Hawaiiiiii

Aloha!

I'm back from my trip. It was amazing, so fun, and I was definitely not ready to come back home. It was like living in a fantasy world for a few days. I would love to be back in paradise with Chris right now. But, I'm not, I've got to go back to normal life, and it's time to share the experience before Ashley dies from lack of knowing. :o)

Day 1: Travel day. I finished packing and petted my poor coned kitty goodbye. Akhtar, the amazing friend that he is, took me to the airport. The travel part was pretty uneventful. Smooth flights the whole way there. I was nervous about the 6-hour flight to Hawaii, but it went by pretty fast, and the extra-legroom seat made a huge difference. There were times I zoned out and forgot I was on an airplane.

When I landed, I texted Chris and flew out of the terminal with my rolly luggage in hand. I wasn't familiar with the airport, but I managed to navigate to where he was in no time at all. The look of happiness on his face was awesome. We squeezed and smooched for a minute, while the airport security guard stood awkwardly close.

Then, it was off to the hotel, while I dug through the bag of gluten free goodies he picked up for me, just in case I was hungry. < -- Moment of recognition for the thoughtful guy that is my fiancee. We chatted while I tried to make out the scenery, but it was too dark. Random tidbit: Speed limits are really low in Hawaii, even on the freeways.

We got to the resort and I instantly recognized the lobby from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. They didn't have any of the beach cottages available because we booked on short noticed, so we headed up to the room. Pretty sweet view.

Day 2: Friday. I woke up really early, due to the time change, and dragged Chris up to go eat breakfast. Random tidbit: Food is really expensive in Hawaii. I thought it was just the resort prices, but it turns out everything is expensive in Hawaii, even on base. We explored the resort and the beaches for a bit, then decided to check out the Dole pineapple plantation. The first thing we did was get some of the pineapple ice cream. Oh. My. That stuff is crack on a cone. Or, in my gluten free case, crack in a bowl. So amazing.

It turns out, pineapples grow like this:

Mind Blown. I thought they grew under ground or something. Nope, they just kinda sprout off the top of previous pineapple plants. They also have pink ones.

 I'm finding a way to get one of these.

We rode the Pineapple Express and got a tour of all the various things they grow. Afterwards we started to wander through the world's largest maze. In the middle of the maze, it started to rain. I said, it started to rain while we were in the middle of the world's largest maze. To avoid getting soaked, we ran through it as best we could, using "creative navigation" aka: running through the bushes.

It was hysterical. We got back inside and purchased a few souvenirs while Chris talked me out of getting another bowl of pineapple crack.

After that, we headed back to the hotel room and they brought us champagne because Chris told them it was our honeymoon when he booked the room. It very well could have been, but we all know that didn't happen. We had actually just opened a bottle of champagne, so now we had two. Party on! Actually, I had a glass and napped for about an hour.

When I woke up, I saw an empty bottle next to the bed. I asked Chris, "Where is all the champagne?" And he started cracking up, drunk as hell. He decided to drink it all while I was napping. I don't think he planned it that way, it just happened. Instead of dinner, I suggested room service because his drunk ass, while hilarious, would probably be a little loud for a nice dinner in public. I haven't seen him drunk in a long time, and it was so funny. He ate his burger, ran around being goofy for a bit, then crashed and started snoring. Love it.

Day 3: Saturday. We woke up, ate breakfast, and headed down to our surfing lesson. I poured the sunscreen on in a thick layer, just in case. The lesson was with a neat group of people. Somehow Chris and I ended up on a wave at the same time, and we both were able to stand up on the board on our first try. For the record, I was up about a second before Chris was. The photographer got a picture of us surfing together. The very next picture showed Chris still going strong, and myself falling off the board. It was pretty fun and surprisingly easy. We didn't get a copy of those, and I'm not going to post any other surfing pictures because the only ones he took are incredibly unflattering.

After a few more successful tries, I completely wiped out. The kind where the wave tumbles you and you can't tell up from down, swallowing water and seriously thinking you might die. I eventually popped my head above water, coughing and choking. Before I could catch my breath another huge wave caught ahold of me and repeated the process, this time slamming my flailing body into the coral bottom. Random tidbit: coral does not fuck around. It looks all pretty and rock-ish, but that shit is sharp. It will tear your ass up, which it did. After I surfaced and got back on my board as fast I could for relative safety, I was fighting tears, gasping for air, and pretty much over this whole surfing thing.

One of the surfing instructors came over and let me rest for a second, then helped me back out to the waves. I chilled out in the water for a bit, and rode a few waves on my belly, but I was too terrified to attempt standing up and upset the balance of the board again. Chris gave me shit for it, but I didn't give a crap. That shit was scary. I still had fun, and it was a cool experience.

After the lesson was over, we headed over to base. I got a tour of the places he normally hangs out, which was neat so now when he talks about them I can picture them in my head. I'm not going to post any pictures, because I'm not sure if that's allowed, even generic scenery pictures that happen to include parts of the base. Err on the side of caution, even if they are spectacular views.

Later that night, I discovered a sunburn on the back of one of my legs. Only one, and I know I put sunscreen on it. I hate how sunscreen can be random like that.

We got a quick and delicious sushi meal, that ironically was one of the least expensive meals that we ate. We had some nice conversation and headed back to the hotel late.

Day 4: Sunday I woke up feeling horrible. I was sunburned and aching from the physical activity, bruises, and cuts from surfing. The wisdom tooth was sore, my head was pounding, and I was starting to develop some serious sinus pressure. My entire body was hurting and every move took enormous effort. I felt like I had the flu or something. We went to breakfast where I didn't eat much, and headed back up to the room where I took a bunch of drugs. I was really trying to not let it ruin our day.

Chris kept telling me to suck it up and tough it out. I had to remind him that I am not a Marine, and instead of treating me like one, he should treat me like a girl, more importantly his fiancee, and show some sympathy and comfort. Then he reminded me that he has had literally no female contact for the last 5 months, and we understood each other a little more and he lightened up a bit. I was still determined to feel better so we could go do stuff.

After a few hours, I was feeling good enough to move, so we headed down to the beach to do some snorkeling. I've never been snorkeling, and was a little freaked out about the whole apparatus. Breathing through my mouth while my face is underwater is such a counter-intuitive move that I started hyperventilating almost immediately. We swam for a few minutes, and Chris showed me a puffer-fish swimming in the coral. We weren't on the beach for very long when it started to rain, so we went to the beach-side restaurant and had lunch.

The rain was intermittent, but the cloud cover was too much to see anything while snorkeling, so we visited the hot tub for a while. That evening we chilled at the poolside bar and had a few fruity drinks while watching a show involving fire.

There was a storm coming in and the wind got to be too strong, so they finished the show early and we called it an early night.

Day 5: Monday we checked out of the hotel and headed back to base so Chris could take care of a few things. We stopped at a few "scenic spots" along the highway and took a few pictures.

Ignore my sunglasses. I forgot mine at home and had to buy a random pair at the first place we found. It looks like Chris has a bit of a 5 o'clock mustache working, haha.

Random tidbit: Chickens are everywhere in Hawaii. They just run around and I guess they roost in the jungle. Apparently they are considered a pest. Wild jungle chickens. It was so strange to see them randomly milling about.

That evening we headed down to the bay to see the floating lanterns for Memorial day. The crowd was insane. I'd never seen a beach so crowded. We stayed until they let some lanterns go in the water, but had to leave for the airport before we got the full effect. Besides, the people were driving us nuts.

Day 6: After some slight fiascoes and an overnight flight that wasn't very restful, I caught a connecting flight in Phoenix that offered its own additional fiascoes. I was so disgusted with the layout and organization in that airport that I will never fly through there again if I don't have to. When I finally got to Houston, tired and hungry and sinusy and needing a shower, Akhtar was a sight for sore eyes. He took me home and I got ready for my work week.

So that's the trip. If you made it down here, congratulations-- even if you skimmed or just stopped at the pictures.