coworker advice

So lately I've been writing about weddings and Chris and all that. Time to talk about the other thing that I ramble on about quite frequently. The walking clusterfuck at work.

I could go into details, but it would just be me rambling. Point one: I don't like him, and I don't like working with him. Point two: Everyone at work feels this way, except my boss who seems, for God knows WHAT reason, to stand up for him. Even after we've all voiced some concerns. It's unbelievably frustrating.

Basically, I don't see this situation changing any time soon. So I need to change my attitude. As it stands, I dread the moment when he walks in the door. And I try to be as friendly as I can, but I am inevitably rude or snarky or exasperated or fed up or frustrated towards him. And at the moment when it happens, I feel like I am holding back my anger, so in comparison to what I WANT to say, it seems tame.

However, at the end of the day when I replay the events in my head, I feel like such a bitch. And he's so damn obtuse that I think he thinks I'm just being mean. And I don't like feeling that way, even if the shit head deserves it. I don't want to be the "mean girl at work," because I'm not. I want to be happy at work, like I used to be.

I also am sick and tired of complaining about him. I am tired of him constantly being a topic of conversation every time he gets on someone's nerves or fucks up. I'm tired of thinking about it outside of work hours. I want to leave work issues at work. I don't want to take this stress home!

I need to find a way of coping with the fucktard in such a way that does not lead to me being mean and feeling bad about it afterwards. I do not want to make him feel like he is my favorite person, because let's face it, it's impossible. I DO want to have a decent coworker relationship with him. I have to, for my sake.

Does anyone have a trick to this? To being nice to someone who you just want to curse out and kick out of the lab? To not letting idiots get under your skin?

Maybe some mantras to repeat in my head until the feeling passes. Possibly some pressure points. Breathing exercises. Something that's worked for you in the past.

Please, share.