05 July 2016

beasties.

Last night I made perhaps one of the top 3 best decisions I've ever made in my life.

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to openly talk about uncomfortable medical-type sexual things.

A couple of days ago I started feeling some discomfort in my lady area. My first thought was to go online and buy some revenge crabs because dear old hubs managed to pass on something disgusting.

To confirm my suspicions, I grabbed a sterile swab at work and collected a wet prep specimen in the bathroom. Crouched in the bathroom with my scrubs around my ankles swabbing my hoo-ha was not my finest moment.

I sat down at the microscope, expecting to find something to make my blood boil, but as my search yielded no parasitic flagellates or diplococci, I was surprised to notice a few little budding yeasts.

Son of a bitch, I had a yeast infection. Yuck.

The last time I had one of these was nearly ten years ago when I stopped eating gluten. I had no idea what it was, got tested for every STD under the sun, again tried to blame Chris, and it was a horribly long and uncomfortable process.

I'm not the type of person who regularly gets yeast infections after antibiotics, swimming, hormone changes, etc. So what triggered this one? I'd love to find out and avoid it for the rest of my life.

I have a theory that the Nuva Ring may be a factor, since I take it out during adult fun-time and rarely care where I fling it. I probably set it down in a yucky place and didn't rinse it off well enough before re-insertion. Who knows.

On to treatment. Easy drugstore purchase. The problem with this, besides the obvious, is that the treatment is much worse than the disease. It's messy and I think I'm allergic to the medicine because the discomfort gets much, much worse after I've applied it.

Nevertheless, I took the medicine because I really had no choice, and woke up to intense discomfort a few hours later. Nothing helped. So, in a moment of desperation, I grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer, put it in a plastic bag, and tucked it inside my undies. Again, not my finest moment.

But oh, it worked. Immediately. Calmed the swelling, itching, discomfort, you name it. Crotch ice packs are the best. The relief was so welcome that I am officially dubbing it one of the best decisions I've ever made.

You are welcome for hearing all about my yeast infection. Ugh. Yuck. It grosses me out.

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better today. Cheers.

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