28 June 2014

changes and children

A few weeks ago Chris and I went to a baseball game with some friends. Well, actually mostly family, but that line is blurred anyway.

Anyway. The game was fun. At the end of it, though, we all came to the same realization. We didn't watch a single second of the game. Most of it was spent watching the kids play.

When Robby and Harlon come over, we all just kinda hang out and make sure Harlon doesn't kill himself or destroy something. (He's a great kid, but he's a 4-year old boy. This is necessary)

Last weekend, one of Chris's Marine buddies and his family came to visit. Their kids were 8 and 2, I think. It was a pleasant weekend, but again most of it was spent watching the kids.

Nearly every time that Chris and I spend time with people that are not each other, it's spent with children. We have realized that this will probably be the norm from now on. Pretty much everyone we know has children. It's kind of like a shift in our world. This particular change in dynamic used to be here and there, but now it's everywhere.

Even though we choose not to have children, our lives will be filled with them. And that's pretty much the way we're okay with things. I like these kids. But at the same time I'm so happy to say goodbye. Take last weekend- they were great kids; they didn't misbehave and they were adorable, but they are exhausting!
The more I'm exposed to people's children, the more I'm absolutely sure I do not want one of my own. I've also noticed that I can tolerate Calvin a lot more than kids that are not related to me. I mean, he peed on me last weekend and I was like, whatevs. I think I would have minded a bit more if it was any kid other than Calvin.

On the same kind of note, we've started hanging out with our old neighbors more. Yay new friends! Chris and the husband get along well. I've been trying to find a way to bond with the wife. We get along but haven't exactly clicked yet. I think we may find that through crafting.

They always get grandma to watch their kid when they hang out with us. I think we might be the only couple they know without kids, so it's like a treat for them, to have adult conversation without having to watch the kid, haha.

Hey, we can provide that service to our friends! Come, to the childless sanctuary of fragile items and quiet rooms and cleanish floors and ample booze! Then, when they start to miss their kids, they get to go home. Slightly tipsy.

We've also noticed that the dynamic hasn't changed the same degree with everyone. Some folks drifted apart father than others once kids were introduced. Our friendship circle has changed due to many reasons, but that's a big one.

This whole, "making new friends as an adult" thing is weird enough on its own, but adding kids to the mix kind of makes it that much harder. Especially since a lot of our friendships have drifted apart due to kids, we'd like to make friends with people like us; people who have the same interests and stuff. Our interests just don't happen to include kids.

In the same way that parents make friends with other parents, it would be ideal for us to find a few childless couples to hang out with. How weird does that sound? Where do you go to meet happy childless couples?

1 comment:

Drew said...

NYC. That's where you go. :) I had never before in my life met people who did not plan to have kids until I moved here. It's crazy, because I suddenly realized that's an option - I never even thought of it before because EVERYBODY else I knew had kids. Also, people have kids sooo late here. Like, it's not even considered until 30+.