25 February 2011

dreamy dream

Had a really bizarre dream last night.

I dreamed that it was present day and I was at work releasing results when I saw Chris' name on a test order. It's significant to note that I haven't heard from him in several days. Surprised, I looked at where it was from and it was from ICU. So I ran down there and he was in one of the beds, sick.

He was tiny and frail and super skinny, like a lot of the patients I see. When I hugged him he was bony and you could see his ribs and shoulder bones sticking out.

I don't remember asking how he got there, but there he was. And I was so happy to see him. Then he got out of bed and started messing with his laptop and talking to me, almost as if he was fine and it was some kind of undercover operation.

It was so real, though.

When I woke up I knew I had dreamed about him but I couldn't remember what about. It didn't hit me until I set foot in the hospital this morning when I all of a sudden I remembered. And the dream had been so real and it was still very early and I hadn't had much coffee so I almost wanted to go to ICU to see if he was there.
But I figured if it was real, I wouldn't have forgotten about it, haha. I also couldn't help but glance over at "his" bed when I went there today to pick up some labs, and it was empty.

Also, I saw somewhere that they're making an Anna Nicole Smith opera. I'd go.

24 February 2011


Watching Bruce Almighty with Sue.

"I would not be one bit surprised if Morgan Freeman really turned out to be God."


22 February 2011

endorphins vs reality

Today I drove home from work dreading the evening.

The family was leaving for MS to see Frankish and go to the funeral. So I was feeling kinda bummed and lonely, and tired.

I was also thinking about how surprised I was that my brother's friend lost control of the car. He was wearing his seat belt, but suffered fatal head injuries. Not complicated. How did that happen? I kept thinking about my accident. As I lost control and saw the freeway spinning in a blur, never once did the thought cross my mind that I was going to die. The potential was definitely there, but it was just not something I considered.
I wonder what he was thinking? Was he like me, so faithful that he would not be hurt? Or was he terrified that he was going to die? I just can't believe such a young, good person died so suddenly.
I really feel like he needed to walk away like I did.

Coupled with a bad night's sleep and the fact that I haven't heard from Chris since he flew back to CA on Sunday had me in a weepy kind of mood.

Anyway, those thoughts were going through my head when I decided to go work out. I figured the endorphins would help.

And you know what? They did. It was just a light workout but I felt so much brighter afterward.

And even now, I can reflect back on those somber thoughts and my soul doesn't feel quite so weighed down and heavy. But oh, my heart breaks for that kid, and for my brother and everyone else who is mourning.

20 February 2011


I don't know why I've heard about so much tragedy happening to good people lately.

First the news about my old roommate, then an old friend, and last night a close friend of my brother's was killed in a car accident. He's absolutely devastated. I want so bad to make him feel better.

I've never lost someone that close, so I can't even imagine how he's feeling. And there's nothing I can do to help. All day long my mom was crying, my other brother was upset, and there was a general feeling of mourning around the house.

A true tragedy. He was so young. My heart aches for everyone who knew him.

19 February 2011

really good wine

Really good wine.

Like really good.

Really good cheese, surprisingly good edamame, and decent free redbox movie. Thanks to Jen for the code to use at Walgreens- dvd at wag (no spaces) gets you a free rental at a walgreens redbox.

I heart Missy and her trips to "The Whole Foods" and a really nice mellow night.

17 February 2011

check it

In a much better mood today. Maybe because I anticipated the shit-ness today. And because we have AC again. I handled it much better.

So my after-work routine consists of having a light snack if I need one, and drinking my green tea while reading blogs and checking facebook. It does wonders for decompressing after a long day. I just need 10 minutes to sit in front of my computer and chill before I get back to life.

Then I go whatever- pay bills, go work out (some days), take a shower, make dinner, and prepare for work the next day. That includes packing lunch, getting the coffeemaker ready, and picking out my clothes. Yes, I wear scrubs every day but if I pick them out beforehand (including bra, socks and undies), my morning goes really smooth. I need all the smooth I can get at 4am.

I'm usually vegged out and ready for bed at around 7. Lately I've been falling asleep and not waking up until the alarm goes off. That includes not getting up to pee, and not hearing phone calls or text messages. I used to hear them and wake up. Now I'm out cold.

Today my routine will be slightly interrupted. Today is my amazing mom's birthday!!

Also, I'm an auntie once again! Sweet baby Chloe was born yesterday. <3


16 February 2011

extreme annoyance

Me: What happened to the sprayer on the hose?

Mom: What do you mean?

... ... ...

Really... is there anything that it could possibly mean except that there's no sprayer on the hose? What a dumbass question to ask. Especially after a day full of sweaty breaking machines bullshit frustration fighting tears while trying to fix shit and to top it off a tank of gas that took a trickle 30 minutes to fill up. FUCK.

I don't think I've ever said so many curse words at work. Frustration turned to anger. Then after I got so mad for so long, I couldn't be mad anymore and I just wanted to cry. Then shit just keeps piling up and WON'T STOP, only making it worse.

Can you tell I'm pissy today?

15 February 2011

goings on and stuff

Still so sluggish. Like how you feel right before you get sick. No sick!

And the GODDAMN air conditioning is still out in the lab, which was fine when it was freezing outside. Now that it's warm and humid again the lab is like fricken 80 degrees. Instant crabby. Especially when the temperature causes drifts on the dinosaur chemistry analyzer and you have to stop everything to calibrate. Today we had to re-calibrate CO2 and immediately after I ran QC and put patient samples back on, we had a potassium drift. A few curse words followed. I'm sure people walk by the lab and hear profanity all the time. I should probably watch that...

I dragged my sluggish crabby ass to see Ash at Chanel after work (not "the mall") and I had fun watching her eat dinner and picking out some pretty undies at VS. I heart my seeeester. She makes me feel better.

Finally figured out how many student loans I have and who I have to pay them back to. 5 different lenders. I need to consolidate but have no idea how. Anyone have an extra 30 grand so I can just get them all paid off at once?   : D

14 February 2011


I miss my [handsome, goofy, strong, clever, amazing] valentine. April 16th can't come fast enough.

Enough shmoop.

Green tea, workout, skinny winner dinner with my cat.

I'm really tired today. Just dragging.

13 February 2011


Been thinking a lot about love lately. And life, and the future, and all that. Been doing a lot to prepare for Ash's wedding and all the related festivities, so I guess that's where it's coming from.

This weekend involved a lot of crafting. And fighting headaches.


I made cake stands from a set of candlesticks and three matching plates, epoxied together. I got some more use out of my heavy textbooks...


They seem pretty sturdy. I just hope they hold until after the wedding. Then they can fall apart all they want.

Then tissue flower balls for the wedding shower that I think are so pretty hanging from the ceiling or trees. I used this tutorial. They turn out pretty but are time-consuming. I started making bigger ones and instead of gluing them to balls, I just bunched them together like a bouquet and wired them so they'd stay. That's what I did with the blue one.

Then I made the garter... so simple.

I used one of the zebra ties for the fabric. Gotta say that was genius.

I made mine 28 or so inches long. 

Just make a tube and turn it right-side-out. (didn't take pictures of that. Here's a tutorial.)

Then take your chosen ribbon and pin it to the back of the tube, where the seam is. Sew it as close to the edge of the tube as you can. You don't want a seam running down the middle.

Then repeat on the other side with the other ribbon.

When it's sewn, insert elastic with a safety pin through the tube, and bunch it up to your liking. Sew the elastic together and hand-sew the two ends of the fabric together.

Affix a bow and you're done.

This is the first time I've made one and I kinda winged it.
I think the white ribbon is too big and was going to re-do it, but Ash says she likes it. All I need to do is put a rhinestone in the middle of the bow.

Crafting is fun and all, but man it sure makes a mess. There's crap everywhere.

I can't believe the weekend is almost over. Boo.

12 February 2011


Oh my gosh.Yesterday was a bitch of a day. After yesterday's post I hopped in the shower, and just as I was getting out I got a missed call and a text from my boss saying "Help!"

So I tossed on some scrubs, grabbed a bag of popcorn and a carrot kuz I hadn't eaten dinner yet, and headed back in to work.

It was kinda crazy. Systems weren't exactly back up, but they figured out a way to get around the problem.

I ended up leaving at around 10, freaking exhausted. My whole body hurt and I was starving.

But that's one of the things I like about this job. The people. When there's a problem, my coworkers aren't afraid to stay late or go the extra mile. We all pitch in and work together to get it done. My boss especially. She gets right in there with us, while a lot of supervisors won't touch the bench no matter how hairy it gets. And I can't tell you how many times I've woken her up at 5 am saying, "This is broken! How do I fix it?" and she patiently and groggily helps me out.

I've said it many times before- no matter where you work, it's the people that can make you love it or make you hate it.

So yes, I bitch about my job when it gets stressful, but when I stop to count my blessings and the reasons why I really like this job, it's worth it.

Oh, and also, it's Saturday. Time to enjoy some waffles and coffee, and maybe crawl back into bed.

11 February 2011

friday fail

I am probably way too excited about this new vacuum filter.

Systems were down at work, so much of the day's work is still sitting there. Suckage. I may have to go in later to help once systems are back up.

Heck YES tax return check!


Also... cat video!

10 February 2011


I started this post last night and then Ash came in and we did wedding stuff and I forgot about it.


I love avocado.

It's cold as balls out there. If you think about it, balls aren't actually very cold. But they're actually cooler than the rest of the body. As a result Pumpkin has not wanted to go outside for the past few days and is having frequent cat attacks where she tears around the house at full speed meowing at the top of her lungs. GO OUTSIDE CAT. YOU HAVE A COAT OF FUR.

Anyway. I hope it doesn't freeze again tonight because I am NOT up for a repeat of The Most Intense Drive To Work Ever. <-- didn't have a repeat- there was no rain! Woo!

Also. Good news and bad news.
Good news: Chris is indeed coming home for two weeks before he deploys to Afghanistan.
Bad news: He flies in a week after Ashley's wedding. Boooo.
But I'm SUPER MAJORLY excited to get to see him. Figuring out what days to take off work so we can spend all day lounging around in my huge previously boy-less bed watching bad tv. And snuggles. Must get snuggles.

Yesterday we got a shipment of reagents packed with dry ice pellets. I dumped them into the sink, turned on the water, and a few of us had fun playing with the "smoke." It was seriously pouring out of the sink like crazy. It's so cool and never gets old.

I must go work out now.

Oh, and yes, Akhtar, you really do have fabulous hair.

05 February 2011


I have never had problems with dandruff or itchy scalp, until one summer a few years ago I got sunburned along my part. It's long since healed, but ever since then I've had random itchyness in that area of my head, and sometimes just random itchiness all over. (No, there are no parasites on my head. I've checked.)

I've tried washing my hair more, washing it less, using conditioner on my scalp, trying different shampoos/conditioners, changing my part for a while, and it's still just a little itchy.

But. After reading a tip from this lovely blog, I tried olive oil. About once a week or so I just pour a little warm olive oil on my hands and massage it into my scalp and my ends. Then I cover it with a shower cap and chill for 30 minutes. When I shower I wash and condition like normal, and the dryness/itchiness has improved. Also, my hair's really freaking soft. You know I have a thing for really soft hair.

Also, I rubbed it on a few dry spots of skin and man that stuff works!

04 February 2011

slippity slide

My morning started like this.

I woke up early and when I got out to my car to warm it up I noticed a thick layer of ice over the entire thing... that could not be scraped off with my walmart gift card.

I cranked up the defrosters on the windshield and the back window, but the side mirrors would not defrost, of course. So I poured some water from a random water bottle I found in my car, and frantically tried to scrape before it froze again.

After 15 minutes, I had removed enough ice to start driving my car. I kept the defroster and the windshield wipers going, and as I was driving little chunks would break off. Kinda satisfying.

I had texted my coworker who gets there at 2am to ask her how bad the roads were, and she said to stay under 30-40 mph and take the feeder.

So I did. There were a few slippery spots but I was doing pretty good. I even saw people getting on the freeway, but I figured I'd stay on the feeder for a minute. After about 5 minutes, I was cruising along at a pace of about 35mph when the light up ahead changed to red.

I braked, naturally, and realized I was on a huge patch of ice. I slid here and I slid there, I spun around... and at about this point I'm getting flash backs from my accident because it happened eerily in the same manner. I wasn't panicky or anything; I was thinking that my insurance would cover whatever happened and I was going too slow to hurt myself- as long as I didn't slide into the intersection and hit someone. Also, if it wasn't in my car and I wasn't in danger it totally would have been fun.

I must have ran into a curb or hopped the median (THANK GOD it wasn't a pole or a wall) because I ran into something and stopped. At this point I was facing backwards so I couldn't see what I had ran into. The impact wasn't huge, so I figured I could just drive away... but my car was not responding. Fuck fuck fuck. I turned it off, said a prayer, and it started back up again. Then I drove off onto a side street, got out, checked my car & tires, and everything was fine!

Then, for some crazy reason I can't explain, I got onto the freeway. Maybe I thought there would be less ice. The second I got on, I saw people ahead of me sliding around on the overpass. Son of a bittttch. So, I put on my hazard lights and drove over the bridge going 20 miles an hour, at some points almost stopping. It was odd to be going that slow on the freeway.

I exited, and took the rest of the drive to work no faster than 20 miles an hour. Even that felt fast, because I kept sliding for brief moments. What flabbergasted me was that there were people hauling ass on the freeway and on the feeder, sliding around. Idiots! No wonder there were 12-car pileups today.

The point of my story: no one should have been out on the road this morning and I'm damn lucky I didn't get hurt or hurt anyone else.

Oh yeah. Don't tell mom or dad. And especially don't tell Chris. There's no reason for them to know I technically got into an accident today.

03 February 2011


Another post featuring links on a website that I happen to find. This one was brought to us by Dayna posting this link on my facebook wall.

Then, I realized that I love this

Look at the wiener, hahaha

and I like this, probably WAY too much. I really want this. Like so bad.

and ohmygod this
it makes me think of Ashley. I'm sorry, but it does. I can just see her going, "Oh! Oh! It's so cute!" just like it was fat or something.

I could totally get my dad this as a gift and I'm pretty sure he'd eat them.

Then we come across the incredibly tacky...

and just sad...

makes me think of all the sick, sad old people that I see at work.

Also, I need a new alarm clock. I have worn out the snooze button. :o/