18 June 2016

another insecurity bites the dust?

For some reason last night kitty decided to get really excited about something and meow fantastically while tearing about the room. For hours. I eventually got up to see what was so important, but I was unable to find a bat, or a mouse, or a roach, or a lizard. So I went back to bed. Maybe I'll find it, maybe I won't.

Started my period today, so now I'm stuck in all its bloaty, crampy gloriousness. I feel like I'm 14 again because I'm going to a pool party and I'll have to deal with tampon changings and blegh.

And then I started thinking about how all my friends are going to see my bloated body and think I'm fat and tell everyone that I got fat. And it hit me just how ridiculous that sounds.

I'm thirty-freaking-one years old and I'm worrying about what my friends will secretly think of me in a bikini. I am a grown-ass woman. I should not give a shit about what anyone thinks, especially my closest friends who are not there to judge me as I lay by the pool. They're there to share my wine and talk about celebrities, duh. Does the body insecurity never end??

On that note, I gotta go shave all the parts. And pack a lunch.
I've been craving pool time and I'm going to enjoy it!

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