31 December 2007

cooking and lifestyle changes

After getting that cookbook and set of pots and pans, I've been on a cooking/ freezing frenzy. I don't want to be stuck without good gluten free food once school starts and I'm too busy to cook. I'm tired of eating plain rice and snacking on microwave popcorn and fritos in a pinch. Besides that, it's unhealthy.

I made a big pot of chili and it rocks. Actually, as far as chilis go it's mediocre, but it rocks because I made it and I can feel good about eating it. Except after distilling the cloves in ochem lab, I can pick out the taste/ smell of cloves from pretty much everything now, so maybe next time a little less clove powder to season.

I am constantly amazed at what wonderful friends I have. Everyone has been incredibly supportive of me while I try to integrate this whole change into my life. They read labels, look up recipes, let me know which stores they've seen that have gluten free sections and/ or foods, they've bought me gluten free treats and ask which restaurants are okay when meeting up as a group. They have stopped me if I grab something without thinking, just in case I've forgotten or it's a questionable item. They make sure to ask if they can buy anything specific when they're hosting a party, and actually apologize if they forget and suggest we buy a pizza for dinner, even though of course I'm holding no offense. I don't really crave things like that anymore because I am feeling so much better lately.

I'm especially amazed and touched at the effort C as put into this. I mean, it IS an inconvenience when it's not his issue yet he has to participate when it comes to the meals we share. He doesn't complain when we have to go to two stores when we make dinner- Whole Foods for the gluten free items and Kroger or something for the normal items. He willingly ate a gluten free version of his grandmother's chicken spaghetti recipe and even said it was good, even though I know with my beginner cooking skills and substituted ingredients it did not compare to what his grandma used to whip up.
The other night we were in a bar and someone asked why I wasn't drinking the delicious-looking pitcher of Shiner. Before I could really explain he jumped in and told the guy about Celiac disease. He's just been really really awesome.

I know I could do this alone, but it's just made me feel like I'm so lucky and so blessed to have so many people that care enough about me to make these efforts.

So, for the few of you that I let read this, thank you again. You have no idea how your little efforts have made such a huge difference to me.

27 December 2007


Wow, a lot happened in 2007.

The biggest thing: I got over him and that whole mess. I, with the help of time and some special people, mended and soothed the pain that never seemed to go away. It was the hardest lesson to learn but I am so much stronger now and I intend to stay that way. I'm happy now but I can walk away with no regrets at any time.

Made some amazing new friends that will probably still be there when I'm 80.

Let go of a lot of my partying ways and focused on school. Still not satisfied with my grades though.

Finally quit the "safe" job to search for something that makes me happier. Still kinda scared about that but things always seem to work out in the end.

FINALLY figured out what's been keeping me from being healthy. I am looking forward to straightening all that out and integrating it smoothly into everyday life.

It has been a very emotionally & mentally draining [and maturing] year and it's made me tired.

Let's see what happens now!

20 December 2007

i don't want no one to squeeze me

...they might take away my life.

I am so glad I do not have a job right now. I have been sick since finals with two separate but simultaneous infections. I've felt like I've been slammed into by a linebacker or something. It's not like I chould stay home and veg, because C needed help moving and I had no Christmas shopping done.

I should have gone to the doctor at the first sign and it wouldn't have been so bad but NO, I always have to see if I can heal myself. On the plus side, it was nice having someone take care of me, especially without having to ask for it. I usually do the taking care of. Heating up your own chicken soup isn't so bad but it's even better when it's delivered with a kiss on the forehead and a box of tissues. Once I start these antibiotics I should be feeling much better.

SO I was feeling okay enough to make sugar cookies. (gf of course)

15 December 2007


Well, one man in particular.
Every once in a while I check out my ex's myspace to see how he's doing, and inevitably there is a blog or something that references me. And it's always about how I am the reason he's unhappy, I'm leading him on, etc etc.

We broke up two years ago! For some odd reason about 6 months after the breakup he decided that he wanted me back and had made a mistake (uh, DERRR) but I had already moved on AND made no effort to hide that. In fact I explicitly said that to him in many ways, many times. He had even met my new boyfriend. Most men would have let it go at that point. But noooo, not Robert.

He thinks it's fitting to publicly blame me for his unhappiness and claim that I was leading him on and that I messed with his head. Um, hel-lo I had my own relationship issues to deal with without adding on that whole mess again.

I wanted to maintain some sort of friendship but he kept going on these "anti-jen" things so I just forgot about him until he'd call out of the blue again wanting to talk. Yeah, that sounds like I'm messing with him, right?!

ARGH he has some NERVE.

Side note: His new girlfriend is very pretty (but not in that slutty way) and oh yeah, he's gained some weight. HAha

14 December 2007


I am going to talk in detail about some things that some people may find disturbing about the female anatomy. It's my blog, and I can write about whatever I want, but for the extra squeamish, you've been warned and it is clearly marked. I will now bring you back to you regularly [un]scheduled blog.

it's 4am.
i am most certainly not asleep warm and comfortable in my bed. like i should be.

i am in fact quite the opposite, cold and incredibly uncomfortable sitting in front of my computer.


c's amoebas, to be exact.
this is what i get for taking care of my honey while he's sick. and kissing & snuggling said sick person.

my sinuses are completely unpenetrable by my usual means. this stuff is not cutting it, i feel horrible.


that, and my fucking vagina is going nuts. it is so fucking itchy and painful, and is the main reason i am unable to sleep. this is what i get for playing around with hormones. bad jacobithegreat! BAD! that and i have that horrible equivalent of grown-up diaper rash... pad-rash. oh jesus what did i ever do to deserve this?? it's almost unbearable, i wanna take an ice pack and shove it in my crotch to relieve some of this pain. (don't get me wrong, this is not an infection OR an STD, none of the telltale signs are there. i'm not a dirty whore.)


i'm so tired but can't possibly sleep in this condition. my last day of work is tomorrow (well, in a few hours) and it would be incredibly bad form to call in sick. i think i've called in sick maybe 3 times in the past three years, only one of those times from an actual sickness. what are the odds i'd actually be sick on my last day of work?

i need a shower. i'm whiny and sick and there's no one awake to be whiny and sick to.

11 December 2007

on optimism

It's past noon on a Tuesday and I'm sitting here in my underwear drinking coffee and ignoring my phone. (once again, I love college)

I forgot how whiny men are when they are sick! Still it's nice to see the happy smile on his face after he's gotten a tummy full of donuts and alkaseltzer. Sounds gross to me, but he seemed to like it.

I feel kinda crappy. My head hurts and for the first time in three months, due to my own hormone replacement schemes, I will have the dreaded monthly visitor. Things are not very comfortable down there and I'm breaking out. And it's STILL 80 degrees in December! That alone makes me crabby. I'm moving back to CA as soon as I graduate man. Ha, I say that every time the weather in Houston gets shitty.

I am restless. I want this final to be over, and I want to finally finish my last day of work. This week will drag by, no doubt. I also have the endoscopy to "look forward" to on Monday. I'm slowly getting scared, distracted only by the more pressing issue of acing this final.

On the plus side, though, my stomach is not upset. :o) Yay for gluten free!
I love being an optimist.

08 December 2007

crappy interviews, finals and weather

I was late to the interview. I thought the time was 1130 but it was really at 11. So, needless to say, I didn't get the job that seemed perfect for me. Alas, it was not meant to be. I am not worried though, it will work out.

I wound up making a halfway decent grade on my ochem final, but sucked on my physiology final. Errgg. One more to go, I must ace immuno.

As I was decorating the staircase banister with green and silver garland, poinsettas and little round ornaments, I realized that I am in no way into the Christmas spirit this year. I was putting the decorations up for my mom, who is out of town and would like the surprise of having the decorations up instead of in bags on the floor when she returns.

Maybe because of finals, maybe because it's freaking 80 degrees outside (I abhor Houston's weather), maybe because I'm so tired, but I am just not feelin' the Christmas-ey this year. I was debating breaking out my own decorations and decorating my little apartment, but maybe if I do it will help.

I also want to volunteer. I think that will help get me into the "mode." I always donate to St. Judes, but this year I don't have much money to give to charity. I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities this time of year, especially if I don't have a job.

Stuff to do get around to doing:
-write Grandma back
-get the personal injury stuff from the accident taken care of
-tweak the resume
-find simple gf recipes, I'm so tired of eating the same old stuff!

07 December 2007

random life stuff

I have an interview today for a reception position, something exactly what I'm looking for. The only thing is, my schedule is so kooky this semester, it might be a problem. Oh, well. We'll see what happens.

This week has been nuts. I took my non-pregnancy wonder hormone pill this morning and was astonished to see that it's Friday.

Physiology final this evening. I'm TIRED!!

The parentals are out of town in San Antonio. I wish I was there on the riverwalk with my lover and an alcoholic beverage amid all the Christmas lights.

Speaking of lovers, C went to visit his grandpa "Pa Paw" (must be a southern thing) and he brought me back a birthday gift from him! It's a small crystal clock, very pretty. Anyway I was surprised to receive a gift from him, considering I've never met him. I guess it's kuz I make his grandson happy. :o)

Saw the GI doctor yesterday. I don't know if I really like him yet. And not because he said I have to get an upper GI endoscopy and small intestine biopsy. He assured me he'd knock me out with an IV. Scary yet intriguing and cool.

Well, another week of my life is gone. I like the way things are heading.

05 December 2007


So I am on a major brain high. I studied for pretty much 20 hours straight and now, after my final is over, I can't shut it off. I still have mechanisms and electrons and cyclohexane molecules being manipulated around in my head.

You know it's funny. I thought it would be an unbearably long night, that would never end and it would be so hard to stay awake, but it wasn't that bad. Even if I tried to sleep, so many things were whirring around in my cranium that I couldn't catch some Z's. (lying under the table at 4am while the cleaning lady vacuumed around me and Adam tried to cover me up w/ his jacket...haha)

I think it made it better that Adam was there next to me, even though we didn't really talk and mostly studied, it always makes me more comfortable studying with someone there. A nice Gin Blossoms interlude breaks up the mind-numbing monotony. That, and the fact that the majority of the people camped out in the c-site 24 hour computer lab were also cramming for ochem. Comrades!

So now, I don't have to be at work until another hour and a half, but if I go to sleep I'm done for; I won't be getting back up. So... I have an hour and a half to kill in this caffeine induced energy state.

Haha, I look like hell. I love college.
Rock on and bring on the day.

04 December 2007

crunch time

So. Here's the plan.

Ochem exam at 0800 hours tomorrow morning. I think it's time to pull my first all-nighter as a college student. After four or so years (who's counting, really?) I haven't had to do one yet, but I'd rather just camp out in the library than worry about missing my final because of traffic or car trouble or something equally disatrous.

I'm so glad C is out of town these two days because there's one major distraction gone from the equation. Seriously, I have zero self control, especially when it comes to him. Hell, I'll bring my stuff and study next to him watching tv. It works, right? Not really...

My plan is to head up there, study all day and then drive back home, take a shower, grab dinner and whatnot, then head back up and stay till my exam.

thermous of coffee: check, but not till the second trip to school
comfy hoodie: check
big bag of skittles: check
huge supply of gum: check
various gluten free snacks to share with my fellow cramming buddy, Michelle: check

Let's go.

01 December 2007


Before work Friday morning, I got a few special phone calls wishing me a happy birthday. My dad was among those and it made me happy that this year he didn't forget.

I put in my two weeks notice at work, and the day went by with happy wishes.

The party that I decided to throw only a few days ago went great. A lot of people showed up and there was plenty of alcohol, even for a BYOB party. I am constantly reminded that I have the greatest friends. A lot of people brought gifts, something I was not expecting at all. I felt very very loved.

I was thinking about where I was a year ago on my last birthday and how much I've been through since then. I'm glad it's all behind me and I was right, I am so much stronger because of it. I have high hopes for this coming year and I'm looking forward to enjoying it.