dynamics

My attitude is changing.

This is such a drastic change from what it used to be. I wonder what it means.

I'm kinda feeling Missy on this one. Without going into too much detail, since when is it mandatory that we put up with our partner's issues and "be there?" How much is too much and when do we draw the line? As long as it's balanced, and each person is there for each other, it's okay. But when it gets unbalanced... then what?

Not saying that things have been bad in that area lately; they've actually been very good. But it's something that I've thought about when it does get bad.

I find myself feeling relief instead of anxiety when I'm not invited to participate in his problems. It's more, "hey, I'm not going to trouble myself" instead of "why won't he tell me what's wrong?"

I know it has nothing to do with me when he gets overwhelmed by crap going on, and there is often nothing I can do about it. So, all that time I spent worrying and trying to help was pointless, and I feel a lot better when I simply don't worry about it. It feels a little selfish, but it leaves me with a better feeling than any other strategy I've tried.

This relationship has morphed from me wanting so much more than he was willing to give, to getting it tenfold, and recently things have cooled off a little. We are both busy, and haven't spent as much time together.

The thing about it is, though, I don't miss him as much as I used to when we wouldn't see each other often. I don't crave his presence as much.

Is this a bad thing?
Not necessarily.
I kind of like this "non-smothering" relationship. You know, the one where you don't spend all free time with your significant other and get lots of space to do your own thing.

I think that we have a stable enough "foundation" for us to be comfortable like this. This is not to say that we don't see each other at all- just not in the overkill pattern that relationships tend to fall into. I think time spent apart makes you appreciate the other person more.

That intimate connection you get with spending time with someone isn't as strong, and I think that's the way I like it. At least, for this point in my life anyway. I'm not looking or focusing on anything more than that right now.

I think I've found that balance between "too close" and "not close enough."
Not to leave on a bad note, but we all know how easily scales are tipped...