banana

Jen has asked me to write a guest blog about my experience at work the other day.

So. I go to lunch as usual and when I walk in the break room I sit down at an empty table by the microwave. There are a few people in the room with me, no big.

I microwave my food and am minding my own business when I am approached by a co-worker who tells me that when I am finished, she would like to sit in my spot. This is not the first time she has asked me this and normally she goes and sits down and waits for me to leave. (which usually happens to be about 30 minutes before I actually am finished with my lunch break).

However, on this particular day that is not what happened.

I had finished eating, but was not yet ready to get up and leave as I was still searching the web on my phone and relaxing as well as waiting for Jen to come up there so we could shop on the rest of my break.

I don't suppose she had too much patience this day because she decided to come and sit next to me with her weird powdered tea and banana. My things were sprawled out on the table because, well, for the next 20 minutes or so it WAS my table. However, as she was running out of room to put her things I attempt to move my lunchbox and she says "no, it's ok you can leave it there".

uhm. Bitch, I KNOW it's ok because I was sitting here first but I'm not about to have you spill your tea shit all over my things.

Then she proceeds to have a conversation with the woman in FRONT of me - whose table was just as empty as mine, with as many empty seats by the way - and eat her banana. Now, she is one of those women who thoroughly enjoys eating with her mouth open and talk at the same time in her weird language and I feel like I should mention the disgusting nature of being near anyone who is eating a banana.

It sounds disgusting. It sounds like someone attempting to eat hard food when they have no teeth and they just - gum the fucking thing until it becomes the consistency of baby food. And then, it gives this odd after-smack sound of someone who has just gulped down a generous amount of milk and is trying to get the film of dairy out of their mouth.

So, needless to say I am utterly disgusted and amazed at the audacity of this woman who has taken over what was supposed to be my relaxing break. Thankfully, Jen called shortly after she started to ingest her banana and I left.

I just don't get some people.