Today is the first day in 15 years that Pumpkin has puked on the tile. Finally! No bedsheets to wash or carpet to scrub!
No, wait. That's not the focus of today. (Although the above fact is remarkable.)
Today, I did not cry.
Today I met with a lawyer to discuss my divorce. Saying it out loud (and telling people and writing it and hearing my mother tell people) is therapeutic, I think?
As nervous as I was, I have to admit it was a good experience. When I arrived for the appointment, I was brought into a conference room and placed in a cushy leather chair at a dark wood conference table.
I was told to fill out a form that had "Family Law" at the top. So I did. I filled out my address and ssn and date of birth, and Chris's address and ssn and date of birth. And our date and place of marriage.
At that moment, I felt strange. Like, acutely aware of the fact that I was providing the necessary information to sever ties with this man forever. I paused for a moment, considered that thought, and continued to fill it out. No tears threatened to fall, although I had worn waterproof mascara, just in case.
Then I was given a large packet to read:
Which I read. It was overwhelming and stark and informative at the same time.
(Those are my notes scribbled on the cover. I have no idea what they mean)
Then the lawyer walked in. Now, this lawyer was recommended to me by a high school friend who was divorced in the last couple of years and is now insanely happy with a new man in a new city. Life's crazy, right?
Anyway, I love my lawyer. (I feel weird saying I have a lawyer.)
She sat down at her computer and asked me a bunch of questions while typing away. She tried to figure out why we were splitting up, and I offered a vague, non-dramatic response. She asked more questions and typed some more. She asked if I wanted to keep the house and change my name. She told me my different options and respected every single opinion I offered.
She helped me understand all of my options, and I felt a little bit of a beast roar in her on my behalf before I explained that I wanted to keep all of this fair and simple.
Then she explained the process we decided on and answered all of my questions. Basically, I know she has my back in case shit goes awry. And I'm glad, because divorce is not cheap. It will take $2800 and 61 days to finalize this divorce, if things go according to plan.
Now I have a list of things to discuss with Chris. Because we are going to try and do things the civil way. Or at least I am.
To be honest, talking to him is going to be the hard part. Tomorrow is his birthday, so I guess I'll wait until Wednesday to bring it up. Although he might consider divorce a birthday present, I don't think it's classy to do that.
Hey, I didn't cry today!
(Ok, I teared up a little when I went back and read the post about our wedding.)
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