I was having a very real, intense dream about a zombie trying to eat me. I was ready to kick some ass.
The phone rang, and I knew it was Chris, but I really wanted to see what happened in the dream. At the last second, I picked up. It was 640 am.
I was so sleepy that I couldn't make sense of the melancholy voice on the line and was halfway concerned that a zombie was still going to eat me.
Calling me on a pit stop on their way to the opposite side of the world.
Currently reading a book about people's life stories; the choices we make and what happens after that. Makes me hyper-aware of the fact that I'm sittin on my couch in my pjs while he's on that airplane.
I know it's small, but I really look forward to the daily text message, and now I won't get them for the rest of the year. It's like the tiny things that I'm holding on to for comfort are slowly being taken away from me.
It's not that I'm uneasy being alone; I'm fine being alone. If I were truly alone it would be so much easier. This relationship is not on hold; it's still going, and still growing and changing just like any relationship, just very differently than anything I've done. This is a new dynamic that I have to get used to.
I can't wait till I get used to it. This is still not easy.
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