hunting season

I had such a good day. It's hunting season, which means I get a few weekends to myself. I decided to take this weekend to get some things in order. Since we moved back to Katy, things have been in disarray and I've gotten better at adapting but y'all know I thrive on the stability of an orderly household.

I slept in, then putzed around in the kitchen while drinking coffee. Made a pumpkin pie and roasted some butternut squash.

Finished up laundry, then headed out to clean up the front porch. I can no longer excuse the cobwebs as halloween decorations. As I pull out the seasonal stuff, I'm also purging. No sense in packing it back up if we don't have room for it at the river.

I crossed a lot of little things off of the to-do list, like weeding the flowerbeds and cleaning the aerogarden. I was going to order another salad kit, but when I did the math it seemed better to order some organic seeds and a grow anything kit. Excited to grow some kale since mine did not make it though the summer and I refuse to pay $1.50 for a sad bunch at the store.

At around 3 o'clock, I ran out of things to do. So, I started eying the weird windows in the living room. A relic from an old addition that we've talked about removing and replacing with shelves. So I grabbed a hammer and a crowbar, and watched a few youtube videos, and several hours later they are gone. Good thing we have a dumpster at the river because I have no idea how to throw old windows away. I'm sure the regular garbage won't take them.

I did not stop moving today so I'm sure tomorrow I'll be sore but I'm happy to cross off my to-do list and get this project underway.

Pumpkin

It took me nearly a month to write this. Oh, how do you write a eulogy that adequately captures a 20-year friendship?

Pumpkin lived a good, long, happy life. I have many years of memories, from spunky kitten to sweet old lady and everything in-between. She had such a big personality and had so many kitty adventures.

Remember how she used to laze on the windowsill? How much she loved a heating pad? Remember the time she brought in a bat? Or the time she got stuck on the roof in the middle of the night? Or when we finally taught her how to use a cat door? Do you remember how she used to love chewing on velcro? Or Lobster Kitty? Or Power Pets? How she used to sit in a box on my desk while I studied? Do you remember the night I brought her home and we gave her a bath and fleas were crawling across her eyes? That little meowy kitten had no idea that she just hit the jackpot.

Friendships, boyfriends, husbands, jobs, milestones, homes... they came and went and she was the constant through it all. I could always count on the cat for a snuggle after a long day. She was my buddy.

The hardest part of her death is breaking the habits that I've had for 20 years. Over the last few weeks, there have been many small moments of sadness when I habitually do something and then remember that she is gone. Today I still found myself looking for her before I remembered that she's not here. I will randomly dream that she's alive again and in my dreams I grab her for one last snuggle. 

There's no more snoring kitty sitting next to me while I'm working at my desk. No more begging for kitchen scraps. No more roaming around outside getting into shenanigans. No more nap buddy. No more meows greeting me when I come home. No more hanging out in the yard while I garden.

When I travel, I have to find something else to look forward to coming home to.

I am not sad that she died, because she lived a really good, long life and she was spoiled until the end, and she did not suffer. Her body was simply thoroughly used up. She borrowed lives from somewhere because there were several times that I was sure it was the end and she bounced back. No, I'm not sad that she died. It was her time.

I'm sad because I miss my friend. 

I know that the habits will fade and I will fall into a life pattern that does not include a cat.

It's crazy to think that an animal came across my path by chance and I shared over half my life with her and will remember her for the rest of my life.

RIP, Punk.

hold up

Weeks have passed in an instant, it seems. I blinked and several Eras of my life have started and ended.

We got married, Pumpkin died, we took a mini honeymoon, and construction started at the river and we "moved" back to Katy. 

Big, defining life events all crammed into a span of a few weeks and I'm still sorting out the memories and emotions from all of them. I have big thoughts about all of these things that I'd like to record but it's all overwhelming. I went into autopilot mode just to function. 

Work has been busy, too. I hate it when both work and life are busy at the same time. It's much easier when they take turns.

mrs part 2

Well, here we are on the eve of my wedding, and I thought it would be nice to record some of my thoughts.

Today was a whirlwind of to-do lists and excitement that eventually wound down into tiredness. This evening I came home from making bouquets with my mom and sisters, ate some dinner, poured a glass of wine, and drew a hot bath. 

[I'll meal prep and pack tomorrow.]

Reflecting on what I've been through when it comes to relationships, and how long ago that seems. How lucky I am that I was able to heal from whatever ~that~ was, and how lucky I am to have found someone who makes the stars shine brighter. I am about to marry a man who is kind, warm, smart, supportive, and absolutely the highlight of every day. Who loves my family and has a great family that I fit in naturally. It's always been so easy to be with him.

Tomorrow I'll be a wife again. But this time I'll also be a stepmom, And (officially) a grandma. Titles that I'm so honored to have.

Looking forward to the wedding, not just because DUH, but because weddings are affairs where literally it's all your favorite people and everyone is there to offer well-wishes and have a good time. It's the best kind of party.

This chapter of my life is going to be a good one. 

a few things

Today I mopped the floors for the first time in 2 months. The dog puked a few times last night, and after cleaning it up I decided it was time to give the floors a proper clean. I counted it as cardio.

I had to change the water 3 times it was so dirty. Which surprised me because we run roomba several times a week and the floors didn't LOOK that dirty. But I guess they were. Now my back hurts haha

Tomorrow is my bachelorette party! I opted for a low-key, dress up in your sparkles and bring a bottle of wine for a MEGA-tasting with my favorite gals. Should be a blasty blast. 

Work has been mega busy lately and I'm involved in an initiative that should be good for my career, but because of it I've been right in that "Tired but Not Burnt Out Yet" zone. Basically I'm done trying to hustle in my professional life. I'm happy to coast until retirement, but they've been making me work and I'm not used to it. In the last 2 weeks, I've visited each coast. Talk about jet lag.

Wedding planning is in crunch time. We're in that time frame where a lot of stuff has to be checked off the list and it's kinda stressful, kinda fun. I did the alterations on my dress, which was nerve-wracking but adequate. I'm still adding the beading to the bodice, which is tedious but actually relaxing. You know, lots of immediate contradictions going on here.

The river house is deep into the negotiations of getting raised. We've met with the architecture company, and if we can get some details ironed out, the project could start as early as mid-October. Which, between that and the wedding and upcoming taxes and FF's lack of income, we could be pinching some pennies pretty tight for a while. Good thing we like beans.

That's all for now.

well I'm old

The other day we were in Hobby Lobby and I had a couple of bolts of fabric on my hip. FF asked how much they were and I glanced at the top edge of the bolts... and the labels were blurry. 

It was at that moment that I realized I might need readers. I've noticed lately that my eyes have been really tired and I have to blink a lot/ things are out of focus when I'm on my phone or computer for a while.

So I dug out some old readers that I used to use when I wore contacts a lot and my eyes got tired. Let's say I noticed a difference. FF is very amused, probably because I tease him about being old all the time and now I've made a large step to join him.

I've been meaning to go to the eye doctor (and the regular doctor, and the dermatologist, and the gyno...), but I never did find a doctor when I moved to Katy and now that we're at the river 90% of the time, I suppose I'll need to find one out here.

Anyway, when it comes to aging, at this point in my life I've got plentiful grey hairs and now I need reading glasses. I actually don't mind the grey because it's sparkly, and I'm excited to finally be able to get some cute tacky reading glasses and wear them on a pretty chain around my neck.

The wrinkles on my chest and sun spots on my face, however, I do mind. For the record.

bleach and jet ski lessons

My new favorite cleaning product: A tampon dipped in bleach.

This isn't groundbreaking, but it did save me from having to re-caulk a really awkward portion of the shower due to a set of stubborn mildew stains. I dipped the tampon in the bleach bottle (the string really came in handy lol), then set the tampon on the stain and walked away for a few hours. I've been trying to get rid of those stains for over a year and that's what finally worked. Horray!

We finally got around to an official jet ski lesson. I've been hesitant because I don't particularly enjoy watercraft, partly because I'm not much of a thrill seeker but mostly because of the motion sickness aspect (I get seasick on a hammock, y'a'll). But I have to learn how to drive ours and I would like to get comfortable on them.

I figured that it would be like driving a car- you are less likely to get seasick if you're the one driving. That's mostly true. The "you're on water" sensation is unavoidable but when you're moving it's less noticeable. It was uncomfortable but bearable. 

To be honest, I was scared. It seems like you're going really fast and I never felt stable or in control the entire time. Which means I have to keep doing it.

On a more positive note, I will say that it's really cool getting to see different parts of the river. There is a lot of beauty and a lot of neat houses. 

We picked a relatively calm day to go out, but we passed a few wake boats and I screamed in terror going over the waves. I caught air a few times and once I get over the terror I could see how that might eventually be fun.

healthier choices

Following the trend of making healthier choices, I've found myself mindlessly scrolling through social media for hours at a time lately. So after I see the content from people that I actually follow, I'm making the conscious choice to set the phone down and do something else.

So far instead of mindless scrolling, I've:

organized the tackle box

tried a few new cleaning methods on the shower (nothing worked great)

pet the cat

watered the garden

sat outside and watched the clouds, nature, whatever

researched organizing ideas for specific spots (like under the kitchen sink)

cleaned out a kitchen cabinet

picked out some wedding songs

taken a nap

I'm going to order a couple of books from my wishlist to have on hand and there are a million little projects around here I can take on. I think my eyes are happier, too. They get so strained looking at a screen for so long.

Also I figured out a good option for physical activity. You're going to laugh because it's so obvious. I got the idea when FF and I were taking a dip in the river to cool off one evening.

DUH. We live on the river. We can SWIM. Even hopping out of the tube to tread water is good physical activity. I haven't swam for exercise in many years but it's so perfect in this heat. 

So there you go.

crabs and dresses

This afternoon we checked the crab traps and were delighted to find 7 crabs waiting for us. So instead of meatloaf for dinner, we dined on crab on the back porch in our bathing suits. Does it get any better than that?

Then we headed down to the water and fished for a while. Caught a few things that didn't matter, but it was fun anyway. 

Also notable:

-Sewed a few more pillow covers for some new-to-us pillows that a friend gave to us. Brainstormed how I'm going to fit a craft area into this house once we're here full-time. Have not come up with a solution yet.

-Wedding dress: I inspected my it and determined that I can probably take the straps up. I've done it before and it's a more delicate fabric situation, but I think I can handle it.

I also noticed that the stitching around the armholes is scratchy- they used that clear thread that is never comfortable and I only wore it for a few minutes and my skin was red. I might have to take that out and re-sew it with a softer thread or I'll wind up with some irritated arms. That should be fun- ripping out clear thread sounds SO easy.

The bling situation is definitely happening. I bought some glass beads to sew onto the bodice and I think it's going to add that little oomph. 

Here's hoping that I don't fuck it up, ha!

I ordered some silver shoes (flats because let's be real here) to wear, and a veil. It's getting closer and so real yay!

It was a really great weekend, so relaxing. 

good saturday

Today was gloriously lowkey.

I slept until 10, then read magazines while I drank my coffee.

After breakfast, we headed into town and ran a few errands.

Had a late lunch at the local mexican restaurant so FG could sample the fajitas and see if it's a good catering option for the engagement party.

Got home, I fell asleep for a few hours with the cat, and then we ate dinner and re-spooled all of the fishing reels. Of about 10 fishing poles, we could only use 2. They were all in various stages of old and un-spooled and missing hooks, etc. I got to learn something new and now we can just grab a pole and fish. I love that accomplishment. 

Mah invited us over at some point today, and it became a topic of conversation that once we move out here, it will become more difficult to randomly pop over. From home, it's a good 40 minutes to Mah's depending on traffic, but from the river it's at least an hour. Sure, if you plan it it's doable but last-minute plans get less realistic. Not just to go see Mah, but for anyone. Our social circle might change a lot.

OH- I got another bout of poison ivy. That plant is pure evil. At least this time it's not on my face. I think it's from when we were doing yard work and the weedeater kicked up some debris on my leg. It's just a little patch but man it's annoying. Calamine lotion isn't doing much; I think it's been too humid for it to dry properly. Dad mentioned that there's a product that worked really well for him. Gotta try that. What a pain.

The gardens (both at the river and at home) are in the beginning stages of summer survival mode. Everything wilts at mid-day, and there are blank spots that I'm tempted to fill in, but I know that anything I plant now will surely perish. I keep reminding myself that this is the time to water, fertilize, and maintain. I also think that I need to re-evaluate what gets planted in "full" sun because here, that means something entirely different  than it does everywhere else, and really only succulents thrive. At least the armadillos have been staying away from the beds lately. They are harmless little creatures (if you don't count the potential leprosy), but once they start digging up my gardens, it means war.

I got some new fabric to re-cover the pillows and also some glass beads to sew into the bodice of the wedding dress. Today got away from us, but maybe tomorrow I'll have time to start on those projects.

Or, technically today. Because it's past midnight. I guess that's what happens when you take a solid evening nap.

catching up

Feeling refreshed after this weekend. I think everyone had a good time. It was relaxing and it's so fun to watch the kids have fun.

Currently sittin' on the dock (of the river). Got a fishing pole in the water and FF's classic rock playlist going upstairs. The cat is inside having a delicious snack and the dog is wandering around in the yard.

I have a weekend ahead of me with no plans and four magazines came in the mail today. It's going to be so good.

This week the contractors came by to prepare bids to raise the house. Things are moving along! I have a feeling that whole process is going to be a wild ride.

We need to start planning this engagement party in a couple of weeks. The plan is to cater, hire cleaners, and take the major burdens off of us. What were we thinking inviting 36 family members to the river? 

We are slowly realizing that we can't have huge crowds out here. Everyone needs to be fed and that adds$ up quick. We have 1 bathroom. At some point a line develops and you run out of hot water. Plus all those bedsheets have to be washed and we have a smaller than average washer and dryer and a really old septic system. In a stroke of genius I remembered the laundromat around the corner and I think that's going to be a game changer. We will always be hosting people out here, and I think after a year we're starting to get smarter about it.

Wedding plans are also coming along. I was a little nervous but I fit into my dress perfectly. All it needs is the straps taken up a little and maybe the bottom hem taken up. I plan to add some bling to it, too. It's SO pretty and I love it.

We're having fun planning the random little details and I think it's going to be a great party.

fitness and health

I haven't eaten a potato chip in 26 days. 

I'm really freaking proud of myself!

We noticed we had fallen into a pattern of unhealthy eating habits, and determined it was time to start making better choices. So, after our all-inclusive trip to Cancun, followed by a big party at the river, we climbed back on the wagon. Nothing extreme; we are simply consistently choosing healthier options when it comes to our diets. We are both motivated because my stomach can't handle all the junk and it would be nice to put a dent in FF's A1c. These need to be sustainable changes because nobody sticks to a restrictive diet long-term.

The upcoming nuptials are also partly motivating, because we want to look nice in the photos. I want to have toned arms and FF doesn't want a gut. Although I like my softer body, I am motivated to get a little bit more toned to make sure I fit into my wedding dress. When they measured, I was between sizes and they ordered the smaller size to make sure my boobs didn't fall out. But the other stuff has to fit too!

We also quit the gym.

I know that's contradictory of the previous paragraphs, but we signed up and never set foot in the place and kept paying for 2 years. Like I said, I don't like gyms and FF is not motivated. So I'm happy to not be wasting our money on that anymore. 

Not completely sure how we're going to add in consistent physical activity, but I would really like to explore lifting weights. After I got bored of push ups, I bought myself some 10 lb weights and started lifting them daily just to maintain. I am stronger that I used to be, but I would really like to be STRONG.

On to mental health.

I have identified a couple of key life factors that I know affect my mental health and overall mood: 

I need a clean house and I need downtime. 

I know I can't live in a dirty house and I can't be ON all the time.

I need to sit on the couch in my clean house and slowly drink my coffee while I read a magazine. And then I need to go craft or something. No socializing. No bra. No obligations. I need this at least once a fortnight. I know this about myself.

 

If I don't have those things, my stress levels rise and everything else snowballs. So I've been doing my best to fit those things in regularly. I schedule a day with no plans every couple of weeks, and although I really enjoy cleaning, sometimes I'm too tired and I'll delegate tasks to FF. 

Sometimes I can't fit my mental health buffers in. For example for the last few months, work has been chaos, our weekends have been busy, and I've been too tired to clean, even after delegating. I need a nap in the afternoons. I feel burnt out. 

So, we called the maid (at BOTH houses), and I took an extra day of PTO on the holiday weekend so that I get to chill. And I'll reset and begin the cycle again.

Feeling good about all this.

game changer

This is important.

I have found the easiest way to clean windows.

The river has several very large windows that get grimy quickly and it looks really obvious when they're dirty. I didn't pay a bunch of money to get new windows only to have obstructed views.

After exactly one time of struggling with windex streaks and rubbing until my arms were jelly, I ordered myself a few things that have changed my life.

1. Libman concentrated window cleaner

2. A microfiber scrubber and squeegee set

I had all the windows clean, inside and out, with no scrubbing, streak-free the first time, and didn't even break a sweat. I was so amazed. It worked so well. 

I raved about it for approximately 8 hours, until FF was tired of hearing about it. I don't care. It was awesome.

I had extra soap, so I tried it on the glass shower doors and while it didn't cut the hard water spots as well as the brillo pads, it did a very good job and would be a great in-between-scrubbings option. It took hardly any effort and the doors looked great.

I wonder what else I can clean with these?

Promotions

I'm sitting in a hotel room soaking my toe and there's no cat trying to drink the water.

Traveling for work is different now that there's someone nice that I leave at home.

So, Foxy Grandpa has been promoted to Foxy Fiancé. It wasn't a huge surprise because I literally gave him pictures of rings that I liked a few months ago, but I honestly thought he was going to sit on it for a while.

The thought did cross my mind that he might propose that night, because with both of our families gathered it would be a good time to do it. But I kept watching him the day of, looking for signs of excess excitement or nervousness, or anything out of the ordinary, but he was cool as a cucumber so I figured it wasn't the night... until he was down on one knee!

I wouldn't say I'm in a hurry to get married, but I'm not trying to dawdle, either. I'm ready. I'm also not trying to spend a bunch of money but I do want to do all the wedding stuff that I missed out on the last time. We'll see how this works out.

Speaking of promotions, I got a promotion at work that came with a hefty 8% raise so heck yeah! The current plan is to put the excess into my retirement plan because now that I'm about to marry someone 15 years older than me, early retirement is the goal. I'll be damned if he retires and I keep going to work for 15 more years.

no toenail

I'd like to go on record saying that having a toenail removed is no joke.

My big toe had one of those random cuticle infections a while back, but it resolved itself and then the nail started to grow out weird, leading to another infection. Hoping to avoid recurring infections, I saw a podiatrist who recommended removing the nail. 

I thought it would be no big deal.
I was wrong. It sucks. It hurts. It looks freaking nasty. It's unnerving.

For starters, removing the gauze the day after the procedure was terrible. The gauze was stuck to the wound so bad that even after soaking for hours, I couldn't remove it. I tried. FG tried. I cried. I had to go back to the doctor to get it removed.

It is SO sensitive. For example, when I took a shower, the water droplets hitting it was so painful.

I'm hoping these first few days are the worst and it heals really fast because this freaking sucks.

Take care of your feet, people.

planties

Hello.

There have been many times in the past few months where I wanted to stop and record something for this little old blog, but didn't have my computer with me and the moment passed. Lots of good memories.

We have spent a lot of time at the river. The projects seem never-ending but they're getting more fun. Like we made our own headboards from tongue and groove planks that we burned, to match some of the other accents in the house. Better than spending a bunch of money for a headboard that 5,000 other people have.

Recently, I've spent the past few weeks digging around in the dirt. Yes, it's early to be starting the year's garden, but it's been warm and I am gambling that there won't be another freeze this year. Got all the beds at home cleaned out, and put some new ones in at the river, because I can't live in a home without flowers and herbs and an experimental veggie.

At home, I'm waiting to plant new stuff until I see what grows back from last year. I've already identified a number of flowers that I thought were dead but have new growth.

At the river, I'm planting mostly flowering succulent-type plants that will live though watering neglect. Because let's be real.

You know my goal is to cover every available inch in flowers, and I'm well on my way. But I'm trying to take cost-effective, see-what-grows approach. This year I am relying heavily on regrowth, seeds, and cuttings turned into transplants. I'm really hoping those hardy zinnias from the last couple of years re-appear, and I ambitiously planted lavender seeds in front of the roses. I've been having a lot of fun with the gardens this year. It's so fascinating how things grow. (or don't)

I did spring for a couple of bottle brush trees, one at each house, because hummingbirds love it.