hiccup

The most curious thing just happened.
I was reading some articles about why we yawn and why we sneeze, when I saw at the bottom of the page a link to an article about why we hiccup. Seeing as how I actually had the hiccups at the time, I clicked on it.

Usually when I have the hiccups I breathe in as much as I possibly can, until I can feel the diaphragm engaged, then I hold it until I can't possibly hold it anymore, or until the urge to hiccup passes. Usually I get dizzy when this happens.

There's also drinking water, eating sugar, and this cracked me up: One time Missy had the hiccups and Chris said to her, "I've got a $100 bill in my wallet and if you hiccup one more time I'll give it to you." So we all looked at her and she hiccuped, but James said that that's happened to him and it stopped his hiccups, lol.

There was also that time when Nisha had the hiccups and out of nowhere I screamed and lurched at her to scare her. Well, she got scared all right and told me I was "freaking psycho," but it got rid of them. :o)

Anyway I was reading the article and one of the things it mentioned was to pull on the tongue. Okay... so I stuck out my tongue and held onto it. I felt like I might gag but it worked! How strange, I'd never heard of that one before.

I think I'll do that from now on, avoid the dizziness.

mom

I figured out what to give my mom for Mother's Day: the classic "I want to make it personal but am broke as hell" mix cd. Score.

You know, I'm pretty good at telling my mom she's awesome throughout the year and not just on Mother's Day. But I guess it's only now when we really think about just how much she does.

My mother is an extraordinary woman. There is absolutely no exaggeration in that statement. She is my hero.

She's had five children, all with no epidurals. And she's done an incredible job raising us and keeping our family a family. Our friends always talk about how awesome our family is because we actually act like we like each other. I give all that credit to her and my dad.

She must have been so exhausted at points but she still kept going. I don't know how many times she's been woken up in the middle of the night (most likely from us pulling her eyelid open) because of a bad dream or stomachache. There were countless "Mom? mom? mom! mom mom mom MOM mom. mom. Mom. mom." marathons. Infinite scrapes bandaged and prayers said for us. Tons of hot meals cooked, songs sang, books read and lessons learned the hard way. She somehow always knew everything, but didn't always let us know that and we didn't always listen. Our childhood was happy even during rough times. We didn't know how hard our parents worked.

She's loved us more than anyone will ever come close to. She's the one who hugs us while we cry our hardest. She's the one who is the happiest for us when something good happens.

She makes dorky jokes and likes to listen to country music while she cleans the house. She enjoys drinking beer on the back porch. She watches Lifetime movies on Sunday afternoons. She gets song lyrics wrong a lot. She'll still snuggle any baby she can get her hands on. She always smells like gardenia.

Besides all the mom stuff, as a person, she is just amazing. I'm not kidding, strangers marvel at her charisma. Her laugh automatically makes you happy. I know I can do anything in the world I want to do because I've seen her do seemingly impossible things firsthand. I get my own strength and confidence in part from watching her and knowing that it's possible. She's always said that I was a great role model for my younger siblings, but where do you think I got it from? Her.

I do appreciate her, because as I got older I saw how hard she worked every day. She still works hard every day. She is beautiful and brilliant. My mom rocks.

blugh.

I have not been feeling well. These damn headaches never completely go away and my stomach has been very touchy. I haven't had an appetite or wanted to eat anything except for a piece of fruit here and there. Grr I thought that things would get better and stay better once I was no longer eating gluten. I have to get tested for other allergies or something. Yayy for spending more money at the doctor.


In other news, I have no idea what to get my mom for Mother's Day. I hate giving conventional gifts to people, and I don't want to just go pick up something lame. But, I am idea-less and slightly low on money. Maybe inspiration will strike tonight and I can just run to Walmart...

down

I am feeling down.

Yesterday was a long day, and today was tough. I was not feeling well, and didn't really eat anything except a banana at work. Several times I contemplated going home, but I knew I wouldn't feel any better at home than I did at work. So I toughed it out, then went to Akhtar and Elmer's graduation dinner/ceremony thingy. It was really nice. I'm glad I decided to go after all even though I still am not feeling all that great.

I'm tired. I spent all day in front of a computer doing slow, repetitive work pulling names out of a database. We couldn't get the results sorted how we wanted them, so I've got to go through and pick. Maybe I'll play with it tomorrow and see if I can't get it to be a bit more efficient. The thing is, I hate to be perceived as a "slow" worker. I want to get a job done and move on to the next. However, this particular project seems to be moving sooo slow. I work all day and have so little to show for it. I guess it's just me learning how it all works. I bet next time it will move much quicker.

It's also bothering me how I haven't talked to Chris since Tuesday night except for a few seconds. Normally I don't worry about it because it's not like I have to talk to him every single day.

But it's at the end of a tough day that you just want someone to be there, to pick up the phone, to be a comfort. This is probably how I've gotten to the point where I don't turn to people when I'm feeling upset.

So, here you are, blog.

freedom

My desk is clean. So is the dining table. There aren't books and piles of papers and flash cards everywhere. I'm listening to music instead of thinking about how I should be studying something. It's... odd. Now I just have to wait for the grades. Gah!

I'm tired and wishing I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. It would be nice to sleep in and spend the day lazing around. Alas, money must be made! And work is not all that bad once I get there. It's the getting out of bed part that's hard.

I went to Walmart today and while I was there I bought a cheap motorized cat toy for Pumpkin because she's been so needy and lonely lately, bugging me when I was trying to study and all. I thought she'd go nuts over it, but she got a little freaked and just hid under the couch and watched it. Oy.

This wine is delicious.

faith

I went to church for the first time in ages on Easter Sunday with Chris and his family, then I went again to our church last night for a dinner and service honoring all the high school seniors that are about to graduate. Being back in my church made me miss going. I've always liked hearing Pastor Marty's sermons.

The thing is: I don't really have strong "faith." There was a period of about two years in high school where I really tried hard to find God, but never really could. So I just gave up trying. I didn't close myself off, but instead figured that He'd find me when I was ready, like they say. Well, since then my opinions have fluctuated.

I do believe in evolution. I don't believe we were just plunked down on earth, as the bible says. (I think the bible is not meant to be taken literally, anyway but that's a whole other story.) However I don't believe that something as complex and intricately designed as life could simply come about by accident, no matter how many billions of years it's been. There's got to be some kind of intelligent design, whether it be God or aliens or whatever.

When things happen, I do believe they happen for a reason, and possibly they are part of God's plan. You know, on those days I believe in God, or in a higher being of some sort that fits the description. Other days it's harder to logically fathom the notion of a God.

I know it's called "faith" because it's not logical, but I can't help how I think. Sometimes when I'm in church or when I do pray, I feel ridiculous because I'm thinking, "who am I talking to?" What if this whole religion thing is all a bunch of crap and we're all worshipping something that doesn't exist? And then some days I pray and I have a feeling like someone is hearing me. Again with the whole point of calling it "faith." You just gotta believe, which I have a hard time doing.

I mean, my two closest friends are both Catholic and attend mass regularly, and many of my very close friends are religious. I'm surrounded by people who enjoy the church and the things that come with it, and have a relationship with God, but I just have never "found" it. No matter how hard I've looked with nothing happening, and no matter how many times I've said, "I'll just open my heart and let Jesus find me." Well, I'm still waiting.

This is not to say I'm bitter and have decided to give up on religion. I'm just saying that it's made me think. And I'm also saying that I don't think I'm ready to go searching again. I dunno. Just thinking.

lists

What with all of the studying and all, I've been making mental notes of things I want to do this summer, or even the end of the week, while I have the time. But the thing about mental notes is, they get lost. I've already forgotten some of the things I wanted to do. I always make lists. I'm a list-maker.

I want to re-re-caulk the shower. After the wormy episode, madre told me to use caulk A, but when padre saw what I had used, he said I used the wrong kind. Well, he was right. It gets mildew-y way quick even after I clean it and it's starting to come off and I DO NOT want an invitation for more worms. That may be the first thing on the list.

I want to cook more! There are so many things I want to try and/or perfect, but it's so darn time consuming.

I need a hair cut.

I am also running low on conditioner, mouthwash, qtips, tampons, kitchen cleaner, coffee filters, etc. But I know if I go to Walmart it will take WAY more time and WAY more money than I have right now, so it has to wait.

Speaking of, I am getting quite broke. I should probably get another part-time job. The thing about that is, I have to work to get more money, and I don't feel like working my butt off all summer just to keep working my butt off next semester. This chica needs some rest. Although my bosses have some cool stuff they want me to do/ learn, so we'll see how that all goes.

That reminds me I need to compile a database of MSDS sheets for my dad's business.

My tires need rotating. And Jake needs a bath.

I guess that's all for now. Back to memorizing the steps and mechanisms of glycolysis! (and gluconeogenesis and the citric acid cycle, just in case you were wondering)

One more thing: Have you ever been sitting still but felt like you were moving? Like rocking back and forth slightly? It's kind of wierd and it happens sometimes.