10 June 2017

Stitch Fix

I signed up for Stitch Fix because I need help dressing like an adult.

The first few fixes were disappointing, because I initially entered some sizes in my style profile that I thought were right but turns out were inaccurate. There was one whole box that made me look like a bag lady and I returned everything. It was sad but the return process was super easy, even for me who hates anything that is remotely a pain in the ass.

I adjusted the sizes in my profile and since then I love everything. I've really wanted to post about it but who's got time for that? I have a little time this weekend to upload pics and such. Here's what came in the latest one.

It came with:
1 bag (The first few fixes came with shoes but then I requested bags)
2 blouses
1 blazer
1 pair of pants

I asked for a tote that had room for my laptop. I got one in the last fix and I love it. It travels super well and I wanted more. But they've only got one tote in their inventory right now and that's the one they already sent to me! Fortunately my laptop fits in this punchy orange bag they sent instead. Keep!


I didn't specify anything for tops, but my profile says I'm looking for classic, lightweight, dressy pieces for work- bonus if they don't take up much room in a suitcase. These were great. I especially love the blazer because it's one of the few that FITS!


Pants are the hardest thing for me. Most are either too big or they fit in the waist but are baggy in the booty.

I got a pair of pants in the last fix that I was initially super skeptical about. They are pull-on with a faux fly and seemed more like leggings than slacks, but they look surprisingly nice when worn. I loved them so much that I asked for a similar style. These navy blue patterned pants are the same deal and I love them. I noticed the pocket has a discrete zipper closure. So cute!


(See? They make me look like I have a booty)


So that's the latest fix. I'm keeping all the pieces and I can't wait to wear them.

If I get a minute I'll try to post some of the other pieces I've kept. There's some really solid stuff that I get compliments on a lot.

05 June 2017

psych

Last night's vivid dream involved tornadoes. I was in a hotel room with my mom and sisters and a tornado hit, so we hid under the bed and shielded ourselves with a mattress while the twister raged around us. Then, the hotel gave us free breakfast coupons.

In the fridge: cantaloupe, watermelon, cherries, apples, peaches, blueberries, and grapes. I'm basically a fruit hound. But no lemons; the stores have been out. Curses!

I lost my favorite sunglasses. Merp. But in the search for them, I got to make an extended pit stop at Ashley's and play with the boys.

Notable moments: Calvin was making silly faces and when I asked why he was doing that, he replied, "Because Andrew likes it." Sure enough, he made a silly face at Andrew and Andrew started cracking up, hands shoved in his mouth. Soaking up these moments.

Got a ton of weird shit swirling around in my head. Some's been brewing for a while. Actually, most of it. However the time for action may be upon us shortly. Should be brutally fun. Maybe then I'll stop dreaming about monsters and tornadoes.

04 June 2017

coffee talk

Currently eating fruit for breakfast and pushing coffee & water. I think I ate like 6 cupcakes yesterday. I enjoyed every single one of them but now I've got a food hangover. Nothing like a good, classic party that ends with a few choice folks and sing-alongs on the back porch.

Comcast pissed me off again. No surprise there. They took the opportunity to charge us $50 more a month for the same service after our contract ended. When we called to renew our contract, the only thing we were offered was a bundle that included home phone service, plus a bunch of other stuff we don't want, and our bill would be even higher. Missing the point here, Comcast. You dicks.

So I think I'm ready to ditch the cable service. I don't watch tv that much, so Chris did some research and got a Sling subscription. Our tv didn't allow us to download the appropriate app, so then he ordered a Roku. I haven't played around with it much, but it doesn't seem like it's that much different than cable.

I intended to set up my office either in the actual office or turn my craft room into an office. What actually happened was I kinda set up camp at the kitchen table. I don't like the atmosphere in the other rooms; too closed off, not enough natural light. It works for now, but it's definitely not sustainable.

I do love being able to look outside while I'm sitting at the computer. However I get a great view of the giant, unkept crappy flowerbed. I'm seriously considering removing it and letting the grass take over. So much easier to maintain and at this point, it would look better and hold up best to dog trampling. Then maybe I can create a smaller, easier-to-maintain flowerbed. It's too hot to do any sort of yardwork now, so honestly to avoid heat stroke it'll probably wait until next spring. But the idea is there.

03 June 2017

dreams and cupcakes

Been having some very vivid dreams the past few nights. So vivid that I wake up, and I remember them after.

One was creepy, supernatural, and monstrous. There was something in the house that I could sense but not locate. I woke myself up screaming in my dream. I couldn't shake that weird feeling for hours.

Last night I dreamed I was at a Christian music festival. Apparently not with anyone. It was awkward because everyone was singing along and I wasn't familiar with any of the songs. Then I started chatting with this random group of people, and one of the men introduced himself. I recognized the last name, and it turns out I know his brother (in real life; we were acquaintances in college but we haven't spoken in years). I woke up and wasn't able to get back to sleep, so I looked him up and re-friended him on Facebook. I figured if this random guy's name popped up in my dream, it might be a good idea to see what he's up to. The universe is doing some networking for me, haha.

Other than that, I'm making cupcakes for Frank's engagement party this afternoon and debating on whether or not I should wear a dress. The weather is hot, humid, and rainy so on one hand a dress seems nice, but when there's a lot of moving around to do it can get a little annoying. Re: sweaty thighs. Real life problems here.

27 May 2017

learning from bad decisions

I am feeling disgusted with myself.

I tried that Whole30 thing and while I didn't obsess over the rules, I made some healthy changes. I didn't expect cutting dairy and carbs to make a big difference, but I felt good. Really good.
Less bloating, more energy, more motivation to exercise. I found that I didn't actually want the things I was cutting out because I felt so good without them. Can you believe I didn't actually miss cheese?? (I did miss chips, though, but I know that's purely psychological.)

I was doing really well. Then, I started traveling. It's challenging enough to find gluten free food on the road, so I didn't stress over finding something Whole 30, but I gave it my best shot.

Week 1 I was in Louisiana and it went well. It really helped that the hotel had a decent breakfast, and I ate lots of salads. But when you find a gluten free pizza place after a week of salads, you;re hungry on a primal level so you get a pizza and it's good for your body and soul.

Then week 2 I was in North Carolina. Still not bad. I'm so glad I traveled with workout clothes. After a day of sitting in a dim room on a computer, I was CRAVING movement. I exercised a bit, taking advantage of the gorgeous weather and nature-ful public spaces. Lots of salads again. Took a chance on some bbq and it turned out to be delicious and I had no tummy troubles.

The trouble started in week 3. I went to San Antonio for some training. The odds were on my side; the hotel room had a kitchen, so I could make sure the things I ate were safe.

But... I was in San Antonio. Who wants to cook in their hotel room when the Riverwalk is right there and the weather is gorgeous? Plus the group turned out to be super fun. I didn't want to be the only person to say no to happy hour. Life's short. Enjoy margaritas alfresco, baby.

I was proud that I limited my drinks, and I even got a decent amount of activity walking the riverwalk and the Alamo. The problem was with dinner. In general, if I'm with a group and they want to eat at a certain place, I don't insist that we eat at a different place, even if there's not much I can safely enjoy. Most people don't understand how important it is and I don't want to come across as rude and demanding.

So there were several times when I took a risk and ordered something -probably- gluten free. Mexican restaurants are particularly hard because there are so many things that are -probably- gluten free, but have a high potential for contamination. Needless to say, I got myself into trouble. Not big trouble, but just enough that I was feeling kinda crummy and I knew I had eaten something slightly gluteny.

In addition, the course instructor make sure there were plenty of GF snacks that I could enjoy throughout the week- but although they were gluten free, they were mostly junk food (chips, popcorn, cookies). I wasn't feeling very snacky, due to the above mentioned reasons, but I was thankful that she thought of me and I didn't want to offend her by not eating any. So I ate them, and I (duh) felt worse.

Yes, that's right. I ate things that I didn't want to eat, and I ate more than I wanted to, on top of a crummy stomach that I only got because I ate things that I shouldn't have. I made all these decisions because I don't want to seem rude. And then I suffered. What?

And it gets worse. Since I was one of the local folks and didn't have to get on an airplane, I was sent home with a bunch of the uneaten food so it wouldn't go to waste. A giant bag of chips and popcorn and sugary granola bars.

Now, I don't buy these things anymore, on purpose. Because if they're in the house I will stuff my face with them. Which is exactly what I did as soon as I got home. I ignored the ALREADY MADE salad and fresh fruit in the fridge and I strapped on the feed bag of chips and popcorn and chocolate and red wine. I did this ON TOP OF the gluteny crummies. And of course now I feel terrible.

As a result of all this, I've identified a horrible spiraling pattern of behaviors and their triggers. If I had made better choices this past week, I'd feel completely different today.

You know what? Maybe some food is better to be "wasted.". Junk food is junk food and it should be in the trash right now.

30 April 2017

sunday morning musings

Up early on a Sunday that I fully intended to spend sleeping as late as possible. However, upper respiratory issues are on the attack again. I've been fighting these swollen sinuses/ adenoids no doubt triggered by whatever allergens are floating through the air this time of year. I am thankful that at least now, some preventative care means it's not as bad as it has been in the past.

Today I hand my car keys over to my sister so she can take it for an extended test drive.
Her car, "Charlie," is literally falling apart and I happen to have a car sitting in my garage that I'm not driving. Because I've been driving the company car, selling my car will soon become a practical option.
Whether or not Suzy actually buys it, it's bittersweet for both of us. We become way too attached to our vehicles around here. I fully appreciate this car-incidence and tip my hat to the universe, for I bought that cute red car exactly 6 years ago to the day.

Supposed to be attempting the Whole30 food phenomenon starting tomorrow, but I'm not digging any of the "approved" breakfast options. Y'all know I love my breakfast and after trying chia pudding, I'm not convinced it's actual food. On the other hand, I doubt my cholesterol levels would thank me after 30 days of ham and eggs. Either way, I predict a loose interpretation of the rules... at least for breakfast. Until we meet again, peanut butter toast.

Been trying to focus on positive affirmations. Always been a firm believer in the 'mind over matter' mantra, and starting the day with a positive thought can't be bad. I dig the potential of the good thoughts rattling around in my head pushing the doubts away. Coming up with my own positive thoughts is a struggle some days... good thing Pinterest is full of them! Let's go with this one today:

20 April 2017

check-in

I promise I'm still around. I've had tons of neat things happen, but not much time to record them in blog form. (Instagram is SO much faster...)

I fully expected to have so much time to do all the things, but alas, not the case.

New job is still dreamy and awesome, even with a few 10-hour days sprinkled in. They say it takes about a year to get comfortable in this role, and I see why. Also I plan to take full advantage of that assumption and soak up as much information as I can before I'm saddled with responsibility.

Altogether, things are shaping up to be about how they should. Like they usually do.

09 April 2017

growth

Enjoying this Sunday afternoon in the backyard, sipping a spritzer.

We don't get many nice days between the humid winter and the suffocating summer, so I'm going to soak up every bit of this tolerable sunshine.

I started tinkering around in the garden, but it's been minimal. Mostly cleaning up all the dead stuff.

Although over the past couple of years I've adapted my planting goals around my own shortcomings and the dog's destructive tendencies, this year I simply won't have the time. I've managed to kill some plants already and got another scolding from my yard guy.

As I cleaned out some sad old pots full of dried up things that used to be pretty, I had a couple of surprises. The small cutting of yesterday, today, and tomorrow from my neighbor came back from assumed destruction. I found some turmeric that my coworker gave me and I long ago dismissed as dead. When I dumped out the pots, they were full of the roots so I replanted them. Two of last year's rosebushes survived the freeze this winter, and the aloe vera is already sprouting babies. Thankfully the rosemary and gardenia bushes were pretty well established and they only had superficial damage. The mums didn't bloom this year but managed to stay alive. That's the kind of plants I need; sturdy survivors.

This year I'll plant a few herbs on the kitchen windowsill in tin cans. Basil, green onion, and oregano are the current contenders. I gave up growing them from seeds and grabbed some already established plants. Hopefully if they're in plain sight, they won't be neglected.

On another note, I'll be traveling a lot to different places I've never been. I thought about starting to collect something from the cities I visit. But I don't want to do something typical like key chains or spoons or post cards. A colleague has a gallery wall full of pencil drawings she's collected on her travels, which I think is spectacular and unique. I'd like to do something like that. Suggestions?

02 April 2017

bad adult

Things have been so crazy lately that I forgot it was the beginning of the month and completely spaced on paying bills. I woke up at 5am to pee and something must have triggered in my brain the fact that I didn't pay the mortgage. The MORTGAGE. Ugh! I logged in on my phone and transferred the money while laying in bed.

I usually pay bills a week ahead because I'm extra anal about paying bills on time. But last week was madness and I spent several 12-hour days at a new install. This must be the first time I've ever paid a bill late. Two bills, actually.

The mortgage I think has a grace period before any late fees are charged, but I'm pretty sure Comcast will be its usual dicky self and charge a late fee. For paying like 5 hours late. Which I will fight. I'm hoping my on-time-paying customer status over the last few years will be enough to waive it.

Hopefully because the 1st fell on a weekend things will roll over to the next business day and I'll be ok. How do these things usually work?? I do not need one more thing on my plate. Merrrp, man.

24 March 2017

bits and pieces

My mind still has not grasped the massive difference between last week and this week. I'm kinda going through the motions, soaking up the experience and absorbing every learning moment I can. So far, I'm loving all the things. I'm feeling this for the long haul. It's all so good. Pinch me.

Work wardrobe is still abysmal. I must go shopping. Forcing myself to go and try on pants after pants and drop some cash on clothing.

I have developed a massive zit on the bridge of my nose, right where my glasses sit. Oy.

Speaking of glasses, this tiny little family of two has spent ridiculous amounts of money on vision correction lately (about a grand). We've both gotten contacts (daily disposables FTW) and I got a new pair of glasses that I don't love so I'm about to order these or these, and toot got two new pairs, which he desperately needed.

Speaking of toot, while I normally look forward to having the house to myself, this time to my surprise I find I'm missing the companionship that comes in toot form. I haven't felt this way in a long time. It's nice.
We've been getting along really great lately; almost as if something has turned a corner. Things feel different. Of course they do.

20 March 2017

life, revisited.

I've sat down to write this post several different times, but I would get up and walk away after only a few words; I couldn't find the right ones.

Somehow, describing the facts of this new chapter in my life don't capture the "pinch me I'm dreaming" effect. I can't spell out how huge this is. The sky's the limit?  No, no. This opportunity can catapult me over the moon and back twice around venus.

I could list the tangible items.
I could describe the daily changes.
I could talk about the difference in personal presence.
I could elaborate on the networking opportunities and perks- like hotel, rental car, and airline rewards.
I could say how much more I'll be learning, how much more I'll be earning, how I get MY VERY OWN SET OF PIPETTES.

-pause for effect, applause, and prosperity-

I'm suddenly in a league of incredibly intelligent people who are just as ambitious as I am, who are willing to teach me everything they know and help me succeed. I'm part of a collective of people who can make amazing things happen. I'm poised on a realm of possibility that I always thought I'd be lucky to achieve.

Here I am. This is actually it. The girl from the trailer park gets a company car and an American Express, bitches!

Jokes aside, I've worked hard for this and I deserve to be here. I'm going to use this opportunity full of new challenges to grow into something even better; to make my loftiest career goals happen. To make the world a little bit better from a different perspective. I'm a strong woman and I'm ready to keep roaring.

But all the same, I've got stars in my eyes.
I'm so thankful for them.

19 March 2017

ace in the hole

Ah-ha! She got an egg in the nest. I'm so proud.


one small change

A few months ago I made one small change that has affected my life in a big way: I started taking a benadryl at bedtime.

After years of denying it, I finally admitted to myself that I have allergies.

I develop a sinus infection every November, and last time when I went to the Walgreens clinic the nurse practitioner mentioned that it's probably due to seasonal allergies and I should start taking an antihistamine to prevent it. Oh yeah. That makes sense, huh?

A few weeks after that I developed some more sinus issues and I took a benadryl at bedtime to help with the symptoms. It helped tremendously, so I continued to take about a half a dose each night at bedtime.

What I didn't expect was how much it would improve my quality of life.
First I started sleeping better, thanks to benadryl's sleepy side effect.
Then I noticed a few weeks ago that I have had way more energy. I'm not as cranky and I generally feel better.

I think it's because I haven't woken up with one of those massive, debilitating headaches since I started taking it. I might have a slight headache every once in a while, but I'm still functional.
I don't have that constant sinus pressure that fogs everything up and causes me to schlup through the day.

I never noticed how much those issues affected me, until I didn't have them anymore. I feel a LOT different, and a LOT better.

Yay, man.

18 March 2017

bird update

I've been waking up every morning to chirpy commotion at the front door.


Upon closer inspection, it seems that my little friend missed the mark a bit. The egg didn't exactly make it into the nest. Rather, it's balanced off to the side.


The nest hasn't been abandoned, so I'm assuming it's still okay? I guess I'll find out.

16 March 2017

hey, birdie

Some bird decided to build a nest on the wreath hanging on my front door.

What first caught my attention was a bird singing one Saturday morning. When I discovered the bird's motive, I tried to discourage it and cleared away the beginnings of a nest. But the bird persevered and I decided that if the bird wanted to build a nest on my front door, he/she could go right ahead.

Turns out, now I get a clear view of the nest and hopefully the babies. Despite the fact that it's on my front door and we use it sometimes, which might make for some disruptive moments, maybe I can make up for last year's fiasco.



Stay tuned.

26 February 2017

freshening up

Updates in a few areas.

Exercise:
I felt ambitious on Friday and committed to a boot camp Saturday morning with my coworker at our work gym. It was my kind of workout; 30 seconds at a different station. Lots of variety, fast-paced. Many of the moves were squat-heavy. I hated it while I was doing it, but of course afterwards I felt great. Today, I'm feeling every single one of those squats.
When I have a cute perky ass I'll be thankful but right now it sucks.
But the soreness is also kinda motivating? I dunno. I'm weird.

Professional:
The face-to-face interview was smashing, I think. The job was clarified a bit more, and at first it was intimidating but now that I've had time to mull it over, it's perfect. It would be a good challenge, I would grow personally and professionally, and once I found my groove I would kick ass. It would change my life and I want it. For now, we wait.

Tangible De-Clutter:
It seems like spring (even after a shitty, warm winter) re-affirms all the "clear it out, freshen up" vibes. Sometimes cleaning stuff up only leads to more messes. Clutter that was once semi-hidden is now in random piles until it finds a new home. Insert eye twitch.

Brain De-Clutter:
There's a to-do list rattling around in my head and sometimes I see it with great clarity but I've forgotten to write it down and now it's all jumbled. Most of it has to do with home maintenance and I forget about it until I notice it again. I don't have the time or energy to handle it all, so I'm hoping to outsource some of it.

Schedule pest control. Ants, roaches, and flies. Flies? Really. They're everywhere.
Clear out flower beds (ask yard guy to clear out flower beds)
New front door (pick it out, buy it, get handy man to install)
Deep clean (Stuff like floors, windows... hire a maid?)
Touch up baseboards. Roomba is a daily lifesaver but is rough on baseboards.
Put away Christmas decorations. Yes I know it's almost March. Don't judge. They're all in boxes in the office and I wasn't able to help Chris put them in the attic after surgery. Now they're just sitting there. Being all cluttery.

Pending:
Re-organize closet? Waiting to see if my wardrobe needs change- aka if I get the job.

All right, enough spazzing out. Time to switch the laundry and take a hot bath.

08 February 2017

jumbled but not really

Trying not to focus on how much I blew it last week during the digital interview. Let me clarify: this was NOT a skype interview. This "interview" consisted of questions on a screen and videotaped answers.

Which, apparently for me, equals temporary retardation and jibberish answers while trying to stare at the webcam instead of myself or anything else. It didn't go well. Even after I asked my reporter sister-in-law for tips. I'm the chick that got booted from the hospital's commercial because while I'm sweet and awesome in person, on video I turn into an awkward creep.

I'm torn with this whole idea because I really am happy at my current workplace. I would not be concerned with changing jobs if it weren't for this opportunity. I love my coworkers, their curious personalities and lighthearted ways, and the sense of community we have. Yes, I'm bored and unchallenged, but at the same time my heart really is calm and connected to this place. It would truly hurt to leave. Plus I LOVE the insanely short commute.

Then there's also the idea that I might move with Chris when he goes to grad school. I'm not sure our marriage can handle another long-term long-distance trek, but if I get this new job I'm definitely staying in Houston. Everything is so gloriously up in the air.

At the end of every day, I'm not really stressed at all about it. I'm convinced it all will work out the way it should.

23 January 2017

dress up

I had a really fun experience today.

I walked into White House Black Market and told the salesman that I needed to look like a professional grown-up and didn't know where to start.

I swear I saw a twinkle in his eye as he tossed me into a dressing room and started throwing clothes at me. I loved every single thing I tried on, but in the end I left with one fabulous outfit (plus a gorgeous pair of shoes that I can actually walk in and my sister petted for a bit).
I may have a new favorite store.

Even better? When I got home I realized that I have a blazer in my closet that looks exactly like the one I just bought, so I get to return it and get this other jacket that I really loved. (It looks lame on the computer screen but it's super cute on)

I've talked about this before, but it's really hard to look nice wearing cheap, old clothing. Especially as I get older and (hopefully) work my way up the career ladder.

So today I stepped it up. Like a girl boss should.

17 January 2017

Tennis?

I've heard this tip many times: Put a tennis ball in the dryer to help fluff things.

Dude, but have you ever tried it?


Chris used a couple to help dry his sleeping bag, and they were around so I tossed one in with some towels.

It's amazing! Fluff city!
It's literally my new favorite thing.

My sheets and comforter used to roll up like burritos in the dryer and not get dry. The addition of a tennis ball or two prevents that from happening. Like magic!

I fluff my pillows each week and if I add a tennis ball, holey moley they're twice as fluffed. I'm so happy about this little life hack!

Try it.

16 January 2017

Recovery entertainment

I woke up feeling good so of course I did some laundry, tidied the house up a bit, and now... ouch. It's really hard to not use abdominal muscles. Mom scolded me when she found out I did things.

I am not good at resting.

Especially not for the 4th day in a row. Even on painkillers. I can't drink, I'm not supposed to drive, and I'm bored. It's also been weird asking for favors or having Chris do things for me. I'm independent, darn it! But I know I need to take it easy in order to heal, and I definitely want to get back to work next week.

SO I decided to park it in bed, pull up the laptop, and compile a list of things I can do to keep myself sane while not moving. Plus when my sister comes over I'll ask her to unload the dishwasher and get the mail (♥).

THINGS TO DO THAT DON'T REQUIRE MOVEMENT

-Read a book. I've got a $50 Amazon gift card and a whole wish list of kindle books.
-Clean up Pinterest boards. THAT will kill some time.
-Color. Seriously. Mom got me one of those adult coloring books and my skeptical self was not having a bad time coloring last night.
-Bullet journal. Oh, which reminds me I need to make a follow up appointment.
-Netflix. Watch all those shows I've heard about but haven't had the time to get sucked into a Netflix series. Now, I have all the time. (P.S. Stranger Things did not suck me in. A little suspense is fine, but I like having answers!)
-Cross stitch/embroider. I have all the supplies, I just need to download a quick pattern from Etsy.
-Magazines. I'd have to ask someone to bring them to me, but I love me some magazines.
-Catch an Uber to Target and shop around with a motorized cart. This is my favorite and I'm saving it for when I'm super bored.
-Organize/clean out drawers. This might be ok if I sit in a chair. I have SO much time and it would be great to declutter.
-Play with the lazy cat.
-Puzzles! My sister is bringing me one.
-Nap. The best thing ever.

I'm all out of things. Suggestions?

14 January 2017

don't move

Ok so recovering from surgery kinda hurts.

I woke up post-op and the first words out of my mouth were "pain" followed by "nausea." Both were addressed immediately and I was feeling much better within a few minutes. The rest of the day was spent in bed with little of that pain and nausea sprinkled in. Nothing major; I felt ok as long as I laid still and did nothing.

Woke up the next day feeling great. Of course that means I overdid it, moved around too much, and today I'm hurting.

There are 3 incisions, 2 above my hip bones, and one in my belly button, each about an inch long. No stitches, just glue. The two side wounds don't hurt at all; it's the belly button one that's really sore.

Laughing, coughing, sneezing... pretty much all movement causes pain. So again, I feel ok as long as I lay still and do nothing.

So I'll raise my glass of water and pop another painkiller to that idea. Cheers!

11 January 2017

fixed

Today when I walked through our pathologist's office, I took a peek at tomorrow's surgery schedule.

Sure enough, I'm on it.

After struggling with birth control and its various side effects for my entire adult life, I've finally decided to do it. The official phrase used on my FMLA paperwork was "desires sterilization." You bet I do.

I've never had the deep desire to become a parent. Realistically, I assumed I would marry someone who wanted kids and I'd go along with it. I figured my clock would eventually start ticking and one day I might want a kid, but I was never excited about it.

Then I got older, married someone who also does not want children, and no child-bearing urges have hit. At 32, I know that I do not want children. It's not a realistic idea for me.

My former gynecologist did not like the idea, due to my age and lack of children.
But my current gynecologist is more understanding.

The thought brings me relief.
My aunt's contraceptive-induced stroke a few years ago really freaked me out. Because basically I was headed down the same path.
Then I started worrying about the long-term effects of pumping all of these hormones into my body. Which combined with the anxiety brought on every month by the small chance that I could have conceived.

I might struggle with the transition of stopping birth control, and the recovery period might suck, but I welcome it.

10 January 2017

shifting focus

Focus. I've shifted it a bit.

It's still pointed pointed towards health, self care, and simplification, but I've got to meet mini goals in order to actually make anything happen.

Rather than expect to make a bunch of changes all at once (like lowering my carb intake and an exercise commitment), I figured I could focus on a few of these mini goals at a time.

[And in the meantime I'm going to attempt to live more in the now instead of the future where all of my goals are met.]

Mini goal #1: Cut back to 1 daily glass of wine, with dinner. 
So far, achieved. Easily. Surprisingly.
There's really no good reason to have several drinks every night, and the empty calories are crazy. Plus it's easier to wake up in the morning.

Mini goal #2: Meatless Monday.

I've done this in the past, mostly because we were poor and meat is expensive. No worries here; I do enjoy a nice bean-ful meal.Variety will be the biggest challenge.

Mini goal #3: De-clutter.
This is ongoing. The strategy is to designate a box and toss things in as I notice they're no longer needed, or when I clean something out. The box sits there for a while, long enough that we can take something out if we realize we need it. So far, nothing that's been in a box has come back out.

Side note- Exercise:
I still haven't figured out how to motivate myself to work out. It's definitely a mental thing because I've never regretted a workout, but I'm so damn lazy. And tired. But mostly lazy. Most days I hit the recommended number of steps, according to the fit bit, so that counts for something, right?


Anyway three things seems like a good enough number for the moment.


07 January 2017

Planned lazy

I did not expect to put on pants today.
Our world was icy and cold, and my heated mattress pad was on high all day. Plus it's the first weekend I've had off since before Christmas and I am tired of going going going.

I drank tea and did laundry and made cookies, savoring the fact that I was able to make the whole batch at once, instead of multiple little batches in a toaster oven. Still smitten with that oven.


For the record, I did put on pants. And I drove places. And I got an unexpected take- home container of chili out of it. (Mah always has something tasty, whether you're hungry or not)

Got home, put on a different pair of jammies, washes the ones I wore all day so they'll be clean for tomorrow.

Because being lazy sometimes requires planning.


01 January 2017

Hi, 2017

Oh, HEY 2017. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome.

I'm ready to make 2017 my happy year.
My goals focus mostly on health and self-care and simplification.

*sips green tea*