16 April 2012

shove it?

It's nothing new that my job is less than awesome right now. Fair warning: This post will be long and probative.

In the past, I've always been the person to say, if you're not happy, change it. If you don't like your job, get a new one. Life is too short to be miserable every day. That little bit of theory has led to some very good decisions that I've been very happy about.

The things I dislike about my job include the stress level, some of the people I work with, the disorganized and under-managed phlebotomy team (which is the main source of the frustrations), the hours, and the paycheck that has stayed the same for over a year and a half.


The division of labor and experience is majorly skewed, but the paychecks aren't. I bust my ass, have a degree and a certification, and I make the same amount of money as the fuckup whose mistakes I fix, on top of doing my own job correctly. I frequently have anxious work dreams. I haven't been sleeping well due to the stress, and trying to go to bed while the sun is still up and shining. Lately I've been waking up in the middle of the night with my jaw clenched. No matter how glad I am to leave work at the end of the day, I end up subconsciously taking it home with me. I'm so tired of it all.

There are things I like about my job.

I love that I have so much freedom. That's a huuuge plus for me. I make a lot of independent decisions. I do things my way. I have a lot of input and am often asked for my opinion. Nobody questions me or fucks with me. That would not fly in most labs. I love the freedom. I love the leadership. With that freedom does come more responsibility. I'm okay with that. It would just be nice to get a little extra moolah for my consistent efforts.

I like my boss, and, more importantly, I respect her. She leads by example and it makes a huge difference. She doesn't care if I take an extra-long break, or even if I take several snack breaks during the day. She doesn't care that I come in 10 minutes late on a regular basis. As long as we get the work done on time, she doesn't worry herself with trivial matters like that. I also really like most of my coworkers. Others, I tolerate. 

I like that since it's a small lab, I get a lot of experience in several areas. Much more than if I were in a larger lab, where they'd stick me in one spot and I'd never do anything else. It's also takes concentration and skill to juggle the many things that we do. Sometimes all that brain power it requires leaves you fried at the end of the day. Overall I like it better than a boring brain-numbing "push this button over and over" type of day. Also, since it's a smaller lab, we do some things old-school. Sometimes it's a pain in the ass, but I feel like I'm using my expertise instead of relying on an instrument. I like that.

I like that I don't have to pay ridiculous amounts of money for parking, like I'd have to do if I worked in the med center. Parking was more than my car payment when I went to school there, and that was with the student discount that I will no longer get. The commute is much shorter. Also, due to my sucky hours, I never hit traffic.

Lately, one of my coworkers has been considering a job change. She is frustrated for many of the same reasons I am, and has a few additional non-work-related reasons for needing to make a change. I've always told her that if she leaves, I'm leaving too. Honestly, she's the main reason I can tolerate that place. I shudder at the thought of working alone with fuckup every day, and dread the thought of training someone new. Training succkkkssss.

Even before she mentioned her plans to me, I had been pushing the idea of changing jobs out of my head for a while. Oh, it has definitely occurred to me. But I keep talking myself out of it. For a few main reasons.

I feel like I can't just change jobs willy-nilly anymore. This isn't just a job to get me through college; I've started a career. When shit gets tough, you have to stick it through and show your loyalty.
She started talking about other places and I thought, "Man it would be nice to not have to deal with this shit any more." However, the grass is always greener on the other side. Eventually, I will just end up hating new things about my new job. No job is without its flaws. People who have spent 20 years at the same company didn't spend every day loving their job. You just have to take the good with the bad, and ride out the super sucky.

Dude, and job-hunting sucks. Interviews suck. The process of changing workplaces and training sucks, even when you're the trainee. Nobody likes training, haha. I'm just not fed up enough to start all that.

Also, for some reason, I feel like I'm not in a position to make any huge life changes right now. It just doesn't feel right. I feel like I need to sit tight and see what happens in the rest of my life first.

I'd like your thoughts. I feel like I'm too much inside my head for all this mess and I'd like someone else's perspective.

2 comments:

  1. As far as the job change: better the devil you know, than the one that you don't! At least you are aware of the suckages at your current job. That's something.

    And some of the stresses just come from adult things, unfortunately. I also developed a teeth grinding problem and I have to consciously tell my jaw to relax. Or else I will have to buy a $400 teeth guard!

    What gets me throughmy own stress at work is just reminding myself about why I am there and thinking about what I do enjoy about work. This is especially effective when I am being cursed out by the children.

    Maybe it's time for a nice vacation. If you can get some days off in the summer, let's go to Puerto Rico!

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  2. I know very little about the day to day details of your job, but I get the vibe from your posts you don't hate it quite enough to leave it. I'd say give yourself some sort of time frame, say 3 months, and commit to that for now. If there is still major suckage then you may as well start the ball rolling on looking for another job.

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