15 November 2013

IUD Adventures: Conclusion.

After 2 years, my uterus is no longer an impenetrable fortress.

This week I had the IUD removed.

Why?

1. The husband started referring to my vagina as the "Wiener Scraper." Um, not exactly the nickname you want your lady parts called.
2. Consistently random cramps and spotting. Just enough to ruin a pair of underwear. The cramping varied from slight and fleeting to constant and bad enough to make me double over.

Other thoughts:
-I never could feel the strings. I just assumed it was still in there because I figured if it somehow came out, I'd know about it. 

Those are the main reasons. While I did love the "set it and forget it" aspect, and the peace of mind that the statistical effectiveness gave me, the other issues were just deal breakers, especially #1.

What surprised me was how incredibly easy and painless the removal was. Literally 30 seconds, during which my gyno went up in there, told me to cough, and walked out of the room. He even joked that I just "coughed it out."

After 2 years of near-constant cramps, and how much the insertion hurt, I was dreading the removal. Turns out, it's a piece of cake. I no longer feel that pain randomly throughout the day.

Now the next logical question- and in fact the nurse asked me this- "Are you going to try to start a family now?"

The answer is a big fat NO. Just to be clear. If you scroll back up to the list of reasons for removal, the desire for babies is definitely not one of them.

So. I'm temporarily back on a pill. One that is supposed to be chewable and tastes minty. Gag.

For my next trick, I'll be trying out the implant that goes underneath the skin on the arm. Statistically effective enough for me, and it has the same "set it and forget it" aspect as the IUD. Minus the wiener scrapage. It's ordered the same way as the IUD, so once the insurance company calls me and I pay for it, I'll be able to make an appointment for the insertion.

Yes, there are side effects associated with this type of birth control, as with all hormonal forms of birth control, but I'm still willing to try it out.
All this, for the sake of spontaneous sex without the threat of pregnancy! As I've said before, the current birth control options are great, but in some ways still so archaic and manipulative.

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