wedded stress

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with wedding planning.

I'm getting opinions from everybody except who matters most, from all angles, and it's overwhelming. I don't even know what I want anymore! Maybe I need to sit down and figure that out again and go from there.

Regardless, I need to get on the ball. Questions need to be answered before I can continue making these tentative plans. It's like, stress city over here. My sister has been incredibly helpful with logistics, but she can't provide his opinion. I'm getting married to a guy who's just going to suddenly show up for it all. Which is actually pretty accurate. Lucky guy. I want to just show up too! (Haha.)

And since we hardly talk, I'm scared that we won't be on the same page about important things like finances and the future, and you know, normal shit people talk about before they get married. I know we'll figure it out eventually, but it's just kinda hanging over my head.

It's exciting because he's coming home and I'm planning my wedding, but at the same time it's making me sad. It's missing something.

I wanted all the traditional fun things that my friends all had. The engagement party, the pictures, the pretty invitations, the registry & the showers...  everyone else gets that period of fun and love and making memories. I'm not trying to compare my life to everyone else's, but I always thought I'd get to experience those things. Honestly, I don't even know if I'll care about that stuff 5 years from now, but it seems overrated until you don't get it.

I know it's not about the wedding; it's about the marriage. I know our marriage will be wonderful, but I can't help but feel like I'm missing out. You know?

I know once the stress of planning is over and he's actually home I'll be over the moon and I won't feel any of these feelings except excitement and I won't care about anything else. That's kinda what he does; erases the stress.

I can't wait for that.
There's nothing a little squeeze from Chris can't fix.