I’m slowly realizing how much freedom I’m losing by getting married, especially
when it comes to financial decisions.
I can't pick my own house. I can't plan my own vacations to Vegas. I can't go out and buy a TV or a new bed or a new car if I feel like it, without discussing it with him first. Once he comes home, I can't just go out with my sister after work or make plans for Saturday night without at least letting him know. If someone invites me somewhere, the invitation is automatically extended to him. We also automatically have a standing dinner date every single night unless otherwise specified.
I'm used to doing whatever I want, whenever I want, without consulting anyone else. I'm used to making my own money, and spending it on whatever I want.
Picking out a place to rent and planning a trip to Vegas would not have been an issue if I were single, or even if Chris and I were still just dating. I would have just... done it with no question. I mean, I would have discussed it with Chris and I would ask his advice, but ultimately the decision would be mine alone and if he didn't like it, tough stuff.
Now I have to discuss things with my husband like large purchases and where I-- err-- WE live. It's so strange. And if we disagree it's not like I can disregard what he wants and do it anyway. Ashley pretty much gave me the reality check on that one. Marriage changes the game, whether you like it or not.
I know this goes both ways. It's not like he gets to run amok and I have to check in constantly. Once you're married, you're a team. You don't do things like this by yourself.
This is definitely going to be an adjustment. Did anyone else feel this way after they got married?
Maybe this would be easier if we haven't been living separate lives for the past two years, and weren't still living separate lives.
Suzy's take: "Hey, you lose freedom but at least you don't die alone."
Thanks Goo.
Take it as a good sign that y'all discuss such things. R never discussed purchases and plans with me. He did as he pleased. We weren't a team at all and you know how that story ended.
ReplyDeleteI find the social aspect the hardest. Like you said, you have to at least let him know you've made other plans, and I usually always feel guilty about not spending that time with him.
ReplyDeleteI do like the standing dinner date, however. I eat WAY better now that I'm married. With somebody else involved I'm willing to put in more effort to make an actual meal.