So that plant with the bird's nest in it.
It occurred to me late one night as I was laying in bed, thinking about the random things that we do when we're falling asleep, that once the baby birds learn how to fly they might not make it past the dog. I told myself that I'd move the plant to a different spot, perhaps the front yard. Give them a fighting chance.
The very next evening I walked outside to find three little feathery bodies on the porch, slightly mauled. I was too late!
At first, I was pissed. Then, I really couldn't blame the dog. She's a DOG. And to her, the flailing baby birds were something to play with. It's mother nature's way sometimes.
So with a sad sigh, I gathered the dead baby birds in the shovel and tossed them over the fence. Sorry, birds. Then, with another sad sigh, I looked at my once pretty plant, now withered and dead.
No plant, no birds.
What a shitty situation.
06 August 2016
04 August 2016
Setback
Icing my knee. For the second time this week. No, I have not worked out.
I think being on my feet and moving all day has started to affect my knee as if I've been exercising. I wore the compression sleeve thingy for a bit at work, but it got on my nerves.
How am I supposed to train for this 5k if I can't train?? How am I supposed to be fit and healthy if my knee is cranky all the time?
*Noms alfredo*
I think being on my feet and moving all day has started to affect my knee as if I've been exercising. I wore the compression sleeve thingy for a bit at work, but it got on my nerves.
How am I supposed to train for this 5k if I can't train?? How am I supposed to be fit and healthy if my knee is cranky all the time?
*Noms alfredo*
01 August 2016
quick workout videos rock
Duuude.
I've started doing quick 5-10 minute workout videos, because my knee has been bothering me when I run but I still need to get in shape, and the longer videos bore me. I usually do a few videos in succession (arms, abs, etc) and wind up with a quick full-body exercise.
I did this 5-minute booty video yesterday. Not too bad. Pretty medium level, not some crazy kill you in 5 minutes video. Followed up with a core video that automatically came up after it. I think I was active for about 15-20 minutes, and that's a stretch.
All was grand, except for when I went to climb out of bed this morning.
Ohh Gawwwd. My ass and my thighs are screaming. I hobbled around the lab all day, cringing every time I had to sit down. The sneaky booty video really works! Apparently I need to do it more often, because one, I repeat: ONE time was enough to halfway cripple me. My booty muscles apparently need more attention.
Try it and get back with me the next day lol.
P.S. Cute.
I've started doing quick 5-10 minute workout videos, because my knee has been bothering me when I run but I still need to get in shape, and the longer videos bore me. I usually do a few videos in succession (arms, abs, etc) and wind up with a quick full-body exercise.
I did this 5-minute booty video yesterday. Not too bad. Pretty medium level, not some crazy kill you in 5 minutes video. Followed up with a core video that automatically came up after it. I think I was active for about 15-20 minutes, and that's a stretch.
All was grand, except for when I went to climb out of bed this morning.
Ohh Gawwwd. My ass and my thighs are screaming. I hobbled around the lab all day, cringing every time I had to sit down. The sneaky booty video really works! Apparently I need to do it more often, because one, I repeat: ONE time was enough to halfway cripple me. My booty muscles apparently need more attention.
Try it and get back with me the next day lol.
P.S. Cute.
31 July 2016
crappy garden
This year was a crappy year for a garden.
With the flooding early on and the lack of rain afterwards, even if I had gotten a good, planned, early start I think I would have been screwed. And probably much more disappointed.
Most of the plants I got a few weeks ago are still living. Some are pretty meh-looking. After figuring out that the dog could still reach the edible flowers, even after putting them on the cart, I moved them to the front yard.
Surprisingly, some sage I nearly killed last year is looking a lot better. And I planted some tumeric roots my coworker gave me after forgetting about them in a plastic bag for 6 months. They're doing fantastic.
These guys are hanging on, and the aloe is doing wonderfully. He's a transplant baby from mom's house, who was originally a transplant from Missy's mom's house. Gotta love hardy aloe. I'm still not sure if those "ornamental" peppers are edible, but really, are any peppers not??
One plant, for sure, will end up dying.
Because every time I went to water it, a bird would fly out and scare the hell out of me. Then a few days later, I heard cheeping.
When I took a peek, sure enough. There was a nest with three little birds whose beaks were open for food.
There's no way to water it without drenching the nest, and I'm certainly not going to drown little baby birds, so it will have to die. Or hang in there until the birds are old enough to fly away. Man, it had such pretty purple flowers, too.
I moved the roses to the flower beds, because I'd eventually like to see them planted. I'll see how they do in that spot in pots before transplanting them. The dog leaves those alone because of the thorns. Ha!
With the flooding early on and the lack of rain afterwards, even if I had gotten a good, planned, early start I think I would have been screwed. And probably much more disappointed.
Most of the plants I got a few weeks ago are still living. Some are pretty meh-looking. After figuring out that the dog could still reach the edible flowers, even after putting them on the cart, I moved them to the front yard.
Surprisingly, some sage I nearly killed last year is looking a lot better. And I planted some tumeric roots my coworker gave me after forgetting about them in a plastic bag for 6 months. They're doing fantastic.
These guys are hanging on, and the aloe is doing wonderfully. He's a transplant baby from mom's house, who was originally a transplant from Missy's mom's house. Gotta love hardy aloe. I'm still not sure if those "ornamental" peppers are edible, but really, are any peppers not??
One plant, for sure, will end up dying.
Because every time I went to water it, a bird would fly out and scare the hell out of me. Then a few days later, I heard cheeping.
When I took a peek, sure enough. There was a nest with three little birds whose beaks were open for food.
There's no way to water it without drenching the nest, and I'm certainly not going to drown little baby birds, so it will have to die. Or hang in there until the birds are old enough to fly away. Man, it had such pretty purple flowers, too.
I moved the roses to the flower beds, because I'd eventually like to see them planted. I'll see how they do in that spot in pots before transplanting them. The dog leaves those alone because of the thorns. Ha!
27 July 2016
Kitty's day off
A few shots from my day off:
Kitty literally hangs around every second. Especially during naps.
Coffee
Lounging around reading magazines
Working out
Nap time
Second nap time
Kitty literally hangs around every second. Especially during naps.
Coffee
Lounging around reading magazines
Working out
Nap time
Second nap time
26 July 2016
State of the marriage, veterans.
Although my psyche is MUCH better, I'm still at a place where I'm torn between preparing myself to be single and wanting to make my marriage work. I feel so strange talking frankly about potential divorce like it's no big deal. When a few months ago my ideals would have told me that the D-word was unthinkable.
It's so true; that which does not kill you makes you stronger. And I've learned that my "steadfast" ideals can change depending on the circumstances. The raw, painful part of this process is over. It's still devastating but at least now I can stand on my own two feet without crumpling.
The hurt inflicted upon me is not easy to understand, forgive, or forget. But I've dealt with it in my own way, and come to my own terms about things. I've learned a lot about myself. Hindsight is 20/20. The current trust factor is negligent.
All that being said, I can't imagine it getting any worse than it was. Of course there will be rough days, no matter which side of the coin toss I/we decide to follow.
Even if we decide to divorce, I can see myself using the opportunity to get happier. I see myself embracing my independence rather than wallowing in my hurt. That brings me strength to carry on. The fact that I don't need him ironically makes me want to work on my marriage.
To my surprise, with everything stripped down to the bare essentials of our relationship, I'm able to see past the dog and the dishes in the sink and the everyday annoyances that used to be a really big deal. Now I can see the things that really matter, the things that just might be enough to keep us together.
To my shock, the fucked-up-veteran factor keeps pushing up in our conversations. The idea that it might not even be about me is baffling. I'm simply a bystander dealing with the consequences of the fucked-up-ness that keeps pouring out of him? Grain of salt, taken.
It's even more baffling that there are hardly any resources or societal understanding to even begin to address this issue. It's heartbreaking to hear about the suicide statistics, and even more heartbreaking to see it in action. This statistic is real. This summer, several of my husband's close veteran friends have committed suicide. I don't know how to address this. Perhaps it's not in my power to. But who, then? Hello, confusion, helplessness.
Ever ironically, perhaps with the above mentioned ideas in the back of my head, I've found myself really enjoying spending time with him. If our marriage is going to end, I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Soak up every bit of him that I can before I no longer get to enjoy the man that I call my husband.
Because I'm not going to remain a punching bag. I'm simply not built for that. Statistics or no statistics, I can't continue to be dragged down.
This marriage is about both of us.
Not just him.
Not just me.
Both of us.
And yes, one of us can dominate the problem factor for a while, but it's supposed to ebb and flow-- not careen into a direction where neither of us benefits.
My marriage was sacred to me, and still is. We can endure the toughest of problems. All other problems are understandable, but at the end of the day if our marriage is not sacred to him, then I'll take my sacred marriage ideals elsewhere. I have no qualms with that.
It's so true; that which does not kill you makes you stronger. And I've learned that my "steadfast" ideals can change depending on the circumstances. The raw, painful part of this process is over. It's still devastating but at least now I can stand on my own two feet without crumpling.
The hurt inflicted upon me is not easy to understand, forgive, or forget. But I've dealt with it in my own way, and come to my own terms about things. I've learned a lot about myself. Hindsight is 20/20. The current trust factor is negligent.
All that being said, I can't imagine it getting any worse than it was. Of course there will be rough days, no matter which side of the coin toss I/we decide to follow.
Even if we decide to divorce, I can see myself using the opportunity to get happier. I see myself embracing my independence rather than wallowing in my hurt. That brings me strength to carry on. The fact that I don't need him ironically makes me want to work on my marriage.
To my surprise, with everything stripped down to the bare essentials of our relationship, I'm able to see past the dog and the dishes in the sink and the everyday annoyances that used to be a really big deal. Now I can see the things that really matter, the things that just might be enough to keep us together.
To my shock, the fucked-up-veteran factor keeps pushing up in our conversations. The idea that it might not even be about me is baffling. I'm simply a bystander dealing with the consequences of the fucked-up-ness that keeps pouring out of him? Grain of salt, taken.
It's even more baffling that there are hardly any resources or societal understanding to even begin to address this issue. It's heartbreaking to hear about the suicide statistics, and even more heartbreaking to see it in action. This statistic is real. This summer, several of my husband's close veteran friends have committed suicide. I don't know how to address this. Perhaps it's not in my power to. But who, then? Hello, confusion, helplessness.
Ever ironically, perhaps with the above mentioned ideas in the back of my head, I've found myself really enjoying spending time with him. If our marriage is going to end, I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Soak up every bit of him that I can before I no longer get to enjoy the man that I call my husband.
Because I'm not going to remain a punching bag. I'm simply not built for that. Statistics or no statistics, I can't continue to be dragged down.
This marriage is about both of us.
Not just him.
Not just me.
Both of us.
And yes, one of us can dominate the problem factor for a while, but it's supposed to ebb and flow-- not careen into a direction where neither of us benefits.
My marriage was sacred to me, and still is. We can endure the toughest of problems. All other problems are understandable, but at the end of the day if our marriage is not sacred to him, then I'll take my sacred marriage ideals elsewhere. I have no qualms with that.
stormy
I woke up at 4 o'clock this morning to a raging storm. Thunder, lightning, wind, rain, the works.
I always get a bit of anxiety during nighttime thunderstorms, because my brain automatically thinks of a tree limb slamming through the roof, or other catastrophic damage. Usually I can settle myself down and go back to sleep.
But then I remembered that the dog would probably be scared and might pee in her cage, which I'd have to clean up in the morning, making me late for work. And the dog food I left out would be soggy and would need changing. Also the roads might be a bit flooded, so I should plan for that.
Never mind that the dog is pretty chill during storms, and the roads have only flooded during major back-to-back downpours.
The thing that kept me up was remembering that the sprinkler system was programmed to be watering at 4am on a Tuesday. While it was raining. I tried to shrug it off and go back to sleep, but all I could think about was that the damn sprinklers were going full blast during a rainstorm.
So I got up, turned off the alarm, put on my rain boots, and tromped to the garage to turn off the sprinkler system. Checked on the dog, who was sleeping right through it, and went back to bed.
Those early morning antics, combined with the fact that it was a "Tuesday after a working weekend" made today especially draggy. It was one of those days where at 330pm I had to give my boss puppy dog eyes and say, "I haven't eaten lunch yet!" And it was one of those days where a big hurty zit appeared on my face. But that's ok. I made it. I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Tonight I'm finishing off that bottle of wine. Wine is good for your heart, dammit. I've got crock pot freezer dump soup already ready for dinner, and it actually smells pretty good.
I always get a bit of anxiety during nighttime thunderstorms, because my brain automatically thinks of a tree limb slamming through the roof, or other catastrophic damage. Usually I can settle myself down and go back to sleep.
But then I remembered that the dog would probably be scared and might pee in her cage, which I'd have to clean up in the morning, making me late for work. And the dog food I left out would be soggy and would need changing. Also the roads might be a bit flooded, so I should plan for that.
Never mind that the dog is pretty chill during storms, and the roads have only flooded during major back-to-back downpours.
The thing that kept me up was remembering that the sprinkler system was programmed to be watering at 4am on a Tuesday. While it was raining. I tried to shrug it off and go back to sleep, but all I could think about was that the damn sprinklers were going full blast during a rainstorm.
So I got up, turned off the alarm, put on my rain boots, and tromped to the garage to turn off the sprinkler system. Checked on the dog, who was sleeping right through it, and went back to bed.
Those early morning antics, combined with the fact that it was a "Tuesday after a working weekend" made today especially draggy. It was one of those days where at 330pm I had to give my boss puppy dog eyes and say, "I haven't eaten lunch yet!" And it was one of those days where a big hurty zit appeared on my face. But that's ok. I made it. I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Tonight I'm finishing off that bottle of wine. Wine is good for your heart, dammit. I've got crock pot freezer dump soup already ready for dinner, and it actually smells pretty good.
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