29 April 2009

fml?

If I've ever had a "FML" moment, it was tonight. I was at school all day, going to class then studying calculus in the library from 3-8, then I went to the review from 8-10. I'm not that prepared and the review only made me feel less prepared. Either way, that's a lot of calculus.

I'm always on high alert when I walk to my car after dark. I'm always looking around, walking at a brisk pace, with my pepper spray in hand. I always get my adrenaline going, ready to spray some fucker in the eyes and run away if I'm attacked. You just never know when something like that'll happen.

After the review was over I walked to the parking lot across campus, about a 10 minute walk... only to remember that when I got there, I had parked in a different parking lot... completely on the other side of campus. That was another 15 minutes across campus but a mere 5 from where I had originally been in class. It was late, and I knew the way back was not very well-lit and not a very popular part of campus, especially after dark. I kicked myself because if I had remembered when class ended I could have asked one of the guys to walk with me. I was mentally and physically exhausted, hungry, overwhelmed, and stressed. And my feet and calves were burning after I just powerwalked for 10 minutes in a paranoid state. I seriously wanted to cry. I literally said out loud, "fuck. my life."

But, I started walking, on super-high-alert, and on the way there I saw some people humping near the Satellite. Nice. Why do I always see random shit like that?

Anyway, of course I got to my car safely and the drive home was longgger than usual.

I got home, having not eaten since breakfast, expecting to eat some funky leftovers. But when I opened the fridge there was a tin-foil-covered plate. Sweeeet, mom fixed me a plate of whatever was for dinner. Taquitos and tator tots, with some salsa/ guacamole thing that was delicious. Okay, I take back the FML. But, at the time, no other phrase fit better.

I'm tired, time to do it all over again tomorrow.

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