Duane

He was my sister's father-in-law. Not sure what that makes us on a family tree, if anything.

Over the years, I somehow managed to show up to a lot of my sister's husband's family's events, and they are the kind of people who welcome everyone. I developed a friendship with my brother-in-law's family, to the point that I was eventually included for things like Easter dinner and Thanksgiving.

Which is why I'm very sad that my sister's father-in-law passed away unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. It's taken me a while to write my thoughts. 

My heart breaks for his wife and my brother-in-law, and my sister and my nephews, who lost a grandpa. I feel like I lost a friend.

Duane was a very sweet man. I think when he saw me struggling with my marriage to a mean person, it must have struck a nerve because around that time, he started to make an extra effort to be nice to me. It wasn't his responsibility to do that, he did it because he's a good man. People like that help restore a jaded person's faith in humanity. He probably touched many lives like that, in a small but meaningful way.

He was a good dad, a good husband, a good grandpa, and a good friend. He was a mellow guy, always even-keeled and had a clever sense of humor. His wife would get drunk on ladies nights and talk about some of the funny, off-color things that he said. You'd never guess looking at him, which made them all the funnier.

He wore cool socks and a visor and was one of those people who quietly deserved respect, for no other reason than it was the vibe he gave off.

I'm sad that I'll never show up for another Sunday dinner and walk outside on the back porch to find him in the rocking chair, with a glass of wine or maybe a little whiskey, ready to chat about traveling.

I'm sad that the world lost a fantastic person, that people I love are grieving, and that my friend is gone.
Rest in peace, Duane.