11 January 2017


Today when I walked through our pathologist's office, I took a peek at tomorrow's surgery schedule.

Sure enough, I'm on it.

After struggling with birth control and its various side effects for my entire adult life, I've finally decided to do it. The official phrase used on my FMLA paperwork was "desires sterilization." You bet I do.

I've never had the deep desire to become a parent. Realistically, I assumed I would marry someone who wanted kids and I'd go along with it. I figured my clock would eventually start ticking and one day I might want a kid, but I was never excited about it.

Then I got older, married someone who also does not want children, and no child-bearing urges have hit. At 32, I know that I do not want children. It's not a realistic idea for me.

My former gynecologist did not like the idea, due to my age and lack of children.
But my current gynecologist is more understanding.

The thought brings me relief.
My aunt's contraceptive-induced stroke a few years ago really freaked me out. Because basically I was headed down the same path.
Then I started worrying about the long-term effects of pumping all of these hormones into my body. Which combined with the anxiety brought on every month by the small chance that I could have conceived.

I might struggle with the transition of stopping birth control, and the recovery period might suck, but I welcome it.

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