31 March 2013

there went march

I had a lovely Easter. It's becoming rarer that my family is all together. I miss my Frankish and Suzy.

I had terrible dreams about Chris last night. They're just dreams, but it still sucks waking up from that.

Maybe it's too many peeps, but I have horrible, horrible stomach pains. Like, stop me in my tracks pain. There's the too-familiar question, was it gluten or something else? As usual, I don't think it's gluten, but it could have slipped in there.

My sisters and I found Les Mis in our Easter baskets, so I'm currently watching while doing laundry. It's better than I remember.

Painted my nails for the first time in forever.

I've gotten into reading the Percy Jackson series. I read the first book on Kindle a while back, and then I discovered that my brother has the set. So I borrowed them and am on book 3. Very entertaining.

Crap, which reminds me that I never followed up on the book club I proposed. Things are settling down now, so maybe I can focus on that again. I think everyone read the book but me!

I can't believe tomorrow is April. I hope nobody tries any stupid April Fools jokes. I'm not in the mood to be tricked- especially at work. Things have the potential to be really shitty this week and I'm really, really hoping things go smoothly.
As usual, I hope this month goes by fast. Three months down. I'm ready for deployment to be over. I want my husband back.

30 March 2013

rugs, ikea, girls

Today I got new rugs and I love them. One's chevron.
I also got some cushions for the back porch chairs, and some lights to string up. I love having a festive back porch.

Suzy and I trekked spontaneously to Ikea to get a bookshelf that was near perfect dimensions to complete a little nook near the window seat. I'm mostly happy with the way it turned out. Still need to switch out the hideous curtains.

Things are feeling more like home. I really think it's all about the rugs.

Then we headed over to Ash's and caught up on Girls, and Aunt Suzy got to bond with Calvin. He took a serious nap on her lap:

And we cooed over him and watched him move his little gums in response to (most likely) a dream about eating. Cutest. Baby. Ever.

28 March 2013

kitty roaming

I'm SO proud of my little kitty!

This morning at about 6am she started roaming the house and meowing. So, I got up and opened the back door, just to see what she would do. She went right outside- no pushing or throwing or shoving necessary.

I went back to bed and at about 7am I heard her meowing, so I got up to let her back in. Except she wasn't at the back door. She must have figured out that the back yard and front yard are connected because there she was, sitting at the front door.

I'm so happy she was outside for a whole hour, and she wasn't even forced outside! Hopefully she pooped out there, and hopefully this is a regular thing and not a fluke.

27 March 2013


Paying some bills merh. I haven't gotten my water bill so I have to call them and see what's up. I paid my electricity bill through my bank's bill pay and it shows on my profile for the power company that I haven't paid... but when I call them they said I've paid and have a zero balance. I don't like the discontinuity!

My car insurance rate went up so I called and asked why- apparently there was a statewide rate increase. But the nice dude on the phone said that because I work in the medical field, I could get a discount. So it went up, but not by quite as much. I'm ok with that. Every little bit helps right?

I also haven't received the giddy-inducing "Paid in Full" notice from the company that should no longer own my former most annoying student loan. However, when I checked my account online I was met with a message that said they cannot find any loans in repayment. Yaysers!

I paid my rent, which was surprisingly easy.

Dude, pineapples are crazy on sale right now. I bought one, only because I knew I couldn't eat two. I should have bought two and given one to my sister. Drat. Hindsight.

I'm so full. For dinner I made polenta topped with shrimp in pesto. But, I think the pan might have been too hot because when I poured in the pesto, it ended up kinda grainy. Tasty, but the texture was not what I was expecting. Then I was still kinda hungry so I had some celery dipped in ranch (meal deal at HEB- I bought the dip and got a bag of veggies FREE) and some strawberry ice cream with chocolate sauce. Belly's so full.

The rest of this week should go by fast. All of my siblings will be in town by tomorrow night, yay!

26 March 2013


Go over to mom's house after work to drink with her & my aunts. Drive home slightly tipsy. Ok a little bit drunk OF COURSE the only time I ever drive the 6 minutes home after some drinks, there's a Sherriff cop car sitting a few houses down from mine with it's lights off but there's definitely a cop in there. Meh, they're probably watching a drug house on this street or something. I just hope it's not one of my neighbors and if they bust them tonight, I hope they're not loud. Peace out, I'm tired.

25 March 2013

situational thoughts

There are some moments where the amount of missing-ness rises very high and simply consumes me. After 3 years, I'm mostly used to the constant stream of missings. But occasionally a particularly strong one will hit and I'll be reminded that I did not choose this life. I chose him-- well before he chose this life. And I'm outwardly strong and joke about how he's just always gone, but like I've said before, I do it because I have no other choice. Give me a million dollars and I'll spend every penny to get him back to me.

In other news, something's up with Swedish House Mafia. Suze- what's the deal with that? I could easily google it, but I'd rather hear it from you.

Also my sister posted an adorable montage of silly Calvin moments on fb and I wish that I could have been there to see them in person. That little boy has no idea how much he is adored.

This weekend was spent mostly relaxing and cleaning house and planting things in the garden. It's not much more work to clean this house than it was to clean my garage apartment. If anything, it's a little easier. Even with the doors open, it gets much less dusty and grimy. I guess that's the difference baseboards make?

24 March 2013

the cat

I think it's funny that everyone keeps asking me how Pumpkin handled the move. As I probably mentioned at some point earlier, Pumpkin has been adjusting remarkably well. We all thought she'd freak out. She did a little bit when we started moving all the stuff out of mom's house. She lurked nearby and watched it all happen. Once we got her to the new house, she wandered around and checked stuff out. She didn't hide for days, pee or poop anywhere, or refuse food. She even ventured outside within a few days of the move, which made me pretty hopeful.

There have been a few issues, though. I've caught her on the kitchen counters, and I can tell she's been up on the kitchen windowsill. A few days of cayenne pepper sprinkled on the counters should fix that.

By FAR the biggest problem is that she isn't going outside a lot. She's used to being able to go in and out as she pleases, because someone at mom's is usually home during the day. Not so much anymore. She's stuck inside all day, which leaves her with pent-up energy that she unleashes in cat crazies at night. While I'm trying to sleep.

When I wake up in the morning or come home at night I try to coax her outside, but she's resisting. If I throw her outside, more often than not she meows at the door until I let her back in. I've tried leaving the doors open on nice days so that she can choose to go outside, and I've also tried staying out there with her, sitting on the back porch or doing yard work. I've tried giving her butter when she's outside. She's not digging any of it.

The pent-up energy I can handle. It's the litter box that I can't handle.

Ughhh the litter box smells sooo bad. I can smell it even in the living room even after I've scooped it out and disposed of it. I abhor litter boxes.Which is why that I've always been very happy that Pumpkin is an outside cat who prefers to use the outside as a litterbox. In the past I've rarely had to clean the litter box. I only kept one just in case she was locked inside and had to go.

Now, the guest bathroom has been taken over by the box, the smell, and the inevitable litter tracked out of the box and onto the floor. Yuck. I'd be happy if the only time she went outside was for 5 minutes to use the bathroom. I could deal with that and we could work up to chasing squirrels and birds.

Anybody have any suggestions?

23 March 2013

lawn guys

Well, I found out who mowed my lawn the other day. They knocked on my door today looking for money.

It was the lawn people that knocked on my door a few weeks ago and said they used to mow the lawn for the previous tenants. I called asking for an estimate and got the guy's wife, who told me she'd talk to her husband and call me back. She called back SEVEN times in the span of an hour while I was at work. At that point I was really annoyed so I decided I wasn't going to go with them. I tried to call back and tell them that, but I never got an answer or a voicemail.

So I guess they decided to just go ahead and mow it anyway, even though we never spoke after I called requesting an estimate, and they didn't leave a bill or anything. They just showed up today looking for 30 bucks.

They did a very nice job, so that's the only reason I'm paying them (once I get cash- we agreed I'd leave it under the mat on Monday). I figure there's no use making a big deal out of it.

I told him that he did a nice job and I'm sorry for the miscommunication but from now on my husband's going to mow the lawn. You know, so that 1. I don't piss them off and 2. They don't think I live alone. Honestly, if they'd handled things a little more professionally I'd hire them, but they did not leave a very good first impression. I'll probably ask my mom's lawn guys to do it.

Do you think I handled this correctly?


Technology is awesome. Except when it doesn't work the way I want it to. Then it's quite possibly one of the most infuriating things in the world.

Take, for instance, the problem at work that's been trying to get resolved for three weeks now. There were several people putting in hours of work to try and solve this unsolvable problem with a meter connection. Turns out, it was a simple, 2-minute fix on my end. I simply didn't even know it existed. I felt incredibly sheepish and horrible for being the root cause of the problem without even knowing it, and for [thank GOD] silently blaming it on the IT people. I suppose that's one of the problems that comes with having to reverse-engineer a job. I thought I'd been doing pretty well, and even though there was no way I could have known the solution without someone showing me, it was a major blow to the job performance self-esteem. 

Then there's things like web cams malfunctioning. All I wanna do is let my baby see & hear me!

21 March 2013

just stuff

I hate it when I really want to blog about something but I can't. I guess that's why they invented a thing called "texting your sister." Also, Hi Andrea!

Pumpkin seems more interested in the front yard than the back yard, which makes me nervous. Cars don't drive through the back yard. Still, this is the 2nd night in a row that she's voluntarily gone outside. I hope she's pooping out there. I'm so damn tired of cleaning that disgusting litter box.

I'm still waking up in the middle of the night to strange noises that I'm just not used to. I'd love to sleep through the night. I'm so damn tired.

Dinner tonight was wine, an open-faced sandwich, an almond joy, and strawberry ice cream with chocolate sauce. Not related, I feel like I'm coming down with something. Nooo.

The light on the front porch burned out, so after work today I dragged the ladder out, went up there, and changed the bulb. It was fairly difficult getting the light cover off and switching the bulbs, but I did it alll by myself! I told Chris that if he was here it would be his job, but since he wasn't here I had to man up and do it. GO me. Now I don't have to worry about anyone sneaking up on my porch.

19 March 2013

Oil cleansing

My skin is about 80% better than it was at the beginning of the year.

I was so tired of the cycle of cleanse, mask, toner, moisturize. The zits & resulting scars were so bad that for the first time in my life, I started wearing foundation. Simply covering up the marks with a dot of concealer wouldn't cut it anymore- there were too many.

So I'd cover my face with makeup, and after a few hours it would be sliding off in the oil slick on my face. It was disgusting.

I'd heard about this thing. I think the first place I saw it was Pinterest. I thought, "Oh yeah those hippies with their strange things on their faces that don't work," and dismissed it.

I'd heard of how your skin can over-compensate and produce even more oil after the products strip all of the moisture, but I figured it was a half-baked theory someone put out there to sell more moisturizer.

Then one day I looked it up, and I started to think that this might make sense. Basic chemistry- the concept that like dissolves like. In December after yet another breakout I figured, "What else have I got to lose?"

So I started cleaning my face with oil. Specifically, a 1:3 mixture of castor oil and olive oil. A cheap bottle of castor oil I found at Walmart, and whatever olive oil was in my kitchen. I washed my face with it night and day. I didn't worry about using the exact method described on the website- I just massaged it into my skin towards the end of my shower, and rinsed off. In the morning I would rub a little bit in, then rinse with warm water. During the weekends or evenings when I was just hanging out at home, I'd rub some of it onto any zits and just let it sit there.

At first, I had some breakouts. You know what it was? It was most of the under-the-skin cysts that have been sitting there for months finally coming to the surface. It was a little disappointing but also hopeful being able to feel that the bumps under my skin were slowly going away.

I had a few cluster breakouts, but they healed quicker and didn't leave scars.

That was 3 months ago. My skin is now relatively clear. I get a random zit every so often and still have some lingering texture issues around my chin & jaw. But, it's a huge difference that's lasted for several months now. I've been able to stop wearing foundation and just apply concealer to a random zit and some of the scars. My skin is still a little oily, but it's nothing like the massive oil slick that it used to be. It feels much more normal and the makeup I do wear doesn't slide off.

I don't use the oil as often now. I use either a light cleanser or the oil at night in the shower, depending on how grody my skin feels. Sometimes I just need to clean it with something sudsy.
I apply the oil every night after my shower before bed. In the morning, I just rinse my face with warm water and apply a light moisturizer with SPF. Once a week or so, I exfoliate with a mixture of sugar and oil- it leaves my skin feeling super smooth and soft. Also my hands!

So that's what I've been doing, and I have to say I've been converted. I'll happily join all the crazy earthy hippies who wash their face with oil.

P.S. I'm not the only one- my blogger friend randomly tried it and she just blogged about how it's been working well for her, too.

17 March 2013


I just can't get over how cute my nephew is. He's so tiny. Just look at him in that big ole crib all cute and little. 

He's changing so fast. He's looked a little different every time I've seen him; only a few days apart. He's looking less like an infant and more like a baby, if that makes any sense.

He looks just like his dad, with a little bit of his mom. I suppose that's best; he'd be way too pretty for a boy if he looked just like Ashley, haha.

I'm amazed at how cool their baby monitor is. It's got video and sound, and you can talk back to the kid like a walkie talkie if you want. We spent most of naptime yesterday staring at the monitor every time we heard a noise and he'd wiggle around a bit before going back to sleep.

It's also neat how I'm not afraid to hold him. With friends' infants, I'd be a little nervous to hold them. With Calvin, it's like, "I WANT TO SNUGGLE HIM" and it feels much more natural. There's been much good-natured fighting over who gets to hold the kid since he was born. My mom usually wins. After Ashley, of course.

I can't wait till he gets big enough to play with, but I also don't want him to grow up so fast, although I know he will because he is. Being his aunt is going to be SO MUCH FUN.

16 March 2013


I am still trying to process my night.

I had a lovely day. Woke up, skyped with my cutie husband, headed over to Ashley's. My great aunt has been visiting for a couple weeks, and she leaves tomorrow. She lives with my aunt in Phoenix, and she had flown in a few days ago to accompany my great aunt back home.

Turns out, my entire extended family was there, including uncles/ cousins I haven't seen in a while. I got to hold Calvin, hang out outside in the backyard on a beautiful day, and just had a really nice time.

I drove my aunt & great aunt home from the party back to Mom's house, and left after a bit to go run an errand and go home. When I hugged my great aunt goodbye, she held on for just a tad longer than I thought she would. When she held on for that extra second, it made me think of how this might be the last time that I see her. She's getting pretty old and it's feasible that she might die before another visit can happen. It made me not want to leave, but I left anyway. I ran my errand, then remembered that I left something at Mom's house, so I went back. I'm glad I did because I got to spend some extra time with her.

At any given point on any given night drinking with my aunts and uncles, the conversation turns to family members who have died. My cousin, my grandpa, etc. Rarely has it turned to my grandmother, who died of breast cancer when my dad was 4. That's always a little taboo. This great aunt is my grandmother's twin sister, and after she died, she basically raised my aunts & uncles. They all worship my great aunt, and for good reason. She's a pure, sweet, selfless lady.

I know it was tragic and it tore the family to pieces, but I never knew just how much none of them ever got over my grandmother's death. Talking about her still brought my aunt, uncle, and great aunt to tears. I've seen my aunt & uncle get emotional after a night of drinking, but I've never seen my sober great aunt cry and it was heart-wrenching.

What an amazing person she must have been, to have that effect on people 40+ years after her death. As my aunt put it, after she died it "took the shine out of life." They talked about how when my grandpa died, he said he was ready to die so that he could see Agnes again. (Yes, her name was Agnes.) Then, they all agreed that they were not afraid of death, because their mother (& twin sister) was waiting for them in heaven. I just sat there and listened to their memories and grief and tried to take it all in.

I don't want her to leave. I want to talk to her and hear her stories. I feel like I've taken her for granted all these years and I never really got to know her. I feel almost guilty about it. I feel like I've got a lot to learn from her, but her stories will go unheard simply because life goes on around her. Like she's a wasted soul because we don't pay attention to her. Still, she's an angel, like her sister is, and we're the ones who are missing out.

I do hope I get to see her again.


I feel like this day was 300 years long.

-Woke up late, ate cereal while trying to get the internet to function properly.
-Talked to hubby & smoothed a few bumps over while driving to work.
-Got to work, ran ran ran ran ran ran. From one end of campus to the other. It's a BIG campus. Up stairs, down stairs, shove a muffin in my face, back up to the 19th floor, etc.
-Afternoon of blood gases and training, training, training. Emails that went unanswered. Not much got done this week because a lot of people took off for spring break. I'll be that email of doom that waits in their inbox until Monday morning. I'm going to nag everyone's ass until the problem gets fixed, too.
-The whole reason I stayed late was to train a lady on the night shift, who stood me up. Psh, she's either seeing me during my working hours, or she's waiting until next month when I pick only 1 day to stay late for night shift training again.
-Blew off my errand after work to stop in at Good To Go before they closed. I'm so glad I did. Amazing 100% gluten free restaurant in Houston!
-Dinner & wine & girl talk & puppy/ kitty time at Missy's. As always, I got excellent advice from her.
-Vicky's recently discovered Reno 911 so we watched a few episodes of that before I headed home.
-Hot bath to soothe my aching muscles from all of the walking today.
-Internet is still a problem. I tried switching the modem from the living room to the bedroom so we'll see if that helps. We just need a connection in the office... yet another reason why I can't wait until Chris comes home.

14 March 2013


I never once questioned if I was going to make it. Until today. I feel so detached from what I was once so sure.

I don't even know where to begin. All alone in this empty house. It's so cute though. I really do like it. It's just still empty and doesn't really feel like home yet. Mom's house is not home, and this is not home. I come home to... a house. The only thing that makes it more like home is my cat. It's slowly becoming more comfortable, though. I think the addition of internet and cable has helped re-establish a sense of normalcy. It helps to have some noise around. I'm not used to so much quiet.

In the past week and a half, I've accidentally locked myself out of the house and met my neighbors, dug a few flowerbeds in the back yard, ran the dishwasher (!), taken baths, turned on both the heater & ac, and tried to get pumpkin to start pooping outside again.

In other news, I officially have a nephew. A ridiculously adorable, sweet little infant nephew. A week ago, Ashley called me saying her water broke at work. A few weeks before her due date and it caught everyone off guard. I could not WAIT to get off work to drive to the hospital. We got there and waited in the waiting room until we heard a lullaby overhead signalling that a baby was born, and we knew it was ours. The excitement was unrivaled. A little while later, Collin came out happier than I've ever seen him, and we got to see both Ashley and Calvin. He's so tiny and perfect and things will never, ever be the same. :o)

The internet is in & out so I'm going to hit publish before it goes out again.

09 March 2013

quick post

I really miss the internet. Not because of email or facebook or anything like that.

I really miss blogging.
And I've had so much rad shit to blog about, too! It's been perhaps the most eventful and incredible week of  my life, and I was unable to blog about it. It's like, my outlet and I don't have it because Comcast SUCKS COCKS. I also don't have tv and although I don't watch it much, I would love to be able to turn on the news when I come home, mostly just for the noise. That house is damn quiet.

So I'm at mom's with my laptop so I can pay some bills and also sneak in a quick blog post.

P.S. I also miss Suzy's tumblr, which I am currently perusing. And it's different! Way to throw me off, Goo!

Full updates to come when Comcast takes the dick out of its mouth to grant me internet and cable access.