05 June 2015

The party really didn’t start

until she walked in.

She was a vivacious, sassy spirit that brightened up the room. It’s rare to meet someone with such a sweet, kind heart. Someone who always had a quip that would send everyone into hysterics. Someone who unabashedly declared that “these cupcakes are delicious because they’re baked with love.” (My favorite story) She was someone who had a million unique nuances that made her fantastically who she was.

Was.

Alana, my heart hurts for the life that you’re not going to live. For the plans you made that will never happen. For the struggles you went through because the future would be better for it. For the sunshiney days that you will never get to enjoy. And all of the other things about life that you will not get to experience again. Because you’ve been removed from a wonderful life. One that you were poised to spend many years enjoying. Dare I say you’ve been cheated. It’s not fair and that pisses me off. You were taken too soon.

My heart hurts for your husband, who in this experience has seen the world halted, turned upside down, shaken out and smacked around. The grief must be paralyzing.
It hurts for my sister, who lost her best friend and will miss you for a very long time. For Calvin, who won't get to know his Aunt Alana.
It hurts for your family, who lost a piece of themselves.
My heart hurts for myself, because selfishly I will never get to laugh at another one of your off-color jokes or admire your cheeky personality.

Life is worth living because of the other fantastic people in the world that make our lives better. She was one of those people.

It’s not real because it can’t be real. But it is. And we’re all left here dumbfounded, scratching our heads and wondering, “Why?”

The world lost a lot of sparkle when you left it, dear girl. May your sweet, sweet soul rest in peace. You're so loved and will be so missed.

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