Pumpkin

It took me nearly a month to write this. Oh, how do you write a eulogy that adequately captures a 20-year friendship?

Pumpkin lived a good, long, happy life. I have many years of memories, from spunky kitten to sweet old lady and everything in-between. She had such a big personality and had so many kitty adventures.

Remember how she used to laze on the windowsill? How much she loved a heating pad? Remember the time she brought in a bat? Or the time she got stuck on the roof in the middle of the night? Or when we finally taught her how to use a cat door? Do you remember how she used to love chewing on velcro? Or Lobster Kitty? Or Power Pets? How she used to sit in a box on my desk while I studied? Do you remember the night I brought her home and we gave her a bath and fleas were crawling across her eyes? That little meowy kitten had no idea that she just hit the jackpot.

Friendships, boyfriends, husbands, jobs, milestones, homes... they came and went and she was the constant through it all. I could always count on the cat for a snuggle after a long day. She was my buddy.

The hardest part of her death is breaking the habits that I've had for 20 years. Over the last few weeks, there have been many small moments of sadness when I habitually do something and then remember that she is gone. Today I still found myself looking for her before I remembered that she's not here. I will randomly dream that she's alive again and in my dreams I grab her for one last snuggle. 

There's no more snoring kitty sitting next to me while I'm working at my desk. No more begging for kitchen scraps. No more roaming around outside getting into shenanigans. No more nap buddy. No more meows greeting me when I come home. No more hanging out in the yard while I garden.

When I travel, I have to find something else to look forward to coming home to.

I am not sad that she died, because she lived a really good, long life and she was spoiled until the end, and she did not suffer. Her body was simply thoroughly used up. She borrowed lives from somewhere because there were several times that I was sure it was the end and she bounced back. No, I'm not sad that she died. It was her time.

I'm sad because I miss my friend. 

I know that the habits will fade and I will fall into a life pattern that does not include a cat.

It's crazy to think that an animal came across my path by chance and I shared over half my life with her and will remember her for the rest of my life.

RIP, Punk.