sick

WARNING!!!
I am going to talk in detail about some things that some people may find disturbing about the female anatomy. It's my blog, and I can write about whatever I want, but for the extra squeamish, you've been warned and it is clearly marked. I will now bring you back to you regularly [un]scheduled blog.
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it's 4am.
i am most certainly not asleep warm and comfortable in my bed. like i should be.

i am in fact quite the opposite, cold and incredibly uncomfortable sitting in front of my computer.

why?

amoebas.
c's amoebas, to be exact.
this is what i get for taking care of my honey while he's sick. and kissing & snuggling said sick person.

my sinuses are completely unpenetrable by my usual means. this stuff is not cutting it, i feel horrible.

**HERE'S THE QUESTIONABLE PART**

that, and my fucking vagina is going nuts. it is so fucking itchy and painful, and is the main reason i am unable to sleep. this is what i get for playing around with hormones. bad jacobithegreat! BAD! that and i have that horrible equivalent of grown-up diaper rash... pad-rash. oh jesus what did i ever do to deserve this?? it's almost unbearable, i wanna take an ice pack and shove it in my crotch to relieve some of this pain. (don't get me wrong, this is not an infection OR an STD, none of the telltale signs are there. i'm not a dirty whore.)

**QUESTIONABLE PART OVER**

i'm so tired but can't possibly sleep in this condition. my last day of work is tomorrow (well, in a few hours) and it would be incredibly bad form to call in sick. i think i've called in sick maybe 3 times in the past three years, only one of those times from an actual sickness. what are the odds i'd actually be sick on my last day of work?

i need a shower. i'm whiny and sick and there's no one awake to be whiny and sick to.

on optimism

It's past noon on a Tuesday and I'm sitting here in my underwear drinking coffee and ignoring my phone. (once again, I love college)

I forgot how whiny men are when they are sick! Still it's nice to see the happy smile on his face after he's gotten a tummy full of donuts and alkaseltzer. Sounds gross to me, but he seemed to like it.

I feel kinda crappy. My head hurts and for the first time in three months, due to my own hormone replacement schemes, I will have the dreaded monthly visitor. Things are not very comfortable down there and I'm breaking out. And it's STILL 80 degrees in December! That alone makes me crabby. I'm moving back to CA as soon as I graduate man. Ha, I say that every time the weather in Houston gets shitty.

I am restless. I want this final to be over, and I want to finally finish my last day of work. This week will drag by, no doubt. I also have the endoscopy to "look forward" to on Monday. I'm slowly getting scared, distracted only by the more pressing issue of acing this final.

On the plus side, though, my stomach is not upset. :o) Yay for gluten free!
I love being an optimist.

crappy interviews, finals and weather

I was late to the interview. I thought the time was 1130 but it was really at 11. So, needless to say, I didn't get the job that seemed perfect for me. Alas, it was not meant to be. I am not worried though, it will work out.

I wound up making a halfway decent grade on my ochem final, but sucked on my physiology final. Errgg. One more to go, I must ace immuno.

As I was decorating the staircase banister with green and silver garland, poinsettas and little round ornaments, I realized that I am in no way into the Christmas spirit this year. I was putting the decorations up for my mom, who is out of town and would like the surprise of having the decorations up instead of in bags on the floor when she returns.

Maybe because of finals, maybe because it's freaking 80 degrees outside (I abhor Houston's weather), maybe because I'm so tired, but I am just not feelin' the Christmas-ey this year. I was debating breaking out my own decorations and decorating my little apartment, but maybe if I do it will help.

I also want to volunteer. I think that will help get me into the "mode." I always donate to St. Judes, but this year I don't have much money to give to charity. I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities this time of year, especially if I don't have a job.

Stuff to do get around to doing:
-write Grandma back
-get the personal injury stuff from the accident taken care of
-tweak the resume
-find simple gf recipes, I'm so tired of eating the same old stuff!

random life stuff

I have an interview today for a reception position, something exactly what I'm looking for. The only thing is, my schedule is so kooky this semester, it might be a problem. Oh, well. We'll see what happens.

This week has been nuts. I took my non-pregnancy wonder hormone pill this morning and was astonished to see that it's Friday.

Physiology final this evening. I'm TIRED!!

The parentals are out of town in San Antonio. I wish I was there on the riverwalk with my lover and an alcoholic beverage amid all the Christmas lights.

Speaking of lovers, C went to visit his grandpa "Pa Paw" (must be a southern thing) and he brought me back a birthday gift from him! It's a small crystal clock, very pretty. Anyway I was surprised to receive a gift from him, considering I've never met him. I guess it's kuz I make his grandson happy. :o)

Saw the GI doctor yesterday. I don't know if I really like him yet. And not because he said I have to get an upper GI endoscopy and small intestine biopsy. He assured me he'd knock me out with an IV. Scary yet intriguing and cool.

Well, another week of my life is gone. I like the way things are heading.

WhooOoOoOAaaAa

So I am on a major brain high. I studied for pretty much 20 hours straight and now, after my final is over, I can't shut it off. I still have mechanisms and electrons and cyclohexane molecules being manipulated around in my head.

You know it's funny. I thought it would be an unbearably long night, that would never end and it would be so hard to stay awake, but it wasn't that bad. Even if I tried to sleep, so many things were whirring around in my cranium that I couldn't catch some Z's. (lying under the table at 4am while the cleaning lady vacuumed around me and Adam tried to cover me up w/ his jacket...haha)

I think it made it better that Adam was there next to me, even though we didn't really talk and mostly studied, it always makes me more comfortable studying with someone there. A nice Gin Blossoms interlude breaks up the mind-numbing monotony. That, and the fact that the majority of the people camped out in the c-site 24 hour computer lab were also cramming for ochem. Comrades!

So now, I don't have to be at work until another hour and a half, but if I go to sleep I'm done for; I won't be getting back up. So... I have an hour and a half to kill in this caffeine induced energy state.

Haha, I look like hell. I love college.
Rock on and bring on the day.

crunch time

So. Here's the plan.

Ochem exam at 0800 hours tomorrow morning. I think it's time to pull my first all-nighter as a college student. After four or so years (who's counting, really?) I haven't had to do one yet, but I'd rather just camp out in the library than worry about missing my final because of traffic or car trouble or something equally disatrous.

I'm so glad C is out of town these two days because there's one major distraction gone from the equation. Seriously, I have zero self control, especially when it comes to him. Hell, I'll bring my stuff and study next to him watching tv. It works, right? Not really...

My plan is to head up there, study all day and then drive back home, take a shower, grab dinner and whatnot, then head back up and stay till my exam.

FINAL EXAM CRAMMING CHECKLIST
thermous of coffee: check, but not till the second trip to school
comfy hoodie: check
big bag of skittles: check
huge supply of gum: check
various gluten free snacks to share with my fellow cramming buddy, Michelle: check

Let's go.

birthday-ness!

Before work Friday morning, I got a few special phone calls wishing me a happy birthday. My dad was among those and it made me happy that this year he didn't forget.

I put in my two weeks notice at work, and the day went by with happy wishes.

The party that I decided to throw only a few days ago went great. A lot of people showed up and there was plenty of alcohol, even for a BYOB party. I am constantly reminded that I have the greatest friends. A lot of people brought gifts, something I was not expecting at all. I felt very very loved.

I was thinking about where I was a year ago on my last birthday and how much I've been through since then. I'm glad it's all behind me and I was right, I am so much stronger because of it. I have high hopes for this coming year and I'm looking forward to enjoying it.