snow dayyyy

We got proper snow in Houston for the first time since I've lived here. And the first snow at all (for us) at the river.

Even though we're further south, we got enough snow to make it worth a trip outside. Some evidence:

I was thankful for our ski clothes at this point

We had to do a lot of prep to make sure the pipes didn't freeze (the well is more complicated than city water), and we prepared for the power to go out. It did, but not for a long period of time. Thank goodness, because even though we ran it a few days prior to test it, the generator wouldn't start. It was too cold and the battery died. Lesson learned.

don't move

Ok so recovering from surgery kinda hurts.

I woke up post-op and the first words out of my mouth were "pain" followed by "nausea." Both were addressed immediately and I was feeling much better within a few minutes. The rest of the day was spent in bed with little of that pain and nausea sprinkled in. Nothing major; I felt ok as long as I laid still and did nothing.

Woke up the next day feeling great. Of course that means I overdid it, moved around too much, and today I'm hurting.

There are 3 incisions, 2 above my hip bones, and one in my belly button, each about an inch long. No stitches, just glue. The two side wounds don't hurt at all; it's the belly button one that's really sore.

Laughing, coughing, sneezing... pretty much all movement causes pain. So again, I feel ok as long as I lay still and do nothing.

So I'll raise my glass of water and pop another painkiller to that idea. Cheers!

fixed

Today when I walked through our pathologist's office, I took a peek at tomorrow's surgery schedule.

Sure enough, I'm on it.

After struggling with birth control and its various side effects for my entire adult life, I've finally decided to do it. The official phrase used on my FMLA paperwork was "desires sterilization." You bet I do.

I've never had the deep desire to become a parent. Realistically, I assumed I would marry someone who wanted kids and I'd go along with it. I figured my clock would eventually start ticking and one day I might want a kid, but I was never excited about it.

Then I got older, married someone who also does not want children, and no child-bearing urges have hit. At 32, I know that I do not want children. It's not a realistic idea for me.

My former gynecologist did not like the idea, due to my age and lack of children.
But my current gynecologist is more understanding.

The thought brings me relief.
My aunt's contraceptive-induced stroke a few years ago really freaked me out. Because basically I was headed down the same path.
Then I started worrying about the long-term effects of pumping all of these hormones into my body. Which combined with the anxiety brought on every month by the small chance that I could have conceived.

I might struggle with the transition of stopping birth control, and the recovery period might suck, but I welcome it.

beasties.

Last night I made perhaps one of the top 3 best decisions I've ever made in my life.

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to openly talk about uncomfortable medical-type sexual things.

A couple of days ago I started feeling some discomfort in my lady area. My first thought was to go online and buy some revenge crabs because dear old hubs managed to pass on something disgusting.

To confirm my suspicions, I grabbed a sterile swab at work and collected a wet prep specimen in the bathroom. Crouched in the bathroom with my scrubs around my ankles swabbing my hoo-ha was not my finest moment.

I sat down at the microscope, expecting to find something to make my blood boil, but as my search yielded no parasitic flagellates or diplococci, I was surprised to notice a few little budding yeasts.

Son of a bitch, I had a yeast infection. Yuck.

The last time I had one of these was nearly ten years ago when I stopped eating gluten. I had no idea what it was, got tested for every STD under the sun, again tried to blame Chris, and it was a horribly long and uncomfortable process.

I'm not the type of person who regularly gets yeast infections after antibiotics, swimming, hormone changes, etc. So what triggered this one? I'd love to find out and avoid it for the rest of my life.

I have a theory that the Nuva Ring may be a factor, since I take it out during adult fun-time and rarely care where I fling it. I probably set it down in a yucky place and didn't rinse it off well enough before re-insertion. Who knows.

On to treatment. Easy drugstore purchase. The problem with this, besides the obvious, is that the treatment is much worse than the disease. It's messy and I think I'm allergic to the medicine because the discomfort gets much, much worse after I've applied it.

Nevertheless, I took the medicine because I really had no choice, and woke up to intense discomfort a few hours later. Nothing helped. So, in a moment of desperation, I grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer, put it in a plastic bag, and tucked it inside my undies. Again, not my finest moment.

But oh, it worked. Immediately. Calmed the swelling, itching, discomfort, you name it. Crotch ice packs are the best. The relief was so welcome that I am officially dubbing it one of the best decisions I've ever made.

You are welcome for hearing all about my yeast infection. Ugh. Yuck. It grosses me out.

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better today. Cheers.

Odd things in the fridge

I had to switch pharmacies because CVS isn't a "participating pharmacy" in our new insurance plan.

So I switched it to the local Randalls, since it's the next closest pharmacy. When I picked up the package it was larger than normal. I questioned that they had filled the correct prescription. They looked at me weird and said yes.

When I opened the package, I found they gave me a 3 month supply. Baller! Especially bc I'm technically out of refills so I expected a hassle. Definitely cool, man.

So that's the story of why there is a box of Nuva Ring sitting on the door of my fridge next to the pickles and bbq sauce.

NuvaRing Update

It's been about a year (ish) since I've been on the NuvaRing. Here are my observations.

I like it. Mostly.

The biggest issue I have is that I sometimes forget about it and I can't remember when it's time to remove it/put in a new one. Which usually results in a panic that sends me to my calendar to remember when I last put it in. NOT ideal. I initially set up a reminder on my phone-- incorrectly-- and I missed my reminder by a week one time. That was panicky and I took a few pregnancy tests because I didn't get my period. But then I got my period. Whew. Birth control schedule is nothing to mess around with. I do not like the potential for forgetfulness.

To help with that, I set up a new reminder on my phone, and I also signed up for auto-refills at the pharmacy. This way at least I get a text message to remind me my prescription has been refilled and it's kind of a backup reminder if I messed up my phone reminder again. Not ideal, but it's better.

My initial concerns, addressed:

I was initially annoyed when my doctor didn't give me enough refills so that I could use them to skip my period. After the uncertainty regarding the schedule, it turns out I really like having my period as reassurance. It's usually very light and only lasts from Friday night to Sunday night. Don't have to worry about taking tampons to work. For now.

He also did not give me the extra samples he promised. In hindsight this is a good thing because they require refrigeration and are stable at room temperature for 3 months. The scientist in me noticed that. I can see it now. Hey, dad. Go grab a beer. Never mind the birth control stored in the fridge. Besides, with Obamacare, it's free so the samples really aren't necessary. And, as I mentioned before, the auto-refill text message from the pharmacy is nice as a backup reminder.

It's never accidentally fallen out, even though I still sometimes get paranoid that I will somehow push it out when I poop. Hasn't happened. For the record.

I've gotten used to the insertion and removal. It's still awkward and uncomfortable, but it's not so bad now. I like that Chris can't feel it. I like that I don't have to take a pill every day, plus the side effects are minimal, except libido and sensation are diminished, as with all hormonal methods I've tried. Merp. But, what can you do? It's the price you pay for no babies.

I figure after I hit 35 my chances for a blood clot/stroke will rise and since my aunt just had a stroke from that exact reason, I will need to look for a hormone-free option. I will probably be really, really sure I don't want kids at that point and the doctor will feel comfortable with tying my tubes or using that Essure method, or some other non-hormonal form of birth control. We'll see what happens with that.

So there you have it. I will probably stick with this method for now not because it's perfect, but because it's the least of all the evils!

NuvaRing Adventures

Here we go again on this birth control saga!
I've tried just about everything there is, so I hope this works.

My gyno recommended this because of the type of hormones, the relative "set it and forget it" aspect that I want (3 weeks), and the fact that the hormones stay near the vag/uterus so there is less introduction into the bloodstream- which seems to be the cause of the unpleasant side effects.

So I got home after the Nexplanon removal and shut myself in the bathroom to shove it up there. It seemed simple enough. They demonstrated with a big plastic vagina in the gyno's office. I even checked out some videos and pictures.

Too bad I was less than graceful when it came to the insertion. You basically take this surprisingly big flexible ring and squish it in half, then stick it up there making sure it doesn't fly back into a ring shape. Then you take "your longest finger" and push it up as far as it will go.

I assumed that once it was up in there, it would somehow spring back into a shape that perfectly cradled my cervix and stayed conveniently out of the way. I can only imagine how ridiculous I looked trying to shove it up there as far as it would go. I even tried different positions. But once it got to a certain point, there was no budging it. Apparently my fingers aren't very long, or it just doesn't go as far up there as I thought.

I really thought I had it in there wrong, but after a bit more research, apparently it's okay as long as it's up there somewhere. I was especially concerned because it's just like, RIGHT in there. It's not out of the way AT ALL. It's front and center like, Hey! Welcome to Vagina, make yourself at home!
Although it felt comfortable to me, I knew that hubs would hate it because he would be able to feel it.

Regardless of my hesitations, when we "tested it out," he couldn't feel it! Yay! He said something felt "different," but it was not painful or scratchy like the IUD. I call that a success. Since gynecological issues are rarely awkward for me nowadays, I even asked him if he could push it up further. Not luck. It just stays where it stays.

It's been only a few days, but I don't feel it and I mostly forget about it. No cramps, spotting, or any of the other side effects I felt with the nexplanon. Although it's still not back to normal, there was also an immediate noticeable difference in libido. Heyyyyy.

I was totally scared it would come out when I pooped, but so far nothing like that has happened. Good because if it comes out I'm not grabbing it out of the toilet. I'm also a tiny bit skeptical that this little ring up there can prevent little swimmers from doing what they're meant to do... but my gyno and his nurse (who uses it) said it worked just fine.

Other factors to consider include the fact that I will probably start having periods again, and the cost.
However, my gyno said that after a few months (to get used to it), he will tell me how to insert it to avoid periods. I'm guessing instead of leaving it out for a week, you just stick another one up there. Also, he said that he gets tons of samples of these things, and he'll give me a long-term supply once I determine if I like it. I'm okay with all of that.

So there you have it. Another anti-baby device. Time will tell if this is something that will work well for me.

Update:
1 year in

Nexplanon Adventures: Conclusion

Last week I had the nexplanon removed. I made it about 10 months but the side effects sucked. I mean, I knew that I didn't love having to take drugs to combat the side effects of this birth control, but I gave it the college try. Ultimately it just wasn't working for me, and to top it off I started spotting again. A few weeks ago I actually started bleeding as heavy as a regular period. Not cool for someone who hasn't carried around womanly supplies for several years.
Rather than try something else I decided I'd had enough. I was not ready to try testosterone cream; they give that to post-menopausal women! I'm not even 30!

So, just like with the IUD, the removal was not bad at all. They numbed the area and cut it out. Took about 2 minutes. No bruising this time, just the same deal where you wait until the bandaid falls off and that's about it.

In the meantime, since I still don't want to have babies, my gyno suggested the Nuvaring. I was immediately skeptical but I don't want to go back on the pill and I've pretty much exhausted my other options, so I just said okay. More on that later.

Nexplanon Adventures- 6 months in

This little hormone toothpick has been in my arm for about 6 months.

The main side effects I've experienced have included some spotting, fatigue, and lack of libido. Womp wommmp.

To elaborate a tidy bit more, the spotting was less like spotting and more like... smudges. I've noticed kind of a cycle where I spot/smudge, and I break out like crazy for about 2 weeks, then it all calms down for a few weeks. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The exhaustion was so bad that I actually saw my primary care doctor to make sure I didn't have anemia or liver disease. I was dragging ass so bad every day. I doubled my coffee intake. The lack of sexy time urges may be related to the exhaustion, but either way it's definitely noticeable.

So my gyno ran some hormone levels and ordered a super-awkward ultrasound. Not surprisingly, my testosterone was low, but they generally refrain from giving testosterone products to non-menopausal women. Instead he prescribed Wellbutrin. Said it would solve all my problems and make me feel awesome.

To be clear, he prescribed this drug solely to offset the side effects of a different drug. That I take to prevent pregnancy.

If I'm being honest, I'm a little terrified to take this drug. While I'm very comfortable with hormone toothpicks and various other tummy drugs, I've never taken any kind of antidepressant and the side effects kinda freak me out. [If I'm being a little honest-er, maybe this will help lift me out of the little funk I've been struggling with for years.]

My gyno also said that generally after the first year, the hormones kinda calm down and these symptoms will go away. If that's true, awesome. If that's not true, I'm not sure how I feel about the long-term manipulation all of these hormones in my bloodstream so that I can remain a normal, childless human being. Drugs upon drugs? Not sounding like fun.
-- Unless they really do solve all my problems and make me feel awesome. Then that might be fun.

Nexplanon Adventures

So I've chronicled some of my birth control adventures for a while on this blog.

In November I concluded the IUD Adventures portion of my life with its removal.

Then, I went with the next statistically most effective set it and forget it option: the Nexplanon.

The Nexplanon is ordered the same as the IUD: The doctor calls the insurance company, who calls you if there is any kind of copay. Mine was 100% covered. Thank God because it's $600. Then they ship it to the doctor and you come in on your period to have it inserted so that it's effective immediately.

While the Nexplanon was being ordered and some insurance confusion was resolved, I was on the pill for 2 months. These nasty, disgusting, spearmint-flavored chewable pills that I gagged down every morning. In addition to the constant nausea they caused, they tasted horrible. They were free and temporary, so I didn't ask to switch. I'm glad I don't have to take them again.

The insertion process was cake. I laid on the table while they sterilized the area and numbed it with Lidocaine, then the Nexplanon is inserted. It literally was less than 2 minutes and it was painless, except for the needle stick from the Lidocaine, which is hardly worth mentioning. Much more pleasant than the IUD insertion.

Then the nurse wrapped up my arm tightly, because there is a possibility that it could come out, and I was on my way. That night, I unwrapped the gauze and took a shower like normal. It was tender and a little bruised, but nothing major. They placed a flesh-colored type of bandaid on there and told me to let it fall off on its own.

3 days later, the bandaid is still there but it's not a nuisance. The insertion site is still tender and there is a decent bruise that follows the length of the implant. I'm glad it's cold outside so that my sleeves cover it, because it's a potentially awkward situation explaining it to random people like your boss and your dad why you have this strange bruise/bandage on your arm.

The jury is obviously still out regarding any other side effects.

Update: 6 months in 
Update: Removal

IUD Adventures: Conclusion.

After 2 years, my uterus is no longer an impenetrable fortress.

This week I had the IUD removed.

Why?

1. The husband started referring to my vagina as the "Wiener Scraper." Um, not exactly the nickname you want your lady parts called.
2. Consistently random cramps and spotting. Just enough to ruin a pair of underwear. The cramping varied from slight and fleeting to constant and bad enough to make me double over.

Other thoughts:
-I never could feel the strings. I just assumed it was still in there because I figured if it somehow came out, I'd know about it. 

Those are the main reasons. While I did love the "set it and forget it" aspect, and the peace of mind that the statistical effectiveness gave me, the other issues were just deal breakers, especially #1.

What surprised me was how incredibly easy and painless the removal was. Literally 30 seconds, during which my gyno went up in there, told me to cough, and walked out of the room. He even joked that I just "coughed it out."

After 2 years of near-constant cramps, and how much the insertion hurt, I was dreading the removal. Turns out, it's a piece of cake. I no longer feel that pain randomly throughout the day.

Now the next logical question- and in fact the nurse asked me this- "Are you going to try to start a family now?"

The answer is a big fat NO. Just to be clear. If you scroll back up to the list of reasons for removal, the desire for babies is definitely not one of them.

So. I'm temporarily back on a pill. One that is supposed to be chewable and tastes minty. Gag.

For my next trick, I'll be trying out the implant that goes underneath the skin on the arm. Statistically effective enough for me, and it has the same "set it and forget it" aspect as the IUD. Minus the wiener scrapage. It's ordered the same way as the IUD, so once the insurance company calls me and I pay for it, I'll be able to make an appointment for the insertion.

Yes, there are side effects associated with this type of birth control, as with all hormonal forms of birth control, but I'm still willing to try it out.
All this, for the sake of spontaneous sex without the threat of pregnancy! As I've said before, the current birth control options are great, but in some ways still so archaic and manipulative.

IUD Adventures

Continue reading at your own risk if you're afraid of periods and uterus talk and all that jazz.
When I was doing research about this, I would have loved to come across someone talking frankly about what really happens- rather than the product websites and message boards which spout gloom and doom and side effects and problems. So this is how it really went.


My uterus is now practically an impenetrable fortress.

That's right, I'm walking around with a flexible t-shaped piece of hormone-coated plastic inside my uterus. Baller.

But let's break it down a little.

The doctor instructed me to come in for the procedure during my period, for two reasons:
1. He wanted to be sure I wasn't pregnant, and also so it would be effective right away.
2. The cervix is a little more dilated when you're menstruating.

When I went in to the doctor's office, I peed in a cup and they made sure I wasn't pregnant, then I got undressed from the waist down and sat there with a paper cloth over my lap on the examination table, eyeing the rather long box on the counter.

Now, I swear this always happens to me. I never, ever go to the gynecologist without ending up with a student observing. Do I just happen to always choose the teaching facilities? But anyway, he said that there were 3 students who had never seen and IUD insertion before and would I mind if they came in? Nah, send 'em in. Let's have a party where we all stare at my vagina.

They were actually 3 really nice girls, coming in and introducing themselves and shaking my hand. While I was naked from the waist down. Surprisingly not awkward.

The insertion procedure was like a really intense pap smear. You get up in the stirrups and scoot your butt down to the end of the table (Does anyone else feel really strange scooting your nether regions towards the gyno's face? I always feel strange doing that).

Then, I tried to watch him take it out of the box but the girls were blocking my view. It's got this device that has a long tube, and I'm assuming the IUD is at the end of the tube. The handle of the tube has a switch, much like you use to slide a flash drive out of the stick. They stick the tube up past your cervix and with the flick of the switch, deposit the IUD into the uterus. Then you're all done. Yeah, easier said than done.

Since I have not had children, my cervix needed to be dilated a bit. I was thinking, "Whoa, is he going to give me drugs?" No. It's just a fancy way of saying that they're going to stick this long metal thing up there and mechanically open the cervix. Fun.

At that point I had three girls intently staring between my legs while the doctor did his thing, and I was trying not to be a wuss, but I did give an "ow" and try to find something to grab on to- which ended up being the side of the examination table. The procedure took about 3 minutes and was only about 30 seconds of pain, but imagine a really sudden, really intense cramp. The kind that makes you hold your breath. Then, it was over.

I got dressed and they gave me some meds for pain, which I didn't end up needing. Then I went grocery shopping.

I had pretty significant cramping on & off for a few weeks, and very light spotting the first day, but that was it.

The other night I was talking with my aunt, who is the one who originally suggested the IUD, and we got to comparing birth control methods. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. It's kind of a no-brainer for me.

First, consider the cost.

The Mirena cost $45 for the actual IUD, and $115 to insert it at the doctor's office. Total of $160.
The Pill, with my current insurance, costs $45 a month.
The Mirena is good for 5 years. So over the course of 5 years...

Mirena- $160
Pill- $2,700

Yowza.

With the Mirena, your periods gradually become lighter and they usually stop altogether. You don't have to take a daily pill or change a monthly patch or go in for a quarterly shot. It's also one of the most effective methods of birth control. Also, most of the hormones stay inside the uterus- only a small amount gets into the bloodstream. Basically the only thing you do is stick your fingers up there once a month and try to find the short strings that tell you that it's still in place. (To date, I have not been able to locate mine.)

Not to say that there aren't potential side effects and problems, including problems with pregnancy, embedment to the uterine wall, perforation of the uterus, and infections. I mean, that's to be expected when you put a foreign material inside your uterus.

However, cost-wise and practicality-wise, I'm very glad I decided to try this.

One last thing- the doctor mentioned that my partner might be able to feel the strings at first, because they're kind of coarse but soften over time. He told me, "But don't tell him that, because then he'll feel it for sure. If you don't mention it, he probably won't even notice. You know how guys are- don't give him a reason to complain."

I had to laugh. I get to test it out in about a week, so we'll see.

**Update**

After having the IUD for about a month and a half, here's some thoughts:

I had pretty significant cramping for about a month, and when I got my first period, it started on time and lasted about 2 weeks. Mostly light spotting, a couple days of light bleeding, and more spotting. The spotting lasted forever and was kind of annoying, but the cramps eventually went away.

The fiance could feel it- he described it as "scraping" which made me cringe, but he said it wasn't that bad.

Other than that, I'm hardly ever aware of it and have had no other side effects. I still have not been able to feel the strings myself.

**Update**
See the conclusion of this adventure here. 

on birth control

Talking about birth control and other potentially uncomfortable things! YAY!

Today was violation day.

Took 2 fricken hours, and once travel time was included, it added up to 3 hours that I had to take off work. But it's ok. Because I got some anti-baby-making stuff. And, you know, got a pap smear and a surprisingly pleasant breast exam. Seriously, for a guy, he was totally non-man-handle-y.

Let's add "enjoying the breast exam at the gyno" to the list of reasons why Chris should come home now. (lol)

So birth control.

I decided I want to try the IUD, since I really dislike taking the pill- and its side effects. Set it and forget it is my kinda game. The long-term cost is cheaper, too. After reviewing all of the various birth control methods out there, I want to give it a shot.

The doctor started out by saying that there are two types of doctors: Ones that will give an IUD to a woman who hasn't had children, and those who will not- because of the unlikely scenario that it can affect fertility.

I asked him which one he was.

He said that if I desperately wanted children, he wouldn't do it. If I was iffy or didn't want children, he had no problem with it.
Sweeet. I'm all for sticking that thing up there and moving right along.

So then we discussed options. Hormones vs copper. He insisted that the hormones coating the IUD won't be nearly as side-effecty-y as the pill. So I agreed on that one. Plus, you stop having your period. Um, hell yes.

But... there's a whole rigmarole (I totally had to look that word up to spell it correctly) of things surrounding the actual "getting it and getting it inserted" procedure. So it will take several weeks, some insurance company crap, plus an extra month after it's inserted before it's considered effective birth control. Which kinda passes right by my window of sexual activity when Chris will be home. Herm.

While in my gown waiting for the doctor to come back in and get it over with, I spotted something on the counter that looked a lot like this:

Holy crap is that actual size? Is my uterus really that small? Is the IUD really that big? It takes up the whole thing?? I thought it was this tiny thing that just like sat at the entrance and... I dunno, magically prevented pregnancy. Mind boggled for a second.

Before I left he also gave me some pills to take as a backup method. Ugh. Not too thrilled about that, but if it keeps me from getting knocked up then I suppose they're ok.

I wish there were some switch on our bodies that we could flip when we're ready to procreate- and until then you can have sex and all you have to worry about is STDs.

I mean, hormone pills, foreign materials in the uterus, implants, rings, barriers, creams... sheesh. It's a little Brave New World when you think about it. I just need my contraceptive belt and I'm good to go!

I'm also torn between waiting to get the IUD until I'm actually having sex on a regular basis. It seems a little pointless to get it and not really need it for another few years.

However, the thing that keeps taking me back to the "get it" side is the peace of mind that I get from the effectiveness-- versus something temporary and less effective like condoms. It's very reassuring, even if it's used infrequently. It only takes one busted condom or a couple missed pills to make a baby.
I'd rather have my uterus be a practically impenetrable fortress of IUD than have a Surprise! The condom broke! or a Ha! You didn't take your pills at exactly the right time! pregnancy.

Anyway, we'll see how this all pans out.