Christmas is cancelled

I know we all like to joke about it, but as I sat there cross-legged next to my tree full of presents soaked in cat urine*, that's how I felt.

The night took a wrong turn after I expected a package that said it was delivered but did not arrive, (yay fun). Then I started pulling out the presents to take a group picture for the 12 days of Christmas and noticed they were wet. At first I thought it was from sloppily watering the tree, but then I smelled it. The unmistakable stench of urine.

I knew Pumpkin was taking the dog thing WAY too well. I was a fool not to expect it. Even though she's never peed under the tree before, and it's been a very long time since she's peed on anything. WHY does the answer have to be to pee on stuff?? Take a dump somewhere. At least that's easier to locate and clean up. Pee lurks and lingers and you're never sure just where else she decided to 'vent her frustrations.' Fuck. I'll be paranoidly smelling the house out for cat urine for a few weeks.

After turning into a super pissed off bitch, the only thing to do was dejectedly clean it all up and re-wrap the presents. And sprinkle chili powder all over the tree skirt and surround it with a perimeter of sticky tape in the hopes that it won't happen again.

My toot is so cute. And I love him. And he's so patient with me when I fly off the handle. Over stupid shit like cat pee on the presents. And lost packages. Which, ironically, was the cat food I ordered.

*At least I'm pretty sure it's cat urine. I highly doubt that the dog could aim so well, and this type of thing is just so, so Pumpkin.