my style

I just stubbed my toe BAD on the doorframe. One of those ones where the joint pops are audible over the large gasp of air you inhale in order to immediately spew a string of healthy profanities. And then everyone asks you if you are ok but you're so mad that you just did something so stupid it makes you even madder that they asked. One of those.

I have been in a hermit mood lately. Moreso than usual.

The thing about me is, I don't particularly like to make plans, especially the ones that are extra hassle-y. Like driving downtown and scrounging for a parking spot. Or getting a large group together and dealing with ten people calling you about your plans.
Or, my least favorite, being somewhere really crowded. I hate crowds so much. It's not so much a phobia or anything. I just hate people and they aggravate me when there are a lot of them in close quarters.

Come to think of it, I've never really been a very involved plan-maker. I prefer to spontaneously say, "hey let's hang out!" rather than plan things weeks ahead of time. I like to do things more laid-back that don't require a lot of effort because to me it sucks the fun out of it.

I've always been one of those people that enjoys relaxing during my free time. Usually between work and school I'm just so tired by the end of the day that I don't want to do a whole lot. I went through my party hardy phase and it was a blast. Every now and again the club or the bar is so much fun, but lately I haven't had the cash.

That's another thing that's been hampering my social life lately: a lot of my friends don't have to worry so much about money. Most have graduated and work full-time jobs, or for some reason or another don't worry about money. I do.

So when everyone goes out to see the new movie or whatever, I refuse to pay the ridiculous amount of money for it. A lot of times my friends will offer to pay for me. Because it's not so much about the expensive event as it is about hanging out and they want me to be there.
I always sincerely appreciate the offer, but that bugs me too. I am not a mooch. I take full responsibility for myself, including my finances. And if I don't have the money to do something, I won't do it. Not wait for a handout from one of my friends.

It was kinda nice when all my friends were broke and there was an abundance of people wanting to get together and watch a movie, or just sit at a coffee shop and talk. Nowadays it seems like there's always something more fancy to do. Which is cool and all every once in a while, but it just sucks to turn people down all the time.

You know what, I won't be in college and broke forever. But I'll still probably prefer drinks on the back patio to a fancy night out on the town, haha.