You know what?

You know what? Literally in the last 48 hours I've realized something. Plans are made to be messed up.
If every plan I ever made went through as I thought it would without a hitch, I would be in a very different place, a very different person.

The thing about plans is, they're always changeable. And that's a good thing. We adapt.

See, I made plans for how my life would go a long time ago. Some have gone through to completion, albeit with a few detours, and some have just flat-out tanked. Sometimes, I simply changed my mind. No matter what the journey or the outcome, or how I reacted at the time, I always eventually look back and feel glad that it happened that way.

Sometimes when plans change, the choice is made for you. Sometimes, you make that choice.

Yeah, I had specific plans about how my wedding would go.

But you know what? I chose to change those plans. He may have changed my plans when he chose to propose, but I'm the one who chose to say yes when he asked me to marry him. (As if I had a choice- I don't know if you can call it a choice when every fiber of your being screams, "Hell motherfucking YES!" while all your voice can do is whisper, "Yeah.")

I knew my plans would not be able to stay the same. And that's okay. I'm pretty darn happy with that choice. I chose to adapt my plans to meld with his. I feel like that's part of what marriage is.

And yeah I had a moment of pity when I got overwhelmed and thought back about my plans. About the traditional things you do to prepare for a wedding. When I think about it a little more, I don't really care about going through the motions. I think it's mostly about missing him, and nothing can change that.

Because you know what? I'm thrilled to be planning my simple little courthouse wedding, with my simple lace dress, with my favorite people in the world around me, and my "something blue" by my side. I'm so damn excited I can hardly stand it. I get to marry him.

I don't feel like I'm missing anything. If all the other stuff happens, like when we "plan" to have a big wedding in a couple years, that's cool. If not, that's cool too. It's not a requirement for me. It's just a plan. To be honest, I'm looking forward to living my life with him more than anything else.

I'm starting a new chapter of my life in a few months. That wasn't always the plan. But I'll tell you right now, if given the chance, I wouldn't change any of it.