17 April 2015

Pee wars

I spent most of today on my hands and knees, smelling the floor in the craft room every few inches.

Why yes, the cat did pee on the carpet. The carpet. The long-pile carpet. Which, I found out, is infinitely harder to clean than regular carpet.

Not only did the cat pee on the carpet, she pooped on the carpet. Which was actually pretty awesome because it was really easy to identify the location of the first pee spot. The second pee spot was a little tougher to find. I'm glad I'm a pee veteran and suspected there might be more than one spot.

Back to cleaning this god forsaken carpet.

Damn you, previous owners and your lofty shag-type carpet choices and patterns that hide stains. There's so much more of the actual carpet fiber, and you can't readily identify pee areas. Once you sniff out the spot, you kind of have to massage and comb the cleaning products into the carpet with your fingers. Yes, I combed the carpet with my fingers today. Several times.

Why is there even pee on the carpet? My guess is there was another dog vs cat incident while we were gone. And this time instead of a courtesy pee on the rug/tile, the cat meant business.

It just so happens that I'm hosting a craft night and the cat peed in the craft room two days before. Nice, cat. Which is why I spent most of my day off on my hands and knees, sniffing and massaging product into the carpet with my fingers. It sounds stark raving mad, but it has to be done.

Cat pee is not to be taken lightly. Left alone or cleaned improperly, one pee spot's worth of odor can take over an entire house. Or the cat will go back and pee there again. My home will NOT be destroyed by my animals, damn it. I will not be the smelly house. I attack every pee spot swiftly and completely until no odor remains.

1. Clean and clean and sniff and clean until the odor is gone. I've literally been cleaning and crawling on my knees and scrubbing and massaging fucking carpet for two days. I busted out the carpet cleaner for two rounds and I went ahead and bought an entire gallon of Nature's Miracle.
2. The litter box has, sadly, made a more permanent appearance. In the master bathroom, so that there will be no reason for her not to use it, and also so Andy won't dig around and eat the poop. Elena told me she was prone to do that when they had her. Gag. It's super annoying because the litter gets everywhere and bathroom = bare feet + litter = gross and annoying, but I'd rather sweep litter daily than clean that damn carpet again.
3. The cat gets thrown outside the front door when we leave. Not only does she spend WAY too much time hunkered down in the bedroom, but this will reduce the chances for inappropriate pee choices and she will not have to directly confront the dog, who obviously goes in the back yard. It will also hopefully reduce her tendency to get bored around 4am and start meowing and running around the house. Not fun, cat. We have to get up and go to work. She still has the option to come inside via the cat door, but oddly enough she rarely makes the trip around the house to the back yard. Probably for fear of the dog, but right now it works.

So that's the newest story around here. I can't help but think that if the dog weren't around, NONE of this would be necessary. Yay for that. But also the cat is kind of a cunt and if she were less of a bitch this would also not be necessary. Yay for that.

At this point, combined with the INCREDIBLE amount of shedding going on between the two of them, I want to throw them both out and declare them outside animals and make my home my sanctuary again. But Chris would never go for that because he loves animals and stuff. Yay for that.

P.S. My mom got her hair cut the same day I got mind cut (by our regular hairdresser), and apparently it turned out lopsided and horrible. Maybe I didn't make a mistake after all. Because right now even my ponytails look cute.

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