balls.

Happy New year!

I rang in the new year on the back porch with Chris and my parents. We had plans to go out, but my body had other plans.

Friday I started feeling some pain in my wisdom tooth. I've had pain before when it initially started coming in, so I didn't think anything of it. Then, the pain got worse. At the end of the night it was absolutely unbearable. Chris took me home, stuffed some medicine down my throat, and tucked me in.

Saturday morning I woke up in considerable pain with one side of my face swollen. I called about 15 dentists, and finally found one that was open and willing to fit me in. Considering my dentist anxiety, you know my desperation. Also, I know you don't mess around with mouth infections. They can easily turn deadly.

I dragged Chris out of bed and made him go with me, and the dentist wasn't so bad. He said that the gum around the halfway-out widsom tooth was infected, and had spread towards the adjacent tooth and my cheek.

He gave me two pretty powerful antibiotics and some tylenol with codeine. I was hoping they'd work immediately, but that wasn't the case. I spent all day New Year's Eve pretty much out of commission, trying to eat things that didn't require chewing, but I mostly was just in pain and hungry and trying not to be too whiney.

Needless to say I was pretty disappointed.

It's the last weekend I get to spend with Chris before he leaves, and I spent it miserable.

I didn't get to fully enjoy two parties that I was looking forward to, and overall it was just crap. I was looking forward to going out, having some fun, making some memories.

He, of course, is awesome. Taking care of me, being a good sport about everything. I am so damn lucky and I felt so bad I ruined his weekend too. We had so much more that we wanted to do while he was home, but just ran out of time.

Today at about noon the meds started to work, and I started feeling better, only about 3 hours before Chris had to leave. I have the knack for getting sick at the worst possible times.

So bummed about how this weekend went. Still feeling crappy. Not in the best of spirits. Fuck, this is hard.

But, it's no attitude to have at the beginning of a new year. So I'll try to shake it off. Focus on the blessings.

Even with the rocky start, I know 2012 will be a good one.

(And also it will be the year that I bite the bullet and finally get all my dental work taken care of. Eff this shiz.)

Hunger Games- my thoughts

So now that I have a Kindle, I have been reading books in record time. Finished the Hunger Games books.

I thought they were entertaining, but, as usual, overrated. Especially the last book.

I think the thing that bugged me the most is how... whiny... the main character is. She's not a very strong female character. I kept waiting for her to man up, stop feeling sorry for herself, and kick some ass. She was pretty much forced to kick any of the ass she did kick, with people coddling her the whole way.
The way she keeps blaming all the deaths on herself... it's a freaking revolution, bitch. People die in revolutions. It was going to happen eventually anyway. They are not all directly related to you. So stop being such a weenie whiner and start being a leader.

And then I got to thinking, maybe that's what the writer wanted- to portray the other side of this type of character. To shed light on how hard it is so be in that kind of situation and still care about and worry about your loved ones, and how a support system is crucial.

But anyway, the books were entertaining and, apparently, thought-provoking.

be nice to people

So this is Christmas... Eve. When did this sneak up on us?

Things are new this year. We're starting new traditions. I have to work tomorrow, and so does my brother in law. Instead of waking up hungover at the ass-crack of dawn and tearing through presents with one hand and sipping spiked coffee with the other, we are waiting until the evening to have a nice dinner and open gifts. How very adult-ful of us.

It's a little sad that this is the first year we have to break tradition. But, it was bound to happen eventually, with all of us growing up and moving away and whatnot.

Instead of feeling the Christmas cheer, or even greed, I find myself a little detached- standing back from it all and just feeling incredibly grateful. I'm surrounded by an un-falteringly wonderful family, an amazing fiancee who returned from a war zone unharmed and ready to marry the shit out of me, understanding friends, supportive coworkers...

There are plenty of shithead people in this world, but there are also a ton of incredible people. It feels like I'm surrounded by all of them.

And I feel like I don't deserve it.

I'm not an especially kind person. I used to be, before the stresses of the world made me crabby and tired, and, overall, I slowly started caring a lot less about people. I used to be the girl that was always smiling, always had energy, always went out of my way to help or listen, always ready to give, always had a way to brighten someone's day.

Now, I'm the one who's flicking you off when you're driving too slow, scowling when you've held up the line at the grocery store, blowing you off when you need a hand. Holy crap, when did I become such a bitch? What happened to the kindness of stangers?? When and why did I become this person?

I was browsing pinterest the other day and caught this: 

The pinner had placed it next to her door so she'd see it on her way out every day, as kind of a daily motivation.

And I thought of how I'd change things if I had that near my door. I certainly work hard, but I'm not especially nice to people. I've noticed the harder I work, the less nice I am to people. And I also decided that there's no reason I can't work hard and also be nice to people. It's just got to become a habit again.

Maybe it's time to re-learn how to be one of those incredible people that I'm surrounded by.

sickly

Do I know my body, or do I know by body? I knew I was going to get sick.

I woke up this morning about 30 minutes before my alarm went off, in a state of fever-induced shivering. Still, I forced myself out of bed and figured that I might feel better once I got to work and started moving around.

Nope. Awful decision. I spent the most miserable hour and a half of my life at work before my boss got Andrea to come in- on her day off. I felt so bad making her come in. But I haven't been this sick in a long, long time.

When I got home I took my temperature (103) and fell into bed. I woke up a few hours later and took some medicine, and I could literally feel the heat leaving my body as the fever slowly went down.

I'm feeling ridiculously better now that it's under 100, and I'm not sure if it's run its course or if the medicine is just still working. I still can't shake this headache though.

I figure it's just a random bug that I happened to catch. Hopefully it's a 24-hour thing, because no one wants to be sick around Christmas.

hey ya

Christmas party at work today. I may bitch about my job, but at the end of the day I've got some amazing coworkers and a kickass boss.

I feel like I'm definitely going to get sick. That achey, tired, slightly headachey feeling that comes the day before you get a massive cold or flu. Drinking tons of fluids and plopping some airborne into my drinks, lots of vitamin C. I don't want to get sick!

Reading the second Hunger Games book on my new Kindle. I love that thing. One-handed reading and page-turning. Diggin' it.

Still smitten every time I get a glimpse of my ring. Reaching for something, making a turn in the car, putting it back on after a day in the lab. I'll just notice the sparkle when I'm doing everyday things.
It's not only that it's absolutely stinkin' gorgeous, and sparkly and so damn perfect, it's the thought behind it, the idea that it represents. Still takes a few seconds to sink in. Gah, I'm so happy. I'm so lucky to be so happy.

Anyway, enough shmoop.

I just overheard my mom talking to my sister: "This year is going to be epic. People are going to be going apeshit over this 2012 thing. I can't wait to see all the crazy people!"

here & there

You know it's time to shave your legs when your boyfriend  fiancee gets a good look at them and says, "Good Lord, woman!" To my credit, this is the first time he's noticed and I haven't shaved them in several months.

Like most of us, I've been trying to get my Christmas shopping done. I've still got a few stragglers, mostly because I have no idea what to get a few people. I usually don't have this much trouble trying to find gifts.

Nothing much else new. Only been working 3 days a week so there are no crazy work stories. Been spending as much time as I can with Chris and it's so nice. This morning I woke up sandwiched between him and Pumpkin and feeling quite content. I could get used to that.

Meh, have to get up for work tomorrow. Meh.

oh, happy day.

This weekend was fantastic.

Chris came home a day early and surprised me. I came home from work Thursday and when I opened the door, I saw a camouflage backpack on the floor and some boots. And just like that, he was home.

We planned a trip to San Antonio just to get away and take a mini-vacation. So we spent some time on the riverwalk and had a fun, relaxing weekend. It was like he never went away; again, he just fit right back in where he was supposed to.

And, also, because it's late and all of the details aren't that important anyway...

Someone got engaged this weekend!

Completely caught me off guard, wasn't expecting it. Absolutely thrilled.
I adore that man, for so many reasons.

Requisite picture of the bling:

click to enlarge-- do it!

The picture does not do it justice. It's absolutely gorgeous. I love it, it's perfect. I never want to take it off. It sparkles like a holiday. Holy crap, I'm engaged. I love it.

My family's reactions were awesome. Amazing. Champagne on the back porch on a Sunday night- that's how we roll.

I just... no words are happy enough to describe this.