29 October 2009


Hoo I'm tired.

Highlights of my day:

1. I told Ashley she could do her "30 day shred" workout video in my room this morning, and I decided to join her. Holy crap I was DYING. I can see how that thing can work in just 30 days.

2. On the way to school I saw a spider on the windshield, and it crawled up on the visor. Just as I was thinking, "I should probably kill it so it doesn't fall on me," Yep, it fell on me. I screamed and tried to swat it off of me and not get into an accident on the freeway, and it fell somewhere beyond where I could see.

I took the next exit, and I happened to come upon a cop who had pulled someone over. Of course as I'm exiting he decided to cut me off and get back on the road, and as I was trying to find a place to pull over he was saying something over the loudspeaker that I just ignored. He must not have been talking to me because he didn't pull me over or anything. I got out, made sure the spider wasn't on me, and checked the car. Of course I didn't find the spider. I still don't want to think about where it went.

3. As I was coming up the escalator leaving school today, there was an old man at the top. When my friend and I got to the top, he asked us if we were leaving for the day. We said yes, then he started a conversation with us, asking if we were nurses. We said no, we were students, and that we were lab students. He joked in that old man flirty way that there were so many pretty nurses at the hospital. (I know this is coming out creepy, but it really was cute.)
He then said that his wife was there for chemo and that the hospital was so nice, and everyone was really nice. At that point we had reached the point where we had to turn on the skybridge to the parking garage, and wished him a nice day.
I felt kinda bad and wished I had a few free minutes to talk with him. He just seemed so lonely and sad and wanted someone to talk to while his wife was getting her treatment. I know it's silly, but I felt guilty for not stopping to talk with him more.

4. I got mexican food for dinner. Now I'm full, tired, and don't want to study any more. I think I'll go to bed early and get up early to study before the test. I wish I could say I'm looking forward to this weekend (especially because it's Halloween!), but it looks like my Halloween will be mostly full of studying. Ughh.

28 October 2009


My snooze button is getting a lot of attention this semester. I'm actually starting to wear it out and you have to push extra hard to get it to work.

Tomorrow is another lab practical with a split day, and I about jumped out of my seat volunteering for the afternoon group.

It's not that I'm staying up late; I'm going to bed at a decent hour every night. I just hate mornings. I have a feeling I'll be working second shift when I graduate...

27 October 2009


I am thrilled. Today it is cold enough to rock the hoodie!! At least for the morning, anyway.

The high is supposed to be a beautiful 71 degrees, and I will be stuck in a lab all day. At least our lab has windows. Most labs don't. I hope I end up working in a lab with windows.

The cool weather is only going to last for today before it hits the 80s again. I hate Houston's weather.

24 October 2009


What a disastrous morning.

Last night I worked on the fondant pieces for Dayna's boat baby shower cake, and baked the cakes so this morning I would only have to put it together. It went smoothly, and things turned out really nice.

I got up this morning and put the cake together and it turned out really cute. As I was walking from the counter to put the cake on the table, I tripped over the little bin that I keep my cake decorating supplies in, and I dropped the cake.

I could see it in slow motion sailing through the air and landing in a pile... it was awful. Like something you'd see in a movie. I sat there for a second looking at it and I'm sure my mouth was hanging open, then I stooped down, grabbed a chunk, and ate it. It was delicious, of course.

After my slow-motion stupor ended, I screamed for mom and then we began a frenzy of running to the store to pick up some emergency cupcakes while I cleaned up the mess and tried to salvage some pieces. I was able to save the little fondant baby Stephen on a life preserver, and the life preserver that was stuck to the side of the boat. Thankfully, Sam's came to the rescue and whipped up some cupcakes really fast. I put the fondant life preservers on the cupcakes, but that's all I could do.

I can't believe I dropped that cake. I didn't even get a picture of it. I know Dayna understands, but I really wanted her to have a nice baby shower cake. And thank GOD we were able to get some cupcakes at the last minute. Maybe I can make up for it on his 1st birthday. ;o)

The shower was fun, but we had to leave kinda early because my mom wasn't feeling well. It was just a really strange morning/ afternoon.

22 October 2009

Hey look

We have a microscope in the lab that can take pictures. SUPER COOL.

Here's my blood... and one of my white blood cells. I think it's a reactive lymph.

Did urinalysis today. I was kinda disappointed that my results were unremarkable... but relieved at the same time. :o)

20 October 2009

it's gotta be at least thursday.

Today, I drove to school into the sunrise. Twelve hours later, I drove home into a rather cool-looking sunset.

Hungry, tired, ready for this week to be over but, surprisingly, not crabby.

19 October 2009

my task at hand

don't you worry just hurry
kuz you have got a lot to lose here
but I'm catching up on that lost sleep
do I have a lot to lose?

now run along kuz you had best be on your way
hey hey hey

A on my test this morning. Why do I still feel like I could have done better?

I'm not that much of an overachiever.

Time to read about cerebral spinal fluid analysis. Got some mike n ikes for company; I'm all set.

...Do I?

18 October 2009

who stole the cookies?

I made cookies this morning. The peanut butter ones with a Hershey's kiss in the middle. I had them in a bag sitting here all day while I've been studying (OMG SNORE!!).

The bag is empty now and I'm pretty sure it was me who ate them, but I don't remember eating them.

17 October 2009

study break

It is a positively glorious day. Sunshiney and cool with a nice breeze. I think all the windows and doors being open is making my allergies act up; I've been fighting a bad headache for a few days.

Saw Couples Vacation last night with a few classmates & Akhtar. It was good for a few laughs and it felt nice to be out doing normal stuff. Came home to my family sitting in the backyard drinking around a fire. They ended up burning the old man chair. I swear we are so hillbilly sometimes, lol!

I went and got a little retail therapy this morning. Bought a shrug-type thingy from Ross. It's red and has sequins on it. I know that sounds tacky but it's actually really cute.

I think I'm on my way to the library to study. I haven't been doing as well as I'd like on my exams. I study and I think I know the material, but I miss enough little details that it brings my grade down. I think I'm just getting tired and it's harder to remember everything. This week I have three exams so I will be grouchy and tired and stressed. *sigh*

Haunted house tonight! That should be fun.
I hope this headache goes away.

15 October 2009

oogie boogie girl

I am a pretty clean person. In fact, I think I'm the cleanest person in this house. I keep things tidy, except for a little dust here and there. The rest of my family is pretty gnarly sometimes. I love you guys, but look at your freaking rooms. Nuff said.

Anyway, the point is I keep a pretty clean house.

SO why is it that I attract the strangest infestations of bugs? Giant mutant spiders (which, knock on wood, have been awol lately), moths multiplying in the pantry, a roach living in the kitchen that kept pooping in one corner, and now carpet beetles in the old man chair! I don't get it!

Now I have the heebie jeebies because when we moved the chair there were a ton of beetles/ larvae under it and I had to vacuum them all up. GROSS!!

The chair went outside SO FAST and I've been banished from my room until the poison my dad sprayed dissipates.


oatmeal for breakfast

It's fucking early.

I have to be at school at 7.

Yesterday afternoon I was tired but I didn't want to nap, because then I wouldn't fall asleep at bedtime. So, I drank one of those bottled frappucinos and a cup of tea at around 3. I stayed up and got some good studying in. Then I went and walked/ran at about 530, hoping to tire myself out, and it worked.

I went to bed at about 9, and tossed and turned until 11 or so- of course. My brain was awake even though my body was pooped.

Woke up at 4 to let pumpkin out. I normally don't have a problem going back to sleep, but I laid there awake until 5, which is when my alarm goes off- but I never actually get up until a variable number of snooze buttons later. Since I was awake, and had been awake for an hour, I got up and got ready.

I usually wear at least mascara every day. I think it does wonders to make me look awake. I haven't worn makeup in about a month because I've been tired and don't have much time in the morning. In fact, most of the girls in my class don't wear makeup. No surprise there.
Anyway, since I had extra time I swiped some mascara on my lashes. Now my eyes are kinda itchy and watery. Was it always this way? Did I just never notice it and now I do because I haven't worn it in such a long time? Dunno, but I wish I had left them alone. I've gotten used to being able to rub my eyes whenever I want.

I can feel some kind of sinus issue trying to make me sick. I'm fighting it. I can't get sick!

There are coffee grounds in my cup. Balls.

12 October 2009


Dude, it happened again.

I was sitting in class, feeling really hungry, when I started to feel lightheaded, weak, and shaky.

Then I felt like I was dunked into a tub of icy hot, and my head started feeling intensely tingly and I knew I was having another one of those strange moments. I couldn't get up and walk out because I was afraid I'd fall down, so I just put my head in my hands and tried to be discrete.

Then I could see the blackness coming in out of my peripheral vision, but I knew that I wouldn't actually pass out because I haven't when this has happened before. I just closed my eyes and waited for it to pass. I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't see anything.

I broke out in a cold sweat and I could feel my forehead getting clammy, and my heart was pounding.

I don't know how long it lasted, but it felt like forever. I am so glad it passed before the lecture was over, but I felt exhausted and shaky and my stomach felt crappy.

I went down to lunch, but I couldn't eat anything because my stomach was so upset, so I left early for the day.

I took a little nap and my stomach feels a little better but now my head hurts.

What the heck is this? I haven't noticed a correlation between the few times that it has happened. Once was driving down the freeway, once was in the middle of the night during a migraine, once was when I was changing my prilosec dosage, and this one was in the middle of freaking class when I was starving.
They seem to be getting less intense each time it happens. Really odd.

11 October 2009


I wish I had the means to jet away to California whenever I wanted to.
Even when it's deliciously rainy and chilly and calm here.
I always want to run away to the west coast whenever I start to hate my life here. As if my problems couldn't possibly catch up with me 15oo miles away. Wouldn't it be nice?

Do I feel a huge amount of resentment that the main problem I'd like to run away from gets to be there, tainting my oasis? Is that fate or just cruel fucking irony? I wish I had that figured out.

I wish I wasn't so exhausted.

Even though I'm working really hard towards a goal and in the long run I like what I'm doing, I feel like I'm just on autopilot: learn the material, take a test. Every single day like a broken record. It's a necessary thing; you have to learn what you're doing before you can apply it.
I just wish I felt like I had a purpose on a day-to-day basis. It's been a long time since I felt like I've contributed anything to someone else's life, and it makes me feel useless.

I wish I was able to spend more time with my friends. There is just not enough time in the day and not very much energy in my bones when I do have the time. At least next week will be my last week with 3 exams. It starts to become more manageable after that and I will be able to breathe.

Do I nap? Or do I try to recreate a GF version of those pumpkin tarts Missy brought over yesterday?

Oh- and I decided to send my grandma flowers- sorry Tony, the rollerblades will have to wait till Christmas.

09 October 2009


What do you get an 87-year-old for her birthday?
By that age you pretty much have everything you need, and I don't want to give her a boring gift like socks or slippers.

I need suggestions!

08 October 2009


So yesterday I studied a small amount while I was waiting at the car place. I went home to my disgusting living space, because I've been putting studying before cleaning. I did the dishes, vacuumed and swept the floors, cleaned off the table that always turns into the "clutter table," changed my bedsheets, and felt a lot better.

Then, while making a potentially perfect batch of chocolate chip cookies, I discovered only after adding in the chocolate chips that a moth had taken them over. EEEEeeewww. I sadly threw out the cookie dough, and brought ice cream instead. Last night I went through my pantry looking for more moths, fearing another infestation. I didn't find any, but now I have a really clean pantry.

I headed over to see Dayna and Scott, who I haven't seen in at least a month. I had a great time.

I woke up this morning realizing that I have a full day of lab ahead of me, I woke up tired, and I am probably going to be exhausted at the end of it. Have I studied for the test Friday morning? Nope. It's ridiculous that I've studied all week (for other tests), but taking the time to clean my house and have dinner with my friend puts me so far behind. All I wanted was one evening that didn't consist of straight studying.

Ok, venting over. Time to study before class.

07 October 2009

rude people and breaks

-I took my car in after class today to get the radio looked at. I don't know what was going on, but the guy helping me was RUDE. He was super short with me when he was asking questions about what was wrong, so I figured he was having a bad day and tried to be extra nice with my tone.

Then he held the door open for me and I followed him to my car. He got in the front seat, so I got in the passenger seat. I figured he wanted me to tell him what was wrong with the radio. He sat there for a second, wrote something down, then got out and wrote something off the windshield, shut the door, and left. All without a word or a glance in my direction.

I figured he left to get something so I sat there for a second. Of course I was a little confused until I realized that instead of saying, "Oh hey I just need to write some stuff down. You can go wait inside," he was going to straight up ignore me and be a huge dick. I dont know what crawled into his panties, but I hope karma gets him back for being a douche to me for no reason.

The plus side? I get a brand new radio thingy, and it's covered under warranty. The part doesn't come in until November, but at least now I don't have to worry about the warranty expiring.

-My mom must be worried about me, because I got flowers and a card (and a random bag of mini marshmallows?) today. It's pretty badass that my parents randomly tell me they're proud of me when they know I've been working my ass off lately.

I should have gotten it from a higher angle so you can actually see the flowers, but I don't feel like messing with it. :oP

-I actually got a 100 on my exam today even though I studied only a few hours for it. The instructor decided to make like 85% of the exam from the questions in the back of each chapter, word-for-word. I studied mainly from those, so I felt almost like I was cheating when I was taking the exam. That, and she gave a 10-point bonus question. What a nice little break and confidence booster after that last exam...

-Dinner at Dayna's tnite. I haven't seen her in a while and I'm really looking forward to it.

We got out of class early today, so maybe I have time to nap... or study... or nap. I just changed my sheets and you know that's like the best thing ever.

06 October 2009


I miss her. :o/

Don't feel like elaborating.

No time to study for this test tomorrow.
Feeling blah, tired, and down.

03 October 2009

wah wah

You know how a couple of weeks ago I mentioned I was stressed and would probably cry soon? Well, I never did until last night.

I was pissed off about something unrelated to school, and I called Chris to get out of the house. I went over there and started to heat up a frozen dinner while bitching to him about what I was mad about. Well, he disagreed and told me to be more understanding about the whole thing. First of all, I am a very understanding person and I felt I was justified to be pissed off.

For some reason that was the tipping point. I've been sleep-deprived and brain-stuffed for a few weeks now. My unknown in lab took longer than I thought, was more stressful than I thought, and I left school feeling strung out with a bad headache. Then I came home, got pissed off on top of things, then I got criticized by the one person who I thought would back me up.

I had my back to him in the kitchen, and he was on the couch in the living room. I could feel the frustration and the urge to cry start creeping up, but I didn't want to start bawling over something stupid in the middle of his kitchen. I'm more of a private crier. So, I tried to vent and calm down by flinging and slamming things around in the kitchen.

1. I don't know if anyone else is this way, but if I'm about to cry I can hold back tears, take a few deep breaths and wait for it to pass- unless someone asks what's wrong. I don't know, it's like those words automatically make me cry.
2. I can also usually avoid crying if I can keep my mouth closed and I don't have to speak. If I open my mouth and try to talk, it will always come out shaky and high-pitched like I'm about to cry, and then of course I do.

So, of course, my little tantrum in the kitchen provokes Chris to ask me a question, to which I don't respond otherwise I would violate rule #2. Then, my silence provokes him to ask the dreaded rule # 1 question. Goddammit.

I really tried hard not to, but I started crying (as quietly as possible). Even with my back to him I knew by then that I had his attention and he was wondering why the fuck I was crying while stirring my meal.

So, I cried and blubbered a little bit. The thing is, I felt like I could cry for a long time. It wasn't one of those quick, "have a cry and feel better" moments. However, I wasn't going to sit there and have a long cry in Chris' living room and freak him out even more, so I sucked it up.

So, after my unsatisfying crying session, I have a feeling in the near future something small and insignificant will set me off again. Joy.

On an unrelated note, the breast cancer walk was kinda cool. I kinda want to get a big group together next year and wear t-shirts that say something funny and witty about boobs. Oh yeah, and raise money for the Susan G. Komen organization.

02 October 2009

dreams and morning mayhem

I had some stressful dreams last night. I studied aplastic anemias before bed, and in my dreams I was frantically trying to diagnose people based on their MCV and reticulocyte counts. I remember halfway waking up and hearing some major thunder.

At about 715 I was woken up by the muffled voice of my mom screaming up the stairs, and the thunk of my brother falling out of bed and walking across the room, which is right above mine. Then pumpkin wanted to be let in, so I got up and let her in. I flopped back on the bed facedown, and in a few minutes mom cracked open the door whispering, "Jen, are you sick?" I mumbled into the pillow that I didn't have to be at school till 1. Then, I heard my dad whistling and getting stuff ready in his truck, which is right outside my window. At that point, I figured God wanted me out of bed, so I got up. I slept in a little bit...

In other fabulous news, that major thunder I thought I heard brought some cool air through! I've got the door open and I'm enjoying the slightest of bites in the air.
My plan is to study today and tonight, get up early and walk for breast cancer tomorrow, and study till the evening. I miss my friends and I want to go out dammit. My cleavage hasn't been exposed in far too long.