Huh. Well.

It's come to my attention that guys don't ask for your number because they want to be friends.

Well, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT because I haven't been single in 12 years.
I haven't worn my wedding ring in months, but I'm usually left alone and I like it that way.

There have been a couple of recent incidents though.

A few weeks ago a colleague (who works for a different division) asked for my number after we got to talking at the hotel breakfast. He suggested we meet for a drink because hanging out in your hotel room alone is boring as hell. I thought he was being nice and it made sense.

Nah, he was just real smooth about it.

We didn't end up hanging out but we've been texting back and forth about our travels, real platonic stuff. Then tonight he busted out a "Hey gorgeous." I'm like, WHAAA? Did he mean to text ME? Obviously he's drunk and that was a mistake and it was meant for someone else.

On a related note, that aforementioned off-limits cute customer asked for my number today and he worked it into our conversation so flawlessly that I felt like an asshole saying no so... now he has my number.

Damn these smooth men. When did men get so smooth? Maybe it's because the last time I dated was in college when guys were just as awkward as I am. Crap. I have some catching up to do.

I need to have an equally smooth rejection phrase ready that doesn't sound rude. Ideas??

I honestly don't want to date (ESPECIALLY because I'm not divorced yet!) and this whole thing is weird and it sucks trying to interpret intentions and I have to ask my sisters how to respond to flirty text messages... but oh my GOD that's what it's like to date! No! No! No! I don't want any of it.

Now I have to avoid cute dudes.

Especially the ones that have my number.