09 May 2010

antsy

Been thinking a lot about the future lately.

Not that the present is terrible; but I don't want to take it one day at a time. I want to skip ahead to the future. I have these giddy ideas of what things will be like. I don't know if they will be the way I imagine but I'm just so antsy to get through the now and get to the future.

Looking forward to so many things.
Graduating at the end of the summer. After 7 years I want it so bad I can barely stand it. I'm so close but I'm also deep-down terrified that something will fuck it up at the last minute. I am so unbelievably tired of being bogged down with schoolwork and being piss poor, watching pretty much everyone around me move forward with their lives while I'm still working on this one goal that consumes my life.

I'm ready to move on to the next chunk.

I have so many plans in my head that I'm excited to make happen. I'm not ready to admit some of them, so I just continue to look forward to the future in my head while I grudgingly take it one day at a time here in reality. When I stop to think about it though, I can't deny myself some pretty awesome "now" moments because I'm stuck in future mode. Oy, patience. I've never been patient.

Starting blood bank rotations tomorrow. Another one of those, "I have no idea what to expect" days. I've had a lot of those lately.

1 comment:

  1. This was so me today too! Dreaming about the future and just wishing I could fast forward to it. And I also had to remind myself to enjoy the present. One day at a time! You (and I) can do it!! :)

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