FUCK IT.

I think today I hit my critical threshold for... everything.

Especially after I made a lot of dumb mistakes on the serology lab practical this afternoon. It was like a day of try-and-fail-and-then-they-pile-more-stuff-on-top-of-everything-else-fuck-fuck-fuckage. They're masters of adding crap when you already feel like you're about to lose control. It's like, "Oh yeah piece of cake FUCK YOU."

I'm tired and overwhelmed and it's just starting to be too much. My little meter for handling everything is starting to tip into the red and my body's like, "Bitch what are you doing to me??" and my brain's like, "Slow down I can't keep up!" or maybe vice-versa or a little bit of both.

I don't know how I'm going to motivate myself to study for tomorrow's exam when I really don't give a shit.

Oh, god you're going to find me cracked up sitting in the corner in a ball rocking back and forth.

I've been trying to eat healthy and leave my emotionals out of it and keep a level head but fuck it, food is my friend and I'm going to go buy junk food and my ass can get as big as it wants as much as I care. Oh, fuck.

Shit.

Okay, I know I gotta keep a good attitude and keep truckin or I'm going to end up hating my life. And I'm supposed to be really good at looking on the bright side. Maybe I'll see it after some wine and junk food. Maybe...

One freaking day at a time.
Today sucked.