old. I converted my old dorm fridge into a makeshift pantry and bought canisters to keep some of my flours in so that there weren't twenty bags of flour all over the place. That part was fun. I had a couple but I only bought three new ones. I want more!

I was talking with Missy the other night about all my projects I want to do this summer, but of course now I've forgotten them all. She's supposed to email me and remind me, haha.

I know cake decorating classes and learning some Polish are on the list. So is cleaning off my bookcase and organizing my files that are all shoved in a file cabinet with no rhyme or reason. There's also some fun stuff, like getting a group to go mini golfing and rock climbing, and there will probably be another bonfire.

I don't want to put it all off thinking that I'll have plenty of time to do it, because before I know it summer will be over. So, let's make this summer productive. This one is already moreso than the last, and it's only June!

fun with drama

Somebody tried to insult me yesterday, like really tried. And I just laughed. I seriously felt absolutely no offense and felt the entire conversation was ridiculous.

Ashley, you'll appreciate this drama recap :o)

So a few weeks ago Robert made a comment on Ashley's myspace. No big deal, really, but then he got too chummy with the "How's a member of my extended family doing?" comment and that kinda pissed me off. What arrogance. See, he won't remain friends with me but will be buddies with my family? So I childishly made a comment on Ash's space about how annoying it was. Whatever. It was satisfying.

About a week ago I get a message from him but I was just going to ignore it.

But, I mentioned it to Chris and he suggested I read it. So I did. And I got even more annoyed. He basically defended himself and failed to acknowledge why I was annoyed, so I replied telling him why I was so annoyed and that he was no longer part of the family. Duh.

Then I get a big long email from him that I read, but don't remember what it said. I didn't reply because I was so fed up with his crap at this point and didn't want to argue back and forth with him.

Fast forward to the next evening. I get a text message. At this point, it's redundant. I was not wanting to extend this conversation any more and did not want to talk to him. But I read it. The message: something along the lines of "I'll delete your family from my myspace if you say that we're cool."

Pause for a moment. I see his motives now. He wants to remain friendly and not have me pissed at him. Not be the bad guy. Well, I'm ready to burn a bridge and don't really want to give him that comfortable satisfaction of being "okay."

So I reply saying that I don't care what he does. It's whatever.

He replies with some french shit and I ask what he meant and he replies with "we're ok then."

Um, no. I tell him we're not okay and agree with him that we should not talk anymore. I mean, if we're not talking, we're not "okay." Another Duh.

I get a couple more messages that I don't read and just delete.

Then I get a text message from him calling me a cracker bitch. (Wtf? LOL) Telling me to have fun drawing blood and being in debt all my life. Then, and this cracked me up: he goes, "oh, and I can eat wheat."

Now, I'm sure he thought long and hard about how to best insult me, and that's what he came up with?? I actually sat there and giggled at the absurdity of it all. Especially the last part. It might be slightly insulting if my sisters didn't tease me about it all the time, and if I hadn't actually realized that yeah, normal people CAN eat wheat. Derr.

I replied with: "The best part is, you know I am happier than you will ever be."

And that finally shut him up.

Anyway the whole thing was ridiculous and made me thank my lucky stars that I was smart enough to get away from him. Like seriously I think about how lucky I am now and how miserable I'd be if I was still stuck with him.

And not just because he annoys me, or because he's an egotistical mama's boy. And not because he dared to lay a hand on me in anger. Because he was a catalyst for the largest turning point in my life. But that's a story for another day.

gorge

I love how I just got done working out so I come home and eat half a pan of rice krispy treats.

It doesn't count. Kuz I just worked out... haha

dreams

I didn't work so it's seemed like the weekend all week.

You know what really annoys me? Businesses you find in the yellow pages or from google that don't exist anymore. Take, for instance, the wild goose chases Chris and I went on, looking for a mini golf place and a gluten free bakery. Both: closed. And I had so gotten my hopes up about the bakery since there are like, NONE in Houston.

I hear about all these other cities that have gluten free pizza delivery and bakeries and little cafes here and there, but the nation's fourth largest city has next to nothing.

I'm not complaining about the grocery stores and availability of gluten free ingredients. I'm complaining about the restaurants. When I go out to eat it's hit and miss. Sometimes people are understanding and helpful and sometimes they get pissy and act like it's such a huge deal if I ask about the food. And it's not like I'm rude or ask a billion questions when the restaurant's packed and they're busy. Even then I don't completely trust the food, just because 'what if.' It's very discouraging and I feel like a pain in the ass.

It's been an idea of mine for a long time to open up a bakery one day, which of course has now been converted to a gluten-free bakery dream, and Chris made the observation that since there are none in Houston it would be a good idea to open one here. It's an idea, but who has the time and/or resources for that? I certainly don't, at least not right now. But it would be super sweet. Imagine a place where people with these food issues could confidently go into a restaurant, not get hassled, and actually order something straight off the menu with no worries that it will make them sick.

I hate complaining about something instead of doing something about it. I don't know, I love the idea, but I have to start looking seriously into the med tech school applications. Gotta graduate first, haha.

radio

I was sitting here enjoying my morning coffee when I became aware of a noise that was out of the ordinary. I was kinda low, so I looked around, put my ear to my laptop, and then to the computer speaker. Now, the computer speakers are unplugged from my laptop, but I could hear something coming from them! Somehow they were picking up a radio talk show, low and staticky but definitely there. Kinda strange.

wormholes

I check my email and surf the internet while I eat breakfast. Today's is a bagel egg sandwich and a couple snickerdoodles washed down with coffee. Mmm. I love it when I bake. More importantly, I love it when I bake and it tastes good.

So I was thinking last night, but was way too tired to actually splurt it out on the internet.

I have a lot of things to get over. To come to terms with. To let go.

I mean, I'm normally a "whatever" type of person. It happened, so be it, let's move on and not dwell. Big and small. But some things are harder to shake off. Whether they've had an extra-profound impact on me or taught me an especially valuable life lesson, or maybe just scared the hell out of me. I don't know why there are some things that are more difficult to be okay with. To not have the same reaction to over and over again depsite my wanting to change.

I'm a big fan of reality. Reality has gotten me through several fantasy-fueled heartaches and hills. The first time you accept it, it stings. But after you keep reminding yourself, it turns into a dull ache and finally it's just a fact of life that you don't think about anymore.

See? I have these processes that I put myself through, mentally. They get me through tough times and for the most part they work. There are several stubborn things that are taking longer, though. Little things that pop up now and then and all of a sudden I'm sucked back through the wormhole to the past.

These things that I speak of, vaguely so I don't have to follow with a long story having to explain them, are largely unjustifiable. When I remind myself of the reality, my fears are not backed. So why do I keep returning to the same conclusion? It's a glitch in the mental process formed by extra-strong emotions. I hope it's not intuition.

Either way, only time will heal and only time will tell. In the meantime I have to go against my natural inclination to over-analyze and instead go with the flow. I've been getting better at that whole "go with the flow" thing.

lake fun

Things have been interesting lately, but I'd rather not write about it. Let's just move on with life, shall we?

Yesterday I went with Chris to Lake Conroe. A good friend of his that he races with lives up there and invited us to come play for the day. I was hesitant to go for a few reasons, but I went after all for another few reasons. And, as usual, I'm glad I went.

They have a "party" boat and we took it out on the lake for most of the day, stopping to swim a bit. At first I was like, "hoo boy, a boat" because I tend to get motion sickness, but I got used to it pretty quickly. (thank God!)

It was a pretty mellow, relaxing day. I mean, how can you not be relaxed listening to Jimmy Buffet and Reggae in the middle of a lake on a breezy sunny day?? Mark is about my parents' age, so the crowd (about 8 people) was a little older, with the exception of his teenage daughter and her friend who laid out and texted the whole day, LOL. So there was no one getting belligerent drunk and being an ass.

love the flag

I got to drive the boat for a while and I also caught a fish! They let out the line behind the boat as we were going and one got caught. I reeled it in and Chris took it off the hook. I'd never done that before, so it was really exciting! We threw him back, though, because we weren't going to eat him or anything.

I forgot to give him a name. That's Chris' toe.

And I was smart and slathered sunscreen all over my pasty self and managed not to get very burnt, unlike everyone else. I stayed in the shade and kept myself hydrated, too. Yay for being smart and taking care of myself!

It was a good day, and I know Chris had a really good time. I think he needed to relax more than I did! He got a pretty good dose of sun and was nodding off after we ate dinner, but in that good happy way.