So today, after the 3rd straight day of a stomachache that I can't explain, and still having to perform daily functions like going to work, I prepared myself a meal. Then I stood there, in my hotel room, looking down at that meal, thinking that I don't want to eat it because I know that it will make my stomach hurt.
That thought filled me with so much despair. It sent me back to those years full of endless struggle, where day after day I would choose not to eat because I'd rather be hungry than sick. I've come so far since those days and I've made so much progress managing this illness. Simply having those thoughts feels like such a huge step backwards.
I can't believe I live a life where something as basic and life-sustaining as EATING could be so problematic. Like, honestly.
The good news is, I've been in that struggle zone before and have no desire to re-live it, so I'm pretty motivated to take action. Doctors have rarely been helpful, but I did look up a gastroenterologist in Lake Jackson so if this doesn't resolve, at least I'll go get checked out.
In the meantime, I've taken 3 slow bites of this tuna sandwich in the last hour and I only have minimal pain.
No comments:
Post a Comment