romance

I went to dinner with 'the girls' last night. By 'the girls' I mean M, Jen and A, my fellow dance team officers in high school. I love these girls and we only get to meet up every few months or so, so I really look forward to seeing them.

It was nice, we had dinner and had coffee at Agora. We talked and caught up, and this time the conversation was centered on everyone's boyfriend. Jen and A have awesome romantic new relationships that seem to have tons of potential. Of course I've already heard about M and Ja, but the whole night seemed to be centered on everyone gushing over how sweet and wonderful their new boyfriends are.

Now. I felt kinda strange being the only one not gushing over her boyfriend. I mean don't get me wrong, I've been pretty happy with the way C and I have been getting along. It's just, I don't gush. Over anything, really. Especially not boys. I tend to keep that more private and laid back, even when I was dating incredibly sweet and romantic guys who said sweet things and lavished me with attention and made me feel all princess-like.

Except. All those "prince charmings" that I dated... I'm no longer dating. Instead of feeling all gushy when showered in romance, I get the feeling they're trying way too hard and it backfires. Poetry, sweet sayings whispered in my ear, flowers all the time, planned romantic dates... etc. There were several times when I was hearing the girls talk about things their men did and/or said, I felt like rolling my eyes and saying, "you have got to be kidding me." But then I realized that they really go for this stuff! I mean, they were all so glowy and happy. And I was really glad to see them all like that.

So then I started thinking that maybe I deserved a man that made me want to tell my friends every little sweet thing he did. Am I selling myself short?

Then I thought about how I've dated guys who did all that sweet stuff and, try as they might, it totally didn't do it for me. Conventional romance is so CHEESY!! I like the kind of romance that comes in the form of letting me decide what tv show to watch, or rolling over in the middle of the night and reaching for my arm to drape over his chest, or reading the label to make sure it contains no wheat, or teaching me how to properly shoot a firearm, or changing my oil, or noticing that I have a small cut on my lip and asking what happened. Instead of constantly telling me I'm beautiful or comparing my eyes to some sort of glowy pretty thing, I want to notice that lingering look as I walk by. I don't want to be showered in affection or have my ass kissed. In fact, that makes me want more space.

So, at the end of the night, we went our separate ways (no doubt, to our men) and I headed over to C's. And shivering in the cold on the Starbucks patio sipping my chai latte, waiting for him to finish his cigarette, our eyes met and he smiled. Even though I don't have any gushings to add to the shmoopy-fest, I'm very happy with my unconventional man and the way we are. I'll take him and his issues and non-poetry-spouting-manliness and cute smile over romance overkill any day.

To each his own!