automobile

So I've had two hit and runs, and poor Pedro still isn't even paid off yet.

Today I got rear-ended on the freeway driving to school and the fuckhead took off. Wow. My first accident. Not my fault and nothing fell off, I was happy. I was expecting a crumpled mess, but it wasn't that bad. Some scratches and a crooked bumper. The scariest part was sitting on the shoulder feeling the car rock as cars whizzed by. Talk about seasick... I was glad to get off the freeway.

Still, it shook me up a bit. I made it to class in time but it was hard to concentrate kuz it was still sinking in.

It made me feel better that my Dad left as soon as I called my mom and told her I'd been hit, and came to make sure I was ok. I know he lives in fear of one of us getting hurt. I think he even blew off a job. Just one of the "I love you" things he does.

ahh content

Wowww.
The big picture is changing.
My thoughts: It's never too late.

It's cool and rainy and the perfect type of weather for me. I love LOVE it. This is my favorite time of year, I feel almost giddy.

waiting for my mask to dry

So in addition to this strange phantom ailment, I've broken out lately. Good thing I have this mask that's supposed to make it better.

Still feel crappy, although the pain has migrated to my eustachian tubes and has settled there for the last couple days. It's very swollen and painful. At least now it's numb-able with sprays and cough drops.

So even though I felt less than great, I met up with M, J, Jen, Akh, T and B for Mexican food. It was pretty fun actually, there was a live band and it was a nice night. The weather is finally cooling down a little bit so it's pleasant to be outdoors. It won't last though!!

Then we trooped over to this 'adult novelty' store and had some fun lookin' at the stuff there.

I want to be a bumblebee for Halloween!

NOT in my head

Of course.
I went to the doctor... and they could find no reason for the pain. No inflammation, no infection, no fever, nothing.

Prescribe some nasal spray and decongestant and send me on my way. Ugh it still fucking hurts.

ouchh

I am in some of the worst pain I've ever been in.
Sunday morning I woke up with a pain localized right behind my nose, where it meets my throat. It felt like congestion and I just ignored it.

Then I kept waking up Sunday night because it was hurting. During the day, I ignored it again. I've had this type of pain before and it usually goes away on its own.

Then last night I took a drowsy decongestant and an inflammatory pill, and I still couldn't sleep.
So today it got to be damn near unbearable. I called my mom and had her make me a doctor's appointment since I'd be in class. And that's saying something; I don't go to the doctor every time I'm sick. Hell, I waited two years before I saw one for my stomach. I'm a big believer in "it will fix itself, we have an immune system for a reason." I would have loved to skip class and sleep but I had a midterm in ochem lab that would be a pain to make up. So I was a trooper and stuck it out.

Oh my gosh there's no relief from this pain. I feel it constantly, but it's much worse when I swallow; it even makes me flinch. I can't numb it, otc pain pills do nothing, same for decongestants. A hot shower won't even relieve it, and hot showers fix everything!!

That and it's spreading to my ear; I keep feeling sharp pains. And the eye on that side is red. I thought I had pink eye it was so red, but I woke up with just redness this morning. The other side is completely fine.

I'm really curious to figure out what is causing me so much discomfort, and I want it to go away NOW. I'll probably just get prescribed antibiotics. I have to wait till 8am tomorrow... ugh.

I want to cry because there's nothing I can do and it hurts so bad, but I'm sure it will only make it worse.
Make it go awayyyy.

I should probably not share this...

JACOBItheGREAT: this is SO nasty
JACOBItheGREAT: and I have to tell you
JACOBItheGREAT: so i noticed my shower's getting a little mildewey around the edges
JACOBItheGREAT: so I busted out the spray bleach whatever stuff today
JACOBItheGREAT: and I'm spraying away all happy, blasting the black spots
JACOBItheGREAT: and in one corner, the one where the water never really directly hits and the shower curtain never moves
JACOBItheGREAT: it's moving.
JACOBItheGREAT: i kid you not, so freaking nasty. it's a bunch of little wormy things.
JACOBItheGREAT: so I'm like, "AAAHHH"
JACOBItheGREAT: and I spray like a mother fucker
JACOBItheGREAT: until they're all writhing in bleach-induced horror
JACOBItheGREAT: (I think they're mosquito larvae)
JACOBItheGREAT: and I drenched that shower in bleach, shut the door and I let it sit for a few hours
JACOBItheGREAT: EEWW I'm all itchy thinking about it
JACOBItheGREAT: how nasty is THAT???
JACOBItheGREAT: So anyway I rinsed it all down, got the heebie jeebies again, sprayed some more bleach and am letting it sit for a few more hours. lol
Thales: oh god
Thales: that's so disgusting
JACOBItheGREAT: I KNOW!
JACOBItheGREAT: how do you think I feel? it's my shower!

secrets

This week's post secret hit home a few times. I wanted to upload pictures but the photo upload thinger isn't working so I'll just have you check it out on the actual site: www.postsecret.blogspot.com. The very first one struck some kind of nerve, for various reasons I won't get into now.

A lot of the secrets that I'd written out, ready to send in once I applied postage, have already been torn up. I came to terms with them on my own. A couple more are on the way, both figuratively and literally speaking.

A lot of secrets are in this blog, some stuff I prefer not to tell most people, again for various reasons I won't get into now.

The people that I've given this url to are the ones that I know won't judge me for my own paranoid rants and insecurities that once I write seem to justify how rediculous they really are. I don't get any "I told you sos" or unsolicited advice, no one berates me for how I feel, even though they might think it's absurd or they worry about me... which is nice because in this day and age that's all people want to do. No one wants to just listen anymore. I admit I am guilty of that as well, but I can't be the only person who feels that way so I think it's something that needs to change.

On that note I'm utterly exhausted and need to get some sleep. The week's almost half over!