smooth peanut butter doozies

Why, on all nights, does Dave have to bring up and ponder and explore the meanings and mysteries of love? And ask point-blank the exact, very same questions that I have been wondering lately but keeping to myself? I swear, despite all the bullshit and how our friendship is not as close as it once was, we click on the most subconscious level.

And, as usual, talking about it solved nothing, but I feel better about it. At least I'm not alone in my crowded mind that over-analyzes things. Dave fully understands where I'm coming from and it's all out in the open, no bullshit type of talking. It still amazes me how his timing is so perfect with all this.

We call ourselves wise because of the pain that we have endured and, more importantly, overcome and learned true lessons from. At least we feel wiser than those who are naiive. 'Wisdom' does not come easily.

So is that wisdom the reason why we feel we need to guard our hearts "just in case?" Have we risen beyond the obsurd lures of fairy tale "true love" and come to terms with the reality of it?
Or are we still jaded and ignorant of the possibilities of truly letting yourself go and not to the point of actual wisdom yet?

I'm not fully allowing myself to enjoy this smooth peanut butter ride even after coming to terms with the chunky peanut butter road that I've traveled and made it out intact. And I'm okay with that right now. Dave is also not content with just enjoying his smooth peanut butter. He's got the future on his mind, probably because he's at the point in his relationship where he's go to figure out what he's going to allow himself to do, to feel.

Not that I'm even considering it now, but he mentioned it so now it's on my mind. There will have to be a point where I graduate from living in the here and now, the "one day at a time" to the future possibility of a lifetime of commitment. But in order to do that, you have to let that guard down and as Dave puts it, there's that instant of pure trust. And as I put it, it's a doozy. We both agree that it is indeed quite a doozy.

These are deep issues that can only be delved into properly at 2am but I am tired.
In the interest of preserving my optimism, here's to the doozy.