state of the belly

Tonight I had a cupcake and it didn't hurt my stomach. This is significant.

I think after many, many years of struggling and feelin so sick, I finally have a handle on things. Well, most days. Some days the belly hurts and I can't figure out why, but bellies are weird sometimes. But being able to eat a cupcake and not pay for it afterwards is huge in my book.

The official list of foods I avoid to achieve belly harmony is:
gluten (duh)
dairy
oats, bacon, peppers & tomatoes (I like them but they do NOT like me back)

A few other foods that seem to help:
kombucha, specifically flavors containing ginger
sauerkraut- a forkful with breakfast seems to make things happy
prunes, 2 with my coffee every morning
these herbal supplements, with coffee every morning just to get a good start, and sometimes as needed if the belly is cranky
raw carrots. It's weird, but if I can't stomach anything else, carrots will sit well.

Adding almond milk to my coffee every morning has made a huge difference (dude apparently coffee is brutal on my stomach), and overall things are so much better. 

I'm so happy I've been able to identify and eliminate the foods that have been making me feel so crappy, and add in foods that make me feel better.

breather

Sittin' on the couch. Drinking some wine. 

Took a break from reading a book that made me have dreams that I murdered a friend last night. Very disturbing. The book isn't that graphic, but damn my subconscious grabbed ahold and ran with it.

We picked up sushi at the grocery store for a very low-maintenance dinner. I forget how surprisingly good it is. Managed to spend almost $300 on groceries and we are leaving for vacation in 4 days. Mom had a dream that said to stock up on food, so now we have lots of beans. Plus meat was on sale so we bought extra, and we bought the biggest damn package of paper towels. Our grocery bill has been ridiculous. Things add up quickly.

This week is mellow. I made a bunch of appointments (tb test, dermatologist, car window tint, dog grooming) and plan to cross a bunch of things (like get my crappy car washed) off my to-do list.

Been paying attention to what I'm eating and recording it in an app. Turns out, I don't get nearly enough protein, potassium, calcium, or iron. Kind of important things. Going to try and get a better balance.

Also we're going to get a gym membership. Bit of a story behind that, but the bottom line is I want to get stronger and FG wants to get fitter and if we're shelling out money, we might actually be motivated to do it. My history with gym memberships is inconsistent at best, so I'm not super optimistic, but I -am- feeling slightly more motivated than I have in a long time.

Overall, life is chill right now. Kind of settled into a groove and it hasn't gotten mundane yet. I'm appreciating the breather because you know how things go.

happy thursday

Currently eating an enchilada Amy's meal (with added veggies, of course), drinking some wine, sitting in a newly remodeled hotel room and feelin' fine.

Got sent out of town today to a little hospital for a super easy task. It was a beautiful day for a drive. I am looking forward to visiting the small-town walmart on my way home tomorrow, happy to be traveling for work again, and loving small returns to normalcy, like getting a pedicure sans mask. Seriously, hardly anyone in this town wears a mask and I'm here for it.

I went to the local grocery store and found gf donuts for half off, so breakfast (and probably dessert tonight) will be extra yummy.

Operation, "take over FG's house" has stalled. I got tired of working on the house non-stop and took a break, planted a bunch of flowers in the front, and now I'm feeling motivated again. There are little things here and there that need attention, but the main areas where I need to focus are the porch and the yoga room. 

The yoga room just needs art and organization. The porch is a hard one. I'm not sure what purpose it will serve, what furniture it needs, and what color scheme/theme to go with.
I kinda want to have fun with it without being tacky, and I'm stuck. I kinda want it to have a sunroom vibe but it doesn't actually get much light. I kinda want it to be a bar but the liquor is at home better in the game room. I have so much decision paralysis! It has been sitting empty except for the purple velvet chair and I need to figure something out.

In the meantime maybe pinterest will help me out.

hummus, travel, eyeliner, teeth

Did you know that a tub of hummus has 10 servings, and a bag of tortilla chips has 10 servings? That is a fun coincidence. Also, over the course of 2 days I've eaten 10 servings of both hummus and tortilla chips. Sounds gross, but it didn't actually SEEM like that much food.

We went on vacation for FG's birthday, then I was home for less than 12 hours before I flew out again to help out with a big project in Mississippi for 2 weeks. The days here are long and tiring. I'm ready for a more mellow schedule, maybe with an office day that includes a purring lap kitty.

One of my colleagues wore blue eyeliner yesterday. Like, a cobalt blue eyeliner. It looked so pretty that I went out after work to buy some. I couldn't find the right blue, so I settled on a metallic navy. Of course hers looked better and her skin tone is much different, but I think I like the way it looks. Also, I need to learn how to apply eyeliner and, you know, draw in a straight line. 

I have to pack and get up at 3am to catch my super early flight, but after I land I'm going to the dentist- I've been chewing on one side because of this temporary crown for 3 weeks and I'm so ready to get back to normal.

adultful things and peppers

FG and I recently sat down and wrote our wills. Very informal, literally a Word document that spells out our wishes. I figure at the very least, it's some guidance to our families in the event that we suddenly die.
I think that's so important. Especially because we've experienced the sudden death thing and if something happens, neither of us has any legal claim to the other person's assets. We will eventually get the documents legal but for now this will have to do.
(Good thing we have good relationships with each others' families- neither of us wants to have to haunt people for not carrying out our wishes.)
Because of that conversation, I tracked down some old retirement accounts, which required rifling through some old files in the storage unit, and am going to get those rolled over and organized. Such adult-ful stuff. 

Got that dental work done, with no drugs. It was awful but I got through it. I really need to get a prescription for some light anti-anxiety meds for situations like that. I have some drugs to take, courtesy of Mah, but without a prescription if I get drug tested for some reason, I'm screwed. In the meantime I suffered through it and now my mouth is really sore. Oh, teeth. Why can't you be good?

Oh yeah, the peppers. I heard that the produce you get at grocery stores is genetically altered so that if you try to plant the seeds, they will not grow. To test this, I took some pepper seeds to see what would happen. They sprouted and I have some little plants, but we will see if I get peppers to grow. 

this, that, and the other

I'm really tired tonight and would happily go to bed right now, but I'm waiting for an hour that seems more appropriate to go to sleep.

Let's see, what's going on?

Work- my morale is better, since things have mellowed out for a few weeks and the forecast looks more normal.

Anxieties- I need a root canal in the back, another old filling got loose and decayed underneath. Going to self-medicate this time.

Pleasantries- Dad came to visit. It was so nice to see him. He helped with a project in the backyard, and overall he's just so cool to hang out with. I was sad to see him leave but at the same time happy I don't have to put on pants to get coffee in the morning. Would love to book a trip this year to go to San Diego and see him.

Speaking of trips, we booked a trip to Denver for FG's birthday. The flights were super cheap, and we plan to head into the mountains and avoid the city.

I keep meaning to document some of the garden. The spinach bolted, I did some research and it likes shorter days and colder weather so there's a lesson there. The zucchini has blooms and hopefully I'll get veggies- I've tried it before and I had apparently healthy plants, but never got any veggies. Maybe this is the year for that.

division of labor

Last night, something happened.

I was brushing my teeth when FG walked up to wash his hands. He tried the soap dispenser, and no soap came out. He looked at me and said, "The soap dispenser needs to be refilled."

I continued brushing my teeth for a few seconds before I realized that the casual comment was directed at me. Like it was my job to fill the soap dispenser. I told him that he was more than welcome to refill it, and continued brushing my teeth.

I thought about why that happened. Since I moved in, I've been the one who does most of the cleaning. It's just what I naturally do. I like to clean, and I kind of took it over, to the point where I guess FG started to expect it. 

The problem is, if I do all the work, that's what the expectation becomes. He's a grown man who is perfectly capable of helping maintain the household, yet I'm taking care of all of it. I think it's time to take a step back and start requesting a little more balance when it comes to house cleaning. 

We'll see how long it takes before the soap dispenser gets refilled.