random sunday brain activity

This was supposed to go up Sunday, but I got tired of writing it halfway, and then I got distracted by baby news...

To start off, a little note. I would say thank you for going along with my weird shit, but I think you actually enjoy it. Reason #175...

Gluten free themed game night = AWESOME. Sometimes it smacks me in the face that I know some really amazing people.

Been craving change.
Been trying to convince Chris to move somewhere neat when he comes home. Then in my thought process I realized-- Yes, I've been sitting here bored with my life, wanting to make changes happen, but he's been a whirling dervish of change this entire time. Of course he wants something stable to come home to.
He's tired of constant motion and I'm tired of being stagnant. Our lives are complete and utter opposites.

And yes, it has occurred to me that I am a grown up, self-sufficient woman and I can do whatever I want. Like move to the beach. Or the biggest issue, the biggest life-suck, is what time I get up in the morning, where I go, what I do, who I do it with, and ultimately, how I pay my bills.

However, there are more important things that I need to consider right now. The disappointing reality is, the change that I am capable of making just. has. to. wait. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And sometimes, what you gotta do sucks. So, my wanderlust has been squalshed. For now.

In the meantime, I continue to stay here bored out of my mind and miserable every day, shlupping out of bed before dawn to face another day of mind-numbing disorganization, drama, and abuse. I've never been good at waiting, especially once I set my mind that I want to do something.

I've always been very good at changing my attitude to compensate for shitty situations, but damn I'm having a hard time with this one. Between the exhausting schedule and the bitter reality, it's no wonder I never want to get out of bed.

I appreciate those of you who are just letting me be, and handle this strange point in my life my own way. When I stop bathing, you have permission to roust me. 

P.S. Today no less than THREE separate bloggers on my google reader posted about brownies. A sign?